Nox nodded as he expertly skinned some tomatoes. “Long summer vacations. The heat is intense, drier than here, but still. Dad owned some olive groves and vineyards which we spent hours in, picking fruit. We stayed in rustic villas and drank wine with every meal, and it was heaven. Simple life.”
Livia tugged on a lock of his hair gently. “You sound as if you want to go back.”
“I haven’t been since my parents died. I was waiting for you to come along. I can see us spending summers like that, making love and walking around the hills of Tuscany. Florence is beautiful. Or watching our kids run and play.” He stopped and gave a little laugh. “Doesn’t it seem surreal to you that we’ve only known each other this short time and yet, we’re talking about kids and the future?”
Livia successfully stole another piece of cheese. Popping it into her mouth, she grinned. “I think it’s what happens in all relationships. Right now, I can’t imagine doing that with anyone else.”
He kissed her, brushing her lips with his. “Me either.”
They ate together then shared a long soak in the tub. Livia leaned back against his chest as he traced patterns with the soap bubbles along her body. “Nox?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“Do you think we’re co-dependent?”
Nox looked askance. “No. What the hell?”
“Just something Moriko said.”
Nox was silent for a while. “She doesn’t like me.”
“She does,” Livia sat up and turned to face him. “She does, she just thinks … with all that’s going on, that … God, I don’t know.”
He cupped her face in his hand. “This is really worrying you, right?”
She nodded. “We didn’t leave things in the best place, but I don’t know how to fix it. She wants me to break up with you and there’s no way that’s happening.”
“She actually said that?” Nox rocked back a little, hurt.
Livia nodded, her face miserable. “She’s worried someone’s going to kill me because of our relationship.”
Nox sighed. “Well, I can’t blame her for thinking that. It’s something I wrestle with every day. Why should I force all this shit on you?”
Livia shook her head. “Don’t go falling into the trap of thinking you have any responsibility for this. I just wish that we knew who and why this was happening. Nox … I think we should look into things ourselves. I just have this feeling, and I don’t know where it comes from, that there are things from Ariel’s murder and your family’s deaths that are right in front of us and yet we can’t see. Everyone said they couldn’t believe your dad would turn on his family … well, I believe that too. Even though I never met him, anyone who could bring a man like you into the world couldn’t be bad.”
Nox’s eyes were soft. “I love you for saying that.”
“But do you feel it too?”
Slowly he began to nod. “I do. I always have, it’s just I’ve never had someone in my corner. I never had you. I think we were destined to meet, Livvy, not just because we fell in love, but because we were meant to heal each other. Dang,” he added with a grin, “that was cheesy. Maybe we are co-dependent.”
Livia laughed and kissed him. “Yep, let’s not get too intense here. All I’m saying is … let’s be proactive and look at everything—and everyone—who could be behind this. Because one thing is for sure …”
“What’s that?”
Her smile faded, but she looked at him steadily. “It’s someone we know.”
And with a sinking heart, Nox nodded. “I know. I know it is.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Two days before they were due to fly out to wherever Nox was taking Livia for Christmas, Livia had to perform at her end-of-semester concert. She sat in the dressing room now, surrounded by her fellow students as they got ready. She felt sick to her stomach. Charvi had decided that Livia would finish the show with her new composition, and worse, every single one of her friends would be there to watch … except Moriko.
“I have to work, sweetie,” Moriko had apologized to her over the phone. “Both Marcel and I wanted to come but one of us has to be here. He won. I’m sorry, boo.”
Livia had reassured her that it was okay, but she knew Moriko had probably volunteered to stay behind at the restaurant. Things hadn’t been the same since they had last seen each other.
Livia took a deep breath in, listening to the music from the concert hall as it was piped back through the speakers into the dressing room. As each performer was called, the room got emptier until Liv was left alone. Because she was in college, she had asked Jason to stay outside, not wanting the extra attention of a bodyguard around her. She needed to breathe, to get herself into a space where she could perform.
