by Renee Tyler
“I didn’t know you were going to be home. I thought you were staying at L’oriel’s,” Jason says nervously. I could hear Troy taking deep breaths, attempting to control his temper.
“What the fuck difference does it make if I was going to be here or not? Your ass has a room. That’s where you entertain. YOU DO NOT FUCK ON MY SOFA!” He pulls his hand away from mine and steps further into the room. “Wait. Your ass isn’t even wearing a fucking rubber. Are you fucking kidding me right now, Jay? It’s rubbers all over this fucking house. Hell. It’s some in the damn table that you’re fucking near. What your ass gonna do with a baby from some girl that’s trying to trap you because she thinks you have something? Or worst yet, catch something your dumb ass can’t get rid of!”
“I don’t need to use a condom with Mila,” Jason says almost in a mumble.
“Why the hell not?” Troy yelled.
“I just don’t,” Jason answers, sounding like a petulant teenager answering to his father. I don’t know if Jason tries to walk away, but whatever motion he makes causes Troy to walk further into the room.
“Nope. Jay. Why don’t you need a condom? Don’t say no dumb shit like she on birth control. We had that conversation a long time ago-”
“She’s pregnant,” Jason interrupts.
Everything instantly fell silent. There was complete radio silence. You could hear a pin drop. All movement halts. I want to go upstairs; this situation can’t get any more awkward. It’s turning into a catastrophe, but I can’t force my feet to move. Besides, I don’t know if Jason or his friend has covered up yet. With Troy’s loft floor plan, the only way I can make it to the stairs without getting another peek at Jason’s goods is to walk sideways so that my back can remain towards them. I don’t want to look odd at this already awkward moment. I also don’t want to feel like I’m invading on what had become a family moment. It also seems weird to ask to leave. I’ve really fallen into a precarious situation.
“Pregnant,” I heard Troy finally repeat. It was if someone had knocked the wind out of him. He repeats the word breathy, his voice lace with confusion. “You’re still in school, Jason. You barely work at the bar. You’re running around slinging your dick like you got a pot to piss in, and a window to through it out of. Jay? After all the conversations we had.” Troy finally stepped back into my view. “Baby. You mind waiting upstairs for me?” he calmly asks, unlike the way he sounded seconds before. “Mila, can you wait on Jay in his room?” he asks with his tone full of malice. I nod my head. I’m finally given the permission I want to turn and make my way to the stairs. I breathe a sigh of relief Jason and the girl who was obviously Mila are dressed. Now that she was standing and wasn’t bent over the couch, I can tell she’s very pregnant. Her stomach is round under her shirt. I don’t stare long; I immediately make my way to the stairs. Now that I’m away, I want to hear how Troy deals with his brother. It’s amazing to me how he can be so paternal. He often jokes around with his brothers. However, I’ve never seen him become the disciplinarian. When Troy figures Mila and I have gotten to our designated areas, he begins to speak. I’m positive Mila’s somewhere eavesdropping as well.
“Didn’t I tell you what she told her girl about wanting to get pregnant by you, or anybody for that matter? Why would you still have unprotected sex with someone you know was trying to trap you? What about the other shit, Jay? Has she stopped that habit? Or even the other shit that she’s into? Jay, you know about this girl. I’ve told you about her.” He pauses for a moment. “We talked about disposing condoms and everything, Jay. How you let this happen? Did you do this on purpose? You want to be with her? I’ve warned you about her so many times.”
“She doesn’t do that anymore. I didn’t do it on purpose, Troy. I slipped up and didn’t strap up a couple of times,” Jason finally cut in.
“How Jay, when we’ve talked about females auditioning for the role of baby momma to get ahead? You know what she’s into. Jay, if you’re not strapping up, you’re trying to get that girl pregnant—simple. Do you know if it’s yours?”
“Troy. How can you ask me something like that? What? You think I’d still be messing with her if I didn’t know if the baby was mine?”
