There’s a large area near the back with sofas and large binders. They have photos on the walls of this part of the shop. They look like clothes they made but the shots feel all wrong for the style of clothing, and the cool vibe of the store. I wonder who took them. I’m still standing in a trance when a lady with beautiful wavy auburn hair walks up.
“Welcome back, Jackie,” she says. “Your dress is in the room just waiting for you and it’s fabulous.” Her smile is warm with an edge of excitement in it. I like her already.
“Hi, I’m Leigh.” She turns to me. “You’re here with Jackie?”
“I’m Dani. A, uh, friend. We’re roommates,” I explain.
“And you’re a photographer.” She looks down at my camera.
“Wannabe.” I shrug. She’s easy to like. I’m comfortable with her already.
“You must be due pretty soon. Wanna sit? It’s going to take Lori and me a few minutes here.”
“Yeah, I probably should. My doctor is always giving me a hard time for spending too many hours on my feet.”
I sit on the large, grey sofa, and look again at the large photos on the wall. I bet they cost a fortune. There’s close to ten and all about four feet tall, maybe more.
“What do you think?” she asks.
“The clothes are beautiful,” I can be honest about that.
“Well, thank you, but I meant the photos themselves.” She shifts her weight to one leg and crosses her arms in front of her.
I look down, not wanting to answer.
“Yeah, my husband Brian doesn’t like them either. He’s an artist. Well, he does graphic design for a living, but really, he’s an artist. He says they don’t go with the vibe of the store.”
I nod unconsciously.
“You agree.”
I shrug.
She sighs. “Well, it’ll have to wait. There’s too much going on right now. Let me know if you need anything. I’m going work.” She turns and walks to the door that Jackie just disappeared into.
“Are you here with Jackie?” I hear another woman’s voice from behind me. A striking woman with short dark hair and funky glasses comes up behind me. She’s almost as short as me.
“Yeah, I’m Dani.” I nod. “We’re roommates.”
“I’m Lori Tressman. It’s nice to meet you, Dani.” She walks around the couch. “Wow, you’re at the really fun part of being pregnant.” She laughs.
I reach my hands around my stomach. “I have about three weeks left.”
“Well that’s exciting.”
I don’t answer. I don’t know what it is. Right now it’s terrifying. The people at social services have nearly given up on me.
We both look up as Jackie comes out of the room wearing a stunning black gown. Leigh is right behind her.
“Well, it would be exciting if she knew what was happening with the baby at the end of all this.” Jackie half laughs at me.
I sigh.
“Hey sweetie, I have lunch!” A tall, broad man with tattoos poking from underneath a snug T-shirt comes in the door followed by what has to be his son. They’re nearly identical—same brown hair, and deep eyes. Though the kid’s probably eight or nine. He eyes go from me on the couch and then to Jackie standing on a pedestal in front of the mirror.
“Oops,” he sets down the bags. “Well, it’s just a salad so it’s not like it’ll cool off…though it may wilt.” He chuckles. I find myself stealing more than one glance his direction. Not only is he very handsome , but he has a kind face, kind eyes.
“Wow, your tummy is really big.” His son looks down at me.
“Oh, Nathan….” Leigh starts to scold.
“It’s okay.” I grab my stomach with both hands. “Yes, it’s really big. I’m working hard growing a baby in there.”
He nods seriously, making me smile.
“Wanna sit?” I ask him patting the couch next to me.
“Yeah, Dad made us walk.” His voice is thick with exasperation.
“That can be rough.” I’m getting a kick out of this kid.
“I’m Brian.” His dad holds out his hand for me to take.
“Dani.”
Nathan’s eyebrows pull together. “That’s a boy’s name.”
I laugh. “Danielle is my real name, but I go by Dani.”
“Okay.” He seems satisfied.
I look behind me at the racks of clothes and the photos on the walls. The atmosphere in the shop is an odd mix of comfortable family and urban chic. It’s strange, but I’m absolutely loving it. I get a kick in the ribs from little girl and my hands immediately go to my stomach. I gasp once.
“She kicking you again?” Jackie laughs. Lori and Leigh are both absorbed, pinning all around her, taking the dress in and up. Leigh stops and stares at me for a moment too long. She takes a deep breath in and goes back to work. Her husband walks up behind her, leans in and kisses her softly on the neck. I can tell she’s embarrassed by his attention in front of company, but she gazes up at him anyway. I think it’s sweet.
“She kicks you in there?” Nathan’s eyes grow wide, staring at my stomach.
“Yep, all the time. Wanna feel?”
“Cool.”
I reach out and take his hands to place on my belly. I push on her kind of hard. I want to make sure he’s not let down. He isn’t. Little girl kicks and wiggles and moves all over the place. My stomach looks like it’s dancing. I’m still not used to it.
