by Scott, Lisa
“I can pass these out on New Year’s without breaking a sweat.” Just so long as I don’t eat them all …
“I’m not so worried about the work. We can get you a chair and set you up real nice.” He blew out a breath and sat across from her. “It’s going to be a tough night with the traffic light. A lot of memories. A lot of attention probably from well-meaning busybodies. We’ve got our share of them in Willowdale.”
“I know.” Jeanne sank onto her stool. “I can handle it. It’s a good thing. The town will be safer.”
Brad wouldn’t look at her. “It’s going to be emotional. Real emotional. I don’t know if I can handle seeing you cry.”
So this was about his feelings, not hers. “Then don’t stand next to me. But I’m going to be there. To remember.”
He laughed softly. “And here I just want to forget.”
And once upon a time, we both wanted the same things, she thought. She rubbed her belly. Except for this, of course.
“I’ll be there tomorrow. And I’ll be fine.”
NEW YEAR’S EVE was going to wrap up the year on a cold, snowy note. On a night when everyone was trying so hard to be festive and chipper, the weather sure wasn’t cooperating for the outdoor bash along Main Street. The road was blocked off with booths and tents set up for the party and the hundreds of revelers. The wind whipped up swirls of snow as Jeanne passed out cups of salted caramel hot chocolate to long lines of people, many of them repeat customers. Their state representative snatched another Styrofoam cup.
“Is that your fourth one?” Jeanne asked.
“No, couldn’t be,” he said with a smile, snagging one more as he walked away. “I just may have to hire you guys next time we have a town hall meeting in Whitesville.”
Jeanne forced a smile. She didn’t have the heart to tell him Elegant Eats wouldn’t be in business by then. “You be sure to give us a call.”
He tipped his hat and walked off.
Jeanne had promised Brad she wouldn’t let him see her cry, and she wasn’t going to start now. But she wasn’t sure what she was going to do once they closed up shop. Maybe they’d take her back at the residential center.
Kate and Teague walked up with little Lizzy bundled in their arms. “You’re gonna keep the baby out ’til midnight?” Jeanne asked.
“Nah, Teague will take her home. I want to be here with you tonight,” Kate said. “Tonya’s coming, too.”
Jeanne faked a big smile. “Thanks.” Her lip wobbled a bit, so she made a show of inspecting the giant dispenser of hot chocolate. “You guys go check out the wagon rides. Those Clydesdales are enormous.”
“Will do. And Teague wants to roast some s’mores for Lizzy,” Kate said. “You guys put together a great party. Everyone’s talking about what a nice job you’ve done here. I’ll catch up with you toward midnight.”
Jeanne was busy passing out candy cane crumble cookies and sweet potato praline cupcakes, pretending she didn’t notice everyone’s gaze traveling to her belly. She hadn’t seen lots of the folks in town for a while, but no doubt word had gotten around that she was pregnant with Brad’s baby. The news must’ve inspired hours of snickers and gossip.
Pansy Parker wandered over and grabbed two cups of cocoa. She jerked her chin at Jeanne’s midsection. “You picked out a name yet?”
“I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.”
“I meant the last name. Will it be Clark or Larsen?”
Jeanne was speechless. She hadn’t even thought about the last name. She remembered her big sister Gracie’s advice— “When you’ve got nothing to say, give ’em a great big smile.” Jeanne grinned so hard it hurt. “Pansy, have you tried our hazelnut popcorn balls?”
Brad came up behind her and handed Pansy a plate of cookies. “That should keep you busy eating for a while, instead of sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”
Pansy planted her fists on her hips instead of grabbing the cookies. “You’d know about sticking things where they don’t belong, now wouldn’t you? You stuck this girl real good.”
Jeanne felt a stab to her gut, or was that a kick from the baby?
If Pansy had been a man, she’d be flat on her back, and Brad would be shaking out his fist. But he just ignored Pansy and passed a few cups of cocoa to the group of teenagers next to her. “Jeanne, I’ve got this covered if you want to take off.”