“Well how do you know, Jay? Huh? Cause as far as I knew, you two weren’t together like that. So if you weren’t together as a couple, how do you know she wasn’t seeing anyone else?”
Their voices came closer, so I pressed my body further into the wall leading into the hallway.
“I don’t know, but the baby’s due date adds up to when I know I didn’t use a rubber.”
“You know if that baby’s yours, you’re taking full responsibility. As a matter of fact, you about to start working at the bar full-time. With a schedule, and you starting at the bottom as a busboy. You may as well get you a pair of black slacks and get the button down with the logo. Oh, and you staying in school and you will finish that degree.”
“I know that already. You think I wouldn’t look out for my kid? I don’t even know who my dad is. I would never leave my seed out there…”
“You damn right you’re not leaving your seed out there. I will not tolerate it. You will step up and be a father, and take full responsibility…”
I began to creep back into the bedroom. I’d heard enough. I believe Troy will definitely make sure his brother takes care of his child. That thought makes me think of the man Troy will be to his own children. In the beginning, I spent a lot time comparing Troy to Shane, trying to see if I could notice any similarities that would cause me to say this relationship can end just as bad as my marriage, or become toxic. However, comparing the two of them is like comparing apples to oranges.
Shane’s friends barely took good care of their children. I never hear him tell Chucky or Dorian they need to step up, or even talk about how Dorian somehow evades paying child support. I have heard him make excuses, saying the women they have children with are hoes and purposely got pregnant hoping to hook his boys. Despite what Troy has learned or doesn’t like about Mila, he still told his brother that he expects him to take responsibility for his child. That to me speaks so much to the man that he is. I think I love him more at this moment than I did back in the basement on the couch.
Since I’m going to spend the night after all, I go into his drawer to get one of his t-shirts and see the drawer is filled with slips. My shoulders slump and my heart plummets. Did he have some girl here in my absence and forgot to have her things removed? I move the garments around in the drawer and notice they all still have tags on them.
“I hope you like them,” I hear from behind me.
I turn to see Troy standing there looking sexy as ever, as well as defeated. Awe, baby. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist, and bury my head in his chest. I inhale his earthy scent that I love as I listen to the steady beat of his heart against my ear. He pulls me into him tighter and kisses the top of my head. We stand in that embrace for a moment before he slightly pulls away.
“I bought them for you last week, along with some other clothes and underwear when I thought I could entice you to spend the night then, but you declined my offer. So since you’re in the drawer, is it safe to say that you’re staying the night?”
I nodded my head. “Yes. I’m spending the night. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay, just disappointed in Jason. Then myself, because maybe I spoiled him too much.”
I pull my arms around him tighter. He’s an amazing brother and father figure to his brothers. To be young himself, he takes great care of his brothers, better than I’d ever seen a man before.
Shane’s own father worked all the time and made very little time for him and his brothers. I understood that he wanted to be a great provider. However, he didn’t provide much else. Shane’s mother spent all the time with her sons.
Troy worked hard and made it a point to spend just as much time with his brothers. He allows Derrick to work with him in the studio as an engineer, and pays him. He allow
s Jason to work in his club. Though I don’t think Jason takes the opportunity as serious as Derrick takes his, he still provides the opportunity. He also takes them on trips and broadens their horizons. He provides a stable environment and encourages them to get an education. Though he can just give them jobs and allow them to just work in the industry that’s sure to provide them with lucrative careers, he wants them to also be well educated. I can tell from his argument with Jason he’s spoken to them about sex, girls, and protecting themselves.
He’s done more for his brothers than I’d seen any male. I didn’t have any strong male figures in my life. My uncles have children, but they don’t take care of any of them. My grandmother has them over frequently, even though my uncles don’t come around much. She says she’ll never not be in her grandchildren’s lives. She even sends money and cards to my Aunt Rochelle’s children, though my aunt has never let them come to visit. My grandfather never tried to give us any fatherly advice. He was just always there. He couldn’t give us much, because he has another family, but he did give us what he could. However, as far as being a real presence in our lives, he’s never been that.
