“I wish you wouldn’t feel the need to avoid me,” she said, setting the kerosene lamp in the corner of the room.
He heard her footsteps as she made her way over to him, and he dropped the brush into the container. He made a move to pull it out when her hand covered his. He might have knocked the container over had she not caught it.
“We’re married, Travis,” she whispered. “It’s alright to do this.”
She took the container and set it aside, placing the lid back on it and setting the brush on the towel so it would dry. He took a step away from her. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to do what she had in mind. He just couldn’t believe he was understanding her correctly. What woman in her right mind would want to be with him that way?
She approached him, and he took another step back until his backside hit the table. He was ready to stop her when she stood up on her tiptoes and leaned into him. Though she couldn’t have intended to let her breasts brush against him, that was exactly what happened, and the sensation made him freeze in place.
She took off his hat and threw it on the table. Then she smiled and said, “That’s better. I like being able to look into your eyes. You have such a lovely blue color. I can’t recall a time when I ever saw a blue so bright on anyone.”
He studied her expression, just to make sure she was being sincere. It wasn’t his experience to receive compliments about the way he looked. Yes, he’d received compliments on his fine craftsmanship, but that was for things he created with his hands. But as for himself, he hadn’t had anything worth noting.
Until now. Because he could tell she was being sincere. His heart warmed. It was nice to be told there was something attractive about him, even if that something was as simple as his eye color.
She wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled him toward her. Her eyes closed, and she parted her mouth, inviting him to kiss her. As much as he was afraid to do it, he was too curious to pull away. Just what was it like to share a kiss? He’d seen people kiss, and they seemed to enjoy it. It’d be nice if he could do it, too. He’d like to partake in something that was common to the human experience.
Closing his eyes, he let his mouth touch hers and was rewarded with a spark of pleasure as it coursed through him. It was similar to the way he felt when she touched him, except this was better than the time she held his hand. Because this particular act aroused him.
He ended the kiss, his face warm. He was certain she hadn’t meant to stir up the kind of thoughts he was now having because he unwittingly recalled how she looked without clothes on, and she didn’t even know he’d seen her change into her nightshirt that night they were in the bedroom. She’d thought he was asleep.
“I won’t do this if you really don’t want to,” Allie said. “Would you like me to leave?”
He should say yes. If he wanted to do what was best for her, he’d tell her to go back to the cottage. But he couldn’t say the words. Not when his arms refused to push her away. And not when she continued to hold him and look up at him as if she wanted to stay with him.
After a long moment, he shook his head. No. He didn’t want her to leave. He wanted her to stay. More than that, he wanted to kiss her again.
As if she could read his mind, she encouraged him to lower his head and kiss her. This kiss wasn’t as awkward as the first one. This time, he knew what to expect, and he noted how soft her lips were. She didn’t seem to mind kissing him. That was a promising sign. Growing up, he had assumed he’d never share such a moment with a woman. But it was nice to finally be able to do it. Well, it was more than nice. It was, by far, the most exciting thing that had ever happened to him.
He thought she might pull away at some point during this kiss, but she didn’t. Instead, she parted her mouth and brushed her tongue along his bottom lip. Another spark shot through him, making him hesitate. Just what should he do? Was it a good idea to give into the urge to accept her into his mouth? If he did that, then he’d have even more thoughts of things he’d like to do to her, and he wasn’t sure she’d be all that happy about them.
She ran her hands down his arms and then wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer to her. Whether she had intended it or not, this allowed his erection to press up against her, and this compelled him to accept her into his mouth. From there, he proceeded to interlace his tongue with hers. Now, this kind of kiss was much better because it helped to relax him.
He supposed some things were guided by instinct. People didn’t have to be told to do them. They just naturally did them as the situation called for it. This seemed to be one of those situations because, without consciously thinking of it, his hands went to her breasts, cupping them in his hands.
In his mind, he recalled the way they’d looked in the mirror as she undressed in front of it. They were perfectly round with pink buds in the center. It was these buds that he felt as he brushed over her breasts. He wasn’t sure, but he thought they hardened as he continued to caress them.
She shivered, and for a moment, he thought he’d done something to repulse her. He immediately drew back, fully expecting her to run out of the building, but instead, she started to unbutton her shirtwaist.
He couldn’t move. He couldn’t even breathe. Was he dreaming? Had he fallen asleep while painting the kitchen table? Surely, this couldn’t really be happening. Not to him. And not with someone as beautiful as her.
She shrugged off her shirtwaist and then pulled the chemise over her head, exposing those wonderful breasts he’d been unable to get out of his mind since he first saw them. It was much better to see her face to face instead of looking at her reflection.