She went to splash her face in the small restroom. Looking in the vanity mirror, she saw how pale she was—she hadn’t slept well the night before. She rubbed her cheeks to get some color into them, hearing the dressing room door open. Expecting the stagehand coming to call her, she was surprised when there was silence. She walked back into the dressing room.
A hand was clamped over her face, an arm hooked around her waist, and she was thrown to the floor. Not having time to scream, Livia kicked out at her attacker. Not again, no way. But this time, he was so much stronger, pressing his forearm against her throat, choking off her air supply.
In horror, Livia felt him push up her dress, tug at her panties. Oh, God, please no …
She kicked out again, her head whirling from lack of oxygen, but desperate to keep him away. He slammed his clenched fist into her stomach and she gasped, doubling up in pain. He ripped her panties from her and forced her legs apart.
“No, please, please, don’t …” Her voice was cracked, barely a whisper despite the fact that she was screaming inside her head. She felt him touch her, but to her great relief, he didn’t try to rape her. She felt him pulling and jerking at his penis and realized he was masturbating. He gave a grunt and she groaned in horror as she felt his semen cover her skin. The knife was in his hand then, pressing against her throat.
“Tell anyone, and I’ll kill all of them. Nox, Amber, Sandor, and your pretty little Asian friend. I will be back for you, Livia, don’t forget it. The next time you see me … this,” he brandished the knife, “will be buried deep inside you, like it was inside of that whore Ariel.”
Then he was gone. The whole attack had taken less than three minutes. Livia lay for a few moments, deeply in shock, before dragging herself up and tidying her clothing. She felt numb. She sat down on the chair again, smoothing the skirt of her dress. She couldn’t even cry.
A knock at the door and the stagehand, Jim, stuck his head in and beamed at her. “Hey, Livvy, two minutes and you’re on.”
“Thanks, Jim.”
He didn’t notice her voice was faint and cracking. Livia blinked a couple of times, and then moved like an automaton through the hallways to the wings. Her ears rang, her body trembled and she felt colder than she ever had in her life. She barely registered when she was announced, and she walked onto the stage to applause and whoops of delight from her friends.
Automatically her eyes searched the room until she saw Nox—and immediately wished she hadn’t. She wanted to scream, to cry, to run into his arms. He was smiling and cheering her, but as she stood still, she saw his expression change to one of concern. The audience had stopped applauding and were now murmuring, wondering what was going on.
Nox started to stand up but Livia shook her head and went to sit at the piano. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. She began to play, her fingers moving across the keyboard, a slowed down version of her piece, channeling all her shock, her fear, her pain into the recital. She had no awareness of the audience or anyone else as she played, only wanting to reach one person, wanting him to know just how much she loved and needed him.
She played for nearly an hour, cycling through every section easily. Her fingers ached, her back was sore as she finished and sat, numb and st
ill.
The audience broke out into rapturous applause, which broke Livia out of her reverie. Shakily, she stood and moved to the microphone at the front of the stage, opened her mouth to speak … and passed out cold.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Nox looked over at Livia as they flew across the Atlantic Ocean towards Europe. Livia had hardly said a word since the attack at the concert. After she’d collapsed, he’d been the first to reach her, clambering over the seats to get to her. Charvi, Amber, and Sandor had looked on in shock as he’d carried Livia off stage and to the dressing room. She awoke in his arms, then screamed when she saw where they were. He’d looked around and noticed signs of a struggle, her torn panties, and his weeping love, and he knew what had happened.
At the hospital, they did a rape kit, even though she told them her attacker did not penetrate her. “This is still a serious sexual assault, Ms. Chatelaine. Let us care for you.”
Nox insisted she let them tend to her, and then the police came. A kind female police officer took her statement. “The rape kit shows he did ejaculate on you, I’m sorry to tell you, so we’ll need to ask you for a DNA sample. And Mr. Renaud, too.”