“Brad Larsen, I told you I’m staying. I’m fine. I can handle the likes of Pansy Parker.” It was a good question, though. Rubbing her hands together, she asked, “Do you want the baby to be named Larsen?”
He set down his cup. “Well now, that’s up to you. Whatever you want.”
There was no sense arguing anymore. Brad was going to distance himself from this baby however he could.
She stood up—the effort taking almost five minutes—and went back to the prep tent pretending they needed more s’mores. Truth was, it hurt too much to be around Brad. Heck, even the baby acted up when he was around, like the little kiddo knew its father. Too bad it never would.
It was ten-thirty, and a few news crews from Asheville were on the scene to do live reports for the eleven o’clock news about the new traffic light. A tall, skinny brunette found Jeanne hiding in the tent, arranging the remaining cookies. Heck, everyone looked skinny to her these days.
“Are you Jeanne Clark?”
Jeanne knew where this was going. “I’m not interested in doing an interview about the traffic light.”
“It’s gotta be a tough night. And you’re business partners with Brad Larsen? The son of the woman who killed your parents?”
Jeanne closed her eyes and silently counted to ten. Then she faced the woman. “Yep, and after all these years, we just don’t have much to say.”
“Could be real good for your business. Makes an interesting feature piece, the two of you working together now.”
“We’ll manage without. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got work to do.”
The reporter left, and Jeanne stood up then sat down again. All this standing had sent stabs of pain through her lower back. If she were smart, she’d scoot home and call it a night. But she didn’t want to miss the ceremony. If she didn’t show up, Brad would think it was too painful for her and probably go on a month-long guilt trip over what his mama had done.
After passing out the last of their cookies and brewing up another batch of hot chocolate, Jeanne peered up at the moon. She wondered if her parents were looking down on the festivities tonight. And what would they have thought of her having a baby? They would have been fantastic grandparents. Her father would have shown his grandchild—boy or girl—how to hunt and fish. Mama would have her little one making homemade bread by the time the child was two.
Jeanne had so many fond memories of her own grandparents—picking peaches and making preserves, then gobbling them up straight out of the jar before they even had a chance to be used for tarts or sandwiches. Eating apples straight off the tree and listening to Grandpa’s fiddle music after dinner. She and her sisters would swing each ’round and ’round until they got dizzy and tumbled to the ground.
But her baby wouldn’t have any grandparents.
Jeanne let out a long sigh. No grandparents. A father who didn’t want to be involved. It’d be selfish to keep this child for herself. She probably wouldn’t even have a job in a few weeks. She’d have to get information on adoption agencies first thing after the New Year.
Tonya and Kate popped into the tent.
“You sure you want to be here for the traffic light unveiling?” Tonya asked. “I can take you home. It’s late and you look beat. The dang thing will be hanging there tomorrow, you can check it out then.”
“Nah, it’s just half an hour from now. I’ve got my feet up. I’m taking a break. I’ll meet you guys out there.”
Ten minutes before midnight, she figured she’d better make her way outside. She’d never seen so much of Willowdale’s population in one place. A few people reached f
or her hand as she made her way through the crowd. Rita from the Jelly Jar hugged her best she could with Jeanne’s great big baby belly between them. Her throat felt thick as people patted her back and gave her supportive smiles.
She was grateful to spot Kate and Tonya waving her their way. Her sister Gracie wasn’t able to make the trip to town for the ceremony, and Becca didn’t want to come. Didn’t even want to discuss it. Becca barely remembered their parents.
Jeanne looked for Brad but couldn’t find him, which was just as well. She shuffled over to the girls and rubbed her belly, which tightened with every step.
Jeanne thought back to last New Year’s Eve, how Brad had slid his hand across her belly—her totally flat belly. What a difference a year makes, she thought. She forced a big smile for the girls.
“You’re holding up well.” Kate squeezed Jeanne’s shoulder.
Jeanne took a shuddering breath and nodded. How she wished she was leaning up against Brad. He was the only one here who could know how she was feeling.
The officials were gathered at the intersection where the new light hung from a wire stretched across the street attached to two poles. A white cloth covered it, and it swayed in the breeze like a ghost.
