But Linda knew when a couple had chemistry, and it was clear there was none between the pair. “It’s no big deal because you’re not into Bernard as much you thought you would be?”
“He’s a great guy, Mommy.” Mariana defended. “He’s really sweet, he’s a great conversationalist, and we both have the same taste in music.”
“That’s great and all, but you didn’t answer my question, Mariana Lilian.”
“I’m into him, yes.” Mariana stuck her tongue out. “I thought Daddy was the detective, not you.”
“How’s Scott doing these days?” Linda asked.
“Um... uh... I guess he’s doing well,” Mariana stammered.
She knew he was doing well. Real well.
It seemed their breakup had made him look more gorgeous than before. He’d shaved the beard off and was completely clean-shaven, making him look more youthful than his thirty-six years. His dark hair was neatly trimmed and sometimes he showed up to work with a little bit of bedhead, which added to his allure. His suits outlined his muscular frame and the thought made Mariana’s panties moist with want for their afternoon quickies in his office.
What killed her, though, was how fluid Scott was towards her, as if they had never dated at all. There was nothing reminiscent in his eyes that they were ever intimate. Instead, he was friendly, maybe a bit too friendly. He asked her about her weekends, if she had seen any good movies lately... the typical small talk a boss would make to their employee or any other person in the office.
No preferential treatment. No casual requests to grab a cup of coffee together. No secret signals for a morning blow job underneath his desk. No codes for a hot BDSM scene while he was on a call.
Instead, everything boiled down to a friendly ‘hello’ and sometimes a ‘goodbye’. Sometimes. Mariana was lucky if she even saw Scott leave for the day. When he traveled for business meetings, Mariana stalked her cell phone to see if he would send a text letting her know that he’d arrived safely, or if he would complain about how bored he was during a meeting and was playing with an app on his phone instead, pretending to look busy.
She had to wait in the background and watch several of her colleagues try their best to fulfill the role that she left, though really, she was pushed out by Scott. Everything about Caprina was old news and her name wasn’t even mentioned any more. She mistakenly thought that would be the signal for Scott to return to her, to make things right with her, with them. That they would finally get married and she’d have his babies.
Then, nothing happened. Then, everything happened.
Over the years, Mariana couldn't remember what she did on her birthdays. It all seemed to blend in with each other. But last year’s birthday, she would never forget, despite how much she wished she would.
Her fling with Bernard turned into a full-blown relationship. Scott moved on to a woman that Mariana was neither impressed with nor intimidated by and had the most peculiar name she’d ever heard.
She wanted to hate him. She tried very hard to hate him. She couldn’t and she wouldn’t. Mariana hated that her brain loathed Scott but her heart was still in love with him.
Why couldn’t she hate her ex like other normal women? “Why do you ask?”
Linda grabbed her jacket and purse. “When I asked you about Bernard, your eyes had an empty look to them. When I just asked you about Scott, they lit up like a puppy that hasn’t seen its owner in a long time.”
“I’m over Scott, Mom,” Mariana explained, for probably the umpteenth time, to her mother. It didn’t matter that Mariana didn’t quite believe she was over Scott; she was trying to prove a point to her mother. “I’m with Bernard and that’s that. Besides, you even admitted that Bernard was more suitable for me.”
“I said Bernard would probably be a better fit; not that he is one.” Linda smiled. “I saw how you and Scott were at family gatherings. I saw how he made you feel like you were the only woman in the world and all he did was send a text message. I saw how big your smile became when you spoke about him and the things he was teaching you. Besides, with the way you’re speaking right now, I know everything I need to know about your relationship with Bernard.”
“Oh?” Mariana didn’t want to entertain her mother’s nosiness but even she was curious. “Which is what?”
“When I asked you about Bernard, instead of saying why he makes you happy and why you’re with him, you gave me generics. Me thinks you’re trying to convince yourself about Bernard, and not me.”
