I fervently hoped that he didn't mention this to her. Otherwise, she'd make good on her threat to out me about the pranzo ufficiale.
"It's great to see you, babe," he said as he crossed the room. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me in for a kiss.
For a second, I was seduced into an oblivious state by his touch. Then, remembering the resume, I arched my back like a cat so that his stomach wouldn't press against mine. As a result, his lips landed squarely on my nose.
Bradley pulled away and looked into my eyes. "Is everything okay?"
"Fine, fine," I said, thinking how ironic it was that even Pauline's résumé managed to drive a wedge between us.
Before I realized what was happening, he pulled me toward him again. As his body pressed against mine, there was a loud paper-crumpling sound.
He took a step back, his right arm still encircling my waist. "What was that?"
"Um," I said, racking my brains to think of a paper product I would have a logical reason for wearing around my mid-section—besides Depends. "It's a…new…maxi-maxi pad."
He stared my stomach and blinked.
"It goes up to the abdomen," I explained, feeling my cheeks flush. "For when you need that extra super protection."
"Oh," he said, as embarrassed as I was.
I glanced at my wrist—where a watch would have been if I'd been wearing one—and said, "Gosh! I need to go." And then using Veronica's lie as I rushed to the door, I added, "I just remembered that I was supposed to meet a client near the office at twelve fifteen."
"Wait a minute, Franki," he said in a stern tone.
I felt my stomach sink. He knew I was up to something. I turned to face him—and the consequences.
"Have dinner with me tomorrow night," he said softly with that familiar gleam in his eyes.
My knees went weak. I wanted to throw myself into his arms, but instead I smiled and nodded. Then I ran from the room, crinkling all the way.
* * *
Three hours and a wasted trip to Oleander Place later, I stomped up the three flights of stairs to Private Chicks and pushed open the door.
"Hey Franki," David said. He was sitting at his desk in the corner. "That package on the coffee table is for you."
"Awesome." I flopped down on the couch and picked up the cardboard box. "Hopefully someone sent me a rope to hang Delta with."
Veronica walked into the lobby from her office. "Why? What happened?"
"I just went to Oleander Place to talk to Scarlett, but when I got there I found a note saying the plantation had closed early. So I just blew three hours of my afternoon for nothing, and now I have to go back out there again tomorrow."
"That's weird." Veronica put her hand on her hip. "Delta called a few minutes ago, but she didn't mention that."
I narrowed my eyes. "She wasn't at the plantation, was she?"
"She didn't say. She was calling to let us know that the medical examiner said Ivanna died from respiratory failure."
"Do we know the cause?" I asked.
"Well, here's where it gets interesting. Ivanna didn't have any health conditions or injuries, which means that we're looking at a possible drug overdose. Or poisoning."
"Wow." I shook my head. "Then there's a possibility that Ivanna was poisoned—like Evangeline."
David spun around in his chair to face me. "Dude, that would be insane."
"That's one way to describe it," I said, staring at the box in my lap. "I hope they're testing for oleander."
"I would imagine they are at this point," Veronica replied, handing me a letter opener from David's desk.
I started slicing through the tape on the box. "This is just a thought, but Adam would know how to extract the poison from oleander."
Veronica took a seat beside me. "Yeah, but you don't have to be a scientist to poison someone with oleander. Evangeline is a perfect example of that. Whoever poisoned her just boiled oleander leaves in her tea."
I opened the box and stared inside. Then I turned to Veronica, my eyes wide with disbelief.
"What is it?" she asked.
"A pineapple."
"What?"
"In the package. It's a whole pineapple."
Veronica leaned over and looked inside. "Who sent it?"
I pointed to the outside of the box. "There's no sender name or address."
"David, who delivered this?" Veronica asked, visibly upset.
He shrugged. "It was by the front door when I got here."
I removed the pineapple and saw a typed note at the bottom of the box. I picked it up and read aloud, You've worn out your welcome, Miss Franki.