As she draped the clothes over a chair, he debated whether or not he should wake up. If this was a dream, why fight it? But then, he couldn’t be dreaming because never, in a million years, had his dreams ever taken this turn. If he was dreaming, she’d either be laughing at him or afraid of him.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he watched as she removed the rest of her clothes. No. This couldn’t be happening. Not really happening. It had to be a dream. A very unusual dream, but a dream nonetheless.
When she finished placing her things on the chair, she returned to him, her fingers on the top button of his shirt. “Don’t you want to make love to me?”
His gaze lowered to her fingers. Did he want to make love to her? In his entire life, he couldn’t think of anything he’d ever wanted more.
“I’m your wife, Travis,” she whispered. “I want to be with you in every way a wife is supposed to be with her husband.”
“I-” His voice cracked, so he cleared his throat. “I want to be with you, too.” That took a lot of effort to say, and the only reason he managed it was because the male part of him was demanding he do it.
She smiled at him then, and he was assured that she was telling the truth, that she was sincere in wanting to consummate their marriage. Her gaze went to the buttons on his shirt as she unfastened them, taking her time as she did so. The process probably shouldn’t have been so erotic. And maybe it wouldn’t have been, except she was doing it with the intent of making love to him.
“The scars aren’t only on my face. They’re on my body, too,” he warned. “When I was a child, I had varicella. It was so bad that I couldn’t stop scratching. So, I’m not like other men.”
She paused at the last button on his shirt and looked up at him. “I don’t want you to be like other men. I want you to be who you are. And when I look at you, I see a caring and tender man who only wants the best for others. When we make love, that’s the person I’m going to be with.”
Then she loosened the last button and slid the shirt off his shoulders. Afterward, she slipped her hands beneath his undershirt and helped him take it off. He held his breath as she studied his chest, running her hands along his skin, not shying away when she came across the scars.
“You’re strong,” she whispered as she traced the muscles in his arms. “I find that very attractive.”
Then she lowered her hands to his denims. He finally released his breath. She wasn’t repulsed by him. She’d taken a good look at him, even touched a couple of the scars, and she hadn’t shown any indication that he repulsed her. More than that, she was still willing to make love to him.
He helped her with the buttons on his denims and took off the rest of his clothes. He noted the slight trembling in his hands. Even if she hadn’t balked at the scars, he still couldn’t help but be nervous about where this was heading. He wanted to return to that state of mind where his fears had abated, where instinct had taken over and allowed him to gather the courage to touch her breasts. The pause in touching her had been enough to make him hesitate again.
But as she reached down to touch his penis, he started to relax. Her touch was gentle, as if she wasn’t certain of what she was doing, and he remembered this wasn’t only his first time—it was hers, too. Except, she wasn’t letting her insecurities prevent her from exploring him.
Taking a deep breath, he brought his hands back to her breasts and cupped them. He focused on her nipples, curious at the way they grew hard as he brushed them with his thumbs. It was much like the way he hardened as she traced the length of him with her fingers. And in many ways, the fact that she was so intimately exploring him helped him forget about his scars.
Her hand cupped around his penis, and he moaned. It was much better than when he did it.
She glanced up at him. “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” he said, his voice soft. “It felt good.”
“What you’re doing is making me feel good, too,” she replied, blushing as she made her confession.
He noted that she was as nervous as he was, and he suddenly didn’t feel so awkward. They were both learning what lovemaking entailed. Neither had been with another person this way. And that being the case, perhaps he didn’t have to worry about every little thing he was doing. If he didn’t do things perfectly, how would she know?
Encouraged, he lifted her up and put her on the table, eager to get a better look at her. He took a moment to study her body. She was flawless of course. There wasn’t a single thing wrong with her. He couldn’t have done a better job if it’d been up to him to create her.
“I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my whole life,” he told her.
Then, before she could respond, he leaned forward and kissed her, this time not hesitating to brush his tongue along hers. She wrapped her arms around him and deepened the kiss. He ran his hands over her body, taking his time to further explore her, wishing to sear the memory of her into his mind forever.
When he reached the area between her legs, she let out a low moan and spread them further apart. He traced the curls with his fingers before touching the folds of her flesh. He went lower and realized she was wet. Curious, he put a finger into her, wondering what she felt like. The warm folds of her flesh wrapped around him. This was where his penis would soon be, and he honestly couldn’t think of anything else that’d feel better than this.
The last of his nerves settling down, his mouth left hers, and he kissed her cheek, then her neck, and then went lower. She shifted back, giving him better access to her breasts, and he brought his mouth to the pink bud that beckoned to him.
She whispered his name and lifted her hips, prompting his finger to slide deeper into her. Excited, he slid in another finger. She rewarded him with a groan and began rocking her hips, a movement that aided him in the process of stroking her core.
His mouth left her breast and went to the area between her legs. She laid back on the table and spread her legs further, giving him the perfect opportunity to study her. She was beautiful. So absolutely beautiful. And to think he had the pleasure of enjoying her for the rest of his life.
