by Lil Cromer
I toured the Opera House which is where Richard Gere took Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. St. Peter and Paul’s cathedral is where Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe posed for photos after their wedding at city hall. They were prohibited from marrying at the cathedral as Dimaggio’s previous marriage took place there and in the eyes of the Catholic Church he was still married to his first wife. My friend Tom told the story of his sister who refused to come to his wedding to Tanja as she discovered there were going to be gays at the wedding. She bought into the intolerance of the Catholic Church, but has since softened her views. Which brings me to make the observation that SF is by far one of the most tolerant cities I’ve ever visited. They have adopted a “live and let live philosophy” that the rest of the country as well as the rest of the world should embrace.
Dined at the hotel bar one night next to a FED-EX pilot, a former Marine. He told the story of his only daughter nearly marrying a loser. Seems this thirty-eight year old almost son-in-law had no ambition and was employed as a golf caddy. He had talent as a golfer, many thought he should try for a PGA card. This young man responded, “I could never do that, drugs have fried my brain.”
Nike sponsored a Women’s Marathon the weekend I visited drawing over 21,000 runners. This was a fund raiser for breast cancer and each runner received a Tiffany necklace. I met an interesting woman and her husband from L.A. — she was running a half marathon. Also met another interesting local couple at the hotel bar one night, he an eighty-nine year old retired Air Force pilot and she a retired Navy captain. I asked why they chose SF to retire; they revealed they had lived all over the world but SF kept calling them back. They loved the climate and the people.
Nowhere are the results of the poor political decision in the 80s to close mental institutions more evident than in the Tenderloin district. I witnessed several people wandering along and in the streets talking to themselves.
SF’s Chinatown, established in the 1840s, the largest in the country, has outgrown its original boundaries so several other Chinese areas have sprung up within the city. It’s a well-known fact that Chinatown is the safest neighborhood in the city.
Among the celebrities that call SF home are Robin Williams, Clint Eastwood, Linda Ronstadt, George Lucas, and Johnny Mathis.
To cap off an exciting visit to the City by the Bay on the last night in town, my cousins, who live across the Bay Bridge in Alameda, picked me up and drove to a part of the city that tourists don’t visit. Bernal Heights, south of the city center is primarily a residential district. We enjoyed a yummy dinner of homemade chicken pot pie, along with a bottle of Zinfandel at Liberty Café.
Two items still on my list, riding on a cable car and visiting Alcatraz will have to wait for a return visit.
Chapter 9
Australia and
New Zealand
*
Don’t worry about the world ending today; it’s already tomorrow in Australia.
Australia:
Ever since I read The Thornbirds by Colleen McCullough and watched the gripping mini-series based on the book, my wandering soul planned, saved and researched a visit to Australia and New Zealand. Lucky for me a travel company out of Wisconsin put Clearwater on their target list of marketing areas. I attended no less than four presentations, four years running — causing the program director to ask if I was ever going to make the journey to Australia. Since this was my dream trip, maybe a once in a lifetime visit to the South Pacific, I decided to wait until I was free of caregiving duties. Less than a month after my mother departed this earth, I set in motion plans for a twenty-seven day Grand Australia and New Zealand adventure in 2010.
A trip Down Under was necessary for my education, my sense of humor and for my own overall well-being. Americans have a tendency to lump Australia and New Zealand together, but it’s important to note that they are two separate and distinct countries. Indeed two of the most honest, friendly, and successful countries on earth. Because I can be a bit lazy and because I visited both of these countries on the same trip, I have included both countries herein.
My friends asked why Australia and New Zealand. My initial answer is, “They love Americans!” But there’s more to it than that: there’s no language barrier and it’s affordable, even with our devalued dollar. As a general rule, the Aussies and Kiwis seem flexible and take whatever life hands them. Some call it smugness or complacency, but I think there is an attractive sense of security, pride, and identity in the ordinary folks’ conviction that they’ve got it right.
