by Sophie Stern
"No need, Charlotte. You can finish your date. Everything's fine and under control. There's nothing you can do here. I'll call you in the morning with an update or you can come by after 8:00 when visiting hours begin."
"But-"
"Charlotte," Colby is firm with me. "I'm staying with Anna and the hospital won't let anyone else in tonight." Then his voice softens, "I know you're worried, especially after your mom. I promise I'm not going to let anything happen to your baby sister. You know me, Charlie. I'll take good care of her."
I realize that he's right. It's late and there's nothing I can do. I'm not a doctor. I'm not even a nurse. I mumble something in agreement and hang up the phone. August looks concerned.
"It's Anna," I tell him, putting my phone on the end table.
"Is everything okay?" He places his hands on either side of my face, forcing me to look at him. I feel tears welling up inside and I bite them back. August has seen me behave in many, many dorky ways this weekend. I really don't feel like letting him see me cry right now. Not tonight. Not when we were so close to having an incredibly intimate time together.
"It's fine," I wave him off, turning my face so he can't see my eyes. "Nothing's wrong. Just...nothing. Don't worry about it."
"Charlotte," his voice is firm. "What's wrong?"
I turn back to August. This man is incredible. He's the most patient, most insistent, most kind man I've ever met. And somehow, I know that when he promises me everything is going to be okay, I'm going to believe him. And somehow, I know that I need to make him say those words.
"It's Anna," I tell him. The tears start to flow now. "She's pregnant and they thought there was a problem with the baby, but she's okay now, but I can't go see her at the hospital until tomorrow." I bury my face in his shoulder and start sobbing like a little child. He holds me close to him and strokes my hair.
And then he says the magical words I've been waiting to hear him say, the ones that I absolutely do believe when they cross his lips.
"Everything is going to be okay."
August holds me until I stop crying. Then he pulls me onto his lap and holds me more. We aren't kissing. We aren't being sexual. He's just offering me the comfort that I so desperately need and he's doing it without expecting anything in return. Somehow this makes me even more attracted to him. Somehow this makes me crave him even more than I already do.
Finally, I pull away. It's late. I have to be up early in the morning to get in to work, to hear how everything goes with Jason, to find out that everything I've been working toward at Southvale Community College has been for nothing. I have to get up early and stop by the hospital. I have to make sure that Anna's okay. I have a million and one things to do tomorrow and for what feels like the thousandth time, I find myself wishing my mother was here.
She always knew just what to do.
Somehow, though, as I nestle my head deeper into August's chest, I realize that sometimes other people can be helpful, too. Sometimes other people can be kind. Sometimes they can be caring. Sometimes they can be everything we need and then they can be a little bit more.
"I should go," I murmur, but I don't really want to. I'm not sure if he senses my desire to stay or if he's just being selfish, but August shakes his head.
"No," he says. "You should stay here tonight. You don't need to be alone in that big ol' house by yourself, not like this."
I don't even have the energy to protest as August leads me upstairs. I expect that he'll take me into his room, but he doesn't. He leads me to his guest room, the one where I stayed before. I shoot him a questioning glance, but he just shrugs.
"You'll sleep better alone, Beautiful. I'm right down the hall if you need me."
I pull off my clothes, everything except my panties, and slide beneath the covers of the bed. August tucks me in and gently kisses my forehead.
"What time do you need to get up?" He asks, but I'm already drifting off. I hear him plug my phone into a charger and I silently thank him for being so thoughtful. Then he leaves the room, closes the door, and I hear him pad softly down the hall.
14
When I open my eyes, I'm not alone. There's a woman in the corner of my room, placing some clothes on the dresser. She turns when she hears me stirring. Her face looks concerned.
"I'm so sorry to wake you," she says quickly, but I just wave her apology away. She looks to be in her mid-60s. She's round, plump, and grandmotherly. While I haven't met her before, she seems kind. Her eyes twinkle and I see years of wisdom hidden behind them.
