Buddha's Money

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by Martin Limon


  "She still plans to trade it for Mi-ja," I answered. "Don't worry about anything else."

  This time I noticed her back tense a little. Maybe she was having second thoughts about releasing the jade skull after all she'd gone through to possess it. I had no such doubts. The skull had to be traded for Mi-ja. I'd see that it was. One little girl's life was more important than all these bitter squabbles over ancient treasure.

  Mi-ja was real. And she needed our help. And she needed our help now.

  I decided to keep an eye on Lady Ahn.

  Not that I hadn't before.

  LADY AHN'S MOTHER WAS SO SAD TO SEE HER DAUGHTER GO that she couldn't hide her tears. As we left on the ferry, Lady Ahn held hers through what seemed to be a massive display of will.

  After the ferry stopped at the first island on its way back to the mainland and picked up a few more passengers, Lady Ahn told us about the KNP inspection routine at the dock in Ok-dong.

  "They don't inspect every bag," she said. "Just the ones that might produce a tip for them."

  A bribe is what she meant.

  Plenty of smuggling went on in these islands. Foreign products not stamped by the Ministry of Customs were illegal. A few hundred won, however, would convince most KNPs to look the other way. But they wouldn't look the other way for an AK-47 automatic rifle. Or an antique of such obvious value as Kublai Khan's jade drinking cup skull.

  Our problem was how to slip both items past them.

  Lady Ahn shoved the jade skull deep into a twenty pound sack of unhusked rice, threw away some of the excess grain, and slung the heavy bag over her shoulder. The sack looked big and awkward. It might work. It might not.

  Ernie had dismantled the stock from the main firing chamber of the AK-47. The disassembled mechanism fit easily into the bottom of his leather bag.

  Still, it was a big risk. Either item, if discovered, would set off alarm bells from here to Seoul. The first thing that would happen is that they'd be confiscated. The second thing that would happen is we'd be thrown in jail.

  Ernie and I would almost certainly be court-martialed for carrying a Communist-made weapon. I thought of getting rid of it. In fact, I damn near told Ernie to toss it over the side. But finally, I reconsidered. Now that we had the jade skull, there was no telling who might be after us.

  At the time, I figured I was just paranoid.

  The skull was a bigger risk than the machine gun. The Korean government would take possession of it and we'd never see it again. And then we'd have nothing to use to bargain for Mi-ja's freedom.

  Once they knew they weren't going to obtain the jade skull, the kidnappers would only want to cover their tracks. Killing Mi-ja was the sure way of doing that.

  Leaning on the rail of the ferry, the three of us talked it over.

  The sky was gray. Gulls swooped into the choppy waters of the Yellow Sea. The crisp air reeked of fish.

  Lady Ahn thought we should be prepared to pay a large bribe.

  Ernie objected. "No way. I'm not coughing up no more money to no more KNPs." He waved his hand dismissively. "You just leave it to me. I'll get this stuff past them."

  Maybe he would. Still, I counted out the dollars I had on me. Less than forty. Lady Ahn had about fifteen thousand won, almost thirty bucks.

  That might work. But it would leave us broke and with no money to make it back to Seoul.

  The worst case was that it would only be enough money to piss off the KNP, and instead of letting us off the hook we'd be charged—in addition to arms smuggling and theft of national treasures—with attempted bribery of a public official.

  Ernie occupied himself with trying to hustle three college girls wearing caps and backpacks and hiking boots. He passed out ginseng gum all around, and soon the four of them were laughing.

  Lady Ahn and I went to the galley and bought two tin cans of iced coffee. We walked back up on the deck. As we sipped, the lush islands of the Korean west coast floated by.

  She wore a freshly pressed pair of beige denim slacks, a sky-blue blouse, and a brown windbreaker with a snap-on collar like the race car drivers wear. Shades would've completed the picture, but Lady Ahn was too busy studying the world to allow anything to intervene.

  As she breathed slowly, I watched her and thought of reaching for her hand. Somehow, I never quite worked up the courage.

  THE CROWD DEBARKING FROM THE FERRY PUSHED AND shoved. Everybody shouted, trying to reach the narrow exitway past the Korean National Police inspection counter.

  Some of the women with bundles atop their heads had to stop and open them. Others were waved through by white-gloved policemen.