Our journalists could take a lesson from the journalists Down Under. Not only do they report national news in an unbiased way, but they seem to be more well-versed on world affairs than we are. During my tour, the midterm elections happened in the US, after which Obama admitted taking a shellacking. The articles in The Australian merely reported the news rather than editorialize, which I found refreshing. Reading the daily newspaper proved a challenge as they print on broadsheets. I never did learn the knack of properly folding the sheets for more efficient reading.
Australia is everything: elegant, robust, common, spectacular, vulgar, exquisite, and mysterious. The sights were new and exciting.
Because traveling can be out of our comfort zone, a dream vacation isn’t always dreamy. And, to be sure, there were the occasional road bumps. The first is a dearth of ice. Like the Brits, both the Aussies and Kiwis don’t use much ice, preferring instead hot tea and their water merely refrigerated. As my morning beverage of choice is iced tea, I got most creative rounding up ice for the early morning tea in my room. Most of the hotels provided refrigerators with a minuscule freezer compartment holding the teeniest ice trays I’ve ever seen. For those hotels that didn’t have ice trays, the look on a couple of room service employees, when they delivered a bucket of ice at 6:00 AM, was worth the price of admission.
Because drinking and driving commands zero tolerance in both countries, many wine glasses are marked with a fill line, which looked like four ounces. After a few days of the short pour Shiraz nonsense, I opted for pints of local beers, which were outstanding; Cascade, Speights, Export Gold and Steinlager were my favorites. From conversations with bartenders, I learned that Reisling is usurping the number one spot for white wine consumption, nudging out Savignon Blanc. But I stuck with beer.
You shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach! Among culinary delights to go along with an excellent selection of local beer and wine: mince pies (a tasty pot pie with gravy and ground beef), fish and chips, shepherd’s pie, pavlova (a unique desert made with meringue, cream and fruit), baked beans served with breakfast, beet root cake, sliced beets on burgers instead of pickles, jaffles (grilled sandwiches), licorice parfait with lime syrup, chocolate covered dried kiwifruit, and my favorite, bullets (chocolate covered licorice). Our tour director suggested we try a local favorite on our morning toast — Vegemite. It was a dark brown gooey mess that was more savory than sweet, rather salty — definitely an acquired taste.
It was interesting to note that condiments, such as ketchup, mustard, mayo, we take for granted here in the US, are not complimentary there. Little packets (sachets) were 40 cents at most places. Ditto for packets of crackers. There were no free refills on coffee, tea or sodas. And in both countries, tipping is not a common practice.
The rudeness of the Asians was quite noticeable: pushing ahead, talking when presentations were in English, females urinating on the seat and floor in public toilets, filling the bathtub to the brim in hotel rooms, and then displacing water to the floor when bathing. Our knowledgeable tour director, a transplanted Aussie now living in San Francisco, put the blame for this behavior squarely on the shoulders of their tour directors. She commented that it was a matter of cultural difference and the Asian tourists would be mortified if they knew their behavior was offensive.
Speaking of toilets, both countries use toilets designed to conserve water, which makes more sense than the low flow models we use here. On the top of the tank are two buttons w
ith symbols: one half and one whole, use whichever applies. What a splendid idea!
I always assumed the US was the master of obsession regarding sports, au contraire. The Aussies and Kiwis take their sports, especially rugby, very, very seriously. The story goes that when Peter Jackson arrived in New Zealand to discuss using a farmer’s property for filming, Lord of the Rings, the farmer distractedly told him to come back later as he was watching rugby. But it’s just not rugby. The Melbourne Cup is a serious horse race held the first part of November each year; this is a holiday celebrated countrywide. The festive atmosphere included folks dressed in formal clothes attending pre-Cup parties having a rousing time. Instead of hats, many women sported what is called a “fascinator,” which is a strikingly, elaborate blend of feathers, ribbons, and flowers attached to a kind of headband.
Skin cancer is a critical problem in both countries. School children wear broad brimmed hats when outdoors and a large jar of sunscreen sits by the exit doors. Most of the schools mandate uniforms.
