by T. L Smith
“Five men in the house, all circled around him, but he knew I was there for him,” he says, opening the door and stepping out. He opens Mika’s door and Mika steps out, waving Chung’s hand away so he can’t help him. I watch as he walks to the stairs. He looks back to me still in the driver’s seat, not moving. He cocks his head, I don’t like the look on his face. It makes me nervous, like he expects me to run to his arms and comfort him, be the lost and relieved girlfriend which I clearly am not. I try not to think about it when I start the car and push the pedal, driving off, only looking back once when I reach the end of the driveway. I see him standing there, covered in dried blood watching me leave.
*****
I drive aimlessly unsure where I should go when I come to a stop in front of my parents’ home. My father opens the front door after I’d been sitting in the car for a while. He walks out, opens the car door and sits next to me. Neither of us says a word, just sit and take in the silence.
“Come inside, you look tired,” he says, leaning over and pulling me into a hug. I accept it readily and lean into him. My arms feel like they should be wrapped around him, but they aren’t. I’m not good with hugs or any kind of affection, actually. Whenever I have to hug someone, it’s always a forced reaction, never because it’s something I want to do.
I get out and follow him up the stairs. My sister is there dressed in all black, which doesn’t surprise me. She makes a face and walks off. I look for my mother, who’s nowhere in sight. I’m relieved because I really don’t want to deal with her.
“When’s Jagger back?” my father asks, taking a seat in his chair. I sit on the couch across from him and pull my legs up, tucking them under my ass.
“Tomorrow, he has work to do tonight.”
He left me a message, though, telling me he’s knee deep in contracts for Zeke and hasn’t had time to do anything. I was lucky to get a call or message.
“She isn’t here,” my father says when I look around, still wondering when she’ll turn up. My head swings to him when those words leave his mouth. She’s always home but usually drunk by this time.
“Where is she?” I ask.
“She told me that night…she told me what she used to do,” he nearly whispers, pain slicing through his words. I don’t say anything. What is there to say? I won’t defend her anymore.
“I told her I couldn’t be with a woman that intentionally hurts those I love. I love your mother, but I love you as well. Your welfare comes first, no matter what. I know you’re older now and that you don’t need me to protect you. I’m too late for that. I worked too much, I should’ve seen.” His voice cracks again. He was always away, it was his job. I never hated him for it, but I used to count down the days for him till he returned home. Not just because I missed him, but because I knew the days he was there, I wouldn’t be hurt.
“Its fine,” I lie.
“It’s not. She’s in rehab, has been since that night. I now understand your bond with Jagger. I thought it was just that you were twins, but it’s more than that isn’t it?” I nod my head. He used to clean me up after, used to find me in the dark closet and break me free.
“He will always be my number one person, no matter what,” I tell him.
“I know and a part of me is happy about that. A part of me also screams that it should have been your mother or me, that’s our role. We are the people you should run to.” His head drops and I see a single tear roll down his cheek. It’s weird, my father is a strong man and I’ve never seen him cry.
“She doesn’t hate you, I want you to know that.”
I look at him in complete disbelief. Surely he can’t believe that?
“You’re so much like her, it scared her. She didn’t want you to turn into her.”
“That’s no excuse.”
“I would never give it justification, no. But that’s what she told me today when I visited her. She wants me to ask you if you’d consider visiting her. It’s a part of her healing process.”
I shake my head—nope, not happening.
“I would never force you to,” he says, standing up. He leans down and kisses my head and walks to the kitchen. I stand and walk the stairs one by one to my room and I notice Jessa standing at the top of the stairs. She looks at me, and I realize it’s been a long time since I’ve seen her wear anything but black.
“Why do you dress like that?” I ask. She looks at me for a while before she answers.
“I thought the attention would be off you if I did. The focus of her wrath would fall to me, not you.” She turns and walks into her room and slams the door. Looking at her closed door, I see her in an entirely different way.
It didn’t work, her wrath was always going to be on me.
My bed is soft when I land on it. Grabbing my phone, I check for any calls or messages, thinking Mika would be demanding me back by now, but there’s nothing. I call Jagger and he answers on the second ring.
“Sis,” he answers.
“Do you know why Jessa dresses in all black and wears all black makeup?” I ask. He pauses for a long time just breathing into the phone.
“Yes,” he finally answers.
“Why?”
“She saw it one night, then saw you when I pulled you from the closet. Ever since then she dresses in nothing but black.”
“She was trying to take the attention from me?”
“Yes.”
“This is so fucked up,” I mutter.
“Sure is.”
“You know Mom’s in rehab?”
“Yes, Dad called yesterday and told me. Couldn’t talk long as I was in a meeting, but I got the gist of it.”
“She wants to see me, to help her recovery.”
He scoffs into the phone.
“I know,” I say in response to his unspoken words.
“So, want to know what happened to me today?” He changes the subject completely.
“Do I want to know?”
“Probably not, but I’m going to tell you anyway.” He laughs. “I may or may not have been checking out Bexley’s fine ass when she got out of the pool, and Zeke may or may not have given me a black eye for that little act.”
I laugh and it feels good. Jagger just can’t help himself.