"It's okay," I sit up before realizing that I don't have a shirt on and bashfully pull the sheets up. If she notices my breasts, which she obviously does, the woman says nothing.
"I'm Annabelle," she says quickly. "Mr. Mason asked me to pick you up a few things," she nods to the clothes.
"Wow," I'm honestly shocked about the clothing. I shouldn't be, but August's thoughtfulness seems to know no bounds. Now I won't have to go home to hurry up and change before I go to the hospital. I can just shower, dress, and leave. "Thank you," I finally manage to spit out. I wonder what time it is or how early she had to get up to go shopping.
"It's no bother," the woman says, as if reading my mind. "I just stopped at the store on my way in." She turns to go, but pauses and says, "I'm going to make breakfast for Mr. Mason. If you'd like to have something after your shower, there will be plenty to eat before you leave."
"Thanks, Annabelle." My stomach growls in response and we both laugh. Then she leaves me to myself and I hop out of bed. I don't bother looking at the clothes before I climb into the shower. Something tells me that they'll fit perfectly. August is probably the most observant person I've ever met. I'm guessing he knows exactly what size I wear.
I shower quickly, my thoughts more concerned with getting to Anna than on getting clean, but I manage to shave and wash my hair before I hop out, hurriedly dry myself, and throw on the clothes. There's a pair of dress pants with a navy blue blouse, along with a pair of lace black panties and a matching bra.
"Trying to tell me something, August?" I mumble to myself as I throw the clothing on. My shoes from yesterday go perfectly with the outfit, and part of me can't believe how thoughtful he is. I run a brush through my hair, grab my phone, and head downstairs to try to eat. Even if I find that I can't stomach food, I'm going to need some coffee before I can face the world today.
Just one cup, I tell myself.
When I reach the kitchen, I hear August's loud chuckle radiating across the room. He's perched on the edge of the counter eating a plate full of food. Annabelle is in front of the stove, telling him a story. They both stop and turn when I walk inside, and I'm suddenly shy. I offer up a quiet smile and August waves me in.
"Come on it," he says. Then he looks me up and down. "You look amazing. Great choice, Annabelle."
"Not my first time shopping," she winks at me, and turns back to the food. I'm guessing that Annabelle is August's housekeeper or cook, but she's more than that. I had asked him about a housekeeper the last time I was here, but he made it seem like he didn't have someone. Maybe she only comes on certain days.
"Annabelle comes over on weekday mornings," August explains. Again with the mindreading. "She says it’s to make sure that I'm eating, but I think she just likes to see me without my shirt on."
She glances at his rippling abs and rolls her eyes. "It's true," she winks at me. "He is quite the looker. If I were 20 years younger..." She lets out a dreamy sigh and now I'm the one laughing. August is blushing as we both giggle in his kitchen, but I can tell that he feels comfortable around both of us. The way he's still sitting on the counter like a teenager makes me smile. I love how natural and real I feel around him.
I love how lusty I feel around him.
"Thank you for the clothes," I say finally, glancing down at myself again. August's right: I look really good. I dress somewhat professionally for my job, but I feel like this outfit in particular makes me look about ten years older and
much more experienced than I actually am. "It was really thoughtful."
I catch August's eye and hold his gave for a few moments, letting it sink in just how much I appreciate his thoughtfulness. Part of me wishes that Annabelle wasn't here so I could fall to my knees and rip those pajama pants off August's muscled body. He wouldn't know what hit him as I slid that hard dick down my throat. I love giving blowjobs and it's been a long time since I did. August has definitely earned himself some deep-throat-make-me-gag oral sex and I'm just the dirty girl to give it to him.
Suddenly, August clears his throat and I realize that I was staring at what I want, probably pretty obviously. I blush and try to look back at his eyes, but I can't. He just laughs and I roll my eyes.
"Sorry," I say, finally. He just continues to smile.
I pour myself a cup of coffee and settle down at the counter, making myself comfortable on one of August's stools. Annabelle puts a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast in front of me.