"Huh?" David said. "I don't get it."
"Actually, it's pretty clear," I replied in a surprisingly calm tone considering that my heart was hammering my rib cage. "It's a Southern-style threat to stay away from the Ivanna Jones case."
CHAPTER TEN
I arrived at Private Chicks at ten the next morning, exhausted and on edge. Following the shock of the package, I barely slept a wink. It seemed like I'd had the same nightmare all night long. I'd been pushed into a vat of fruit cocktail at the Dole pineapple plantation and was about to be canned alive.
Given the uncertainty of the situation, I kept an eye out for suspicious items as I climbed the stairs. Then I scoured every inch of the office. I felt kind of silly about being wigged out over a pineapple, but after yesterday, I was never going to look at the spiny fruit the same way again.
I'd just pressed start on my laptop when, out of nowhere, Veronica popped her head around the doorjamb.
"You okay?" she asked.
After prying myself off the ceiling, I replied, "How would you feel if you'd received the Southern equivalent of a severed horse head in your bed?"
She pursed her lips and took a seat in front of my desk. "I know you're upset. Believe me, I am too. But a pineapple isn't exactly a Godfather-caliber threat."
"Then I should feel good about the fact that I was threatened by an old-school Southerner rather than a mobster?"
"I'm just saying that I think it was a scare tactic. You should definitely be careful, but I don't believe you're in any real danger."
I cast her a sideways look. "All I know is that the next time I get a pineapple, it had better be on top of a piña colada."
Veronica gave a half smile. "So, who do you think sent it?"
"Scarlett comes to mind." I hugged my knees to my chest. "She's the one who told me what the pineapple symbolized in the Old South."
"She wouldn't set herself up like that."
"I'm not so sure. She didn't strike me as the brightest bustle dress on the plantation. But I do think Miles is also a possible culprit."
Veronica examined a fingernail. "Have you considered Adam?"
"If it was Adam, then he's connected to someone at Oleander Place. Whoever sent it had to know about the incident between Delta and Scarlett."
"Not necessarily. Remember, I told him that Oleander Place is our client. And Louisiana is plantation country, so the pineapple custom is well known here. In fact, you can buy pineapple merchandise at kitchen and gift shops all over the state."
"I don't know." I rested my chin on my knee. "It would be quite a coincidence for Adam to send a pineapple without knowing what went down."
"Mornin', miladies!" David exclaimed in a British accent as he appeared in the doorway.
I jumped out of my seat and almost out of my skin.
His face wrinkled in confusion. "Did I scare you, Franki?"
"Nah," I scoffed, picking up my overturned chair.
"We didn't hear your signature door slam," Veronica said.
"Oh! I get it now." He laughed, his head bobbing with each "ha." "I didn't close the door. My vassal did."
Veronica smirked. "Whatever your vassal is, I like it."
"It's a he." David puffed out his chest. "He's, like, my servant."
A short young man with hair slicked to one side and round, coke-bottle glasses stepped fro
m behind David's lanky frame. "'Vassal' is a medieval term for a type of servant."
"Silence, vassal!" David commanded. Then he turned to Veronica. "My fraternity gave him to me. He's a freshman pledge, so he has to do my bidding for the day."
"What kind of fraternity is this?" I asked. "A feudal one?"
"Uh, that would be fairly ridiculous," David replied. "It's, like, a comp sci frat."
The vassal leaned forward. "I wanted to major in Radio, Television, and Film, but my parents wouldn't let me."
David stared open-mouthed at the young man. "Vassal, must I flog thee?"
"David!" Veronica rose to her feet and put her hands on her hips. "There will be no flogging in this office, do you understand?"
"Yes, ma'am. I mean, mademoiselle." He bowed his head. "But I wasn't really going to flog him. Honest."
I held up my hand. "Okay, enough about fraternities, feudalism, and flogging. I need you to do a background check for me ASAP on a woman named Pauline Violette."
