by Jen Gilroy
“Understood what?” Mia’s tongue was thick.
“Dad’s selfish. He doesn’t think about other people like you do.” Naomi’s smile was wistful. “He doesn’t want Emma and me to live with him, not really. He just wants to get the better of you, like all of us are one of his business deals.”
“Honey, I’m sorry. Your dad loves you, even though he might not always show it in the right way.” Mia hugged her daughter. “And I love you so much.”
Naomi hugged her back, soft and with a familiar smell of strawberry shampoo. “I’ve asked Dad to back off over and over again, but last night I convinced Emma to talk to him with me. He listens to her more than me.”
Mia studied Naomi’s face for a long moment, seeing her daughter as a person in her own right.
“I think Dad’s finally coming around. He’s upset all of us, you most of all, so I told him if he forced Emma and me to live with him, I’d marry Ty the day I turned eighteen and wouldn’t go to college.”
“You don’t mean that!” There’d been a teasing note in Naomi’s voice, but Mia had to be sure.
“Chill, Mom. You know I’m not serious.” Naomi gave her a knowing grin. “Dad doesn’t, though, so he backed right off. He said he’d have his attorney call Allison, and he was sure we could work something out.”
“What about Emma? How did you manage her?” Mia held her breath. Although Emma had come around, she’d always be her daddy’s girl.
“Ty told me Uncle Sean sold a boat to this rich guy who has a horse farm south of town. The man’s daughter’s too big for her pony, but the pony’s like a member of the family, so selling it would break the girl’s heart.” Naomi’s grin broadened. “The family’s looking for someone to ride the pony, and there’s even a pony club that meets at the farm. Emma wants to learn how to ride a pony more than she wants to live with Dad.”
Mia raised an eyebrow. “I thought your dad promised Emma a pony in California.”
“He promised, sure, but you know what Dad’s promises are worth.” Naomi’s smile disappeared. “He never even let us get a cat, so why would he all of a sudden spring for a horse? I didn’t exactly tell Emma that, but I sort of led her to the right conclusion.”
“Thank you.” Mia’s heart clenched.
Naomi moved closer. “About Nick, you should call him and tell him you miss him.”
Like telling him how she felt had worked out so well for Mia before. “He’s back in New York, and he’s got a great career. You saw him on the news.”
“Why won’t you go out with anybody else?” Naomi’s expression was demure. “Emma said the fire warden who came to talk to her class asked you to have lunch with him.”
Emma saw and heard far too much for her age.
“I’m busy.” Mia glanced toward the kitchen.
“Maybe Nick needs you as much as you need him. He just doesn’t know it yet.” Naomi opened the front door, and cool air rushed in with a scent of crisp October leaves.
Mia was getting relationship advice from a sixteen-year-old? “Hurry, Emma, we’ll be late.”
“You look after everyone else. You always have,” Naomi said. “You tell Emma and me not to give up on our dreams and not to settle for anything or anybody that isn’t right for us.”
Because they were her girls and Mia wanted them to aim for the sky and be happy.
But she deserved to be happy. She had her house, her job, and her family. If Naomi was right, Jay would back off. Mia needed to stop thinking about Nick and find her future.
Without him.
Chapter Twenty-One
How do I look?” Kylie twirled in front of the full-length mirror at the little boutique in Kincaid. Her hair had grown since the summer, and blond tendrils curled below her shoulders.
“Beautiful.” Nick studied the dark purple dress the saleswoman had picked out. “After Lexie, you’ll be the prettiest girl at the baptism.”
Kylie bounced on her toes, and her cheeks flushed pink. “Naomi’s gonna fix my hair, and Emma said she’d loan me a necklace she got for her last birthday.” Kylie twirled again. The slim lines of the dress showed her figure, which was curvier than it had been when she was at Camp Rainbow.
“Does your daughter need shoes?” At Nick’s elbow, the middle-aged saleswoman also watched Kylie.
“Uh, she’s…” The woman’s words slammed into Nick. The room spun, and the mirrors and windows blurred in the sunshine that streamed through the store window.
