“What does it matter to you?” She grabbed Sarah’s arm and pulled her close. “You will not mess up this plan.”
“How could you use me like this? Don’t you care about me at all? I hate you!” Mrs. McKay pulled her hand back to slap Sarah’s face, but Josh grabbed her.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I happen to know the sheriff.” He released her hand and stepped in between the two women. “Perhaps you need to go and rest, Mrs. McKay. A good lie down will make you feel much better.”
“I’m not leaving without Sarah. You will never be alone with her again.”
Sarah stared at them as they stared at each other. Then she gently put her hand on Josh’s back.
“It’s almost time to close. I’ll go to Becky’s house with her. Why don’t you come by tonight so we can talk?”
“No.” Mrs. McKay’s voice was stern. “He is not welcome in my home.”
“Then it’s a good thing we’re staying in Becky’s home,” Sarah said. “I’m sure she will welcome Josh.”
Her mother stared at her, her mouth open. Finally she said, “How dare you speak to me that way.”
“It’s easy, Mother. And there is a very large part of me that wishes I’d done it a long, long time ago.”
Chapter 5
Her mother had tried to strike her again, when they arrived at Becky’s house. This time it was Becky who was her savior, telling her sister that if she laid a hand on Sarah she would find herself looking for a room at the boarding house.
They’d screamed at each other as Sarah sat in a chair, dumbfounded. She’d actually believed her mother when she said that the wedding would help her father at work. It would, but not in the way that Sarah thought. The wedding would make it so that her father could be lazy, so that Earnest Hall would pull him along.
The idea sliced right through her. She was nothing more than something used as a bribe by her father. That meant that she should have listened to Josh all along. He loved her, and wanted to marry her. They should do it tonight.
When her mother was asleep, she would sneak out of the house. When he was here, she would slip him a note, telling him to have everything ready. They could ride to Denver and be married in the morning. She no longer felt any duty to her parents.
She wondered if Earnest knew her father was using him this way. The minute the thought entered her mind, she knew he did. Earnest was a meek man, who would pretty much do as anyone asked. Her father had probably proposed the idea and he’d readily agreed. After all, he had three children that needed a mother. This was the perfect situation for him.
“I’m going to my room,” Sarah said, standing up quickly.
“And try to run away? I think not. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
“Tell me, Mother, when the preacher asks me to say I do, and I won’t, are you going to say it for me?”
“You ungrateful little witch. After all your father and I have given you?”
“Given me? I’ve made my own way since I was in my early twenties. I should have stood up to you before now, and I’m ashamed that I didn’t.”
“And what do you think that MacAllister boy is going to give you? He’s going to make you work your legs off. You’ll be running every day, from sun up until sun down.”
“You’re probably right, Mother. But I would be doing the same thing with Earnest Hall, nice as he is, taking care of his children. At least I love Joshua, and he loves me.”
“Hardly. If he truly loved you, then he would have told you before now. He waited until you were engaged to another man to let you know how he felt. What does that say about him?”
Sarah narrowed her eyes, and then laughed. “You can’t try to goad me into getting angry. I love him, and that’s all there is to say on the matter.”
She turned and stalked to her room, slamming the door behind her. She could hear her mother and Becky’s angry voices through the door as she grabbed a sheet of paper and wrote a note to Joshua, telling him they should go to Denver tonight. By this time tomorrow, she would be Mrs. Joshua MacAllister. And she would make sure the marriage was consummated quickly, so there was nothing her father could do about it once he arrived.
* * *
Sarah shivered as Josh led her toward the store. “Where’s the carriage? Josh, it’s freezing out here. You don’t mean for us to ride to Denver on the back of a horse, do you?”
“We’re not going to Denver,” he said. “We’re going to Win’s house. The preacher is waiting for us there. Once we’re married we’ll go out to Ben’s cabin, along the creek and stay there for a few days.”
She laughed. “You think of everything. But what about the store?”
“Simple. Ruby’s going to watch the newspaper, and Corbin will watch the store. It won’t take but a few days of us alone together to cancel any idea of an annulment. With any luck, you’ll be pregnant in a week or so.”
Her stomach flopped and she pulled to a stop.
“Wow. I never thought it would happen so quickly, oh, Josh.”
He turned to her and kissed her. “We need to hurry, baby. Your mother wasn’t asleep, and something tells me it won’t be long before she’s out looking for you.”
Once they were at the store, he lifted her into the carriage and they took off for Win’s house.
“I wish Becky could come,” she said. “She’s been so supportive of me.”
“Right now, her support is making sure your mother stays in the other room while we get away. All my brothers are at the house. They’ll be our witnesses.”
“Perfect. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Sarah. My only regret is that I didn’t tell you sooner. Forgive me?”
“I didn’t tell you, either, so I guess we’re equally guilty.”
Once they were at Win’s house, they stood by the fire for several minutes to warm up. Sarah looked around and frowned.
“Where’s Ben?”
“He went to the cabin, to get it ready for us,” Josh said. “Just to make sure there’s enough wood and everything, and that some fires were laid so the place would be warm. He also took several days worth of food out for us, so that all I have to take out is my blushing bride.”