“Of course,” Nox told her calmly, “anything to help.”
Livia didn’t want to stay in the hospital overnight and so Nox brought her home, putting her to bed and lying down next to her. He stroked her face. “If you want me to go sleep somewhere else tonight,” he said gently, “I won’t be offended. Anything you need, baby, just ask.”
Livia gazed at him. “Just hold me, please, Nox. I’m so cold.”
And so, he did, wrapping his arms around her. Neither of them slept. “Do you want me to cancel our vacation plans? We can always reschedule.”
“No,” she said quickly, “I want to go far away. Far, far away, Nox.”
“Is Europe far enough?”
She half smiled. “Europe, is it?” He felt her body relax. “Yes, that’s perfect.”
He pressed his lips to her forehead. “You want me to tell you where?”
“No, keep it a surprise.”
He studied her face. Her eyes were haunted. “I’m so sorry this happened to you, baby. I would do anything to turn back time and prevent it. I swear, the day we find out who it is …”
Livia shook her head. “Please, don’t. Don’t stoop to his level.”
She hadn’t yet told him everything she’d told the police. “What aren’t you telling me? What did he say to you?”
Livia hesitated for a long moment. “That he was going to kill me the next time he saw me. Like Ariel.”
“Jesus.” Nox closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. “That’s it. No more sending Jason away. No more late shifts at the restaurant. Liv, please … won’t you consider taking a leave of absence? We could stay in Europe as long as it takes to get the asshole. I want you safe.”
“I’ll quit my job at the restaurant. I’m no good to Marcel if I’m behaving like a scared rabbit every time a stranger comes in. I think he’s kind of expecting it anyway. But after New Year’s—I don’t want to abandon him at his busiest time.”
Nox’s mouth had set in a thin line. “Deal—if you agree to extra protection. I’ll make sure Marcel is compensated for the lost business. I’ll have obvious guards and plainclothesmen there. No one will get to you. But afterward, please, I know it’s a lot to ask, but I just want you safe.”
Livia tried to smile. “After all my independent woman rants, I’m agreeing to be a kept woman.”
“A safe woman. An alive woman. After we catch this guy, you can have at the world. Until then, I don’t think it’s wise to be that exposed.”
So now, two days later, they were finally on their way to Europe. Livia looked healthier, at least there was that, but she was subdued. He went to sit next to her and took her hand. She turned and smiled at him. “Hey, you.”
He leaned in to kiss her, felt her lips move against his. “I love you.”
She tangled her fingers in his curls. “Let’s make this vacation a time where we forget the horrors of the past, recent and otherwise, and just make this about us. Romance, making love.”
Nox looked vaguely surprised. “Honey, if you’re uncomfortable with sex at the moment, we don’t have to.”
She kissed him fiercely. “Nox Renaud, you better fuck me good on this vacation, because that’s what I intend to do to you.”
He laughed with a little shocked surprise. “Well, then, you have a deal.” If that was what she wanted—or what she thought she might want—who was he to argue? But Nox knew, if it came down to it and she panicked, he’d be there for her any way she needed him. Hell, if she just wanted to get mad and pummel someone, he’d let her.
He was able to distract her from brooding even more as they crossed into Europe. They flew over France and Germany before he finally relented and told her. “Vienna. Or rather, a small ski lodge just outside of it. I thought you would love the musical heritage of the city.”
Livia looked delighted. “Seriously? My God, Nox, you couldn’t have chosen better.”
“Actually, you chose it, remember?”
Livia squinted at him. “Are you sure?”
“I swear. Your finger landed on Austria … or near enough.”
Livia started to giggle at the mischievous expression on his face. “What does near enough mean? Where did I really point?”
Nox shrugged. “Somewhere in Kashmir.”
Livia started to laugh and she slid over and perched on his knee. “You are a bad man.” She giggled as he blew raspberries on her shoulders. “Crazy boy.”