Two
Every thrust, it seemed, Scott’s cock fed her hungry sex. He took care of her desire, he listened to her needs. His mouth assaulted her neck as she rode him faster, her swollen nub rubbing against his cock. She wanted to feel him deeper, buried so deep inside her. Her body was pressed against his and Mariana wanted to get closer and closer to him. She moved faster against his cock, wanting to get to the orgasm which seemed so far away.
Under the stars, their bodies became one. There was no him or her... it was just them. They rocked in unison, feeding and begging each other with their lips, tongues, and bodies. Every thrust was a new level of intimacy, of love, of commitment they had for each other.
When Mariana finally came, her head was thrown back and her body became stiff. The orgasm shot straight through her body from her toes, to her back, to her head. Oh, how wonderful and delicious it felt at the same time. “Oh, fuck, honey...” she moaned as she began the descent to reality. “Oh, fuck...”
“You okay, Mari?” B. rubbed her back.
Mariana quickly blinked and the memory faded into the background. “Yeah. Why?”
“You kept mumbling ‘oh fuck’ so I was wondering if it was something I did?” He asked.
“Oh,” Mariana felt embarrassed that her memories were intersecting the present, “I didn’t realize I was saying that out loud. I was just appreciating the view.”
Mariana would’ve appreciated the mountainside view if she hadn’t been on that particular canyon before. She had only been there once and that one time she was there, she and Scott made love on the back of his Harley.
She remembered that night fondly and quite frequently, often using it as a backdrop for frequent masturbation sessions. The way the moonlight shone on them both as their bodies moved in unison, slapping against each other above her hushed moans and whispers. Scott encouraged her to let go and when she did, the orgasm coursed through her body and she stilled, feeling like she was floating amongst the clouds.
She’d had outdoor sex before but it was that particular time that seemed to solidify their relationship. Things moved at a rapid pace and before she knew it, they were living together. Memorable family visits to hers at Thanksgiving and his at Christmas, with an unforgettable ring-shopping excursion when they returned to California.
Then they suddenly split two months later. Mariana began dating B. just a few weeks later and she wondered if that was a good idea. B. was everything that wasn’t Scott and that’s what she thought she wanted.
Boring.
B. was exciting in his own right. He was a very popular local DJ and played many festivals, with Mariana riding shotgun to wherever he played. He was well-read and enlightened Mariana on a flurry of topics, which she found interesting.
The sex between them was good, too. B. wasn’t dull in the bedroom and had no trouble bringing Mariana to climax many times. But B. was vanilla. Very vanilla. Mariana wanted kink and a lot of it.
There was something about B. that Mariana just couldn’t put her finger on. He was intelligent, confident, and affable. But he didn’t have... IT.
Swagger. Arrogance. Sex appeal.
Everything that was Scott.
She loved B. but wasn’t in love with him and she knew the difference. Scott was dangerous, exciting and often unpredictable; B. was safe and comfortable.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” B. stood next to her and admired the view.
“Honey, this is amazing.”
“I thought
you would like it. I know how much you love nature and being out in the open so I wanted to bring you here.” Scott stood beside her. “Something different from what we usually do.”
“No man has ever brought me up here before,” Mariana quietly spoke, “it’s just so beautiful.”
“I’m glad you like it,” Scott smiled at her.
“I love it,” Mariana lightly sighed, “I really do.”
Scott walked behind Mariana and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned into his chest and sighed. She was with her man and everything was perfect. All of the tension and stress between them disappeared. It was them, nature, and God.
The memory once again faded into the background and Mariana lightly sighed. She put a hand over her heart and could’ve sworn it was tugging. “It is.”
“There’s a reason why I brought you up here tonight, Mari,” B. began.
“Oh?” She turned to him. “What is it, baby?”
“You know I’ve really enjoyed being with you the past year and I really feel like we have a great connection,” B. turned her to face him, “and I just wanted to say thank you for putting up with me with my busy schedule and always on-the-go. I know it must be hard for you and I really appreciate it.”