“I can wear my sneakers.” Kylie stared at her feet. “Nobody will look at me anyway. I don’t even need a dress.”
“Of course you do. Remember what my mom said?” He forced himself to smile at the saleswoman—Marlene, according to the tag pinned to her black top. “And you can’t wear sneakers with a fancy dress.”
“I’ll show you a few pairs to check for size.” Marlene patted Kylie’s shoulder and moved to the rear of the store.
“You don’t have to buy me stuff.” Kylie tugged at the sleeves of the dress. “Or take me places if you don’t want to. Your mom made you bring me here.”
He was busted. “Shopping’s not my favorite thing, but we had fun at the hockey game, didn’t we?” Nick searched her face and wished he could bring the light back into those wary green eyes.
“Yeah.” She gave him a half smile. “That was different, though. My foster family was there.”
“My mom would have taken you shopping if she could, but she was tired after her doctor’s appointment yesterday.” He marked the regular checkups to make sure the cancer hadn’t come back on his calendar, and then breathed a sigh of relief each time she got through another one with the all-clear.
Kylie’s smile broadened. “You brought me here because you didn’t want your mom to kick your ass.”
“True,” Nick laughed, “but you shouldn’t use that kind of language.”
“You do. I’ve heard you.”
Nick swallowed another laugh. “Yeah, but you might forget and use it when you shouldn’t. Like around Mia.” The woman who was never far from his thoughts, but who he hadn’t spoken to in four weeks. The longest month of his life.
Kylie’s smile disappeared, and she picked at a hangnail. “I’ll try, but what I also meant is you don’t have to spend money on me. If you can’t afford it.”
“I can afford it.” Nick’s gut twisted. With what he was earning in New York, he could afford anything he wanted, except the one thing that mattered most. “And I like hanging out with you.”
It had been easier than he’d expected to let Kylie into his life. Maybe because after he’d called his dad, an awkward, stilted conversation with a guy he no longer knew, he’d glimpsed the guy he could become. Old and alone, consumed by bitterness and regrets.
“You like me, don’t you?” Kylie’s eyes were sharp. An old soul in a girl’s body.
“Of course I do. I’d never lie to you.”
Reflected in the mirror beside him, Kylie’s face was serious. “You lied to Mia, though, didn’t you?”
“What do you mean?” Nick looked for Marlene, but the saleswoman was nowhere in sight.
“Mia calls me every Sunday night, but whenever I ask about you, she either doesn’t answer or she tries to distract me like I’m a little kid.”
“Mia and I are friends, but she’s busy with school, and I’ve got work, and it’s been—”
“See? You change the subject whenever I mention Mia, and you stayed in the car when you dropped me off at her place yesterday and picked me up this morning.” Kylie put her hands on her hips, a picture of pint-sized feminine outrage. “Whatever you did, you fucked up big time, and now you’ve gotta fix it.”
“Kylie…”
“It’s true. You did fuck up.”
“I guess I did.” He’d told the kid he wouldn’t lie to her, but although he wanted to, he had no idea how to fix things with Mia. If he could fix things.
“You need to tell Mia you messed up.” Kylie took an open shoebox from M
arlene and stuck a pair of black shoes with lethal heels on her feet. “Apologize, give her flowers and jewelry. Women like shit like that.”
“Kylie.” Nick glanced at Marlene, whose lips twitched. “Remember what I said about your language.”
“Every woman likes a bit of romance.” Marlene gave Kylie a hand to help her balance in the heels.
Kylie teetered toward the mirror. “These shoes are way cool. They make me look fifteen, at least.”
“Aren’t the heels a bit high for a girl your age?” How could he talk to Mia? She never wanted to hear from him again. At least not about anything or anyone unless it involved his mom.
“Girls her age wear shoes like this for special occasions. Dads never want to see how their little girl is growing up.” Marlene beamed at Kylie, who gave her a tentative smile in return.
“Please?” Kylie’s eyes shone before she looked back at her feet and stuck each foot in front of her in turn. “They fit me real good.”
