by Hamel, B. B.
“I’m fond of you too,” she said.
I laughed. “We shouldn’t let your mother acting like a whore cause anything.”
I felt her stiffen suddenly and pull herself away. “Excuse me?”
“I’m just saying, your mother being loose shouldn’t get between the two of us.”
“You called her a whore,” Natalie said.
I narrowed my eyes. “Because she’s acting like one.”
“My mom isn’t a whore.”
I could tell this was about to spiral out of control. I wanted to pull it back, fix it, but I wasn’t about to take what I had said back. Camille was acting like a whore. She was sleeping with another man in her husband’s house after less than a month of marriage. If that wasn’t loose behavior, I didn’t know what was.
“It’s the truth,” I said. “Your mother is acting like a whore. That doesn’t need to affect us, though.”
Her face set into a neutral expression. “I think you should go, Lucas.”
I laughed again, shaking my head. “Come on, Natalie, I’m on your side.”
“And yet you’re calling my mother a whore. I think you should go.”
I shook my head and turned away from her. “Whatever you say, wife.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Good night.”
I walked away, pulling the door open and heading out into the hall.
I balled my fists and headed back to my own rooms. I didn’t understand her, had no clue why she had gotten so upset. She was the first to admit that her mother was a party girl and was an awful mom. And yet if I spoke the truth, suddenly she was going to get angry with me?
I yanked open my room’s door and went inside. I headed over to the bar and poured myself a nice, stiff drink.
It made no sense. I wasn’t the one acting out and treating her family like an asshole; that was Camille. I didn’t get why Natalie would be angry with me, her only real ally and the only person who really gave a shit about her in the whole house. All for speaking the truth?
I slammed back my drink and collapsed onto the couch. I replayed the conversation over in my head, trying to figure out what was really going on.
And then something jumped out at me, something Natalie had said her mother had mentioned about the driver, Franklin.
He spoke Russian.
I stroked my chin, thinking. It was a pretty thin lead, but I was pretty thin on anything else at the moment. And besides, none of our guys spoke Russian, and most of them took pride in that. From what I knew about Franklin, he was just some low-level driver; what was a guy like that doing speaking multiple languages?
I got up and poured myself another drink. I was going to have to investigate this Franklin guy, just in case, which was annoying, since I was already busy as hell with everything else.
And now Natalie was pissed.
Oh well. She’d get over it eventually, or not. I wasn’t going to go groveling back to her like some dog.
I slammed back my drink and headed to bed.
Chapter Twenty-Five: Natalie
I woke up late in the morning, feeling almost like I was hungover.
The conversations from the night before came swirling back into my brain with a vengeance. The image of my mother and Franklin lingered too, but I tried to keep myself from dwelling on that.
I got up and grabbed the breakfast tray from the hallway and carried it inside. The coffee was still hot, which was exactly what I needed. I sipped the strong, black stuff and looked out the window, frowning.
I couldn’t believe how willful and reckless my mother was. She was putting us both at risk. Lucas seemed to think that everything would be okay, or at least that he would make sure I was protected, but that didn’t make me feel much better. I wanted my mother to be okay as well, not just me.
Even though she was crazy and selfish and stupid, she was still my mother. And Lucas just couldn’t call her a whore, just couldn’t disrespect her that way.
Even if she was acting like a whore.
I couldn’t let him talk to me that way. He didn’t seem to understand, didn’t seem to care about anything other than the fact that he was being nice to me and that he was technically right about my mom. He completely missed the point. I wanted him to respect me, and part of that respect meant he couldn’t call my mother a whore.
Maybe I had overreacted. I didn’t feel as angry about it this morning, but still. I knew I had to draw the line somewhere, or else risk letting him talk to me however he wanted.
I felt at a complete loss. I had pushed away my biggest ally in the house right at the time that I needed him the most. And the feeling of his skin against mine kept ringing in my ears, infusing into everything else. Everything had happened so fast, and right at the moment when I was feeling the best about the sudden change in my life.
I was almost back to square one. It felt like I had finally broken through with Lucas, finally given myself up to him despite the obstacles, and suddenly my mother fucked up and sent it all careening off a cliff.
Frustrated, I dressed quickly and went walking through the halls. The place felt like a museum all of a sudden, and I had nowhere I could go that was even slightly comfortable. I felt like I had to keep my hands to myself and stay as quiet as possible, or else someone would yell at me.
Almost on a whim, I found myself heading toward Louisa’s room. I didn’t know why, but I felt like she was someone I could talk to. Maybe that was dangerous; maybe she was closer with her father than she let on, and telling her about what my mother was doing could cause some real problems.
But I had a feeling about her, and I couldn’t shake it. I stopped outside her door and knocked.
“Go away,” I heard her yell from inside.
“Louisa?” I called back. “It’s Natalie.”
There was a pause. “Hold on.”
I waited a second and listened to what sounded like furniture moving around. A minute later, the door slowly pulled open.