“You know how he is. Why would you even look at her with him in the vicinity?”
“She has one fine ass. It’s round, plump, but not overly large. Just fucking perfect. Fuck! Now I need pussy.”
“You have problems. Go…get laid and get off the phone with me, you sick prick,” I say, ending the call. I hear his laughter hit full force just as I hit END.
Chapter 22
The house is empty when I wake. My body is hot and feels restrained to the bed. I look down and notice tattooed arms, ones I recognize from mornings waking up with those hands pinning me to the bed. I lift one and he moans, I let it drop thinking I’m hurting him.
“Why are you in my bed?” I ask, knowing he’s awake, his breathing now even.
“I looked for you. Jagger called and told me where you were.”
“Fucker!” I swear. “I need to get up.” His legs untangle from mine, slower movements than ever before, his hand lifts and I manage to stand. I look down at him in my small bed. It hardly fits both of us. His chest is covered with bruises and his face is black and blue, but he’s still so fucking fuckable.
“How did you manage to sleep in this bed with me?” I ask, waving my hand around his bruised body. He looks down, then his chocolate eyes meet mine.
“I didn’t till ten minutes ago. It was more dangerous in this bed than being with those men who had me captured.” He cracks a joke, but it’s probably true. With his body that sore, sleeping in a bed next to me would have been painful. I walk away to the shower, locking the door when I enter. He keeps pushing his way into my life, in every aspect and every way possible, even when I try to escape. It’s confusing and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling. I’ve never been i
n a real relationship, wouldn’t know the first thing about them. I fuck, it’s what I’m good at, what I’ve been good at since I was fifteen years old.
I walk back into the room to see him asleep, his body taking up all of my bed. I stand there admiring him, the curves lining each of his abs and the V that dips just under his boxers. No hair on his chest, arms covered in colorful ink. I hear the door open downstairs and turn and shut the bedroom door, leaving him to sleep. When I walk downstairs, I see a blonde girl with a blue dress standing in the kitchen. I gasp when she turns around. Jessa has no makeup on, no black lining her face and she’s breathtakingly beautiful. She smiles at me, a pure, beautiful smile not one that’s forced.
“You…you’ve changed,” I stutter the words out. She nods her head and looks to the stairs.
“Hottie still up there?” She points to my room and it takes me a minute to realize she’s talking about Mika.
I nod. “You let him in?”
“Yep.”
“Why?”
“He seemed real desperate and he’s hot, like holy shit hot. Plus, he looked about ready to fall on the floor. He pointed to your room and I haven’t seen him since.”
“Dad knows?” Dad never allowed us to have boys in the house. Even when I was over eighteen, no man was permitted to sleep in the same bed as his daughter.
“Yep, he laughed when hottie dragged himself up the stairs.”
“That man has it bad,” my father’s voice booms from behind me. I spin to see him smiling, too.
“Why are you both smiling?” I look from Jessa to my father.
“You’ve never had a boyfriend before. God, I’ve had more than you.”
“That’s true,” my father chimes in.
“He’s not my boyfriend.” I shake my head.
“Is too…” Jessa says.
“Is not…”
“Is too…”
“Is…fuck! Why am I arguing with you over this? He’s my boss, nothing more.”
“Mmhmm, that’s why he can’t sleep if you’re not next to him. Even though that would be crazy, considering he’s bruised and knows how you sleep. Hell, I wouldn’t even sleep in the same room as you,” Jessa says, picking up an apple and biting into the crisp outer skin.
My father walks away laughing, but Jessa stands there chewing on her apple, taking bite after bite and looking at me through her long lashes.
“What am I supposed to do?”
“You could try dating,” she suggests. “Though, considering you sleep in the same bed there really is no reason for that.” She shrugs her shoulders.
“What normally happens?” I ask and she spits a small piece of her apple out when she laughs hard.
“A man usually asks the girl out. Sometimes they kiss on the first date, sometimes they don’t. If they like each other, there’s a second date, then a third. By the third, most have sex and things get a bit more serious. They date for a few months, alternating between homes and having lots of sex. Then you usually move in together, have babies, get married…bada bing, bada bang, tada!” She uses her hand to emphasize the last part.
“That’s just silly, we’ve already fucked. He thinks I live with him but I don’t. He sleeps in the same bed with me every night. We haven’t dated. Oh, and he’s been following me for over a year.”
She studies me for a second. “Okay, so now have some babies.”
“Jessa!” I scream at her in frustration. “I don’t do that whole dating-relationship thing.”
“Hence the reason you work together, neither does he. He just goes into stalker mode.”
“Fuck off!” I wave my hand at her and walk away. Why did I even ask for her advice? That’s absolutely crazy.
“Don’t forget the, I love you’s!” she yells as I walk back up the stairs to my room.
“Don’t forget I know where you sleep!” I yell back, then realize I shouldn’t have yelled because I’ve probably woken Mika.
He’s sitting on the edge of the bed when I walk in, his eyes cast downward. “I want you to come home with me,” he says, slowly lifting his eyes to me. I don’t say anything, just stare at him. He isn’t asking, but he isn’t telling me either.
