by Hamel, B. B.
“I wish I could walk you home, but it’s pretty important.”
“I totally understand. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I nodded. “Nice running into you.”
He paused and grinned at me. “Yeah, I bet it was.”
What an arrogant asshole. I couldn’t help but smile though as he turned and walked back the way we had come, moving pretty quickly. I watched him go for a second and then turned, heading back toward my apartment.
“Come on, Petey, let’s go home,” I said to him.
There was something about that man, about his delightfully cocky smile and his attitude, like he was the best thing in the world and everyone knew it. There was something about his body, ripped and lean. As I walked home, Petey leading the way, I couldn’t stop thinking about Liam Sullivan. He was the only thing on my mind.
Chapter Seven: Liam
Flirting with the girl I was about to kill. That was a new low for me.
I couldn’t do it. Of course I couldn’t do it. Not when I saw who it was.
I put my head in my hands, cursing my terrible fucking luck. Any other person in the entire city and I probably could have gone through with it. Anybody other than the one woman I couldn’t get off my mind. True, I barely knew her, but there was something pure about her, something that drew me in and made me want to know her more.
And because of that, I was fucked, and so was everyone I knew.
The office in the back of my restaurant felt smaller than it usually did. The walls were cluttered with receipts and other documents, plus pictures of my family: my father, my mother, and my little brother. But none if it mattered to me, not anymore, not since I was well and truly, deeply and darkly, fucked.
The call that pulled me away from her, the call that I was dreading the whole time, came from Max. He was gruff and short, and wasn’t really pleased when I gave him my bullshit excuse. I told him that another person walked down into the underpass at the exact same time the girl did, which made me abort the whole thing. He was pissed, but he didn’t argue, just hung up the phone like he usually did. But hearing his voice, and being reminded of what I was sent down there to do, ruined whatever pleasant moment we had been having. She went from the beautiful, innocent, perfect thing that I needed to the girl I was supposed to murder.
It was hard to keep looking her in the eye after that, so I left.
I sighed, shaking my head. Her dog saved her life. If it hadn’t barked at that exact moment, making her turn around, I would have pulled the trigger. And even though that bark may have condemned me and everyone I loved, I was still thankful for it, because even if I had killed her, and was welcomed into Colm’s inner circle, it wouldn’t have been a real life, not really. She would have haunted me forever.
I’d rather live a short, real life than suffer through a long and fake one.
Before I could dive further into my self-loathing, somebody knocked on my office door.
“Fuck off,” I yelled out.
“Liam, it’s Colin. Colm is on the phone for you.”
Groaning, I stood up and walked to the door, pulling it open. Colin gave me an apologetic smile and handed me his phone. I gave him a ‘go slam your dick in a door’ look and turned away from him. As far as I knew, he was totally in the dark about what was happening, and I intended to keep it that way for as long as possible.
“Liam here,” I grunted into the receiver.
“I heard it didn’t go well.” Colm’s snake voice.
“Yeah, well, some other civilian showed up. I had to abort.”
“Do you know why I want her dead, Liam?”
“Dead bitches don’t talk.”
He laughed. “Of course, but it’s more than that.”
I shook my head, sick of playing games. “What do you want, Colm?”
“You’re from a long line of gangsters and Mob men, all of who stuck to the honor code like the good little boys they were. They thought their honor would help protect them and their loved ones.”
“I know that.”
“Good, so you’ll understand when I say that I need you to bloody your fucking hands. I need you down in the mud with the rest of us. You’re no longer kept above everyone else because of some precious honor or whatever other old-fashioned bullshit.” He paused, and I felt my heart hammering in my chest, my anger beginning to rise. “I need this girl silenced, but I need you dirtied as well. It’s not just about proving your loyalty anymore, Liam. It’s about proving to me that you understand the direction we’re headed, and that you won’t be second-guessing every single decision I make from here on out.”
I was quiet as I absorbed his little speech.
“So you get it, Liam?”
“Yeah, I get it.”
“Kill the girl by tomorrow night.” Another pause. I was practically crushing the phone in my hand, I was so angry. “I don’t want to be your enemy, Liam. I want to be your friend.”
“That’s what I want, too.” I wanted to call him a monster, threaten to break his teeth, but I kept my mouth shut instead. He didn’t know how much I despised him yet, and that was to my advantage.
“It warms my heart to hear you say that. Get it done.”
“I will.”
He hung up without another word. I stared at the phone for a few seconds, jaw clenched, body tense.
Get it together, you fucking pussy.
“Colin, your phone,” I called out. Colin appeared from around the corner and took the phone from my hand. Without a word, I shut the door as he walked away and returned to my seat behind my desk. I leaned back in my chair and looked up at the ceiling, my gut swirling with fear but my chest fighting with determination.
I made a choice. Maybe I made the wrong choice, maybe I doomed people that I loved, but it was my choice. I wasn’t going to give up, not yet, not when there was still a chance.
All I had to do was figure out a way to keep Ellie alive while still keeping myself in Colm’s good graces.
Easy. No big deal.
I sighed, pulled my phone out, and began to type a text.