“Hey there, sister,” she said, smiling.
“Hi, Louisa. Mind if I come in?”
She cocked her head. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks.” She turned and let me in and I followed her. We sat down on her couches.
Instantly, I couldn’t help but notice the influx of computer equipment. It all looked like it was wired into a central mainframe computer, with all her other computers running complicated-looking programs. I could tell it was way above my head, even with my own solid knowledge of the field.
“What’s all this?” I asked her.
“Don’t worry about that crap,” she said, waving her hand. “It’s just for my gaming.”
“Doesn’t look like gaming.”
She stared at me. “What did you need, Natalie?”
I sighed, looking down at my hands. “Had a weird night last night.”
“What’d my brother do?”
I laughed. “How’d you know?”
“It’s always that way in this house. They fuck up and we’re left trying to figure out how to put it all back together.”
“Not always,” I mumbled.
“So what did Prince Lucas say?”
“Well,” I said slowly, “it’s a bit of a long story.”
“Tell me. Now I’m curious.”
“It involves my mom and your dad. And it’s not very good.”
She snorted. “I don’t give much of a shit about Arturo, but I’ll tell you what. You tell me this story, and I’ll tell you one of my own.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“I’ll tell you why I haven’t left my room.”
“Okay,” I said. I didn’t know why I trusted her or why I was taking the deal, but something told me I should.
And so I told her. Starting with walking in on my mother and ending with her brother’s comments, I told her everything I could remember.
It came out of me in one giant rush. Louisa sat there staring at me, not reall
y reacting one way or the other as I gave her all the details. I actually felt pretty silly when I told her how angry I had been at her brother, but I couldn’t really skip that part.
Finally, I finished and felt tired. Better, like I had drained a wound out or something, but so tired.
“None of that surprises me,” Louisa finally said when I was finished.
“Really?” I asked. “Not even my mother?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know your mother, but she’s a person and people make mistakes.”
“You’re right. And I mean, I get where Lucas is coming from.”
“Don’t defend him,” Louisa said fiercely.
I felt a bit taken aback. “Sorry. I mean, I was just saying.”
“Listen, Natalie,” she said. “If you’re going to stick around, you should know something. The men here, they’re stuck in the Old World.”
“What do you mean?”
“They want everything to be black and white. And in that mindset, women are just frail creatures that cook and clean. Women are either saints or they’re whores. There’s no room for a nuance of emotion, for sexual feeling, nothing.”
I felt surprised, but it was something that I understood without having ever really said it before. The compound was like the old days in how everything worked, complete with servants.
“I get that,” I said. “I know Lucas didn’t mean anything by it, and he was probably right. But I want him to know that he has to respect me and my mother, even when she’s acting like a whore.”
Louisa nodded. “Good. Lucas is probably the most progressive of the bunch. He’ll figure it out and come around eventually. But don’t let him off easy.”
“Thanks. That makes me feel better.”
“And about your mom,” Louisa said. “Don’t tell anyone else. My father can be a vengeful, violent man. You’re right to feel afraid.”
I felt a spike of worry hit my stomach. “What should I do?”
“Nothing,” Louisa said. “Lucas will protect you all. He’s not so bad, deep down.”
I nodded. She had confirmed my worst fears, but she also had strangely made me feel better.
“Okay,” I said. “Now it’s your turn. Why haven’t you left this room?”
She laughed, grinning. “It’s funny. It’s actually related to what we’re talking about.”
“What, my mom being a whore?”
“No. The Old-World mentality, the sexism.” She paused and adjusted herself and then began talking.
“I was never good at school. I was never interested in it, even though I had always been great with computers. School wasn’t hard for me; it was just boring. And plus, I knew what my father and my brother did. I understood what sort of family we were.
“But they kept me from it. They acted like they were protecting me, but I never needed protecting. Finally, I dropped out of school, bitterly disappointing my father. The next day, I demanded that he let me join the family business. I told him that I was a Barone like any one of them and that I deserved to be a part of it.
“He refused. He told me a woman’s place was not anywhere near their business. He wanted me to go back to school, to meet a man and get married, to give him grandchildren. Naturally, that pissed me off. In retrospect, I understood he was trying his best to give me a good life, but I didn’t want his idea of a good life. I wanted the life that I wanted, and I want to be a part of the Barone family.
“And so I went into my rooms and I’ve stayed here ever since. It pains my father greatly that I refuse to leave this piece-of-shit room. It’s my prison and my statement. I will not leave until my father, or the next leader of the family, allows me my rightful place.”
I didn’t know what to say. I stared at her, seeing Louisa in an entirely new light.
I had assumed she was a weird, eccentric, crazy person. And she was weird and eccentric, no doubt. But she wasn’t crazy.
She was strong. I could see her strength and defiance written in every expression, in every fiber of her being, in every word and gesture. And I was beyond impressed.
“That’s incredible,” I said softly.