The preacher, Mr. Cockrell, married them quickly, saying it was about time that the two of them realized what everyone else had known for a while. He even let them use a ring from the store that didn’t fit Sarah’s finger. Josh slid it onto a chain, and then placed it around her neck, promising to take her to Denver as soon as possible to get her a proper ring. When they kissed, the attendees broke out into applause and Sarah blushed, leaning into Josh’s chest as he held her tight.
She felt safe and warm in his arms, but at any moment she expected her mother to burst through the door and drag her away. She prayed it wouldn’t happen, and that they would be together, forever.
* * *
She didn’t really feel safe until they were out of town, heading across open country on horses to Ben’s cabin. Josh said it would take them about an hour and a half to get there, and Sarah worried that in the dead of the night they would freeze before making it.
When they finally arrived, they found Ben waiting inside. The house was not as warm as Sarah would have liked, but that didn’t really matter to her. Soon she would be in Josh’s arms. In her husband’s arms. And that was all the warmth she would need.
Ben kissed the bride, then hugged his brother close.
“So,” Ben said with a laugh. “Your mother didn’t show up?”
“No,” Sarah said. “I’m sure she’s waiting at your office for you, though. She’ll be furious.”
“She’ll get over it,” Josh said. “And if she doesn’t, that’s her loss, not ours. She’s the one who will miss out on her grandchildren.”
Sarah’s heart leapt at the thought. Would she get pregnant tonight? Somehow, she doubted it. It was possible, yes, but she wasn’t sure that she wanted it to happen. It would be nice for her and Joshua to h
ave some alone time together, during their first few months as a married couple. But then again, she knew that she wasn’t very young. Sure, women her age had babies, but they usually started when they were younger.
Look at Dawn. She’d had several children first, and then had one more after she’d married Rob, and she was older than Sarah. She needed to talk to her, and to Ruby, and for that matter, to Vanessa. All three of them had had children by their husbands, and were no spring chickens when it happened.
“Sarah?” Josh’s voice was full of amusement. “Are you listening to me?”
“No. I’m sorry, I was daydreaming about children.”
Ben laughed and she watched a blush spread over his face. “In that case, I’ll let you get to it. Stay as long as you like. We’ll make sure the store is taken care of.”
“Thanks, big brother,” Josh said with a grin. “See ya in a few days.”
Sarah kissed Ben’s cheek, and when the door was closed, she turned to Josh.
“Your sisters-in-law…”
“You mean our sisters-in-law.”
Sarah laughed, her stomach was tied in knots and she was very, very nervous. “Yes, our sisters-in-law gave me a nightgown to wear. Should I change now?” She was so nervous. She wasn’t sure what to do. Her mother had never talked to her about anything, and neither had Becky.
“If you’d like. Or we can just sit by the fire and relax for a little while. Whichever is fine with you? Then, after we’ve warmed up a bit, you can change and we can get ready for bed.”
Bed. They could get ready for bed. They would sleep together. As husband and wife. After they’d made love. She gave him a shy smile and nodded.
“I think I’d like that. I’m so very nervous, Joshua.”
“I’m going to be very gentle with you, Sarah. There’s no reason for you to be nervous. I promise.”
He crossed the room and gathered her in his arms, kissing her gently but firmly. She melted into him, loving the feel of him next to her, loving the perfect way his body fit with hers. She’d always known that it would, and once again she was sorry that she’d never said anything to him about the way that she felt.
“I love you,” she whispered against his lips. “So very, very much.”
“And I love you, Sarah. I’m so happy that you agreed to be my wife.” He kissed her one more time, then turned her and stared to undo the buttons on the back of her dress.
“What about sitting in front of the fire for a while?”
“I don’t think I can wait that long. We’ll make love, and then we’ll sit in front of the fire for a while before we make love again.”
“We can do it twice, in one night?”
His laughter sent wonderful chills up her spine.
“We can do it three times a night, if we’re lucky. After tonight I’ll explain everything to you that you don’t already understand from our lovemaking.”
She nodded, and then moaned as he pushed aside her dress and kissed her shoulders, trailing his lips down her bare flesh. She shivered as his lips moved to the other shoulder. When he dropped the material in his hands, pushing it off her shoulders so that it fell to the floor her shivers increased.
She was wearing nothing but her chemise now, and she’d never, ever been so naked in front of a man.
“Sarah. You’re so beautiful.” He turned her toward him and cupped her face, kissing her deeply, his tongue pushing inside her mouth to play with her own. She groaned under his assault, her hands going to his chest. She wanted to feel him, touch him everywhere that she could.
She tried to undo his buttons, but her hands shook too much and he had to help her. When his chest was bare, she ran her hands over him, marveling at his muscles, and at the soft down of hair that covered him.
“You’re so handsome,” she said. “I want to see all of you. I want to touch you.”