“Mom!” He looks up at Leigh. “This is awesome! You have to feel this.”
“Oh Nathan, poor Dani doesn’t want a room full of people with their hands on her tummy.”
“I actually know almost no one around here, so I don’t mind at all . S he’s really going crazy in there.” Something about the way Leigh sounds or looks, I don’t know. There’s something that makes me feel like she’ll love it. She slowly sets down her pins and sits on the opposite side of me from Nathan. She’s still looking hesitant so I take her hands in mine and press them against my tummy where little girl kicked last.
I look down at Nathan. “I bet you did the same thing to your mom when you were in her tummy.”
“Oh, Leigh didn’t grow me in her tummy. My other mommy did that.”
I look at Leigh but she’s smiling at Nathan. “Yep. Because families come in all shapes, right?”
He laughs at that. It must be a family joke. I’m guessing Brian was married before then or something, because Nathan’s definitely his kid.
“We’re on the list for a baby, but since we already have Nathan, we’re nowhere near the top.” She shrugs.
My mind is reeling. These people are so awesome. How are potential moms not fighting over them?
Jackie turns around and looks at me. “Well, Dani, we just solved your problem!”
I don’t know what to say.
“Look at them!” Jackie can’t contain her excitement. “They’re like the coolest Mormon family ever, they want a baby and you have one you don’t want!” She pauses a bit then unapologetic, “Well, not one you don’t want…but…”
I’m used to Jackie. Everyone else isn’t sure what to say. They all realize she put me in an awkward position. I’m surprised that Brian and Leigh are Mormon. Not because of the way they are with each other, they just seem a little too cool. I laugh at myself then. What a silly thing to think.
“I need to help finish that dress.” Leigh gets up, probably trying to give me some space. She walks over to Lori and Jackie to help finish up. “Looks like we’ve about got it , Jackie.” Leigh smiles at her. “I’ll help you get out of that dress without getting stuck.” Jackie’s going to look like a goddess in that dress, and she knows it. She can’t take her eyes off the mirror as she steps off the small pedestal and into the dressing room.
Lori stands up and goes to her computer behind the counter. Brian comes and sits down.
“Well, that was awkward.” He looks over at me. “Sorry.”
“No, no, it’s okay. I’m used to Jackie.” Or, s
till in the process of getting used to her. “I keep feeling like I’ll just know and it hasn’t happened yet.” I can’t believe I’m saying this to a stranger. “I’ve looked through the books at the office so many times and…” It sucks.
Nathan climbs off the couch, goes behind the counter and starts to dig through the bags of food.
“I can’t imagine what that must be like.” He talks in this nice, quiet voice. He’s a man who’s probably been through a lot.
“Well, it’s not what I would have chosen for this year of my life, but it’s brought a lot of good things, too.”
He’s quiet, waiting for me to continue.
“Well, I joined the church because of it. My dad’s a pastor.”
His eyebrows rise. “That couldn’t have been easy.”
I shake my head. “We don’t talk.”
“How old are you, Dani?” He looks at me intently for a moment. “I’m sorry, that was rude.”
“No, it’s fine. I turned eighteen in April.”
“And now you’re on your own.”
“I live with Jackie . H er family’s been nothing but wonderful.”
“I’m glad you have that then, don’t be afraid to use it. I’ve seen Jackie a few times.” His eyebrows raise and he looks at me like he’s seen her here a lot more than just a few times. “She’s not a bad girl. Take any help they offer. It’s easy for them.”
I still don’t feel comfortable with that and just sigh again.
“One thing my wife and I have learned is that doing things by yourself is a lot harder than doing things with help. Don’t be afraid to take it.”
I turn toward him and whisper. “So, your wife can’t have kids?”
“When she was your age, she was fighting ovarian cancer. They left one ovary in, just on the off chance she’d be able to have kids later and then just after we got married, she got cancer in that one. It took her a long time to recover from all of that. We moved out here because of my job. She loves it and works now with Lori. Lori’s twins are here a lot as well.”
Wow, I’d way rather be pregnant than sick with cancer. Sometimes the craziest things help you feel better about your situation.
“I agree with you about the pictures,” I say looking back up at the wall and changing the subject.
“What?”
“On the wall. Your wife said that you didn’t love them.”
“Oh, yeah. They make me crazy. They show the clothes okay, but what the girls do here is about so much more than that. The problem is that I maintain their website and these are the pics I have to work with. It’s exasperating.” He tilts his head toward my camera. “Think you can do better?”
I shrug but I know I can do better than that—especially if Jackie is willing to help me.
“Well, once you get things settled a bit, you know where to find us.”
