by Lia Lee
I dive for the discarded weapon at the same moment Quinn rushes forward to catch Jo in her arms as she crumbles to the ground in a sobbing heap. I’m stumped at the amazing strength and compassion of this brave, brilliant young woman, and I thank the moon and stars and whatever powers that be that have brought her into my life. If my child is inside of her, I’m the most undeserving son of a bitch in the world. I look gratefully into her luminous blue eyes as she cradles and comforts Jolene—a stranger to her who could have ended us both—in a gentle, forgiving embrace. A tired smile curves her beautiful lips.
“Everything’s okay. Go get Rose,” she urges quietly. “I’ll find you.”
I get to my feet just as two hefty men working security arrive to secure the handgun and take control of the situation. A police SUV pulls slowly into the area, sounding an intermittent woop of its siren to clear the crowd. I step back to give them space before I turn and cut a swath through the shocked onlookers to get to Rose, who I find lodged in the arms of a kind-looking middle-aged woman.
“Daddy!” she cries, reaching out to me with her tiny arms.
“I’m here, Rosebud. Daddy’s here.” I can barely choke the words past the ball of emotion trapped in my throat. “Thank you,” I say to the lady as she hands Rose off to me. I hold my little girl close amid the crush of people, flashing lights and ringing sounds of the carousel, memorizing the feel of her precious warm body against mine, and the sweet smell of her just-washed hair, and vow I’ll never let her from my sight again.
I know that’s not possible, but the day she was born I’d promised to be the best father I could possibly be. And if Quinn is telling the truth, I have twice as many reasons to live up to that promise now. I never thought I could love anything or anyone as much as Rose, and as much as I hate myself for what I’ve done, the thought of Quinn carrying my baby fills me with a silent, indescribable joy. When she’d said, “I have something to tell you,” I have no doubt this was her incredible news.
I start back across the parking lot to find Quinn and tell her how much it means to me, how grateful I am, and that I’ll stand by her; that I love her now more than ever.
“Can I have ice cream now?” Rose asks in that long-suffering, but irresistible whine that only exhausted four-year-olds can pull off. I laugh in spite of the terrible ordeal we’ve just been through. We all have our priorities, and while Rose’s is her stomach, right now mine are my daughter, my woman, and our unborn child. My family.
“Yes, sweetheart, in a minute. I think I can use one, too.” Or a stiff drink. Maybe there’s a flavor of ice cream that has booze in it. I see Quinn’s golden blonde head moving through the river of people between us, and I quicken my pace. I don’t intend to let her out of my sight again either.
“Quinn!” I shout.
She catches sight of me and hurries toward us. “Logan! Rose!” she calls. We jostle our way through the dissipating crowd and meet each other halfway. Everything around us seems to dim and fade away as she flies into mine and Rose’s waiting embrace. Nothing else exists except this moment; this joining of everything in my life that’s good and special and so very right—the only things that matter.
“Kin!” Rose squeals, overjoyed to see her favorite babysitter again, grabbing coils of Quinn’s golden hair.
“Oh, Rosebud! Look at you! I think you’ve grown… I’ve missed you so much!” Quinn says, ignoring the yanks on her tresses in favor of the kisses Rose is plastering to her cheeks.
“You’re the bravest, craziest girl ever, you know that?” I say, shaking my head in awe.
“Jolene’s in custody. She’ll be taken to hospital for evaluation,” Quinn says, smiling through Rose’s onslaught of kisses and hugs.
I nod in acknowledgment and lean in closer. “Is it true?” I ask, my voice an expectant whisper. “You’re pregnant?”
Quinn turns her attention from Rose and fixes me with her clear, wondrous blue gaze that I want to get lost in forever. I already have my answer just by looking into them, but she gives a small nod of her head. “I’m not so brave, but maybe I am crazy. Crazy about you and Rose. And that I’m going to have your baby.”
Epilogue
Quinn
A New Dawn
I’m glad it’s Christmas break. After a round of killer term exams, I can really use a few weeks off. I get tired easily, and Dad worries I’m not getting enough rest. He assures me that the first trimester of a pregnancy is the toughest, and I’ll be feeling much better soon. I’ll take his word on that, seeing as he’s the doctor in the house.
