I guess all those years of living without have taught me that there really isn’t one thing to get too attached to. That way, when you lose it you’re not upset. That whole mindset will help me while I attend college. I don’t need much to live, and happily. I need to give it more thought. I know Roger will be supportive and accommodate my schedule any way I need. Now, I just need to dig deep and find the confidence to do it.
Today is another gorgeous day. We’ve been having a run of beautiful, sunny days. Sawyer is due to pick me up soon for our date. He recommended that I dress casually, so I take him at his word. I pull on a cute pair of light pink denim shorts and a white tank, and then I pull my thick, blonde hair up into a high ponytail. My nerves are getting the best of me and my heart is pounding in my chest. I’m wearing very light makeup with a soft pink gloss on my lips. I’m glad for the light makeup, as my nerves are causing me to sweat. Not gross sweat, just a light sheen on my skin. I do a quick pit check, just in case.
I throw a few essentials into my satchel and cross it over my body. I wonder if there is time for me to have a gulp of wine or something before he arrives. The doorbell rings answering my question. Oh Shit, here goes nothing. I take a deep breath and reach for the knob.
I open the door and there he is in all his glory. Fuck, he is just so hot. He’s gelled his dark hair into a little twist at the front of his face, the sides left short. He is wearing khaki shorts and a navy blue t-shirt. The color brings out the green of his eyes. I close my eyes and breathe deep. Wow, he smells delicious. He is wearing a citrusy cologne, and the rest is all him. I tentatively lick my lips, and as I do his eyes drop to my mouth. He growls low in his throat as I just stand here, looking at him.
Eventually he clears his throat and I jump into action. “Oh, I’m so sorry. How rude of me. Did you want to come in for a bit? Or just head out?” He grabs my hand, pulling me out the door.
“Let’s head out. I’ve got some fun stuff planned for us.” I shut the door and lock it behind me.
He has a Ford F150. This thing is huge, and jacked up. What is it with guys and big trucks? I have no idea how the hell I’m going to get into this vehicle. As if he can read my mind, I feel his hands grab me by the waist and boost me up into my seat. He does it effortlessly. I know I’m not huge, but I figured he would strain a little bit. Nope. I sigh softly and bite my lip as I slip my seat belt on and watch him as he rounds the front of the truck. He gets in and we make small talk. We talk about the blue sky and the run of good weather we’ve been having, but what a shame as the flowers could use some rain. Is this what it’s come down to? Talking about weather after already watched each other come? Ugh, I hate the tension.
I know Sawyer feels it too, because he reaches his hand over to me and links his fingers through mine. I let him. He gives my fingers a squeeze and says, “It’s all going to be fine”.
I just look at him and nod. After all, what can I say? So, this is the first date I’ve ever been on in my life, as in ever, and even though it’s my first date I’m not a virgin. You see… I let my guidance counselor have his way with me. Yeah... Not first date material. There isn’t much else to tell.
I’m quiet, looking out the window, and note that we have come to our local park. This is where my daddy used to bring me when I was little and we would feed the animals. I haven’t been here since then. Get the bag of food, Princess Cherry. We’ve got some animals to feed. Wow, that memory just came out of nowhere. I know my eyes are welling with tears, but I can’t help it. Sawyer notices, cups my chin in his hand, and turns my head toward his.
“What’s up?” He runs this thumbs along my jaw.
I hiccup sob while saying, “Happy Tears. This place just holds some really great memories for me.”
He smiles and nods, then he leans in and softly grazes my lips, licking me softly. He nips and bites at my full, bottom lip, and soothes over the hurt. He angles his head and eats away at my mouth, our tongues tangling. It isn’t long before I’m panting, breathless. He pulls away from me, breathing harshly and says, “Let’s get the food and go feed those animals”.
He comes around the truck and reaches in for me, pulling me out of the vehicle. I slide down the front of his body, brushing over his erection, before my feet hit the ground. He knows exactly what he is doing as he smirks at me. I smile as he reaches behind my seat for a large bag of raw vegetables and old bread. I’m really looking forward to this. He grabs my hand and pulls me along the path.