“About the baby…” I’m not sure what to say. “Maybe we could talk sometime or something?”
He looks at me carefully for a moment. “Don’t feel like you need to do anything because of what Jackie said. It’ll happen.”
“But what if it’s a good match for both of us?” I ask as goose bumps spread across my body. For the first time, I’m starting to feel hopeful. I’m wondering if they’ll even want my baby.
He looks hopeful too, but like he’s afraid of it. “Can you do me a favor?”
“Yeah, maybe.” I have no idea what he could want.
“Don’t tell my wife you’re even thinking about it until you’re sure. She’s had a lot to deal with, and I don’t want to see her crushed by something again.”
I nod. I wonder what it would be li k e to have someone care for you like that. Someone willing to take the hits so you don’t have to. I smile a little, the way he loves her is so... Well, any girl would want to be loved like that.
“You live in Seattle, right?”
I nod again—been doing that a lot.
“We do too. Leigh, Nathan and I pop down here fairly often. Leigh likes working with Lori, and she likes seeing her brother Joseph, and my job allows me to be fairly mobile.”
“I work at Pike Market. I’m near the fish stand. Maybe I’ll bump into you one day around lunch time this week.” I’m actually hopeful. For real.
“Then maybe you and I should both spend some time on our knees.” He looks at me intently for a moment. I can barely breathe. This is real. Then he takes a breath in and puts on a wide, friendly smile, preparing for the interruption we can hear coming.
“Whew!” Jackie says as she comes out of the dressing room. “That was exhausting.”
I want to laugh. Everyone but her had been working, doing something.
“So, did you two hash out the details?” Jackie leans in and whispers to me.
“Something like that.” I can’t believe that I might be nearing the end of decision time.
18
I have another doctor appointment today. My doctor does another ultrasound because she’s afraid the baby has turned right side up, but she’s still happily upside down, where she’s supposed to be. I ask for her to print off a picture of the baby’s face, just in case I meet up with Brian and Leigh. She’s so big now they can barely do it. I go home and pray and pray. I feel good, but it hasn’t all come together yet. Brian and Leigh feel good, but it’s almost too convenient. It didn’t come the way I expected it to.
Brian, Leigh, and Nathan show up at lunchtime. Brian and I both act surprised, and Leigh looks happy to see me again.
“Take off for a few minutes,” Tanya insists. “It’s slow today, I’m going to leave you alone later on. So take your lunch now, and you can chat with your friends.”
“Okay.”
Brian is looking at the photos Jackie had framed up. I’ve sold more than I expected over the summer.
“These are yours?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“I may call you for some of them.”
I’m flattered and don’t know what to say.
“Well, why don’t we get lunch,” he suggests.
“Okay.” This pregnancy is really draining my brain. My thoughts aren’t just wandering, I’m just sort of muddling through at this point.
“How you feeling?” Leigh asks. “I’m sorry, I bet you hate that. I hated that when I was sick,” she adds.
“No, no, it’s okay and aside from feeling like my body couldn’t possibly grow another inch, I feel good.”
“Good. I can’t imagine. It must just be amazing.” She has this wistful expression on her face.
I spent nearly nine months wishing this wasn’t happening to me, but to know that it would never happen? That would be even harder.
“Ohh, can we eat here? I love Chinese food.” Leigh points.
I nod and sit down on one of the outside tables. There won’t be many more days of warm sunshine.
“I know what my wife wants, but what would you like?” Brian asks.
“Anything small. There’s not a lot of room left in there.”
He nods and walks away. He’s trying hard to be casual, but I’d bet he’s working at it.
Leigh sits down next to me, and I put my hands on my tummy like I always do when I sit. There really isn’t anywhere else for them to go. My lap has disappeared. Little girl starts moving around like she does this time of day.
“Wanna feel?” I look at Leigh.
She can’t hold in her smile.
Brian watches us carefully as he stands at the counter waiting to order.
I take her hands in mine again and place them on my tummy. She closes her eyes and breathes in deeply. “When I first started college, before Brian and I even started dating, my neighbor was pregnant.” She still has her eyes closed. She’s lost in the memory. I like this about her. It happens to me all the time, or it did before I got pregnant.
“I used to sit with her outside for hours with my hands on her tummy, just like this.” She opens her eyes and looks at me. “I loved every minute of it.”
<
br /> As she’s looking over at me I know. She’s perfect. They’re perfect. It makes the fact that I’m actually letting go of my girl so much more real. My heart squeezes tight, but I know this is the right thing. The voice is unmistakable. I think about what this will mean to the family sitting in front of me. I’ve known them for minutes, but know I could trust them with anything. I know I will be trusting them with my girl. A few tears slide down my face.
My Forever (The Next Door Boys) Page 14