“It’s not so amazing. It’s just what I have to do.” She stood and walked back over toward her computers and began to tinker with them.
“But what happens if your father never gives in?”
“Then I’ll die in this room, I guess,” she said almost off-handedly.
I could hardly believe her. I shook my head and stood up. “You’re amazing, Louisa. I wish I could have half of your determination.”
“You do,” she said, not looking at me.
“I’m not so sure.”
“Stop feeling so bad for yourself. If you want something, take it.”
I looked at her for a second and let that sink in. “Okay. Thanks.”
“And, Natalie?” she asked. “Your secret is safe with me. I have no love for my father and his little boys’ club.”
“Thanks,” I said, though I wasn’t sure which secret she meant. I got the feeling that she meant all of them.
She continued working on her computers, and I got the sense that our conversation was over. I walked over to the door, pulled it open, and left. She didn’t even glance in my direction.
The door shut behind me and I suddenly felt so much better. I felt lighter. Louisa was an inspiration, and her strength made me feel stronger just for having spoken with her.
I didn’t know what I was going to do about Lucas, but like Louisa had said, I should take what I wanted.
There was no shame in it.
I headed back toward my room, my head abuzz with questions and plans.
Chapter Twenty-Six: Lucas
I stood with Vince on a small bridge overlooking a steam. We were well back in the woods in the back of the compound, well away from anyone that could possibly overhear.
“Well?” he asked. “Why’d you drag me out into the goddamn forest?”
“I got a lead,” I said.
“Must be serious.”
“Might be, but it might not be.” I paused, throwing a stone into the water. “You know that young driver, Franklin?”
“Nice guy,” Vince said. “What’s the deal?”
“I got some information about him. Apparently he speaks multiple languages, and Russian is one of them.”
Vince paused, thinking. “What’s a driver doing speaking a bunch of languages?”
“My question exactly. Knowing Russian isn’t all that suspicious, but if he’s so smart, why’s he just driving us around?”
“Maybe he’s trying to work his way up?”
I shook my head. “I spoke with Roger. He said Franklin never mentioned any languages when he got hired. Said that Franklin just seemed like another city goon looking to get into the crew.”
“Seems odd,” Vince said, “leaving that bit off your resume. How’d you find this out?”
“Can’t say.”
Vince raised an eyebrow. “That’s new. What, you don’t trust me?”
“I do,” I said, “but I’m choosing to hold this one back.”
“Okay, boss. Your call.”
We stood looking out over the water together in silence. I wondered how many times we’d come back to this spot to talk about confidential shit over the years. I’d known Vince most of my life; we were around the same age, and he had joined the crew around the same time that my father had allowed me to start getting my feet wet in it.
But as loyal as he was, Camille’s indiscretions were too dangerous to share. I didn’t know who Vince spoke to or who he trusted, or what he joked about when he was drunk. If it ever slipped out, even by mistake, I couldn’t live with myself. I wasn’t about to be the reason Natalie got thrown out with her trashy mother.
“So what’s the plan?” Vince asked finally.
“Research him,” I said. “And have one of the boys keep an eye on him.”
“Got it. Anything else?”
“Keep it low, if you can
.”
“Will do. Only trusted guys.”
“Good.”
We began walking back toward the compound.
“I gotta ask you boss,” Vince said, “about your sister.”
“Louisa?”
“Natalie.”
“She’s my stepsister.”
He shrugged. “Whatever. She’s your wife, too.”
“Where’s this going?”
“I just want to know what you’re doing with her. That’s all.”
I eyed him. “Seems like it isn’t your business.”
“It is and it isn’t, boss. If you’re actually into this girl, fine, great. But if you’re just messing around, maybe it’s not the best time to be putting your dick into something dangerous?”
I had to take a deep breath to steady myself.
I knew that Vince had my best interests in mind. I knew that he didn’t mean anything by the way he was speaking. We always talked about women that way. It was all bravado and fun. But for some reason, I despised it when he talked about Natalie that way.
She was different. I knew it from the moment I saw her in the club and decided to make her my wife. I knew it when she moved in, and in every moment I was around her.
“Don’t ask me about this again,” I said to him.
He shrugged. “Okay. Your call.”
We walked back toward the house in silence. Vince waved and peeled off toward the west wing, probably to get started on researching Franklin, and I walked back toward the house alone.
My mind was abuzz with Natalie. Just the mention of her name set my veins on fire. I wanted her again, needed her. The thought of her drove me wild with desire.
But she was pissed. I hadn’t heard from her since the night before when she threw me out of her room for talking shit about her mother. In the cold light of day, I understood that I had crossed a line in calling her mother a whore, even if she was acting like one. I wouldn’t accept that sort of talk about my family, and I couldn’t expect any less of Natalie.
But I wasn’t about to apologize. That just wasn’t my style. I wasn’t going to go groveling at her feet like a pathetic loser, especially not after she had kicked me out.