As we walk we chat, the initial awkwardness gone. Thank goodness. We ask the typical first date questions: favorite color, movie, or meal. It’s just nice. Easy. I relax for the first time in a long time and I’m happy. I breathe in deep, and as I let out my breath I let the rest of my tension leave my shoulders. As we’re chatting Sawyer brings up that he is a Chartered Accountant. I must flinch or something, because he looks at me funny, so I explain. “It’s sort of weird to me that you brought me to the same park my dad always brought me to.” I go on. “And also coincidental that you’re an accountant just like he was,” I finish softly. Before he thinks I’m a freak I spit out the rest. “Even though it’s odd, it’s somehow oddly right too.”
To me, it’s almost like a sign from Daddy telling me that this guy is right for me. I don’t want to tell him that, because I’ll scare him away before we’ve even started anything.
Sawyer gives me a huge hug and then pulls back to look at my face. “Did you say was?”
I nod. “Yes, my dad had cancer and it took him quickly, six months from start to finish.”
He holds me, running his hands through my hair and massaging my scalp. I’m almost purring. I’m so relaxed. I’m reliving this sad memory of Daddy, yet I just feel like everything that’s happening is right. Sawyer nods. “How old were you?”
“Eight.” He pulls me in again, really tight. I’m trembling at this point. I just need to stop thinking about my dad. I can’t tell Sawyer more or he’ll run like the wind, and I really like him. He’s such a decent guy.
I grab his hand and pull him along. “Ok, time to shake off the sad tears, Mister.” He smiles and tags along. We stop at the deer and get out the celery and carrots. Before long, the beautiful and delicate animals surround us. I giggle happily as they sniff and munch right out of our hands. We move to the rabbits next and I laugh at their antics, watching them jump all over each other. Our final stop is at the lake to feed the ducks. We have large chunks of bread in our bag, and I began breaking off little bits to throw into the lake. Ducks are now surrounding us, each of them quacking and demanding a chunk of bread of their own. I watch, mesmerized, as a gorgeous white swan approaches close to the bank, and I toss some bread for her to eat.
Sawyer ends up pulling me back up the hill. We are laughing hysterically. The ducks turned on us when they realized we ran out of bread. We had no choice but to make a run for it. I’m laughing so hard I can barely catch my breath. God, it’s been so long since I’ve laughed and felt this free.
“Wait right here, gorgeous. I have a surprise for you,” he says as he releases my hand.
I’ve got a surprise for you. Go get undressed and stand by the couch. My mind goes right back to the last time someone had uttered those words to me. Not just someone, but him. I shudder and try to think of something else. Ugh. Will I ever fully rid myself of these memories?
I don’t have to wait long before Sawyer is back. He’s carrying a large picnic basket in one hand and a rolled up blanket it the other. After rolling out the blanket he pats it, inviting me to sit down and join him. He’s earning big time points with this easy first date. The points double as he empties the contents of the basket, revealing a bottle of wine, crackers, cheese, and some fruit. Damn.
“This is just the appetizer,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows. “I don’t want to come across as pushy, but I’d really like it if we could head back to your place and order in. What do you think? Are you up for the company?”
I sigh happily, smiling at h
im from under my lashes. “Yeah, that would be great,” I say grinning. He is being so sweet I can’t help but to agree. I sit back and just relax, letting the week unwind from my body. We munch away at all the goodies he packed, talking in between bites. He made some good choices for the picnic with the rosemary and cracked black pepper crackers, and when you pair that with the creamy cheese, it’s to die for. I swirl the wine in my glass, inhaling the aroma before I take a nice healthy sip. Damn that’s good wine. He spared no expense.
We sit and chat for a bit more, getting to know each other. I reveal to Sawyer that I’m an only child. Sawyer said that he too is basically an only child. He has a half-brother that he used to spend summers with. They share the same daddy, but different moms. He has some funny stories about the two boys and I can’t stop giggling.
He is watching me laugh. He leans forward. “There they are,” he says as he reaches both hands out and cups my face.