“Well, then we’re even because I want to touch you, too.” Their hands worked together, sliding clothing off her shoulders and pushing down her bloomers. When she was naked, she felt no shame, only a slight bit of nervousness that left the minute Josh said, “So very beautiful.”
Their eager hands worked the buttons on his trousers, and soon they were both naked. She stared down, her eyes widening.
“Touch me, Sarah.” His voice was deep and she lifted her gaze to his. She licked her lips and trailed her hand down his chest, nudging his penis as she did. It was hard and thick and she gently moved her fingers over him, loving the sharp intake of breath her movements brought about.
When he picked her up in his arms, she laughed. He carried her into the bedroom, where a fire made the smaller room much warmer than the living area they’d been in. He laid her gently on the bed, and then positioned himself above her, leaning down to take a nipple into his mouth.
She groaned at the contact, pushing herself up into him and drawing him closer by wrapping her arms around him. His lips and tongue teased first one nipple, then the other.
Sarah sank into the mattress, loving the feel of his body above her. The hard shaft of his penis pressed into her thigh and the area between her legs ached for him. She felt wetness there, more than she’d ever felt before. When his fingers dipped down and gently eased her thighs apart she marveled at the way he made her feel.
He sat back on his knees and his fingers tickled her thighs. She giggled and tried to push them away. “Stop teasing me. I know what happens, I’m not a total idiot. Please make love to me.”
“But that’s what I’m doing. Touching you, and stroking you and loving you. The actual penetration is not the only way for us to love one another.”
His fingers touched her there, in the patch of hair that rested between her thighs. When he traced the slit that separated her womanhood she gasped, and pushed her legs wider for him.
“Please.”
His fingers dipped inside and a delicious sensation spread through her body. She felt tingly, and very, very beautiful. She wanted to take him inside her, to feel him slide into the wetness that was now coating his fingers.
Her insides clenched in pleasurable contractions and she knew that she couldn’t wait much longer. She wanted him; no, she needed him inside of her.
“Joshua, please. I don’t think I can wait much longer. It’s almost unbearable.”
“Sarah.” He leaned down and kissed her. “I want to go slow, so that you’re ready for me.”
“I am ready. I’ve been ready for you for years.”
Their laughter mixed together as he lowered himself between her legs, locking their gazes together.
“Wrap your legs around me, and when it hurts, tell me. I will stop and let you adjust to me.”
She nodded, and then groaned as the tip of his shaft slipped into her wetness. She thrust her hips toward him in invitation, a delicious feeling of need and love taking over her body. He pushed more and she stretched around him, moaning softly.
When he reached her barrier he stopped, kissing her forehead and then kissing her lips.
“I’m sorry I have to hurt you.”
In response, she lifted her hips more and tightened her legs. He pushed hard and broke through, the pain shooting through her. She closed her eyes as a small tear snaked down each cheek.
Joshua remained still, his tongue licking away each salty offering. Finally, after a few minutes, she nodded at him.
“It’s all right.”
“Are you sure? The pain has lessened?”
She nodded. It still throbbed, but she would not let him know that. The need to have him all the way in her was greater than the pain she felt. He pushed in more and they groaned together. Finally, when she felt his body flush with hers, she tightened her legs and said, “Love me.”
Their lips locked in a kiss, their tongues mating together just as their lower bodies were. Sarah marveled at each thrust, each movement of his manhood in her body. She felt him tighten and thrust harder and harder before groaning loudly.
When he collapsed on top
of her, she stroked his hair, now dewy with sweat, and kissed his forehead.
“Thank you for loving me,” she said softly.
“Always, my love. And I say thank you, to you, too, for being you, and for agreeing to marry me, and for giving me your maidenhead. I will cherish it forever.”
* * *
Hours later they lay in front of the fireplace, naked and wrapped in each other’s arms. They’d heated water to wash away the fluids from their first bout of lovemaking, and then they’d made love again, hard and fast, their bodies pumping together until they both cried out in pleasure.
This time Sarah felt a different stirring in her body. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she knew that it was extremely enjoyable. She wanted to ask Josh, but was too shy. Besides, what if he didn’t know? Did he feel the same way she did? When his manhood stiffened and delivered his seed into her body, what did it feel like?
“You’re awfully quiet,” he said in her ear. “Is something wrong?”
“No. I’m just thinking. It felt so wonderful, Joshua. I want to do it over and over again.”
“And we shall, my love, as soon as my shaft recovers. It needs time for more seed to build up.”
She laughed and buried her head in his chest.
“You’re embarrassed? I thought you enjoyed being with me.”
“I love it, but to hear you talk that way.” She bit her lower lip and looked at him. “May I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.” He kissed the tip of her nose.
“What does it feel like, when you shoot your seed into me. Does it feel different from when we are joined together?”
“Yes, it’s called an orgasm. A woman can feel it, too.”
“Truly? Even though she has no seed to deliver?”
“Yes. The way Win explained it to me is that it makes sex pleasurable, for both the man and the woman. For a man, the orgasm centers in his shaft and the scrotum. For a woman it centers in what is called her clitoris.”
Heart and Home: The MacAllister Brothers Page 27