“I don’t know if that’s what I want.”
“You're just scared, don’t be,” he says standing and I see him wince when he straightens his stance. I take a step back, not realizing I do when he stops and looks down. He grabs his clothes and silently dresses. When he’s dressed, he walks past me and his hand touches mine slightly, just a wisp of a touch.
“Come back to me,” he says, then walks out.
Chapter 23
I end up at Dominic’s that night, confused and not knowing what I’m going to do. Sarena lets me in and I follow her to her room. She sits on the bed and pulls the covers up and watches me.
“You’re confused?” she asks. I nod my head. “Girls like us aren’t normal, Aria. We’re twisted, we have a twisted perception of love, life, and people. It’s not bad, it’s just the way we’re wired. We’ve been broken, but we fix ourselves in the only way we know how to by closing ourselves off or inflicting pain on others. We are unique and we’re hard to love.” Her eyes bore into mine. She must be talking from experience.
“Have you been in love?” I ask.
“My version of love, yes. What others call love, I guess not.”
“I don’t think I’m in love per se, I haven’t known him long enough to be in love. But my head is all messed up, it makes me angry.”
“Why?”
“He wants me to stop working. I love what I do and I’m good at it. He wants to take that part of me away. I don’t know him. Yes, I know pieces of him, but I don’t really know him. Does that make sense?”
“What do you know about him?”
“He’s powerful. I know everything he does for work. I know he likes to keep me close and that he stops me from having nightmares. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, I want to do follow-ups today,” I say, referring to the Thralls that have gone to other homes.
“Okay, let me get dressed, Dominic should be in the room by now,” she says standing and dropping her nightgown to the floor, then walking past me naked. I’m surprised she knows where he’d be. Yes, they live together, but she’s very private when it comes to him. She seems to know where and when he will be around.
Dominic is exactly where she said he’d be, his head is buried down while he works away in the books. I sit next to him and swing in my chair back and forth.
“Stop,” he orders and I swing around faster. “Aria, stop acting like a child.” I make a face at him and he drops his pen and leans back in his seat to watch me.
“What are you doing today?”
“I’ve decided to do two surprise visits today.” He nods his head and then looks back up at me. “Which two?”
“My first and the one I did in Los Angeles. The owner has moved here. I want to see my Thrall, I don’t particularly trust that woman.” He nods his head in understanding, then gives me a gun. I look at it, then back to him, he shrugs his shoulders and I get up to leave. He goes back to his paperwork.
“Have you been in a relationship before, Dominic?” I ask at the door, his back still to me when he answers.
“No.”
“But you want to?” I ask.
“Don’t go thinking you know what I want, Aria. You may see things, but not all you see is the truth.” I walk out, not saying anything more to him.
*****
I arrive at a large, white house. This was my first Thrall and my first sale. The one that got me hooked. I haven’t had the time to see him in over a year. The lady that purchased him probably thinks I’ll never come. She knew about surprise visits, but a year is a long time, especially considering how busy I’ve been. I have made enough money this year to never have to work another day in my life. I’ve hardly spent a cent of it, apart from my car.
Before I raise my hand to knock on the door, it swings open with a smi
ling Cindy standing there. She looks the same as she did the first time I saw her over a year ago. Dressed impeccably and seemingly happy to see me, she waves me inside. Houses like this would usually have me hanging my mouth open, but I don’t act impressed by their fancy homes anymore. The house has gold trimmings, gold chandeliers, it’s absolutely beautiful. I’ve seen a lot of houses lately that blow my mind away, so as far as I am concerned it’s just another wealthy person’s home.
“Aria, it’s been too long,” she says, settling into a chair in her sitting room while a maid comes out with cups of tea. I nod at her and she takes a sip of her drink while I leave mine on the table waiting for her to finish.
“Are the rules being followed?”
She places her drink softly on the table and smiles at me. “Oh yes. He’s a treat. Couldn’t have picked better.” She blushes and I know what she’s referring to.
“I’d like to see him now, please.” I stand and she nods her head to follow her to the back of her house. She walks down a set of stairs and opens the door. My first Thrall lies on the bed, watching a movie and eating popcorn. His sandy hair looks exactly the same, he’s been kept well.
He immediately stands at the sight of me. Looking me over, he then drops his eyes to the ground. Cindy chuckles and tells him to sit and I ask her to leave. She does with a backward glance to her Thrall. He stays seated as I walk closer. I step in front of him, but his eyes stay glued to the ground.
“I don’t want to go back, Master, I like it here,” he says just above a whisper. I reach my hand out and place it on his shoulder. He flinches, expecting pain, but I just tap him.
“Good.” I lean down and kiss his cheek. He stays still as a rock and I walk out, not saying goodbye to Cindy as I head to the next house.
Chapter 24
She was going to be harder, I knew this. She wasn’t impressed when we first told her I was going to do drop in visits. I’m expecting the worse when I knock on her door. When she answers, her face scrunches up in disdain. She eyes my clothes and shakes her head. Her hair is high, like she’s just walked out of the eighties, her clothes are pressed and perfect. Her hands are covered in jewels as if she has to wear it all or it’s all going to disappear.