“I know how passionate you are about music and I fully support you.” Mariana smiled.
“That’s why what I’m about to say is so important,” B. reached into his pocket and got down on one knee.
Oh my God... no, no, no! Mariana maintained her cool. “Yes?”
B. pulled out a house key and presented it to his girlfriend. “Now, it’s not an invitation to move in because I’m not quite ready for that, but it is an invite for you to come over any time you want and stay for as long as you like—as long you go home at some time.”
Whew! Mariana could handle an “invite” to stay over at B.’s home and eventually moving in with him. She didn’t think she could handle an engagement. “I don’t understand,” Mariana was confused, “I don’t really need a key to your home, so why now?”
“Well, I’m about to go on tour overseas and I’ll be doing some gigs over there for a few months. I wanted you to look after the house while I’m gone and maybe... maybe... we can test the waters of us potentially moving in together. So Mariana Harlow, would you do me the honor to stay at my home and kick it sometime?”
“Overseas?” Mariana was surprised by the new development. “I didn’t realize things were happening so fast for you!”
“Well, word of mouth spread about how good I am.” B. smiled as he stood up, “and I owe a lot of it to Scott. He really pushed for my name to get out there and had many connections overseas to make it happen. Of course, it’ll be up to me to see how successful I am but he played a major role in setting it all up.”
Mariana’s elation dissipated into skepticism. It was already an eggshell situation with Scott being her boyfriend’s boss as well as hers. She knew there was something more to Scott being generous with B.’s career and music ambitions.
Oh, Scott wanted B. to be successful, all right—successfully far and away as possible from Mariana. One day, Mariana determined, she was going to stop underestimating Scott Reed. “How nice of him,” she feigned enthusiasm.
“We’ll talk more about it over dinner. We need to make our reservation,” B. led them back to his car, “you never did give me an answer, by the way.”
“I do,” Mariana stated with a newfound confidence and assurance. She was going to prove to Scott that his little plan was not going to work. “I want to be your wifey.”
“I like that,” B. wrapped his arms around her, “Wifey. I like that.”
Three
Mariana and B. arrived at the Sentiment restaurant just in time for their reservation. As they arrived, a Maserati with a loud, rumbling engine approached the restaurant. Mariana had to still her breath as she watched the car pull up to the valet. In a shade that was a fitting money-green, the car exuded power and success.
Scott, her heart thumped against the walls of her chest.
He exited the vehicle wearing an open collar white shirt and black blazer and slacks. His hair was gelled back and he walked with an air of confidence as if he owned the world. Mariana was enjoying her small fantasy of him until he walked around to the passenger’s side and stuck his hand out through the open car door. A dainty tattooed hand grabbed his and the rest of the woman soon appeared in Mariana’s view.
Dove.
She wore a slinky black dress and had her hair in an up-do. The dress Dove was in had no room for a bra apparently, and Mariana could tell how cold the woman was in the February night.
“Mariana!” Dove rushed over to her and gave her air kisses and a big hug. “It’s so great to see you! I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight!”
“Yeah, Valentine’s Day.” Mariana planted a smile on her lips and forced it to remain put. “It seems every couple is out tonight.”
“I know, right?” Dove laughed as Scott joined her.
“Bernard,” Scott greeted him with a bro hug, “my main man.”
“The man with a plan!” Bernard hugged back. “Yo, I just want to say thank you for hooking up that overseas deal. I really appreciate it.”
“No biggies. I know great talent when I see it.” Scott then turned his attention to his ex-girlfriend. She wore a short, tight, red dress that accentuated her long legs along with every other body part. She was breathtakingly beautiful. “Mariana, you look absolutely ravishing tonight.”
Ravishing. Scott could’ve just said lovely or nice. He could’ve remained silent. Instead he chose ravishing, a descriptive word that instantly made Mariana’s panties wet with need. “Thank you,” she cleared her throat, “you look very nice yourself tonight. You both do.”