  When it came our turn, Lady Ahn went first, followed by me and then Ernie right behind. The fat policeman pointed at Lady Ahn's bag. He told her to drop it on the counter.

  Ernie stepped forward. "Wait just a minute, honcho," he said. "I saw that little lady in front of us and you let her squirt on by without so much as a howdy-do."

  The fat policeman stared at him blankly, not understanding a word he said. Ernie leaned forward, jabbing his forefinger into the palm of his open hand.

  "You have to understand here, chingu. Us Miguk people, we don't put up with this kind of treatment. No, sir."

  Ernie pounded on his chest like a gorilla from the Congo.

  "I'm an American, you alia? Born and bred in the U.S.A. No, sir. We don't put up with this type of treatment. We're here defending your country and we demand to be treated with some serious respect!"

  The line behind us came to a complete halt. People craned their necks to see what was going on and still kept shoving forward. Soon, some of them started to yell.

  "I want to see your boss!" Ernie roared. "I want to see your honcho and I want to see him right now!"

  The Korean National Policeman was still confused, not sure what was going on. Most people just followed his orders. He wasn't used to some big-nosed foreigner shouting loud English at him.

  Other cops yelled at him to keep the line moving. Someone in an office behind the counter with its big plate-glass window finally noticed the commotion. A man dressed in a neady pressed khaki uniform under a brass-braided cap strolled out.

  The same officer who had waved us through when we boarded the ferry two days ago.

  When the officer saw Ernie, his face crinkled as if he'd bitten into a sour persimmon. The KNP looked at him for instruction.

  "Migun itjiyo?" the honcho shouted. Aren't they GIs?

  "Net." The fat cop nodded. "Migun ieiyo." Yes. They're GIs.

  The honcho impatiently waved his hand. "Kurum ka. Bali ka!" Then let them go.

  The KNP waved us forward. Ernie glared at the cop for a moment, shifted his bag on his shoulder, thrust out his chest, and sashayed past the inspection counter.

  Lady Ahn and I stayed right with him.

  ON THE MAIN DRAG OF OK-DONG, WE STOPPED IN A NOODLE shop and ordered three bowls of meiun-tang. Spicy noodle soup, the broth flavored with a few tiny clams and the head of a mackerel.

  Lady Ahn slurped delicately on her noodles. I asked Ernie about the college chicks he'd met on the ferry.

  "They're from some university out near Suwon. They gave me their phone numbers, but I don't think I'll call them."

  "Why not?"

  "Because they only want to go out with me one at a time."

  "So?"

  "When I meet 'em in a group, I want them to stay in a group. All the way into the sack."

  Lady Ann's cheeks turned pink. I changed the subject.

  "Looks like rain," I said.

  A few drops slapped against the pavement.

  "Yes," Lady Ahn said. "We must hurry."

  We paid the bill, shouldered our bags, and trooped through the narrow pathways of Ok-dong, heading for the bus station.

  LOOKING BACK ON IT, THERE WERE SIGNS I SHOULD'VE Noticed. The local villagers didn't stare at us, as they would normally when encountering foreigners. Instead, they turned their heads away.

  Men loite
red near wooden carts, squatting and exchanging cigarettes. Nobody loiters in Korea. Especially not in a remote fishing village, where scratching out a living is a full-time occupation.

  And the leather-faced monk on Bian Island had warned us. Other people were after the jade skull.

  THE REEK OF SALTED FLESH FILLED THE AIR, MINGLING WITH A dry mist of sawdust kicked up by our feet.

  We had decided to take a shortcut through the Ok-dong market.

  Ahead, huge glass tanks swarmed with fish. On either side, damp wooden stalls wriggled with purple-veined squid and piles of reddish crabs pinching madly into nothingness. Above us, a sea of canvas blocked the sky.

  Two men stepped out from behind glass tanks. Three more appeared behind us.

  All wore the loose pantaloons and soiled vests of farmers. But in their hands each man held a short heavy club or the wickedly curved sickle used for harvesting grain.

  They were sunburned men and not Koreans. I knew right away who they were. Mongols. Ragyapa's thugs.

  I pushed Lady Ahn behind me until her back was pressed against a stall crawling with crustaceans. Ernie dropped his bag, unzipped it, and started scratching through it frantically.