Her hands gripped his shoulders, and she murmured how much she was enjoying what they were doing. He brought his mouth to her sensitive nub and kissed it. She let out gasp and cried out for him to do it again. Intrigued, he did as she wished, and noting the way her flesh clenched around his fingers, he brushed the nub with his tongue. She asked him to do it again, and he obliged, eager to do whatever he could to give her as much pleasure as possible.
Fortunately, she wasn’t the least bit shy in letting him know what she liked. He explored different techniques in stroking her with his tongue until he found the one that made her moan the loudest. He continued his ministrations until she let out a final cry and stilled, her body jerking in time with the clenching and unclenching of her core.
When she relaxed, she murmured that she wanted him to enter her. More than excited, he rose above her and slid into her. There was a moment of resistance, where he had to pass through her virginal barrier. And at first he thought he’d hurt her, but then she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him deeper into her.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered. “Make me your wife.”
With a moan, he pulled halfway out and then went back in, noting the ease with which he did so. He repeated the movement, taking a moment to study her expression. She let out a contented sigh and smiled at him. Good. He definitely wasn’t hurting her.
He closed his eyes and continued making love to her. The pleasure building up within him insisted he give into his release, but he’d slow down at times just to delay it. At times, he even opened his eyes and focused on something in the room. He wasn’t in any hurry to climax. This was, by far, the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he fully intended to enjoy every moment of it.
Eventually, however, his body refused to delay the inevitable, and he ended up giving into the need to reach the peak. He cried out her name and grew still as his seed filled her core. Wave after wave of pleasure crashed into him, making him feel better than he ever had in his life. And it was even better because Allie still had her legs wrapped around his waist, a silent message that she had fully accepted him. She’d been willing to share the most intimate activity one person could share with another, and for that, he loved her.
When he was spent, he leaned toward her and kissed her. “That was the best thing that ever happened to me,” he whispered.
She brushed the hair out of his eyes and smiled. “It was the best thing that ever happened to me, too.”
Returning her smile, he gave her another kiss, not in any hurry to end it. When his mouth left hers, he said, “Thank you for looking beyond my appearance.”
She cupped his face in her hands. “When I look at you, I don’t see the scars. I see the man that’s really there, and you’re handsome.”
She meant it. He could tell that by the way she was looking at him. Whatever had he done to deserve her? Swallowing the lump in his throat, he said, “I love you, Allie.”
“I love you, too.”
They kissed for another couple minutes. He was in no rush to end this moment in his life. If only it would last forever. Because in this moment, he’d never been happier. Here, with her, he was normal. And more than that, he wasn’t alone. No. With her, he was complete.
Chapter Seventeen
The next morning, Allie woke up before Travis did. After they finally consummated the marriage, he’d been much more willing to join her in their bedroom in the cottage. He had turned out to be a very considerate lover. Not that she’d doubted he would be since her mother had told her a man who treated a woman well outside the bed would treat her well in the bed, too.
But it still made her heart leap in excitement when she recalled his tenderness toward her. He loved her. He didn’t have to come out and say it. She knew it in the way he’d touched and kissed her.
The best part was, he was still in the cottage with her. She thought she might have to try to convince him to go to bed with her, but fortunately, when she had asked him if he’d go to their bedroom, he had simply nodded and followed her to the cottage. She couldn’t be sure if this was finally the turning point where he realized he was safe with her. Hopefully, it was. At least when she woke up that morning, he’d been in bed with her.
As she turned to pour them both a cup of coffee, she was surprised to see Travis standing in the doorway, hat in hand, a shy smile on his face.
Well, he wasn’t making a move to run off, so that was good. He was at least willing to eat this meal with her without being pinned down to do it.
“Have a seat,” she greeted, waving him into the room. She put the plate of warm pancakes in the center of the table then set out their cups. “I hope you had a good night’s sleep.”
“As I recall, we didn’t do much sleeping,” he said as he settled into his chair.
She stared at him for a moment and then laughed. “Why, Travis, I believe you just made a joke.”
He shrugged, his face growing pink.
“It was a good joke,” she assured him. Then to show him she meant it, she kissed his cheek. “And I certainly didn’t mind losing some sleep.”
She didn’t think the comment would make his blush deepen, but it did.
Deciding it might be best to turn the conversation to something that would make him more comfortable, she added, “I thought I’d work on the flowerbed today. I know it’s late in the season, but all the work will get things ready for next year.”
“I should check on Carl today and see how he’s doing,” Travis said. “When I come back, I want to paint the new table.” He glanced around the room. “Now that the house looks nice, I want to have nicer furniture to go with it. It’s amazing what you’ve done to this place.”
She sat in her chair and smiled at him. “Thank you. I can’t take all of the credit, though. Caroline and Phoebe helped.”
“Is that what they were doing when they were here?”
The Accidental Mail Order Bride Page 14