“Troy, you are a great big brother. I’ve never seen a man give so much to the people around him. You’re a great role model for your brothers. You’re also a great provider and paternal figure.”
He was silent for a long moment. “Come take a bath with me.” After he kisses me on the top of my head again, he moves away and goes into the bathroom; after a beat, I hear water running in the tub.
I strip down to my panties and bra, and find Troy in the bathroom in his boxers. He motions for me to get into the tub. I remove my panties, bra, get in, and slide all the way to the back. I want to comfort him, so I motion for him to sit between my legs. I can see he’s still distracted by the news of what he feels is his brothers’ irresponsible behavior. After staring at me for a moment, he finally pulls his boxers off. I signal for him to sit between my legs. He offers me a dimpled smirk and takes position between my thighs. Once he’s comfortable, I wrap my legs around the tops of his thighs; then I pull his torso into mine, holding him until our bodies become too warm. We don’t speak. I allow him the time to mull over what he’s just learned. I understand the responsibility he’s taken on raising his brothers. I can gather that he feels he’s failed, just as a parent that sees their child making poor decisions.
I grab the sponge and begin to pour water over his strong shoulders and powerful chest. I wash his upper body and ask him to stand so I can work on his lower half. My mouth waters when my eyes landed on his long, thick appendage that’s resting along his solid columnar thighs. This man is working with a serious tool; even flaccid, it rests mid-thigh.
When I look up and see that his eyes that normally hold so much salaciousness when I’m anywhere near his rod are a million miles away, I decide to go ahead and wash him and keep it moving. He’s distracted, but I’m horny. I press my thighs together several times to ease the painful throbbing. I’m so ravenous that he can just brush his finger over my throbbing clit and I’ll come apart. I don’t know how I held it together. Somehow, I make it through our bath without jumping on his pole. Once we were out of the tub and dressed for bed, I toss and turn trying to find comfort in Troy’s bed. Normally, I’d fall asleep instantly. However, the aching between my legs won’t allow me to immediately fall asleep. I want to reach out and touch Troy. I want him to wake up. I hear him snoring softly, so I decide to let him sleep. Some time later, rest finally finds me.
Troy’s still asleep when I wake, wash my face, brush my teeth, and make my way downstairs. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I hear Kim and her crew moving bags, pans, and supplies around the kitchen. I then hear Grum-Grum giving orders. When I step into the kitchen, the two smile up at me and the kids ran to give me a hug. After Grum has issued out me and Kim’s orders, we begin the task of prepping Thanksgiving dinner.
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I’d never enjoyed myself so much on the holidays. I’d never had this much family around me. Kids ran around, thunderous male voices from the dining room echoed throughout the house, and women shared stories and pictures as they sat around. Charity and Marcus were in the mix too. I had never spent a Thanksgiving with so much laughter. I’d held babies, played with kids, danced, and talked. After dinner was prayed over and served, everyone was sated and looking for a quiet corner. The kids were now in the theater room watching movies. The boisterous adults were now quietly watching television or lounging. The teenagers had their faces buried in their phones.
Troy mentioned he has an enclosed heated pool, and Charity and Marcus couldn’t wait to swim, so we’d decided we were going to swim in the heated pool. I couldn’t wait to get into Troy’s hot tub. I’d been on my feet since the crack of dawn, and was looking forward to relaxing.
I hadn’t had a moment to talk with Troy to see how he was feeling. He and Jason had been avoiding each other, each barely mumbling two words when in each other’s presence. Mila was also in attendance with her round belly on display. I learn that she’s six months and having a girl. Mila’s a very pretty girl with Asian-like features, large slanted eyes, full lips, and long eyelashes. With silky almond-colored skin and long wavy hair, I can see why Jason is physically attracted to her. Even with her baby bump, you can surmise that she’s very shapely. I didn’t get the opportunity to speak with her long. She was whisked away with questions of her pregnancy, and everyone wanting to see ultrasound pictures. Everyone seems accepting, with the exception of Troy. He didn’t trust her, and I can tell she knows it. Troy ignoring her obviously agitates her. She didn’t like that he was being standoffish with her. Her eyes follow him all around, looking for his acceptance, while Jason sits brooding like an angry teenager at his brother’s rejection.