Nox grinned up at her. “Your boy. Are you mine?”
“I’m your girl always, baby.”
The ski lodge, located halfway up a mountain, was secluded and private, and warmly lit for their arrival. Livia walked around it, her mouth open. “This is gorgeous, Nox. Just beautiful.” She shrugged out of her coat—a log fire was already burning in the grate. She grinned at Nox. “Did you have your Christmas elves come in before we arrived?”
“Something like that,” he laughed and held out his hand. “Come with me. I have some more surprises for you.”
In the kitchen, he showed a refrigerator stuffed with every kind of food, ready for their Christmas. “And a pantry filled of things made entirely of sugar, butter, and chemicals,” Nox said this with a mock serious expression on his face, knowing Livia would laugh.
She grinned. “Good job.”
“And now the bedroom.” He led her along the hallway and pushed open the door to reveal a bedroom, fittingly all in white, with a huge bed in the middle and a glass window overlooking the mountains, the pines heavy with snow outside. “From the living room, at night, you can see the city lit up.”
“This is heavenly,” Livia enthused, then nodded at a box on the bed. “What’s that?”
Nox grinned a little sheepishly. “I was in two minds about this after what’s happened, but I think you’ll enjoy it. Open it.”
Livia pulled off the lid of the box and the layer of tissue paper. She began to laugh. “Oh, you dirty boy.”
Inside lay a supple leather harness, with creamy brown straps that would lie against her pale skin, crisscrossing her body. A riding crop, dildos, lube, and velvet ties were amongst the array of sex toys Nox had gathered.
He grinned. “I went shopping.”
“You certainly did.” Livia picked up the leather harness and held it against her body. She could tell it would fit perfectly. “God, Nox, even looking at this stuff is making me horny.”
Nox laughed. “Can you imagine what shopping for it was like? I did it online, of course, because I’m—”
“Chicken.” They both laughed, and Nox curled a lock of her hair around his finger and pulled her toward him.
“You bet. But, also, in the city, there’s a very well-known and very well-stocked adult shop. One of Europe’s best. I was thinking if we need anything else …”
Livia wound her arms around hi
s neck, feeling absurdly happy for the first time in a while. Here she could pretend nothing bad was happening to them back home, that the rest of the world was just an illusion. “Nox Renaud, you make this woman very happy.” She pressed her lips to his. “Now, what say we grab a shower and something to eat, and then plan our vacation? You want me to slip into this gorgeous harness tonight?”
Nox grinned. “Actually, I was thinking we save it for Christmas day.”
“As that’s tomorrow, I’m okay with that. Just regular old fucking tonight, then?”
“Oh, dang it,” he said, rolling in his eyes, “if we must.” He tickled her until she cried with laughter, then they took a long bath together.
Livia worked shampoo into Nox’s dark curls, which had grown even wilder of late, studying his handsome face. “You know, when I look at us as a couple, you wouldn’t know there’s twelve years between us. You look so much younger than your age.”
Nox immediately screwed up his face and she laughed. “Now, that’s hot.”
She poured water over his head to rinse his hair. “You know, no one’s done that for me since I was a kid and my mom used to sing to me while she was washing my hair.”
“That’s sweet. Every time I see photos of her, I can see you in her features. Not so much your dad.”
“Yeah, that’s what everyone said.”
They ate a small supper, sitting at the large picture windows of the cabin, overlooking the lit-up city. “It’s so peaceful here, so serene.”
“As long as there isn’t an avalanche,” Nox grinned as she squeaked in alarm. “Relax, I’m kidding.” He took her hand. “I love you, Livia Chatelaine.”
She beamed at him. “Love you too, rich boy.”
He laughed. “You know, if you married me, it would be your money too.”
Livia stopped. “What?”
Nox half-grinned. “Just something to think about.”
Livia swallowed hard. “I wouldn’t marry you for your money, Nox.”
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