“I love to see you laugh. You’re so beautiful,” he says softly. “You really do have the prettiest smile, especially with those incredible dimples.”
With those words he cups the back of my head and angles his mouth over mine. I can taste wine, cheese, and Sawyer on his tongue. I love the taste of his mouth. It’s bold and sensual, like the man. Our tongues tangle as he licks his way into my mouth, my breath hitching in excitement. I moan aloud and shiver, desire pooling low in my belly. Just like that, he pulls back from me, panting as he stares at me. “Let’s head back to your place and order in”.
“That sounds like an amazing plan.” I help him pack up, trying not to appear over eager. Sawyer links his fingers through mine, squeezing softly as we walk back to his truck.
He helps me into the truck. His hands at my waist has me clenching my legs together. I’m wet just from spending the day with him, but every time he touches me I feel like I’m soaking through everything. I just hope I don’t soak through my shorts. That would be embarrassing. I shut the door and buckle myself in as he walks around to his side.
Out of nowhere Sawyer reaches over and undoes my seatbelt while I look at him in confusion. He pulls me over to the seat in the middle and pulls the belt around me, pulling it taut to ensure I’m secure.
“I want you with me,” he says.
I nod my head, tongue-tied. He must think he’s dating a fucking bobble head. Geez woman, give it a damn rest and use your mouth. My skin is tingling and I feel warm, now smiling like an idiot, but I just can’t make it stop. He grips my hand and smiles back at me. I feel like things are moving quickly, yet not fast enough. My thoughts are as schizophrenic as my feelings are, and I shake my head at myself, letting a soft sigh out under my breath.
We leave everything in the truck when we get to my place. Sawyer will take care of it all when he gets home. My hands are shaking from nerves when we get to my front door; so bad that I can’t get the key into the lock. Sawyer will be the first man I’ve had here. Ever. I don’t even know how to act on a first date. He’s going to think I’m an idiot. I need to stop the negative thoughts or I may end this date right now. My nerves are jangling and my stomach is tight. It’s like he knows that I need him, right at this exact moment. He steps up really close behind me, and envelopes my tiny body with his larger one. My back is to his front. He feels so warm, strong, and safe. Safe? Huh. I haven’t felt safe in…. well…. forever.
Sawyer grabs the keys from my shaking hands and squeezes them, looking intently into my eyes. “Here, let me.”
We walk into my front foyer and I turn on some lights, locking the door behind us. I take a look around, trying to see my place through his eyes. It’s a nice house and well kept, both inside and out. My front foyer is made of all hardwood that runs throughout the main floor. It’s a beautiful, dark, coffee color and I love it. I have comfortable furniture in cream-colored leather. Everything is clean and in its place. I have a large screen TV and flanking that are two bookshelves with all of my favorites. Even though I read on a Kindle now, finally being able to buy one about a week ago, I still love to collect my favorites so I can put them on my shelves. I even have a few that are signed, like T.H. Snyder and Charisse Spiers. I used my first paycheck to buy those signed copies, giggling like a crazy woman when they arrived at my door. I will cherish those forever, and I can’t wait for a chance to meet the writer behind the stories, thinking I may go to a book signing that is coming to our town in six months.
The whole main floor is open and inviting, but more importantly to me, cozy. My kitchen is large, the appliances all stainless steel. I’m so proud of myself for my accomplishments, living in a home and owning two vehicles. Not many women my age can say the same, especially considering my beginnings, but somehow I managed to pull myself out of the mire and move forward.
As I head to the kitchen I look over my shoulder at him and ask, “Can I get you something to drink? I have beer, wine, and the basics for hard liquor.”
“I’ll take a beer, please.”
I open the fridge to grab him a cold one and pull out the bottle of white wine for myself. He makes himself comfortable on the couch with one arm on the back. You’re so fucking sexy. I want to jump you. Hold up, Cherry. Give the poor guy a break. You’re looking at him like he’s a bloody steak and you’re a lion. I giggle at the pictures I now have in my head. I need to control myself, because he is that sexy. I hand over his beer and take a seat beside him on the couch.
“So, tell me a bit more about yourself,” I say to him.
