by West, Cara
He hadn't gone to fat, that much was evident. He still had the lean swimmer's body he'd cultivated in college. But then, why shouldn't he, when his home was equipped with lap pool and weight room? Physical conditioning had always been an integral part of his life.
The Texas sun had tanned him golden, but Megan wondered if it hadn't finally begun to age him. Were the grooves in his forehead etched a little more prominently? Was his mouth settling more deeply under his patrician nose? Was there a hint of silver mixed with the blond on his head?
Megan took a quick breath when she realized she was comparing this Nate to the Nate of her childhood. A brash young hunk who, along with Sam, had teased her unmercifully. Who'd once thrown her kicking and screaming into Barton Springs Pool.
She'd thought she looked so grown-up in her modest bikini. Nate had treated her like the bratty kid she'd been.
A corner of Megan's mouth curved up at the memory. "Bratty" was an understatement. Nate and Sam had been sweet even to let her tag along. When she'd seen Nate sizing up one of the pool's nubile beauties, Megan had thrown a royal hissy fit.
She'd always hated it when he began a new dalliance. Even the last time she'd seen him at Sam's wedding, he'd managed to pick up the most glamorous woman there.
Remembering, she waited for the old gut-wrenching jealousy. But her insides stayed placid. Maybe this sojourn in Italy had worked the magic she'd hoped for. Maybe—at last—she could put away her childish cravings and care for Nate the way he'd always cared for her.
Studying him now, she had to admit that he was good-looking enough to quicken any woman's pulse. Yet she felt a curious detachment about his physical perfection, more like the way she accepted her brother's good looks.
She felt the beginnings of triumph.
"What are you grinning about?"
So, okay, he still had the ability to startle her.
"Nothing, really," she said, and folded her arms. "You will let me reimburse you for my plane ticket, won't you?" She had been waiting for the opportunity to broach the subject. She had a feeling he might be touchy about it.
Instead, he faced her with a smug expression. "I put both tickets on the firm's credit card. If you want to reimburse someone, talk to your brother. After all, he pays half the company expenses."
Damn. Nate had her and he knew it. There was no way she would try to foist money off on Sam or Jenny, especially in light of the reason for the ticket.
She settled back in defeat.
"How have you been?" she asked, starting anew. "You look fit, as usual."
"I'm fine, thank you."
She waited for him to return the compliment. When he didn't, she put aside her disappointment.
"Are you still doing your daily laps?" she asked, realizing the conversation had become stilted. But what could she expect after three years and their history? They were both probably leery of opening old wounds.
"When I can make time for them," he answered.
"Mmm. Sounds like—" she probed gently "—you're as much a workaholic as ever."
"Someone has to be. Sam's almost useless now that Caroline's made her appearance."
Megan knew by his tone that his grumbling was an act. Jenny had written that Nate was almost as besotted as Sam with the new addition to their family. Although Megan would have to see that with her own eyes to believe it.
"Actually Jenny tells me in her letters that the company is doing very well."
"It is," Nate admitted with a touch of pride. "This year, we've designed and sold machines on every continent."
"It sounds like you and Sam have hit the big time."
"We could, if we decided to sell shares and go public."
"Have you?"
"Not yet." Nate warmed to his topic, "I don't think we're ready to. When we are, it'll depend on how much capital we need to expand. We don't want to lose control of the company's direction, so we'd want to retain the majority of the stock."
Megan nodded.
"We're starting to look attractive to the big guys," he continued. "We've had offers to buy us out by two major conglomerates."
"You're not thinking of selling, are you?" She was shocked at the notion.
Nate laughed and shook his head. "Not a chance. Sam and I have big plans for the future."
It was the answer she expected to hear from Nate.
Women might enter and exit his life with boring regularity, but his commitment to the firm he and Sam had founded was absolute and long-standing.
Megan was called back once more by the sound of Nate's voice.
"Sam's just designed a machine that will blow away the competition. It produces twice the product in half the time."
"I'm glad to know," she said, "that Grant-Kittridge Engineering is on the cutting edge of ice-cream manufacturing technology."
At one time a teasing dig from her might have riled Nate. Now he just grinned. "It's a messy job but someone has to do it."
"Have you been in Germany before? I mean, lately," Megan asked, giving in to impulse for the first time. "Mom and Jenny never mentioned it."
For the first time, his eyes avoided hers. "I've flown over a few times. Always on business."
"You could've called me."
He met gaze again. "I wasn't sure you'd want me to."
"Maybe I wouldn't have at first." She met his look head-on. "But that didn't last."
"I had the feeling when you left Austin, you were glad to see the last of me."
"I know. I acted badly at the wedding."
He held on to her gaze and asked the question she'd dreaded. "Why did you cut me off that day?"
Suddenly she needed to protect those earlier tender feelings. "Nate... I wasn't thinking clearly. It was too soon after the accident. And you and Sam could be awfully bossy and heavy-handed."
"We were just trying to see that you reached the ripe old age of twenty-five.''