David's head shot up. "Yo, she sounds hot."
The vassal nodded vigorously, careful to keep his lips sealed.
"Well, she's not," I snapped.
"Right," David said, bowing his head again. "I'll get to work on that now."
"You do that," I said.
David scurried from the room, but the vassal stood there looking at me, slack-jawed.
I realized that he was probably waiting for his orders, so I used a language I knew he would understand, Shakespearean English. "Be off with thyself, vassal!"
He turned and fled.
Veronica stared after him, shaking her head. Then she turned to me. "I see you've stepped up your investigation of Pauline."
"I have, starting with the résumé I snagged from Bradley's desk yesterday."
"Nice work," she said with an appreciative nod. "What's the plan?"
"I'm going to contact her previous employers to see what I can find out."
"Most Human Resources offices won't tell you anything without a signed release from Pauline."
"I know, but I'm hoping I'll get lucky and talk to an unprofessional ex-boss. Most bosses are jerks, you know."
Veronica lowered her eyelids.
"Not you, of course," I hurried to add. "Anyway, there are a few things about her résumé that are interesting." I pulled the document from a file in my desk. "For example, she worked at two different banks in New York in a short period of time, and then she did some freelance modeling."
"So?"
"Well," I began, frustrated that she couldn't see the gaping issues, "why'd she leave the two banks so fast?"
"From the sound of it, because she wanted to be a model."
"Sure, but was that really lucrative enough for her to be able to live in New York for a year? Probably not, because she's not doing it anymore."
She shrugged. "Maybe her family helped support her."
"Okay, then why, after she quit modeling, would she take a bank job in New Orleans and not in New York? That's where all her contacts were."
"Because she wanted to get out of the city, more than likely. New York is famous for burning people out."
I frowned. Maybe there were logical explanations for my questions, but my instinct was telling me that there was more to the résumé than met the eye. "Well, I still say it's worth looking into. I'm going to start by calling…" I scanned the page for the bank Pauline had mentioned. "That's weird."
"What?"
"The bank she told me she worked for in New York isn't listed."
Veronica smiled, her eyes sparkling. "Now that is interesting."
* * *
I hung up the phone and looked out my office window. Rain clouds had moved in and turned the sky an ominous black. Just like my mood.
I shivered and zipped up my hoodie. Then I went into the kitchen and poured myself some much-needed French roast. I'm pretty sure my Italian cappuccino mug was offended.
"How's the investigation going?" Veronica asked as she entered and pulled a container of chopped vegetables from the refrigerator.
"Well, it took me half an hour to figure out that Brehman Bank is spelled with an h. Then I spent another forty-five minutes on hold with HR only to be told that I needed the signed release form."
"That's what I was afraid of." She took a bite out of a radish.
I grimaced. I was convinced that radishes were as poisonous as the oleander flower. Then I began spooning my customary five tablespoons of sugar—unrefined, of course—into my coffee.
She popped the rest of the radish into her mouth. "Did you call the two banks that were on the résumé?"
I nodded. "Same thing. I need Pauline's signature to get any info."
The lobby bell buzzed.
"Is David still here?" I asked, stirring my coffee sugar sludge.
"He made the vassal drive him to class."
"At least the vassal went with him this time." I picked up my mug. "I'll go see who it is."
I walked into the lobby and saw Chandra. She was standing by the door in a white plastic rain poncho that did nothing for her dough-ish figure. "Hey, Chandra. What brings you to Private Chicks?"
Her jewelry jingled as she pulled the poncho over her head and smoothed her over-styled do. "That spirit came to me again."
"She did?" I sat down on the couch, cradling my coffee cup. I hated to admit it, but I was excited.
"Uh-huh, and she was calm this time," Chandra said, flopping down beside me. "Maybe it was because Lou and I were in our yard, enjoying nature. It's planting season, you know, and he just installed a sprinkler system in my flowerbeds." She stared at her chubby flip-flopped feet, which were dangling over the edge of the sofa. "Being married to a plumber certainly has its advantages."