"Thanks!" I practically shout it. The food looks so good and I feel a quick pang of sadness when I think of how my mom used to make me breakfast.
"I'm going to go start the laundry," Annabelle smiles as she pats me on the shoulder. "It was lovely to meet you, Charlotte." As she walks back through the kitchen, I hear her whisper to August, "Don't screw this up."
And I'm suddenly filled with happiness at the idea that she can tell just how much he likes me. I manage to finish my food without making a fool of myself, without audibly worrying too much about Amy. I need to check on her. Even though it doesn’t make sense, I feel like a bad sister for being gone when she needs me most.
I know in reality that Amy doesn’t view me pursuing some sort of weird relationship with August as a betrayal, but I should have been there for her. What kind of sister goes out gallivanting (yes, gallivanting) with guys when her little sis is pregnant?
“She understands, you know,” August says, watching me from across the room.
“I know.”
“You look like you’re beating yourself up, honey,” he says quietly. I just shake my head. He couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to be me. August has lived this perfect life with everything catered to him. He even has people he can have go shopping for him before he’s even out of bed.
What do I have?
A dead mom and a pregnant sister I constantly let down.
“Trust me,” his voice is low now. “If you spend your life always worried about pleasing people, you’re going to be miserable.”
“I let her down,” I say. “I should have been there when it happened.”
“You couldn’t have known she was going to start having trouble, Charlotte.”
I know I should believe him. I don’t want to, though. Hating myself is so much easier than accepting that sometimes, life is out of our control. Why does it have to be? Ever since my mom got sick, it’s been impossible to control anything. Now my sister is moving on with her life, my job is awful, and my relationship with August is fluctuating from super hot to super cold.
We haven’t even slept in the same room.
I finish my coffee and we talk quietly until I’m done. I know he’s trying to encourage me, but a small part of me just wants to be miserable right now.
After breakfast, August walks me to my car and kisses me goodbye. He kisses me deeply, then softly, letting me know without words how important I am to him. His kiss is reassuring, reminding me that no matter what I face today, I'll be okay. I have a lot to deal with and I haven't forgotten any of it. Somehow, though, knowing August thinks I'm strong means the world to me.
There have been many times over the past few months where I've felt anything but strong. Standing over my mother's body at her funeral, watching my sister cry her heart out, I felt like I was going to break. Hearing for the first time that Anna and Colby were bringing a baby into the world, I felt like I was cracking. And when Anna told my dad that he was going to be a grandfather, I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
But I didn't.
Everything was okay.
Even now, as I stand by my car, somehow trying to find the words to say goodbye to this ravishingly handsome man, I can't help but wonder what he sees in me. I feel weak. I feel like crying. I feel like the entire world is crashing down around me and there's no one to save me. But he just looks in my eyes, and just that brazen stare reminds me that he thinks I'm something special.
He thinks I'm brave.
"Everything's going to be fine today," he promises, reading my nerves. I nod. Part of me believes him. There's another part of me that just feels terrified of what's going to happen when I see my sister at the hospital. There's a part of me that's horrified at the thought of my career completely flopping today.
All of me is shaking. All of me is on edge.
I slide into the car and start the engine, glancing just once more at August's smiling face, soaking it all up for strength. Then I disappear down the road, making my way back to Southvale. The highway is empty, which isn't unusual. It's early and there's no such thing as "rush hour" in small towns. I flip on the radio and try not to tear up when song after song is about heartbreak or loss.
That's everything I don't need right now.
My phone beeps but I barely register it as I pull into the hospital parking lot. When I reach the double doors, I finally glance down and see that it's from August.
Let me know how it goes.
I smile and shove the phone in my pocket. He's still thinking of me. Even though I didn't put out, even though we slept in separate rooms, even though I ruined our "date," he's still thinking of me.
Part of me feels like August Mason is just too damn good to be true.
