by Beale, Fleur
‘Those are overalls!’ Addy shrieked.
‘Mechanic overalls. Farmer overalls,’ I howled.
‘And they are not smart!’ Jax could hardly get the words out past her giggles.
Cara grinned. ‘You’ll be glad of them when you’re on Motutoka. You need proper, effective clothing that will stand up to the rough conditions.’
It was weird. If Lizzie hadn’t pulled her look at me stunt, that shopping trip would have been the pits. I mean — how cool is it to get an entire wardrobe of clothes that could be described as sturdy, sensible and hard-wearing? But the whole thing became a riot — which I don’t think either Cara or Lizzie appreciated, making it all the better.
In the footwear aisle:
Addy: Boots for Madam?
Me: Please. One for each foot.
Jax: Tramping or gum?
Me: I have teeth for my gums, thank you.
Yeah, I know — juvenile in the extreme but it seriously pissed off the other two. Then Jax found the shirts. She held one up. ‘This is a bush shirt. A tartan, woollen bush shirt.’ She put it on and adopted a pose. We collapsed in fits of giggles.
Cara, in a very chilly voice, said, ‘That’s enough, girls.’
Addy turned so Cara couldn’t see her, and mouthed, ‘She’s shirty!’
That finished us — everything was funny from then on: the tramping shorts, track pants, thick jerseys — the lot.
Lizzie walked off. ‘I’ll wait for you in the car.’ She disappeared and Cara looked like she was wishing she could follow her. Too bad, lady — this is your party and you have to stay to the end.
She was fairly crisp with us in the car. Not even Lizzie escaped: she asked Cara if she’d drop her back at her house, to which Cara snapped, ‘I’m sorry, Lizzie — time’s against me.’
Damn fine. Lizzie, you’ve got it coming.
She almost ran from us when we tumbled out of the car. I yelled after her, ‘You can face it now or later, Lizzie. But I’m telling you — if it’s later it’s going to be ugly.’
She stopped, turned, didn’t say anything, just marched right on into my house. We went to my bedroom. Nobody sat down.
‘Talk,’ Addy ordered.
Lizzie lifted her chin. ‘All right! So I’m a cow! Shoot me.’
I shook my head. ‘Too quick. Too easy.’
Jax said, ‘Why did you do it?’
Lizzie flounced, then leaned back against the door. ‘Oh! All right. I know I shouldn’t have. I know I’m a cow.’ She brushed the blonde mop back from her forehead. ‘But I wanted to be on television.’ She looked at each one of us, her eyes intense. ‘I’ve always wanted it. And this was my chance. I thought if Cara saw me — if she could just see how I can relate to the camera — then she might choose me for her next project.’ Her eyes travelled over the three of us. We said nothing. ‘You have to take chances when they’re offered, don’t you see?’ Apparently we didn’t. She leaned towards me. ‘You’re so lucky, Min. You’re going to be on national television. You’ve got the chance to be a star and all you can do is moan.’
We gaped at her, standing there with her fists all bunched up and her face intense and yearning. ‘Haven’t you forgotten what I’ve got to do that’s going to get me on telly?’ I asked, with just a touch of sarcasm.
‘And what about having to leave her boyfriend for a whole year?’ Addy asked.
Lizzie shrugged. ‘Seb King! Look, you’d have broken up in a month or two anyway.’
I wanted to hit her. Jax grabbed my arm, and said, ‘How can you say that?’
Lizzie snapped, ‘Because it’s what happens. Look how long he stuck with Jilly and she’s having his baby.’
I walked towards her and opened the door she leaned on. ‘I think you’d better go home, Lizzie. I think we need a break from each other.’
She went without another word.
None of the three of us said anything for the longest time. Then Jax said, ‘I didn’t know she felt like that about being on telly.’
Addy and I shook our heads. It was news to us as well. ‘Things are already changing,’ Addy said.
Later, I watched them walk down the road away from me and a chill touched my heart. What if we grew apart while I was away? My world that had been so solid just a few days ago now felt like it was built on a meeting of earthquake faults, any of which might open and swallow me.
There was still no postcard from Seb.
six
A couple of days later we did the first-aid course. I decided that if anyone got sick or injured it had better be me, because I’d faint, run or vomit if I was faced with any of the dinky little scenarios they’d dreamed up for us to practise with. Dad, of course, bounded through the whole thing, grinning all the way. Mum kind of wafted, looking as if her mind was somewhere entirely different. Noah’s mind was somewhere entirely different. I hoped that if I did ever require first aid it wouldn’t be up to him to give it to me.
At the end of the course, Dad took us out to dinner. Noah ate a complete side of beef, then asked a question — the first I could remember him asking for about a decade. ‘How come she gets to do the filming?’
I saw Mum and Dad glance at each other and I could read their thoughts: He’s showing interest! Fantastic!