He didn’t freak out or play the disappointment card when I told him my news. Quite the opposite. Having a grandchild on the way seemed to lift his spirits and help him finally break through his lingering grief over my mother. While he wasn’t entirely surprised to find out that Logan is my baby’s father, it took him awhile to get used to the idea.
“There it is, sweetheart,” Logan says, pointing out the window of his truck. Firmly buckled in the booster seat between us, Rose claps her hands and kicks her feet in excitement. “There’s our new house.”
As we pull up the long drive, I’m impressed by both the size of the sprawling, Australian sheep station style house and the rambling three acres it occupies. It’s beautiful, surrounded by trees but with plenty of open space for the pony that Logan’s getting for Rose’s fifth birthday. I can’t wait to see her face when it arrives.
“That’s an awfully big house for such a little girl. What do you think, Rose?”
“I like it!” she says. “We can have a puppy now!”
Logan and I exchange exasperated glances. “I thought you wanted a pony,” he says.
Rose flashes her sweet but mischievous smile that always melts our hearts. “I want both!”
We all laugh as Logan parks in front of the house with its wide, wraparound porch and brightly painted door that welcomes us. The moving truck will be along in a few minutes, so we start unloading the few light boxes that we’ve brought with us.
“Don’t you be lifting anything heavy,” Logan warns me as he opens the tailgate. “Why don’t you take Rose inside and have a look around first?”
“Okay,” I say, taking Rose by the hand and leading her up the steps. Though it seems like only yesterday that I saw Logan and Rose for the first time, moving into the house next door, after everything that’s happened, Logan told me how he felt it best to find a new place. Somewhere secluded and quiet. I’ll miss having him and Rose so close by, but this country property is perfect for them, and only just outside the city. It’s an easy drive for him to take Rose to see her mother in the rehab facility each week.
I’m proud of him for keeping the promise I made to her—that she and Rose will get to know each other at last. Their first visits seem positive, as Logan says Jolene has been surprisingly patient and low-key with Rose. No mention of the “mom” word yet, as it’s way too soon for that, but so far they’re off to a good start. I also know it will be part of Logan’s healing process too; to begin to repair the scars of his difficult past.
After informing my dad about the baby, it also became too awkward for both he and Logan to continue to live next door to each other, and since I still have studies to finish, a move for Rose and Logan was really the right thing to do. I’m looking forward to graduation and will have my degree well before the baby is born in July. For now, I just want to help them get settled and enjoy the holidays.
“Wow,” I say, turning a three sixty inside the large, open living space on the main floor. The exposed log beams stretch across a high ceiling and angle down toward the full span of windows along one wall. The view is spectacular, the misty blues and grays of the Superstition Mountains looming in the distance.
“Wow!” Rose echoes, skipping around the room. “Where’s my room?” she asks.
“I’ll bet it’s upstairs,” I say, noting a lovely winding staircase leading to the upper floor. Trust a construction professional to appreciate fine craftsman
ship and design when he sees it. “Let’s check it out.” I take her by the hand and climb the curving staircase as Logan enters the house with an armload of boxes.
Rose runs into all of the four bedrooms, shouting “this one’s mine” in each one. I laugh and follow behind, enjoying our exploration of the second floor. There are two good-sized bedrooms on one side of the landing, and both a large master suite and a fourth, smaller, bedroom on the other. I gaze out the window of the master bedroom, taking in the equally fantastic views from this side of the house. They’re both going to love it here. I love it already and plan to visit on as many weekends as I can.
I wander into the separate bathroom, envious of the beautiful marble tile and the luxurious Jacuzzi bath. I’m not showing yet, but I’m sure I could use some soothing, fragrant soaks in that tub when I’m big as a whale in my eighth month. I’m also jealous of the huge walk-in closet in the suite. I’ve lived in the same house with my parents for as long as I can remember, and though Dad could afford bigger, he was never into the material trappings of success. Family was foremost, and we loved the modest home we had. None of the closets were even a quarter of the size of this one!
As I admire the space, Logan walks in with a few boxes of clothes and sets them on the floor. I can hear Rose singing a nursery rhyme in the small bedroom next door.