  Searching for the AK-47.

  19

  SHORTS AND SOCKS ERUPTED INTO THE AIR. BUT NO MATTER how many of them he tossed out of the bag, Ernie still couldn't pry out the AK-47. As the five men closed in, I snatched up a handful of slimy squid and flung it at them. They backed up for a second, covering their eyes. But when the limp flesh flopped into the mud, they bared their teeth in sinister grins.

  I didn't have a weapon. No clubs, no tree branches, no loose rocks lying about. I braced myself, prepared to use my fists and my feet and, if necessary, my teeth.

  Ernie tugged and cursed and started to rip the leather bag apart.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Lady Ahn slide behind the crab stall.

  Ernie had the AK-47 out of the bag now and was fumbling with the ammunition clip, holding it upside down, twisting it, trying to ram it home.

  One of the men near the fish tank raised his sickle, let out a blood-curdling scream, and charged.

  The world started to tilt. For an instant I felt as if I was suffering from vertigo. Then I realized that it was the glass fish tank, slowly toppling over.

  Before the man with the sickle could reach us, a tsunami of water and fins exploded out of the top of the tank. The wave crashed onto his back, followed by glass and metal rods and about a jillion shimmering sardines. The attacker was swallowed up in the deluge.

  Lady Ahn stood behind the tank, still shoving, her face glowing with rage.

  The men behind us closed in.

  I grabbed a handful of crab, flung it, and hopped forward, kicking with the upturned toe of my sneakers. A swooshing club missed my forehead by an inch. My foot caught rib, the man grunted, and I followed with a left jab. The punch landed on his chin.

  Something slammed into my arm. Fire exploded from my elbow to my shoulder blade. The canvas above me swirled madly. I remember punching and gouging, but I'm not sure who all this fury was aimed at.

  Again something rammed into my back. I realized it was one of the stalls. It was flattened, and I was lying on top of it. Crabs pinched my neck.

  Above me a sickle whistled through the air. I rolled. The curved blade slammed into the dust.

  And then a blast filled the air. An unmistakable rat-a-tat-tat and a sinus-cleansing burst of gunsmoke.

  Suddenly Ernie stood above me, his face red, cords bulging in his neck, screaming, spraying the poles and canvas rooftops of the market with a stream of lethal AK-47 pellets.

  Just as suddenly as it began, the firing stopped. Ernie's hand reached down, I grabbed it, and he yanked me to my feet.

  "Out of ammo," he said. "Let's un-ass the area."

  "By all means," I said.

  Amidst the splintered stalls and tattered canvas and flopping fish, Lady Ahn appeared at my side. I grabbed her and pulled her close.

  "Let's go!"

  We ran out of the market, away from the bus station, through the narrow pathways of Ok-dong. Not sure where in the hell we were going.

  Near the edge of the town, where the vast expanse of green rice paddies began, we finally stopped, panting for breath.

  "Did I lay it on 'em, pal? Or what?" Ernie yelled.

  Lady Ahn peered around nervously, at the rickety shacks behind fences of splintered slats and rusted chicken wire.

  "Quiet down, Ernie," I said. "The assholes might still be in the area."

  "No way," Ernie said. "We lost 'em. Once I pulled out this baby . . ." he patted the AK-47, ". . . no way they were going to follow."

  I wasn't so sure about that. "You didn't kill any of them, did you?"

  "Naw. Shot over their heads. But I should've blown a few of them away." He mimed firing the automatic weapon once again. "Rock and rolll"

  What Ernie needed was a sedative. Or a couple of shots of bourbon.

  Lady Ahn tugged on my arm. "We must leave. Quickly!"

  "Yes," I agreed. "But they'll be watching the bus station. And there aren't any taxicabs way out here."

  "We will find a way," she said. "I will show you."

  _____________

  TWENTY MINUTES LATER, WE STOOD INSIDE A TIN-ROOFED shack peering at a small tractor with a square wooden platform bolted behind the driver's seat. Designed for transporting fifty-pound bags of grain.

  A snaggle-toothed farmer grinned at us. He'd never in his life seen such an entertaining display as the three of us. "How much does he want?" I asked.

  "Ten thousand won," Lady Ahn answered. Twenty bucks.