Dad punched the calm-voice button. ‘We discussed it. You’ve got a big year of school to get through. Correspondence isn’t a breeze, you know. We didn’t want to load you up.’
I pushed the button for cool and inscrutable. I wasn’t fooled for one second. Old Cara would have sized Noah up in a glance. Stoner. Don’t want him on the end of a camera. Then a thought occurred to me — why not Mum-the-artist, or Dad-the-conservation-expert?
Mum: (brief and tone not inviting discussion) I didn’t want to.
Dad: (hearty) I’m going to be too busy.
Great. I was the choice you make when you haven’t got a choice.
My first filming lesson was scheduled for the next day, but I wasn’t looking forward to it because old Cara had said no and absolutely not when I’d asked if my friends could come too. I’d decided to forgive Lizzie and even though I knew she’d perform again if there were cameras around, she was still my friend. Luckily, the others felt the same way. ‘We can handle it,’ Jax had said.
‘Yeah,’ said Addy. ‘She’s a nut, but she’s our nut.’
But no chance. Cara wouldn’t be budged and I was not enjoying myself.
‘Minna, concentrate!’ she ordered. ‘This entire enterprise is going to depend on you. I thought they taught filming at school these days.’
I dumped the camera on the floor. ‘Look Cara, I’ll do a heap better if my friends can be here.’ She was too serious, too impatient, and I didn’t like her.
‘No,’ she said. ‘Now let’s get serious here.’
‘No,’ I said, and started walking away. I realised, rather late it’s true, that I was the one with all the power in this particular exchange. She knew it too because she gave in, but not exactly gracefully.
I went home, phoning my friends as I ran.
‘Excellent!’ Addy said.
‘Tell her we want a camera each,’ Jax said.
‘Thank you!’ chortled Lizzie.
My spirits lifted. Today there would be the postcard from Seb and he’d say how much he loved me and tell me he’d wait for me.
There was nothing. I was glad to have the filming to do. It was fun with all of us there, and we got down to business once she’d told us how much the dinky little cameras cost. We were careful enough with them to not give her a heart attack every second minute.
Lizzie was definitely a pain. She didn’t want a camera, she wanted to be the star. Oh well, what the hell — it gave us something to film.
‘You’ve done well,’ Cara said at the end of our final session. ‘I congratulate you, Minna. I thought we were in trouble when you wanted your friends to come along, but I was wrong.’ She grinned at the three of us. ‘I’d be happy to let any one of yo
u loose with a camera now.’
Lizzie sidled around until she was in Cara’s line of sight, then she pushed at her curls. Cara nodded at her. ‘There’s some very nice footage of you, Lizzie.’
Lizzie looked back at her, didn’t say anything for several seconds, then murmured, ‘Contact my agent if you’re interested in using me in the future.’ And she gave Cara a business card!
The three of us nearly died trying not to laugh. You had to hand it to Lizzie — she had class.
‘You are classic!’ Addy told her as we ran home against the wind.
Lizzie smirked. ‘She’s been useful to me, but she doesn’t do the type of stuff I’m interested in.’
So when did all this interest start? But I couldn’t be bothered asking. Instead, I said, ‘Watch out for Cara. If something’s good television, then she’ll crawl over broken glass and her dying grandmother to get it.’
‘A slight exaggeration,’ said Jax.
I stopped walking in order to make my point, which they needed to inscribe in their souls. ‘You think back to that stuff we did in the warehouse. D’you want that appearing in living rooms all over the country?’
They shuddered — Lizzie too, I was interested to see. ‘No way! Ask Cara to can it.’
‘I did. She laughed and said it was great footage.’ I rubbed my face. ‘It was a wake-up call for me. I’m not going to film anything embarrassing.’
I stayed the night at Lizzie’s house. She fiddled around after we’d eaten and I got fed up and told her to sit down. She did, then burst out, ‘Min — I really am sorry about what I did — you know, on the day Cara got your clothes. It was awful. I should have …’ Her voice trailed off artistically.
Maybe I’d have been convinced, except I remembered her advice about getting Mum sweet again. So I just said, ‘Yes, you were. Let’s not talk about it.’
Ha, Lizzie — got you.
Sunday rolled around — the last day of the holidays, but also the day Seb was to get home. If he hadn’t bought me a koala I’d die, I really would — plus he’d better have a damned good excuse for the lack of postcards. I collected up all my gear that had got spread between my friends’ houses and took it home.
I went looking for Mum with the intention of telling her I was going to have dinner at Addy’s house. Worth a try. She might have forgotten Seb was due home at seven tonight. She was in her studio. I paused in the doorway, wondering if it would be a good idea to disturb her or if I should just leave a note. I heard a sniff followed by a distinct sob. My mother was crying. I backed out of the room and slipped from the house. I sent off texts: Crisis mtng beautox.
In thirty minutes we sat at our favourite table, upstairs looking down on the street.