Nick opened his mouth and closed it again. He couldn’t destroy the excitement and pleasure in Kylie’s eyes. “We’ll take the shoes, the dress, and anything else she needs.” He gestured to the stack of clothes Marlene had hung on the changing room door.
“I don’t need nothing else.” Kylie slipped out of the shoes and tucked an arm through his. “But thank you,” she added in a soft voice.
“For what?” Nick pulled his wallet out of his back pocket.
“For everything.” Kylie squeezed his arm, and her touch was warm and confiding. “For picking me up in Burlington and bringing me to Firefly Lake. For getting me something to wear so I’ll look okay at the baptism. And I know you’re gonna talk to Mia.”
“I didn’t…I never said…” Nick stopped and handed his credit card to Marlene.
Kylie untangled herself from him and moved toward the changing room. “I trust you. You’ll fix what you did, ’cause that’s who you are.” She disappeared behind the curtained door, and the rustle of clothing told him she was putting her jeans and sweater back on.
“You’ve got a girl with strong character there.” Marlene put the shoes back in the box and tucked it into one of the boutique’s pink paper bags. “Don’t worry about her language. One of my daughters was the same way once she hit her teens. Liked to get a rise out of me, Lisa did, but she grew out of it. Your Kylie knows you love her and you’ll be there for her. Nothing else matters.”
Nick took the bag with the shoes. “You think?”
“Sure.” Marlene handed him his credit card and receipt. “You’ll make things right with that Mia Kylie talked about. Girls of Kylie’s age need a woman’s guidance, and it’s not good for a man to be all alone.”
Nick swallowed. “How did you guess?”
“Kylie talked you into those shoes real quick, didn’t she?” Marlene’s gray eyes crinkled at the corners. “If there was a woman in the picture, you’d have taken a lot more convincing and asked to see some other pairs.”
He was a sucker for a blond-haired pixie with sparkling green eyes. A girl who’d brought fun, laughter, and love into his life, and who he’d been stupid enough to almost let go.
“Hey.” Kylie burst through the changing room doorway and handed the dress to Marlene to fold into another pink bag.
“Hey, yourself.” Nick passed Kylie the bag with the shoes. “Want to grab some lunch before we head back to Firefly Lake?”
“Sure, but no salad stuff. Mia’s great, except she eats like a rabbit.” Kylie took the dress bag from Marlene then looked at him, her gaze trusting as they went out of the store onto Kincaid’s Main Street, where the fall foliage had just passed its peak. “While we eat, I can help you fix things with her.”
“You’re twelve.”
“Thirteen next month, and I couldn’t make stuff any worse than you already did, could I?” Kylie waved at Marlene through the store window.
“Okay.” He dodged a group of late-season leaf peepers and steered Kylie toward the burger place across the street. “What do you think I need to do?”
Mia fixed her gaze on Reverend Arthur. Sunlight streamed through the stained glass window above his head, and Lexie gurgled in his arms as the baptismal robe worn by three generations of Carmichael babies billowed around her.
Sean’s voice and then Charlie’s said things. Nick said things.
Then her voice as she promised to be there for Lexie and guide her niece in life and faith. Reverend Arthur splashed water on Lexie’s head, and she squealed, which earned muffled laughter from the congregation, who lined the pews behind. Sean’s family, her girls and Kylie, Gabrielle and Ward with Cat and Amy, as well as most of the town.
“Mia.” Charlie whispered and nudged her elbow.
“Sorry.” She took Lexie from the minister as Sean and Charlie went to light a baptismal candle.
Mia stole a glance at Nick, who stood tall and serious to her left. She’d managed to avoid him all weekend, so she only had to get through the next few hours and he’d be gone again.
Then maybe the hurt in her heart would ease.
She rocked Lexie in her arms, and the baby rewarded her with a sunny smile. “All finished, sweetheart, and here’s mommy back for you,” she murmured as she and Nick followed Charlie and Sean to their place in the front pew.
Reverend Arthur opened his hymnbook for the final hymn. The organ music soared and echoed off the vaulted ceiling in the historic church.