The minutes were ticking down, and Jeanne’s heart picked up its pace. She tried her best to keep her memories tamped down because she couldn’t—wouldn’t—let herself break down tonight.
Willowdale’s mayor approached the podium set up in the middle of Main Street. He tapped the microphone and cleared his throat.
“Thank you all for joining us tonight as we ring in a new year and a new era for Willowdale. With the unveiling of our first ever stoplight, we can ensure safer streets for our residents. We ask you to pause for a moment to remember the lives lost here so many years ago. We ask you to remember Debra and Peter Clark and Virginia Larsen.”
It was like being punched in the gut.
Jeanne sucked in a mouthful of cold air and scanned the crowd for Brad again. Was he hurting as much as she was? She tipped up on her toes—no small feat—then spotted him standing between Tommy and their little brother, Mitch, near the podium. It was a moment they needed to share.
She looked at her feet, strained and squished into a pair of ugly boots. Another politician droned on about the safety statistics in this particular dangerous spot, and soon enough the crowd was counting down to midnight.
“Three … two … one! Happy New Year!”
Horns blared, people cheered, someone yanked off the tarp covering the traffic light, and Jeanne realized she must’ve spilled her drink. Then she realized she didn’t have a drink. With wide eyes she looked at Kate.
“I either peed my pants, or my water just broke.”
Kate looked down at the ground. “Hot damn. Looks like we’ve got a New Year’s baby.”
Jeanne shook her head like she could stop it all from happening. “I’m three weeks early!”
Kate rubbed her arm. “Don’t worry. That’s still considered full term. You’re going to be fine.”
“How do you know?” She was blubbering.
“I used to be a nurse, remember? Women do this every day. Let’s get Tommy to give you and Brad a ride into Whitesville. This is just like Dina and Mitch at their wedding. Guess the Larsen babies don’t like to miss a party.”
Jeanne grabbed Kate’s arm. “No. Don’t get Brad. It’ll be too hard for him. He doesn’t want this baby, and I don’t want him there when it’s born. I’m giving it up anyway.”
Tonya tucked Jeanne’s hair behind her ears. “Now don’t get ahead of yourself. Let’s just get you to the hospital.”
Tonya and Kate helped Jeanne into the back of Kate’s Jeep. They had a straight path to Whitesville, with most folks off the roads celebrating the New Year.
“How fast are those contractions coming, Jeanne?”
“You mean how often …” Jeanne sucked in a breath. “… how often is a white hot poker jabbing my belly?” Another deep breath.
“I’ve been timing her whimpers,” Tonya said. “About every four minutes.”
Kate drove faster. They made it to Whitesville in thirty minutes instead of the typical forty-five, and Jeanne was rushed right to Labor and Delivery.
The nurse came into the room to fill out the admission papers. She got all the details, and then asked, “And the father’s name? Is he here?”
Jeanne panicked, and another wave of pain swept across her abdomen. She gasped. “Just leave that blank. He’s not involved.”
The nurse finished the paperwork, then Tonya and Kate moved to each side of her bed, holding her hands and offering encouragement. Tonya flicked on the TV.
“Oh, look. It’s a rerun of Friends.”
Jeanne moaned. “David Schwimmer’s whining is ruining my focus. Turn it off!”
Tonya’s eyes widened, and she clicked the remote.
“Hang in there,” Kate said.
After giving Jeanne a blessed epidural, the nurse patted Jeanne’s hand and reassured her that the OB doctor on call would be in soon.
But the contractions quickened. And when the nurse checked on Jeanne again in ten minutes, she said the baby’s head was crowning.
“Guess this baby’s coming, doctor or not. It’s time to push.”
“No! I’m not ready.” She wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready for any of this. She didn’t have the bag she was supposed to have packed with lip balm and extra underwear and her own pillow. She didn’t have a nursery set up at home. And she didn’t have the baby’s father there urging her on. “I can’t do this!”
“You have to do this, hon,” Kate said.