"I'm sure." There was something to be said for a lifetime of good water pressure and unclogged toilets. "But what about the spirit?"
"Well, this year I wanted to plant moonflowers and starflowers, but they're both white. So Lou insisted we add a touch of color. He just loves bright things, that one. He picks out all my outfits," she said, gesturing toward her yellow sunburst-themed T-shirt and bright orange short shorts.
"How romantic," I said, picturing a stocky, balding man with a closet full of Hawaiian shirts. "But what does any of this have to do with the spirit?"
She put a hand on my arm. "I'm getting there. Be patient."
Patient? I thought. Who has time for that?
"Anyway, Lou went to the nursery to get the plants. And I had him get some extra mulch and fertilizer too."
I was seriously starting to worry that planting season would be over by the time she finished this story.
"And do you know what he came back with?"
"Um, the stuff you asked for?"
"Impatiens."
Go figure. "I still don't see what this has to do with the spirit."
Chandra sighed. "They were pink, exactly like the flowers at Oleander Place."
I placed my mug on the coffee table. Now we were getting somewhere.
"I didn't notice the similarity of the pink, but the spirit sure did. She came to me on the spot and told me to warn you about Oleander Place. She said that it may seem like a welcoming place, but it's downright inhospitable. Dangerous even."
"Yeah, I've gotten that message," I said, thinking of the pineapple package.
Thunder rumbled in the sky, as though underscoring my precarious position.
"She also said not to be fooled by the oleander flowers."
I leaned forward. "What did she mean by that?"
"How should I know?" Chandra pulled a family-sized bag of Zapp's New Orleans Kettle-Style Voodoo chips from her Chanel bag.
"Um, because you're the medium who talked to her?" I suggested, observing the bag with a certain interest—the Zapp's, not the Chanel.
"It's not my job to interpret messages. I'm only supposed to relay them. That's what 'medium' means."
She had me there. It was up to me to decipher the meaning.
But was the spirit telling me that oleander had nothing to do with the case? There was only one way to find out. "Listen, I wish you would reconsider coming out to the plantation."
Chandra nibbled on a chip. "I have."
"Really?" My stomach rumbled as I watched her chew. I wanted some chips. With a ham po' boy. And a slice of bourbon pecan pie. Or just the bourbon.
"After the spirit came to me in the flowerbed I said to myself, 'Now Chandra, it's just plain silly to be scared of spirits. You came to The Crescent City to serve them. They're your cosmic clients.'" She bit into another chip.
I licked my lips. "That's so true."
"Then I said, 'Chandra, the spirits will keep you safe. The only one in danger here is Franki.' And that made me feel better about everything."
Gee, me too. "So, can you go to Oleander Place with me later this afternoon?"
"With the lunar eclipse coming, I've got clients practically beating down my door."
I imagined a pack of half-men, half-werewolves trying to claw their way into her tiny office.
"But I suppose I can make some time tomorrow before noon." She rose to her feet and gathered her bags. "I never do business during lunchtime."
"That's a good policy," I said, consulting the lobby clock. I had just enough time to run over to Tracey's bar in the Irish Channel for that po' boy. And some gravy cheese fries. I ushered her to the door and said, "I'll pick you up at your office at ten."
"Okay." She stepped into the stairwell. "But make sure you bring a hundred bucks. Cash."
As the door closed behind her, lightening lit up the room like a kind of meteorological exclamation point.
I collapsed onto the couch, certain that the weather—or maybe the spirit—was mocking me. One hundred dollars was a lot to pay for something as unscientific as a psychic reading. But I told myself it was worth the price to see what Chandra would discover at the plantation—provided that she wasn't a fraud, of course. I wanted to find out the identity of the spirit that was contacting her and that of the blonde in the pink crinoline dress she'd seen in her crystal ball. It had to be either Evangeline or Ivanna, and I needed to know which.
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