  "And he'll take us all the way to Taejon?"

  "On the back roads only. He'll let us off near the outskirts. Not in the town itself."

  "Okay," Ernie said. "It's a deal."

  The farmer also threw in three bowls of rice gruel and some turnip kimchi, which we ate while hiding inside the tin shack.

  When night fell, the moon rose almost full but not quite. If we were going to save Mi-ja, we had to reach Seoul by tomorrow. The three of us crammed ourselves into the back of the tractor, the cackling old farmer at the wheel. The farmer fired up the engine and we drove off down the bumpy country road, heading once again toward the provincial capital of Taejon.

  MY LEGS HAD CRAMPED INTO KNOTS AND MY BUTT WAS AS SORE as a bad boy's rump at a corporal punishment convention. The ancient tractor bounced up and down with every rut. The straw-hatted farmer stared straight ahead into the night. Ernie kept up a steady stream of cursing.

  To make matters worse, the heavens opened up as if they had only one last chance to water a parched planet.

  Lady Ahn snuggled up against me, clutching the skull in the soaked burlap bag, and I held a plastic sheet over our heads. Ernie had lost everything in the fight in the fish market and sat with his arms crossed, hugging the AK-47. Rain ran in rivulets down his straight nose and puddled on cursing lips.

  I had offered him the use of my shirt or the underwear in my bag but stubbornly he had refused. Finally, he gave in and grabbed my overnight bag and set the whole thing atop his head. It didn't provide much shelter.

  I thought about the Mongols who had attacked us, trying to bring the memory of their faces vividly into my mind.

  They were tough rascals. Dark-skinned and wiry and with an apparent relish for combat that only men long used to violence could attain. They held Mi-ja, and she was totally at their mercy.

  The tractor slammed down hard into a pothole. Soil reeking of septic tank splashed up and engulfed us in a rancid wave. Ernie emitted a particularly colorful series of expletives but the old farmer just kept churning forward.

  Soon the rainwater had washed much of the mud off of us. Through it all, Lady Ahn sat next to me. Uncomplaining. As long as she held the skull in her hands, she seemed happy.

  Streetlamps started to appear at the side of the road. And then huts and buildings and even a two-story yoguan with
a rain-soaked wooden sign over its door.

  The farmer stopped the tractor, turned off the ignition, and the engine coughed, sputtered, and died.

  "Yogi isso," he said, still smiling. Here you are. "Taejon."

  I unraveled my legs in sections, stepped out onto the pavement, and shakily brought myself to the standing position. Ahead in the distance lay a sea of more lights and even high-rise buildings. Bright blue and yellow neon sparkled through the rain and I could make out the tiny letter- ing atop one of the skyscrapers. The Pyong-an Tourist Hotel.

  Luxury. But much too far away. We'd settle for this small establishment in front of us. The Somun Yoguan. The Westgate Inn.

  I paid the farmer. He started up the engine of his tractor, and waved to us as he drove away. Still grinning.

  Easy money, he was probably thinking. If we were foolish enough to offer it, he was damn sure going to take it.

  We pushed through the heavy oak door of the inn. After a couple of minutes, the chubby woman who owned the Somun Yoguan overcame her shock at seeing two rain-drenched Americans accompanied by a soaked-to-the-skin Korean woman of regal beauty. We paid for two rooms. The owner led us down creaking wooden hallways. Rounding a corner, she slid back a paper-paneled door.

  It was a little square room with no beds, just folded sleeping mats and wood-slat floors heated by steam ducts running beneath the foundation.

  The owner left Ernie and me, guiding Lady Ahn to her quarters. She returned a few minutes later with a metal tray piled high with hot rolled hand towels and steaming cups of barley tea. When I rubbed the towel on the back of my neck and sipped on the tea, a semblance of color started to return to my shriveled skin.

  Ernie was the last to use the byonso. While he was gone, Lady Ahn tiptoed down the hallway. Without a word, she took me by the hand and led me to her room.

  We slid the door shut and turned off the light. The rain had stopped and the clouds were beginning to disperse. Beams of moonlight drifted through an open curtain. Instead of appearing beautiful, the light from the almost full moon filled me with dread. Dread for what would happen to Mi-ja if we didn't reach Seoul soon.

 

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