Me: I’m sorry to do this, but I have to cancel on you tonight. Work stuff. Another time, maybe.
I hit send, frowning. I couldn’t be seen with her, not when other people in the Mob knew her face and knew she was the one that Colm wanted dead. I couldn’t risk that obvious connection, not yet at least. I hated letting her down, but I’d rather she feel a little annoyed than get a bullet in the back.
All I needed was a plan. I pulled a bottle of decent whisky and a glass from the bottom drawer of my desk, poured myself a decent drink, and sipped it.
Chapter Eight: Ellie
Liam: I’m sorry to do this, but I have to cancel on you tonight. Work stuff. Another time, maybe.
I frowned at the text, folding my legs underneath me. I had already showered and was getting ready when he canceled on me. What an asshole. Why would he wait until the last minute? It must have been important, but still. What could have been so important at his restaurant that he couldn’t at least give me a call? It was frustrating and confusing; he seemed pretty into me during our walk, except for at the very end.
On a whim, I tapped on my friend Chelsea’s name and listened to the phone ring. I figured I was already dressed up and in the mood to do something; I might as well not waste the night just because Liam decided to stand me up.
“What up, girl?” Chelsea said.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“I’m decent, exhausted though. Haven’t seen you in like, forever!”
“I know, being an adult sucks.”
“Tell me about it.”
“What are you doing tonight?”
“Honestly? I’m having a few glasses of wine and going to bed by ten.”
“How about some ice cream with me instead?”
“Can I still have some wine later?”
“You absolutely can.”
“Great. I�
�ll meet you at your place. When?”
“Half hour?”
“See you soon.”
“Bye.”
We hung up. I looked down at Petey.
“Liam is such an asshole, right, Petey?”
He looked up at me and wagged his tail. I sighed, leaning back into my comfortable couch. I hadn’t been on a date in a while, and honestly I hadn’t really thought much about it. I knew there were all these different dating apps, which I guess would have been easy enough to use, but it felt weird. And I didn’t want to meet some random guy at a bar, since that could be so sleazy. Instead, I put it out of my mind and didn’t bother.
I have no clue why I was so against meeting guys in a bar. It would make a lot more sense if I were open to meeting someone great anywhere, but I guess I loved to shoot myself in the foot.
Then Liam came along. The situation seemed perfect. He wasn’t married, I wasn’t meeting him through an app or at a bar, and he was attractive. I mean, he was nice and funny and seemed interesting, and he was beyond sexy. I felt like a teenager again, imagining myself running my hands down his shirt and along his muscled chest. I wanted to bite his lower lip so badly.
But he stood me up. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to give him another shot. Then again, you had to respect a man with his own business, especially at such a young age. He hustled, and I couldn’t hold that against him too much. It didn’t exactly upset me, but it was definitely strange.
Shaking my head, I stood up and walked into my bedroom to get changed into something comfortable to wear.
––––––––
Chelsea grinned at me as we walked down the sidewalk toward Philly Flavors on Fairmount Avenue. She was her usual, happy self, though I could see how tired she was around the edges. She was slightly less ready to laugh, and the bags under her eyes were thicker, but otherwise she was the same old Chelsea.
“So he just canceled on you, out of the blue?”
I nodded. “Yeah, through text. I mean, he does own his own restaurant, so there really could be some issue, but still. Call me at least.”
She laughed. “Yeah, seriously. If you want, I can hook you up with one of the lawyers at my firm. There are some nice, hot young partners.”
“No, thanks. I’m not really interested in dating around.”
“Oh, and yet this mysterious Liam guy is good enough for Princess Eleanor?”
I winced. “God, don’t call me that.”
“It’s your name, isn’t it? Anyway, what makes this guy so special?”
I sighed and looked away. I had no clue how to answer that. What did make him so special? He was hot, definitely, but it was way more than that. There was this indefinable part of him, some impossible-to-pin-down presence.
“I honestly don’t know. He’s hot, he’s successful, and he takes care of his little brother. There’s just something about him.”
She nodded and paused. “How hot?”
I laughed. “That’s all you got from that?”
“Yeah, but I mean, how hot are we talking here?”
“I don’t know. One-night stand hot, I guess.”
She whistled. “Coming from you, that’s a big deal.”
I laughed, and she grinned at me as we approached the ice cream store. I ordered a small vanilla cone, and Chelsea ordered a cherry water ice and vanilla ice cream gelato. We walked half a block away from the store and sat down on an abandoned building’s front stoop, eating together.
“How’s work been?” I asked.
“You know, the usual bullshit. Lawyers are all assholes, except for the cute ones, and they make me stay way too late every night. What about you?”
I shrugged. “It’s pretty good, actually. Aside from how gross kids are, I guess.”
She made a face. Chelsea was not the kids type. If maternal instincts were a thing, Chelsea definitely never developed any.
“I’d rather work too hard than work with kids.”
“It can be really rewarding sometimes, you know.”
“So can working at a law firm, except I get rewarded in cold hard cash.”