I make my way to the information desk, where a disgruntled, frumpy woman is playing a game on her phone. It must be pretty intense since she doesn't look up, even when I clear my throat.
Loudly.
"Excuse me?" I finally say.
"Yep?" She raises an eyebrow, but doesn't look up.
"Um," I glance around, wondering if there's anyone else who can help me. "My sister was admitted last night. Can you tell me the room number, please? Anna Ryan."
"You related?"
Seriously?
"Yes, she's my sister," I repeat.
The woman sighs and puts down her phone.
"Spell the last name," she says, pulling up to the computer. I oblige, and she scrolls through a few screens, clicks a few buttons, and then gives me directions to Anna's room.
"Check in with the maternity nurse first," the woman says, but I'm already down the hall and hurrying. After I find the maternity ward, check in with the nurse, and finally get to Anna's room, I'm surprised to see that she's dressed and sitting up at the edge of her bed.
"Anna!" I practically fall on top of her, wrapping my arms around her. I breathe her in: all 120 pounds of her. My sister is scrawny and petite and I swear hasn’t gained a single pound since she got pregnant. She’s perfect.
“Hey now, hey,” she says, hugging me back tightly. “It’s okay. We’re both fine.” She pats her belly to emphasize her point. “Just a little scare.”
I stare at her for what feels like an eternity, silently asking for reassurance. I know she’s okay. I know in my head that she’s okay. Colby was there to take care of her. He always is. He’s her one and only, but part of me still feels guilty that I wasn’t there when she needed someone. Part of me feels bad that it was Colby she ran to instead of me.
“Don’t even think it, Charlie,” she says quietly. She’s reading my mind.
“I should have been there,” I say.
“Colby was there, hon. Everything was fine. You don’t need to worry about your little sis so much.” She smiles again and hugs me tighter. Then she pulls away and looks at me seriously.
“Charlotte, I know this has been hard on you. I know everything has been hard on you. It’s been hard on me, too, but she’s not coming back. Worrying about me isn’t
going to bring her back. It’s not going to make you not miss her.”
I choke back my tears and nod fervently.
I know that she’s right.
“It’s just, I-“
“It’s okay for you to live your life, Charlotte. August’s a great guy.” She puts her hand on top of mine and rubs softly, giving me even more reassurance that everything is going to be fine. She’s right, I know. August really is amazing. He makes me excited and wet and on fire. He makes me feel more alive than I’ve felt in a very, very long time.
He makes me feel whole.
“Now,” Anna continues, leaning back on the bed and crossing her ankles, “I want you to tell me everything. Dish.”
“What?” I laugh. “There’s nothing to tell!”
“You mean you didn’t?” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and I wish I had a pillow to throw at her.
“No, I didn’t.” Then I add, “I would have. I was going to.”
“But then I called?”
I laugh. “Yeah, great timing, kiddo.”
Colby comes into the room just then, followed by a nurse. They’re both grinning.
“Hey!” Colby hugs me before turning to Anna. “Great news. You can go home now.”
“About fucking time,” Anna grabs her bag, then turns to the nurse. “Sorry. You were awesome. I’m just ready to be in my own bed.”
“I understand,” the nurse seems to be fighting back a giggle. “I just need you to sign your discharge papers. Then you can get going.”
The three of us leave the hospital together and I give Anna one more hug before deciding that I should go to work.
“Hey, Charlie,” Colby says as I turn to leave. “I was thinking, if it’s okay with you…” He shuffles his feet. He’s nervous. Really? Since when is Colby nervous? I get me and Anna being socially awkward, but Colby? He always has it together. “I was wondering if Anna could stay with me for a few days. I took the week off from work. I’d like to take care of her.”
I grin. Anna has no idea how lucky she is. “Of course, Colby. That’s really sweet of you, though you’re always welcome at our place if you think you guys might want a little extra space.” Colby lives in a small apartment with his roommate. Even though the guy is out of town all the time, it’s still pretty cramped.