I, on the other hand, try to keep my eyes on Troy. I can’t make direct eye contact with Jason. After seeing what he’s working with, it feels as if I saw my own little brother’s intimate parts. When Troy left to put on his swim trunks, I put the dishes away and turn off the chafer burners. I look up and notice Jason walking in my direction. I hurry from the kitchen and decide to head upstairs, suddenly ready to put on my bikini and join Marcus and Charity in the hot tub. On my way to Troy’s room, I halt when I hear Troy having a conversation with his grandmother.
“Troy. You can’t control everything all the time.”
“I know Grum, but this girl told someone that I know that she was looking for a meal ticket. When I confronted her about it then, she didn’t deny it. She’s using him. I should have been put an end to their relationship.”
“How were you going to do that? Jason is grown, Troy. He’s twenty-one. You’ve said your peace. Now you have to let him live. He’s going to have to live with his own decisions. The truth is you can’t always protect him Troy; life has to teach him his own lessons.”
“But Grum, this girl has a reckless past, and possible present; he’s so much like her he doesn’t even realize it. So trusting to a fault, addicted to the fast life. Only interested in hanging out with the fast crowd. That’s how she ended up like she is. Trusting my father and fascinated by his lifestyle.”
“You know I know, baby. And that girl’s past or present obviously doesn’t mean anything to Jason. You have to trust that you’ve instilled some good things in Jason. Troy, I know I missed some things with Tracey. I did the best I knew how. That’s all any of us can do. Taking care of people doesn’t come with instructions. Whether you want to accept it or not, your brother and Mila are having a baby. Whatever may come of this, that baby is a blessing. I believe you’ve taught your brother enough for him to do the right thing without getting sucked into anything else.”
“I hope so, Grum.”
I make shuffling noises on the stairs to alert them as I round the corner. Troy and his grandmother are separating after an embrace. His grandmother affectionately rubs his cheek.
“Excuse me,” I say. I feel as if I’m further imposing. Grum turns t
owards me smiling.
“Hey, L’oriel. I want to thank you for all your help today and yesterday. Your macaroni and dressing rivaled my own,” Grum says as she pulls me into a hug. “You are such a sweetheart,” she says as she places a kiss on my cheek. “I’m going to go join my sisters at the table for a couple of rounds of spades.” She walks in the opposite direction. She’s either taking the elevator or the other set of stairs.
I turn towards Troy and notice he’s in swim trunks that hang low on his hips. He doesn’t have on a shirt, displaying his chiseled chest, stomach, and the smooth fine hairs that lead into his black trunks.
“I was coming to put on my bikini,” I say, not really knowing what to say after what I just overheard. Troy didn’t reveal anything to me in regards to his brother and Mila’s relationship but from my eavesdropping, I was able to figure out Troy didn’t trust her, and she obviously had done little to prove she’s deserving of trust from Troy or Jason. However, I feel Troy should take his grandmother’s advice. I know from experience that you can’t allow calculating and manipulative people feel that their plan of divide and conquer is working.
“You need help tying your bikini?” he smiles, displaying his dimples. Troy’s dimples are almost always present, so much so I find it odd that they haven’t made much of an appearance today. They don’t just make appearances when he’s smiling. They’re visible with certain words, when he smirks, and when he bites his bottom lip. My baby hasn’t been in a good mood.
“I got it. I’ll meet you downstairs,” I say, attempting to smolder the fire burning in my belly. He pulls his bottom lip into his mouth. I have to fight hard not to swoon. Whew. That man and those dimples.