Politically, the two countries are much different than the US. Like Canada and the UK, both Australia and New Zealand have Nationalized Health Care. Because of this, a case of beer, (bottles are called Stubbies) costs between $33.00 and $50.00, and a 750 ml of liquor is $35.00 on sale. There’s no free lunch. Minimum wage is $15.00. There’s a national test for students in both countries called the NCEA, the results of which are published in the newspapers. (Wouldn’t this incentivize students taking similar tests in the US?) The best feature of their political system, however, is that they cap campaign expenditures, so rich people can’t simply buy elections. Finally, another thing that struck me is that national banks are permitted to raise mortgage interest rates at will; in fact this occurred while I was there and caused quite an uproar.
Miscellaneous stuff: The hotel beds are made up so well, that a body has to yank on the sheets to open up the bed. I practiced the difference in the pronunciation of aluminum, we say A LUM IN UM but the Aussies and Kiwis say A LU MIN I UM. There are thirty-four million sheep in NZ and only four million people. Sheep have a life expectancy of six years as they wear out their teeth in that time then can’t eat. The Kea bird has sharp razor-like talons and when landing on the backs of sheep can rip out their kidneys. Our small, congenial travel group was more frustrated than a celibate priest due to the actions of one thoughtless tour member, who shall remain nameless. He was constantly late and wore enough cologne to gag a goat. There always seems to be one on every tour. And, I can’t even put him in the Ugly American chapter because he was Brazilian. We noted a bumper sticker that read, “If you spot a chance, take it.” Kind of reminded me of the Yogi Berra quote, “If you see a fork in the road, take it.”
I was amazed at the number of backpackers in both countries, mostly young people and typically from Europe. They didn’t think anything of moving around the world on foot with a heavy pack strapped to their back. One gal I spoke with in Christchurch was headed off to Japan after Christmas. They stay in one place long enough to make sufficient money to take them to the next place. Talk about a gypsy lifestyle.
Two coach drivers, both memorable, must be included here. Steve, the driver in Tasmania is the president of the Errol Flynn fan club in Hobart and relocated from northern Australia to Tasmania; his passion for the southern most Aussie state came through loud and clear. Les, the driver in New Zealand, was a Kiwi from Hamilton south of Auckland. He was obviously proud of his heritage, as evidenced by his informed narration on the twelve days we toured NZ. His wicked sense of humor added to our delight. During the NZ portion of the tour, my unbounded PIC (politically incorrectness) prompted Les to ask when I had been released from the US Diplomatic Corps. We shared many good laughs.
As a way of defining the trusting nature of the Aussies — while waiting at the Melbourne airport one morning, I approached a mother with a cute baby girl in a stroller and asked the child’s name. Emily began to fuss a bit so I offered to push her around the terminal for a while to calm her down. Emily’s mother gave me her blessing and off I went. Can you see a mother in the US handing her baby off to a total stranger in an airport?
Down Under veterans are honored in nearly every community in the form of monuments, and the one in Melbourne was quite sizable and impressive. ANZAC (an acronym for Australia New Zealand Army Corps) Day is celebrated in April each year, much like our Veterans’ Day. Winston Churchill is not well liked here because of his error in sending troops into Gallipoli, Turkey in WW I resulting in over 10,000 Aussie and Kiwi casualties.
Four cities composed my Australian itinerary: Cairns, Melbourne, Sydney and Hobart.
Cairns is strikingly beautiful, boasting the 1,400 mile long Great Barrier Reef, a natural wonder of the world. However, it is hot and touristy and a trip to the cool mountain air in rain forests the next day was a welcome relief. Afterwards, I found a special treat at the Night Market — several Chinese massage booths, where my aching muscles were manipulated for the paltry sum of $15.00 for forty minutes.
Melbourne, the capital of Victoria, is rife with beautiful Victorian architecture. While lunching on the famous Colonial Cable Car, we passed many old Victorian homes. It’s not difficult to understand why Melbourne is called the Garden City as one-fifth of the city is composed of parks and botanical gardens. Fitzroy Gardens is an exceptional garden where stands the old home of Captain James Cook who first mapped Australia and New Zealand. The beautiful gardens were just the beginning. Melbourne’s topography was breathtaking and unique. Curiously, I learned that it’s possible to ski in the morning and walk on the beach in the afternoon. Because of this topography there are a few resource management issues and accordingly, water rates in Melbourne have doubled recently to fund a new desalination plant.