Patting his hand, she said, "And I very much appreciate your efforts."
"That's a change from three years ago."
"You see, I'm all grown-up—"
"I've noticed."
"—and understand the error of my ways."
"You did almost get yourself killed the minute you left our jurisdiction."
"I know. And for that, I'm properly contrite."
His laughter vibrated through her. She interpreted the effects of it as pleasure that she'd eased his somber mood.
"I can't imagine you contrite about anything," he said after a moment.
"See? That shows how much I've matured since you last saw me."
"Is that so?" His look was ironic.
"You'd be surprised," she countered, and cocked a shoulder, giving in to an urge to show off.
For a moment she thought he'd take her up on her challenge. When he didn't, she felt a tiny bit dissatisfied.
Instead, he returned to an earlier topic. "Believe me, I won't ever say 'I told you so' again. I hereby resign as heavy-handed brother."
"Do you plan on a more avuncular role?"
"No! No." He laughed, apparently in reaction to his own adamant denial. "I have no inclination to be your uncle." He sent her a brief speculative look.
She wasn't sure she'd ever seen it before, at least not aimed in her direction.
Yet even as she watched, the look faded into something enigmatic before his features were softened by kindness. "For now, just call me a friend of the family."
She was reminded of why they were together on the plane. "You've been a good friend to me during this crisis. I don't know how to thank you."
"You just have."
"Not adequately. I may never be able to. And, Nate—"
"What?"
"I also want to say I'm sorry."
He stared at her blankly. "What on earth for?"
"I didn't tell you at the wedding..."
"You didn't say a word to me. You avoided me like the plague." His words were tinged with bitterness.
"But there was some
thing I wanted to say." Megan laid her hand over his. "Jenny told me how shaken you were about the accident. Before you heard that I was alive."
His face grew bleak as he stared sightlessly before him. "It was one of the worst days of my life. I spent the whole time trying to imagine a world without you in it. I couldn't."
Tears came to Megan's eyes. "What a lovely thing to say."
"It didn't feel lovely at the time. It felt like hell."
"I know. I'm sorry I put you through the ordeal."
He must have realized how ragged he'd sounded, because he said his next words with deliberate equanimity, "I accept your apology—on one condition."
"What's that?"
"It doesn't happen again."
Megan smiled, still shaken by his rare display of emotion. She consciously injected a light note into what she said next. "I'll try my best, sir. Believe it or not, I've become pretty good at taking care of myself."
"I'm beginning to realize that."
"And confess, you've all done very well without me these past few years."
His expression grew hooded. "Not everyone would agree with you."
She pulled away warily. "You're not about to give me a lecture on family obligations, are you?"
"I wouldn't presume to. I've also resigned from my lectureship."
"Well—" she sighed gustily "—that's a welcome change from the old days. You were always sure you knew what was best for me, and you were always eager to tell me all about it."
"And now I'd be the first to admit I have no idea what's best for you, Megan."
Her eyes widened as she took in his measured words. Had she detected a hint of sadness?
"I realize now I never did," he added.
"Wow. Things really are different, if you can say that."
"Yes, they are, aren't they?" He smiled slightly. "I have a feeling the old days are gone for good."
Something in his quiet tone left her oddly disoriented. In fact, several times during the course of their conversation, she'd felt as though there were undercurrents she didn't understand.
It must be her exhaustion. She smiled at him cheerfully. "Gone for good," she repeated, folding her hands in her lap.
AT SOME POINT she must have fallen asleep, because when she drifted up from consciousness, she was nestled in the curve of Nate's body. He'd covered them both with a blanket to ward off the cabin's chill.
Her first instinct was to pull away, but she made herself stay and explore the sensations he evoked in her.
This was Nate's shoulder, broad and solid. This was his arm cradling her close. His hand lay casually along the sleeve of her blouse. His chest cushioned her torso. His thigh pressed against the side of her leg.
He felt comfortable and comforting. Strong. A man who knew how to care for people. It felt right that he should be caring for her.
But she didn't imagine she was in the arms of a lover. She felt none of the heat and pull of desire. Just a warmth and closeness—
"Megan, are you awake?"
His whisper sent a shiver down her spine. Funny how a male voice heard so close could stir a reaction.
"Wake up, sweetheart," he said a little huskily. "They're serving dinner. We're only a couple of hours out of Dallas. You've been out like a light."
As awareness and memory stirred, Megan automatically tensed.
He must have felt it because he gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before untangling himself.
She sat up and shook her head to clear it. "How long have we been flying?"
"Over ten hours. You okay?" he asked.
"Yes. I didn't mean to use you for a pillow."
"I didn't mind. It was a good way to conserve body heat." He shivered elaborately.
"Did you get any sleep?" she asked.
"Enough." He stood and stretched as though working the kinks out of his body.
Megan decided he hadn't been at all comfortable. Excusing herself, she made her way to a washroom for a fast repair job. When she returned to her seat, the stewardess had begun serving the meals. First class did have its perks, Megan thought. Too bad she couldn't enjoy them fully. Fears about her father had resurfaced, and she found she couldn't do justice to the prime roast beef.