“Mia.” Nick’s voice was a hiss under the cover of the music. “I need to talk to you.”
She shook her head, opened her mouth, and pretended to sing. The hymn ended, and the minister gave the benediction before the organist launched into a recessional and the choir and baptismal party followed Reverend Arthur back down the center aisle.
“Wait.” Nick stepped closer to Mia and took her arm in a firm grip. “I mean it. I need to talk to you.”
But she didn’t need to talk to him. “Not here.” She smiled at Kylie on the end of a pew next to Gabrielle, then Liz Carmichael three rows back with Luc Simard and his folks.
“Then where?”
“I promised to help serve lunch in the parish hall. We’re Lexie’s godparents, and Charlie and Sean want to take pictures, so we can’t—”
“I’ve already cleared it with Sean. They can manage without us for ten minutes, and I’ve drafted in Cat to serve lunch in your place. I have to speak to you.”
His voice was urgent, and a little part of Mia melted. “We’re still in church.” Technically, although they’d reached the entryway, the front doors were wide open, and the bells in the tower pealed out to celebrate Lexie’s special day.
“If a man can’t say what’s in his heart in church, where can he say it? Use my office, son.” Reverend Arthur gestured to a door on the left of the foyer. A fringe of white hair encircled the minister’s head like a halo, and he gave them a saint-like smile as he moved to open the door. “Take all the time you need.”
“Thank you.” Nick dropped Mia’s arm and clasped her hand as the office door closed behind Reverend Arthur with a soft click.
Mia stared at Nick as if hypnotized. She couldn’t make a run for it because, by now, not only her family but half the town would be milling about in the church entrance.
“Nick.” He was the most private guy she knew. Didn’t he realize how many people would have seen him pull her in here? The gossip would spread through Firefly Lake and beyond faster than a mountain wildfire.
He flashed her a devastating grin like he was way ahead of her. “I made a big mistake last month. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life because I didn’t know any better.” His smile turned tender and sweet. “Except, this mistake I knew better but I went ahead anyway.”
“You did?” Mia’s mouth got dry.
“Yes, and I’ll always regret it. I hurt you, and I’m sorry. Sorrier than you’ll ever know.” His voice was low, raw. “You gave me your love, and I threw it aside like it was worthless.”
Mia
swallowed. “I—”
“No.” Nick’s gaze never left her face. “This whole mess is my fault. I was too stupid to recognize I love you back. Too stupid to realize I had to let go of the past and stuff that wasn’t true anymore. Some of it wasn’t ever true, but I thought it was, so I guess that amounts to the same thing.”
Mia curled her fingers around Nick’s and held on like he was a lifeline. “You love me?”
“I do, and I hope you still love me and can find it in your heart to forgive me.” He moved closer, and his warm breath feathered Mia’s cheek.
She breathed in his familiar aftershave, warm and comforting but sexy with a hint of danger. “If I forgive you, then what?” Even though a part of her wanted to forget about tomorrow, fall into his arms, and say yes to whatever he offered, she wasn’t that woman anymore. She didn’t want to be such a woman ever again.
“I want you to think about building a life with me. A forever life.”
Mia took her hands away from Nick’s. She’d had the promise of forever once. A proposal at sunset on a Florida beach with Jay on bended knee. A tiny box holding a massive diamond ring from a man who’d lied to her almost from the start of their life together.
“Those are nice words, but how can I be sure you mean them?” She might be throwing away the best thing to ever happen to her, but if she didn’t ask, she’d always wonder if she’d given in too soon and started to lose herself again.
“That’s a fair question.” Nick gave her a half smile. “I love you even more for asking it. I can’t promise the two of us together will be easy. I’m stubborn. I don’t like to talk about my feelings, and I also work too much, but maybe you can help me with all that.”
She gulped. “For us to be together, I’d have to come first, before your work.”
“You would, I swear it.”
Mia couldn’t doubt the sincerity in his voice. Still…she channeled the woman she was. All of her. “I need to know you love me for me.” Jay never had, and Mia had spent almost half her life trying to be good enough. All for a man who’d never been good enough for her.