Dab and Lil lunching on the Colonial Cable Car
A friendly, sibling-like rivalry exists between Melbourne and Sydney as well as between Australia and New Zealand. For example, I overheard this bit of banter, “The Aussies got a fly infested bit of desiccated snake-infested land surrounded by shark-infested laden seas but the Kiwis got a temperate green fertile land with snow capped peaks.”
Sydney, the Emerald City, is an invigorating blend of the old and the new. A most tolerant, multicultural city with a world famous harbor, the city is much like Manhattan in that it is comprised of lots of little sections each with its own uniqueness. I was fortunate to have cultivated a pen pal from Sydney who took me on a special foot tour of the city as well as a cruise on the harbor. The views of the Opera House are fantastic no matter which part of the city you’re in, but it is particularly spectacular from a boat. Beneath our hotel we encountered another world called World Square with lots of shops, restaurants, and markets. One day, a fellow tour member and I started out on foot to locate the Harley Davidson dealership using his Map Quest printout as our guide. He claimed it was only fifteen minutes from our hotel, so I agreed to walk. And so we walked, and we walked, and we walked. After dragging along behind him for an hour or so, I asked to look at his map. Maybe we took a wrong turn? The “fifteen minutes” was by car! Finally we arrived at the dealership five minutes before closing and I was able to purchase a special T-shirt I’d promised to buy for a friend in Florida. The pints tasted exceptionally good on the way back to the hotel.
Tasmania, the Apple Isle, was the biggest surprise. This is the last stop on Earth next stop Antarctica. Most of us only think of the Tasmanian Devil, but this southern most state of Australia is a gem — wild and untamed. 213 million years ago Tasmania was part of Antarctica and what stands today in the Tasman Sea are imposing rugged rock formations complete with caves and waterfalls.
Our tour included an exciting eco-cruise along the coastline; we saw porpoises, petrels, seals, and a huge flock of shearwater birds. It was like a scene from Hitchock’s The Birds. Along with the incredible wildlife, the five to six foot swells and cold temperatures made this part of the journey a highlight for most of us. Zipped up in a red one piece suit
, I asked our tour director what happens if you need to go to the bathroom. Her witty reply, “Cross your legs and suck your thumb.”
Tassie’s main crops are lettuce and apples. Many of the buildings are made of sandstone and are awesome. The capital, Hobart, sits in a green valley, and is the birthplace of Errol Flynn. The Aborigines are the longest continuous culture in the world since 120,000 BC. Dreamtime is the set of beliefs of their culture — they believe everything is created by spirits.
We stopped at Bonogong Park, a wildlife sanctuary. There we came face-to-face with the ugly Tasmanian devil. We also interacted with koalas, kangaroos and some colorful birds.
We toured Port Arthur, an old convict settlement for repeat offenders, some of them as young as fourteen years old. It’s located on a peninsula south of Hobart and is today a historical museum visited by a quarter of a million people each year.
Folks asked me if the tour went out to Ayer’s rock. This company, Holiday Vacations, used to, but decided for the length of time it takes to get out there and back through the Outback to look at a rock was not worth it.
New Zealand:
The Land of the Long White Clouds, affectionately referred to as “down under Down Under” is roughly the size of Colorado. It’s divided into the North and South Islands and boasts a literacy rate of 99%. There are more books stores per capita than anywhere in the world. I found the people to be down to earth, friendly, and egalitarian.
The country raises deer, sheep, and cattle. 16% of the population are comprised of “Maoris” who were originally thought to be from Polynesia, but later discovered to be from Taiwan. I regret I didn’t buy a Maori good luck charm called a Tiki, which is a greenstone carved into a fetus. Instead I bought a boomerang.