Jeanne shook her head and moaned as another pain wrapped around her belly.
“Hate to tell you this, but you’re not in charge here,” the nurse said. “Let’s count to three and push. That baby wants out. And fast.”
Jeanne pushed and cried. She gripped her friends’ hands and gritted her teeth. She couldn’t imagine how severe the pain would’ve been without an epidural.
“You’re almost there, just a few more good pushes,” the nurse instructed. “Think about seeing that baby in your arms. Push!”
Jeanne closed her eyes and tried to picture holding the baby. But she couldn’t imagine the scene without Brad next to her. That brought on a fresh round of tears. Would this child be a constant reminder of the man she loved but couldn’t have? Her frustration fueled a monster push, and the next thing she knew, a baby was crying, two best friends were crying, and Jeanne was a mama.
“Is it a boy or a girl?” She sniffed.
“It’s a little boy,” the nurse said.
After the nurse wiped off the baby and cut the umbilical cord, she placed the newborn on Jeanne’s chest.
“I labored for twenty-two hours with Lizzy, and you pushed this guy out in twenty minutes,” Kate said. “I’m not talking to you for a week.”
“What are you going to name him?” Tonya asked.
“I don’t know. I’m not even sure I’m keeping him.”
“Stop talking like that,” Kate said.
The nurse looked at Jeanne. “Do you want me to arrange for someone to discuss adoption scenarios with you? Probably won’t be for a day a two because of the holiday.”
Jeanne kissed the baby’s head and wiped away a tear. “I’ll let you know.”
The nurse left the room, and the three of them said nothing as the little guy whimpered and flailed his arms.
Tonya tickled his leg. “Seeing this beautiful baby here now, you really think you could give him up?”
Jeanne rubbed the tip of her nose along her child’s soft, downy brown hair. “He’s the most lovely thing I’ve ever seen. And he deserves better than what I can give him. I want him to have the family I missed out on. I don’t think I can do this alone.”
“Sure you can,” Tonya said.
Jeanne shook her head. “There are lots of wonderful couples looking to adopt, without all the complications going on with Brad a
nd me.”
“Don’t rush into any decisions,” Kate said. “You’ve got a lot of crazy hormones pumping through you right now. Get some rest, and everything will be clearer in the morning.”
The nurse came back and finished up weighing the baby and cleaning up. “I’m going to take this little darling down to the nursery. You get some sleep now.”
Jeanne looked at her friends. “You guys go home and get some sleep, too. Thanks so much for getting me here. Guess I should let Brad know.” She yawned. “I’ll call him in the morning.”
Kate and Tonya hugged and kissed her and flicked off the lights when they left.
Jeanne stared at the shaft of moonlight beaming through a slit in the curtains, knowing she should be thinking about new starts and this new life she’d just brought into this world. But all she could think about were the things that were missing.
Chapter 21
BRAD LAY AWAKE in bed, hurt and disappointed that Jeanne had left the ceremony without him. He should have made sure she was standing with him and his brothers and sucked it up if she cried. He should have promised to wipe away her tears instead of telling her he couldn’t bear seeing them.
He rolled over. Why hadn’t he insisted she take the night off? Someone from Events Extraordinaire could’ve worked with him. They probably would’ve appreciated seeing how their operations worked, if they were going to be buying them out.
He laughed softly. Like Jeanne would’ve agreed to stay home. There was no insisting with Jeanne, and that was part of the reason he loved her. He groaned. Hell yes, he still loved her, even after everything that had happened between them.
His cell rang and he jumped up, glancing at the clock. It was two-thirty in the morning. Fumbling for his phone, he grabbed it off the nightstand.
“Hello?”
“Brad? It’s Tonya. Jeanne’s sleeping now, but she had the baby. Her water broke just after midnight. Kate and I rushed her to the hospital. Everyone’s fine, and you have a beautiful little boy.” She paused. “Well, Jeanne does. I know where you stand on this whole thing. Just thought you should know.”
He sat up and kicked off the covers, the sheets getting caught around his legs. “Why the hell didn’t anyone get me when this happened?”