We both laughed, and I ate my ice cream, looking across the street at a small park. I wondered what Liam was up to, and if his emergency had been taken care of yet. I hadn’t seen him after school, though I had stayed late in my classroom talking to some parents, but I wished I had caught him. Even though he was a huge asshole for ditching me, I still liked to be close to him.
I finished up my cone in silence as Chelsea went on a tirade about some older partner that was constantly borderline sexual harassing her. I felt bad that she had to deal with that stuff, although I was constantly ignoring iffy comments from married dads all the time. We stood up and began walking back toward our neighborhood as the sun slowly began to dip below the horizon.
I felt better after talking to Chelsea. Although we had grown apart lately, despite her moving into my neighborhood, she was still my best and closest friend. The sting of Liam standing me up didn’t seem that bad after spending some time with her. Plus, she was all about calling him a dickhead, which I couldn’t disagree with. She was a no bullshit kind of person, and I loved that about her.
As we turned into the few blocks that made up our tiny little section of the city, a car caught my eye. A block back, a van was crawling along the street, tailing us. I could have sworn it was the same van I had been seeing all over the place lately, though all creeper vans looked exactly the same.
“What’s the matter?” Chelsea said, looking concerned.
I caught myself and realized I had been staring behind us.
“Oh, it’s nothing.”
She looked down the street. “Are you staring at that van?”
“It just looks familiar is all.”
“It just looks creepy, you mean,” she said, turning away from it.
I laughed and mentally kicked myself. I probably looked like an absolute crazy person. As we turned the corner, I watched the van glide past my block, heading south. I let out a huge breath. I was definitely overreacting to it. Something about the way the car was driving so slowly behind us made me feel paranoid, although I had no real reason to worry about it. I hadn’t thought much about vans and crazy guys dumping weird packages into the river lately, and I shouldn’t let myself get caught back up in that.
“Okay, this is where I say goodbye,” Chelsea said, standing at the intersection of our streets.
“We need to hang out more, Chels.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry I’ve been so lame.”
“It’s not your fault. We’ve both been lazy.”
“I know. And we live so close together now, too.”
“Okay, promise right here that we’ll hang out soon?”
“Sounds good.”
We hugged and I smiled at her.
“See you later,” she said, turning and heading toward her apartment.
“Later,” I called after her.
I stood at the corner for half a second, and then I turned and walked toward my apartment. Although it was dark already, I decided I’d give Petey another walk. I didn’t really feel like staying alone all night in my tiny apartment. For some reason, that van had me on edge, and I knew I needed to get out and get myself together before facing the quiet boredom of living alone.
As I walked down my block, the sound of tires turning onto my street startled me. I half turned and saw it: that same black van coming slowly toward me. My heart started to race and sweat climbed onto my body. I knew it was the same one. I was absolutely positive. I definitely wasn’t making it up: the van was following me. I stopped and bent over, pretending to tie my shoe, and watched as the van slowly crawled down my street, going right by me. I watched as it made a left at the next street, disappearing around the corner.
My heart was pounding as I quickly walked to the end of the block, crossed the street, and jogged over to my stoop. I climbed up the stairs and turned around, my back to the door, and watched down
the street. I didn’t have to wait long. About two minutes later, the black van turned the corner and started slowly driving down my street.
I was freaking out. That van was definitely driving around my neighborhood, and I was beyond sure that I had seen it sitting around, parked near my apartment, at least a few times over the last few days. It appeared right around when I saw those guys dumping those weird packages in the river. Could they be the ones driving the van? I was suddenly terrified as I remembered the guy running after me.
I ran upstairs, unlocked my front door as fast as I could, and slammed it shut behind me, banging the deadbolt shut. Petey looked up quizzically and barked twice. I shushed him as I ran into my kitchen and looked out the window. I nervously glanced up and down the street, waiting for it. Two minutes passed, three minutes passed, and nothing. I stood there for five minutes but didn’t see anything.
Maybe it was a coincidence. All those black vans did look alike. Maybe it was just some guy who was lost. Or maybe it was just a neighbor I had never met. I really needed to get myself together.
As I was about to give up, my hands releasing the windowsill and my mind already beginning to think about the rest of my night, I saw it.
The van, the same fucking van, slowly drove down my street. It stopped a few houses away from my apartment and stayed there, idling in the middle of the one-way street. Nobody got in or out. It just sat there as I watched it for what felt like an hour.
Finally, terror pulsing through my body in waves, I pulled out my phone and dialed 9-1-1.
Chapter Eight: Ellie
Liam: I’m sorry to do this, but I have to cancel on you tonight. Work stuff. Another time, maybe.
I frowned at the text, folding my legs underneath me. I had already showered and was getting ready when he canceled on me. What an asshole. Why would he wait until the last minute? It must have been important, but still. What could have been so important at his restaurant that he couldn’t at least give me a call? It was frustrating and confusing; he seemed pretty into me during our walk, except for at the very end.
On a whim, I tapped on my friend Chelsea’s name and listened to the phone ring. I figured I was already dressed up and in the mood to do something; I might as well not waste the night just because Liam decided to stand me up.