“I think she’s found her favorite room,” I say.
“We’ll see about that,” Logan says, spreading his arms wide. “What do you think? You like it?”
“I love it, Logan. It’s beautiful, it’s perfect.”
He smiles with pride and nods. “I think so, too.”
“Just one problem,” I say with a sigh.
“What’s that?” he says, looking crestfallen. “I thought you said it was perfect.”
“That closet.” I point at it casually. “It’s way too big. How’s a single dad who wears coveralls to work every day going to fill up a closet that size? It’s like a damn bank vault,” I tease.
Logan’s lips rise into a thoughtful pout, and they look so adorable I want to kiss them right here, right now. Who am I kidding? I want to kiss those lips for the rest of my life. I feel a joyful flutter in my core as if my baby knows it, too. He casts a critical, builder’s eye over the open, empty expanse of storage.
“Mmm, I don’t think so. We’re going to need that space.”
“What for?” I chuckle. “Don’t tell me you’re going to store your tools in there, too?”
“Well, now that you bring it up,” he says, digging into his jean pocket as if looking for a screwdriver. Instead, he pulls out a shiny key and holds it out in his palm for me to see. “Here’s a tool you’ll need.”
I stare at the polished piece of metal in his big, callused builder’s hand and I can feel my heart thudding in my chest. With so much going on, and me still in school, we haven’t really discussed any plans for the immediate future, but with this gesture, I know that he’s offering me much more than a key.
I look up to his face, that rugged, handsome face with the sexy smile that I’ve come to love, along with the rest of his kind soul and luscious, hard body that I’ve missed, and my doubts blow away like the tumbleweeds in the desert that surrounds us.
“Are you sure?” I ask. “I know we didn’t plan on getting pregnant. I’ve never asked for you to take responsibility or expect that you’d…”
“Shh,” he quiets me. “Quinn, honey. You don’t have to ask anything. I want this, I want you. I’ve had too many of the people I love leave me… I couldn’t bear it if I let you leave, too, because I’d be losing two people at the same time. You… and our baby. I can’t let that happen. Please. I love you, Quinn. Move in with us. Make us a family.”
I can barely speak. My throat seems to have swollen shut and my eyes are clouded with tears of joy that I can’t hold back. Somehow, I manage to get the words out as I leap into Logan’s open arms and hold him so tight I can hardly breathe. “Yes, yes. Absolutely yes.”
Our lips meet in a kiss so deep and passionate and filled with promise that it feels like our first, and I know it won’t be our last.
“Eeeewww,” Rose squeals. We both turn our heads to see her standing in the doorway, a mixture of delight and distaste on her face. “You’re kissing!”
“You bet we are, sweetheart. Quinn’s going to stay with us… forever. Would you like that?” Logan asks.
Her smile lights the room like a brilliant sunrise. “Yay!” she yells, and rockets across the floor toward us, wrapping her little arms around our legs. “But I get the little room,” she adds, pointing next door.
Logan laughs and shakes his head. “That’s okay, Quinn won’t be sleeping in that room. But I’m afraid you can’t have it either, Rosebud.” Rose looks up, her lip trembling in disappointment.
“Why not, Daddy?”
“Because your new baby brother or sister is going to live there very soon. What do you think about that?”
She looks curiously back and forth between Logan and me, considering the question. “I like it,” she announces with another grand smile. “We’ll have to get two ponies, then!”
“I thought you wanted puppies now,” I say, my tears turning to laughter.
“Puppies are nice,” she states. “But ponies are better.” She looks up at Logan. “Is Kin going to be my new brother’s or sister’s mommy?”
Logan tries to keep a straight face. “Yup.”
Rose’s little forehead knits up as though thinking hard in that serious, strangely adult way she has, then looks straight at me. “Can you be my mommy, too?”
My heart swells with love for this little girl, but can I really be her mommy? She has a mother that she’s just getting to know, and I don’t want to jeopardize that. But I know we can be a family. “I can if you want me to be, sweetheart. I’d love to.”
Logan leans down and scoops her up with one arm and draws me in with the other, wrapping us into one big family hug. The first of many.
THE END
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