Dove gushed. “Thank you! I hope you enjoy your evening tonight! Happy Valentine’s Day!” Scott then led her inside.
Mariana carefully watched as Scott wrapped his arm around Dove’s waist and his hands casually slid down to her ass, lightly tapping it. He held her as if he was silently saying, this is my woman, and Mariana reminisced on how he would treat her the same way.
“Yeah,” Mariana’s forced smile dissipated into the night, and it was replaced with a look of contempt that she hoped wasn’t too obvious, “you, too.”
****
Dinner wasn’t bad. The food was excellent as was the company sitting across from her. Mariana enjoyed the ambiance of Sentiment, with its romantic candlelit setting at each table and a string quartet softly playing music in the background.
A lush floral arrangement full of white peonies, hydrangeas, and roses was the centerpiece of every table, courtesy of a delivery from the famous floral chain, Madre’s, in New York.
In a short while, B. was going to DJ at the accompanying dance floor while Mariana would watch from where she was seated. That was going to be great. She could enjoy watching her man work for a while before they went home to cap off a great evening.
Ravishing.
She briefly closed her eyes and squeezed Scott’s Southern grumble out of her head. While she was at it, she would also need to rid herself of the thoughts of him mounting her while she was tied up and blindfolded on his bed, caressing her torso with a single long-stemmed rose before he spread her thighs apart and played with her pussy with one of the many implements he would use that night; leading her to delve farther into subspace before he pulled her back out...
“Are you okay, babe?” B.’s eyes searched all over Mariana’s face. “You seem flushed.”
“Um,” Mariana lightly tapped her forehead and noticed it was damp, “it’s a little warm in here. I’m going to go to the bathroom and freshen up. I’ll be right back.” She hurriedly left the table and made a beeline to the women’s restroom.
Once inside, Mariana locked herself inside a stall and sat down on the toilet. She laid her head against her palm and shook it in disbelief. Was she really fantasizing about her Dom ex while she was on a date wi
th her boyfriend? I’m the most horrible girlfriend, ever. She couldn’t... no, wait... she could believe Scott still had that effect on her a year later.
She was having a nice Valentine’s Day with a great man and there she was, comparing the two, like a fool. If Scott wanted her, he would be with her, simple as that. It was clear Scott didn’t want her by his choice of date that evening.
Who in the hell names their kid Dove?
Mariana wasn’t being fair. She was being childish and petty and it really wasn’t like her. Dove was a very sweet girl who always struck up a conversation with Mariana whenever she was in the office. Dove had been nothing but pleasant to her and sometimes went out of her way to be nice, even taking Mariana out for coffee a few times and footing the bill. Mariana secretly wondered if Dove was paying with Scott's money.
No, no, no... Mariana refused to get jealous. Refused.
That’s it! I’m not going to trouble myself anymore with Scott, Dove, and whoever else. I’m going to focus on my relationship with B. and be done with it. Mariana grabbed some toilet paper, straightened herself out, and left the stall—only to run into Dove, directly in front of her.
“We meet again!” Dove smiled through the mirror. “Excuse me, Mari. Could I trouble you to help me tie up the back?”
Mariana hated her. Yes, she hated that bitch.
She was the one who decided to pursue a relationship with Bernard, pushing Scott away. Not that she had a choice, really. Scott forced her hand when he asked her to move out. Asked? No, he told her to leave. At the time, she was too devastated to pay him any mind, and spent the week holed up in the guest bedroom, only escaping to use the bathroom. She'd barely eaten that week and whatever food she did consume, her body refused.
She was determined to prove that she didn't need Scott in her life and she was just fine without him! He bought an engagement ring that she’d picked out, only for it to be a waste of money for him and a waste of time for her. She felt silly thinking about all the times she’d spent researching wedding venues, picking out colors, thinking about which of her friends and family members she wanted to be in her bridal party...
I Need You: A Valentine's Anthology Page 3