Afterward, staring out the window, she tried to follow the contour of the land beneath them. Was that the Mississippi River they'd just crossed? It wouldn't be long before they'd be over Texas.
What would she find there? Would they be too late? What if she wasn't in time to let her dad know she'd come?
Megan felt her hand being taken, and she turned to find Nate watching her, his expression sympathetic. "Don't anticipate the worst," he said quietly.
"What gave me away?"
He wiped a tear from her cheek.
"I'm trying not to," she said. "It's just being in limbo, not knowing, that's hard."
"Andrew's a strong man. He has everything to live for."
"But what if... if... How will Mom go on? Dad's the center of her life."
"Molly's strong, too. She'll deal with whatever comes."
The tight control in Nate's voice clued Megan in to the depth of his feelings.
"I know how much Dad means to you." She touched Nate's sleeve impulsively.
He covered her hand with his. "It's not just that. I hate to see you so afraid."
"I'll be okay once we're there and I can help. It's not being able to do anything that's nerve-wracking, Nate," she smiled at him, "I really don't know how to thank you for everything you've done."
"You've already said that."
Megan blinked at his unexpected irritability.
He saw her bewilderment and spoke more gently. "I don't want more thanks. I'm just glad I was here to help."
"Bossy big brothers do have their virtues."
A look crossed his face that she found hard to read. "What? Did I insult you by implying you had a virtuous side?"
Shaking his head, he laughed. "Maybe I'm just not used to your bringing out my nobler instincts."
She gazed at him solemnly and said, "We used to bring out the worst in each other. Let's not do that anymore. Let's promise— "
"Promises are dangerous," he said with a crooked grin.
"Well, anyway, I promise not to act like a bratty kid around you."
He took a moment to survey her. "And I promise to treat you like the woman you've become."
"Sounds fair to me." She put out her hand for him to shake.
He took it and held it between his.
Megan had always loved Nate's hands. They were elegant yet capable. She found herself studying them as if they were a new discovery.
When she met his look again, a waiting stillness fell between them. Megan wasn't sure exactly what she was sensing. Neither could she decipher Nate's mood.
They'd probably have to build a whole new relationship—
Just then the captain's voice announced they'd be landing at DFW in fifteen minutes. Megan reclaimed her hand from Nate, and the pause between them dissolved into a blur of activity, as passengers readied themselves for disembarking.
Nate and Megan barely made it through customs in time for their connecting flight to Austin. Thirty minutes later they were circling Mueller Airport.
Megan peered out the window to find an evening sun painting the Austin skyline golden. But she couldn't really appreciate the sight. She was too busy trying to contain her jitters.
When she glanced over at Nate, she saw a look of grim concentration that probably mirrored her own.
Without questioning her motives, Megan squeezed Nate's hand.
When he returned the pressure, she understood why she'd done it. The intense affinity she felt with him was a balm to her nerves. The past few hours had forged a closeness between them. Whatever they faced, they faced it together.
CHAPTER TWO
THE MINUTE Megan and Nate entered the terminal, she spotted her brother and sister-in-law standing to one side of the welcoming crowd.
&nbs
p; Megan waved, and when Sam spotted it, he gave a weary grin. Megan knew then her father was still alive.
She must have been holding her breath, anticipating the worst, because the rush of relief she felt made her light-headed. She would have stumbled into another passenger if Nate hadn't taken hold of her elbow. He guided her through the crush toward Jenny and Sam. Jenny held out her arms, and Megan fell into them.
A long moment later, Megan turned to Sam. When he pulled her against his chest, Megan felt his momentary shudder.
She leaned back slightly. "How is he, Sam?"
"He... survived the surgery."
"What surgery?"
Nate detached himself from Jenny's arms and took hold of Megan's and Sam's shoulders. "Look, why don't we get out of this madhouse before we talk? You can fill us in on everything during the ride to the hospital."
"Good idea," Sam said, looking relieved.
"You take Jenny and Megan to the car," Nate went on. "I'll pick up the luggage and meet you at the curb."
Twenty minutes later, the four of them were speeding away from the airport, Sam at the wheel and Jenny beside him. Megan sat close to Nate in the back seat, his proximity a comfort.
There was a period of silence before Sam began to speak. "Dad's heart attack damaged the heart muscle, Megan. It also caused major trauma to his body."
"Was there brain damage?" Megan asked, voicing one of her fears. Andrew was a mathematics professor, and his mind was his livelihood.
"No," Sam said. "That's the good news."
"Tell us the bad news," Megan requested in a strained voice.
"All they could do in the beginning was work to stabilize his condition—the doctors weren't sure he was strong enough to survive surgery. But today he went into cardiac arrest."
"No!" Megan's voice was shrill with fear.
Sam took a deep breath. "They managed to bring him back. And that's when they decided to go in and repair what damage they could. They did a quadruple bypass. Right now he's on a heart-assist machine. It's the latest technology."