“Hmmm, ok, what to tell you,” he says with his brow furrowed. “Let’s see. I went years and never knew I had a half-brother. I was really angry the day my parents sat down and told me,” he says while shaking his head at the memory. “All I could think was how could my dad do that to my mom? And why wasn’t she angry with him for cheating, or allowing it to happen? I was a kid that didn’t know any better, but why didn’t my mom fight with him more? She acted like it was fine.” I can see his frustration and anger written all over his expressive face. He sighs. “I wasn’t really open to having any siblings, half or not. That first summer my brother came to spend with my family by the ocean, I had planned on not speaking to him at all. I think it only took a day or two before we warmed up to the idea of each other,” he says quietly.
I look at him. “But you did?”
I can tell from the look on his face that this story has a happy ending. “Yeah, we were thick as thieves by the end of that first week. We spent our summers filthy and exhausted,” he finishes laughing. I can picture a little version of him, covered in filth and up to no good. There goes my heart, hammering in my chest.
I watch as Sawyer’s smile slips off his face. “What is it?”
“We’re just not close anymore,” he says sadly. “Things changed for us recently, and I put the blame solely on his girlfriend, and also my ex-girlfriend.” He’s shaking his head. “I don’t think his girlfriend is quite right in the head and she’s very manipulative. I hate saying shit about people, but she really rubbed me the wrong way. There is something off about her. Do you know what I mean?”
Boy do I ever. “Oh yeah, I’ve had my fair share of crazy in this life.” I want to ask more about his ex-girlfriend, but I don’t want to open up a tough subject, so I stay quiet.
Thank goodness he doesn’t dwell on our conversation or ask me for an example of the crazies in my life. It’s too soon. I just can’t go there. Thankfully, he’s talkative and carrying most of our conversation. “My parents are still together and very happy, but they bought a beach house on the Carolina coast to spend their summers once they retired. My mom says she’ll consider moving back here fulltime, if and only, when I settle down and give her some grandbabies,” he says laughing, the lines beside his eyes crinkling.
I burst out into laughter, almost choking on my wine. “You sound like you had a great childhood with amazing and loving parents,” I tell him.
“You’re right,” he says. “And I wouldn’t change a thing about it.” I sit quie
tly, hoping he won’t ask me about my childhood. I watch tentatively as he puts his beer on my coffee table and clasps my hands in his.
“I want to hear more about you,” he says. “Why stripping, Baby?” He hurries to explain. “You’re awesome at it and incredibly beautiful, but what led to that choice?”
“You just jump right in,” I say laughing. “Hmm, what to tell you? I didn’t choose stripping. It sort of chose me. Let me backtrack a bit. I have been living on my own since I was seventeen, but I didn’t start off stripping. I was a waitress at a diner. The owner allowed me to live in the back room of the diner and I could eat all I needed. I had a small cot in the back and it was home to me for a while,” I say softly. “I was just thankful that the owner allowed me to live there. It was that or the streets,” I finish quietly.
Sawyer squeezes my hand. “You’re so strong to have dealt with living on your own at the age of seventeen,” he says. “You’re still too young to be fending for yourself. It’s kind of a bummer, I guess.”
I smile. “You’re too sweet, but I did what I had to and I’m not that young. I’ll be twenty-two soon,” I say with conviction. “I was at the diner for a bit, working 16 hour days and saving every dime I made. Roger would come in every day for his coffee and newspaper. He didn’t approach me right away. He got to know me a bit first.” I smile at the memory. “He thought I would make a great dancer and he offered me the job, dangling the cash in my face and telling me I could easily make three times what I made at the diner.” I’m out right laughing at this point. “So I said yes. I mean, all that cash to someone my age. Who would turn that down? He basically offered me a life and hooked me up with one of the retired dancers who taught me everything she knew,” I say quietly. “That’s about it. Nothing super exciting.”
He laughs at me but doesn’t look away. “I’m not surprised that you’re so successful,” he says squeezing my hands. “You’re courageous, a survivor. Look at how you worked yourself up from nothing.”
Accepting Cherry Page 16