‘Spill!’ Addy commanded once we had lattes in front of us.
I turned mine around and around on its saucer and said, ‘I think Mum’s losing it.’
They put down their cups and I felt their eyes on me.
‘This stuff is foul.’ Addy pushed her cup away. ‘I’ll never develop a taste for it. What d’you mean — losing it?’
I stirred the froth into different patterns. ‘She was crying. In her studio.’
‘Why?’ asked Jax. She was the expert because her mother cried regularly for an entire orchestra of reasons.
I wriggled my shoulders. ‘How would I know?’
They said nothing for ages. Then Lizzie pushed away her cup too. ‘To hell with this. Let’s have hot chocolate instead.’
I was jumpy. There was Mum falling apart for starters, but more important, there was Seb. I couldn’t get him out of my head. ‘What if he says he won’t wait for me? What if …’
Lizzie put a hand over mine. ‘Shut it, Min. What’s the use of all the worry? He either will wait, or he won’t. Nothing you can do.’
True, but it didn’t help my state of mind. I got up. ‘Going home. Thanks, guys.’
I crept into the house, and tiptoed to my room. I hoped Mum would have it together by the time I came face to face with her. The time dragged. Seven o’clock came and went. Seb would have landed. How soon till he phoned me? Maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he’d already decided I was history.
The phone went. Lizzie. ‘Just wanted to tell you to stop chewing your fingernails.’
Ha ha, very funny. I didn’t talk long, just in case Seb phoned. Two minutes later, the phone rang again and it was him. ‘Hiya, doll!’
‘Seb! I’ve missed you!’ Don’t cry, Min. You were crying the last time he saw you.
‘Look babe, can’t talk now. Just leaving the airport. Got you a koala. Bye now.’
‘Goodbye.’ But he’d already gone and that was it for the day. I didn’t know what to think. I phoned Jax. ‘It’s great that he phoned me. I’m so happy about that. But he didn’t say … ’
‘Yeah,’ said Jax. ‘I know. He’s a boy.’
Mum called out that dinner was ready. I hung up and wandered out to the kitchen wondering what I’d find in the way of embarrassing weeping mothers, but she was totally normal.
School started again in the morning. It was difficult to get excited about it seeing as how I was going to be out of there in two short weeks. The only reason I went was to see Seb, and that wasn’t the romantic tryst of the century either. Most days I only got to spend intervals with him and usually we got interrupted by some stupid idiot who just had to chat to him about this team or that match.
He gave me the koala on Tuesday because he forgot to bring it on Monday. It was sweet and furry and cuddly. I hoped he’d say something sweet and loving, but he just thrust it at me and said, ‘Here you are, doll.’
Every day I hoped he’d say something about loving me and waiting for me. But he didn’t, and I couldn’t ask.
seven
The weekend came — my last weekend in the civilised world for eons to come. And there was no hope that I’d be able to spend any of it with Seb because Mum stuck to me like chewing gum all weekend and if she wasn’t there, Dad took over.
My friends came over to my house on Saturday afternoon because the chewing-gum duo wouldn’t let me out of their sight. Mum actually came into my room at about five and told the girls they’d have to go home because we were going out, which was news to me.
I hid my face in my hands. ‘She is so embarrassing!’
Lizzie rolled off my bed and stretched herself. ‘You know, she’s different. Kind of edgy and strung out.’
‘Losing it,’ I said.
They left and I went back to my room. Mum turned up again, probably to make sure I hadn’t done a runner. ‘You need to get ready,’ she said, as if I knew what I had to get ready for.
‘Why? I can’t go anywhere.’
She spoke slowly and clearly. ‘To the farewell dinner with the grandparents.’
Oh, that.
‘And wear something that won’t upset Gran H.’
Well, that cheered me up. I dug down through the layers in my wardrobe till I’d assembled an outfit that turned me into the fashion victim of the year: crop top, g-string with diamante flower (recycled from the dirty washing but I’d be the only person to know that) and low-cut jeans I’d grown out of last year but still almost fitted.
I examined myself in the mirror. Have to admit I nearly gave in and put on something stylish. But my grandmother’s face swam into my head — an occurrence I do not encourage. I swear I could see her pinched-up mouth and scrunched-up frown at the sight of all that naked flesh, and that did it. I’d stay as I was, which would give her something definite to disapprove of instead of the general and non-specific disapproval I normally got.
I still had Lizzie’s straightening irons so I did my hair and then I hit the make-up. Gran H likes the natural look. She doesn’t think young girls should wear any make-up at all. I gave myself Cleopatra eyes and a bright red cupid-bow mouth. Last of all I threw on a sweatshirt as camouflage until we got there.
Seb was going to a party. Lizzie was going to a concert. Addy and Jax were going int
o town and then back to Addy’s place to watch DVDs. I was spending my last Saturday night with my grandparents but, damn it, I was going to have fun.
‘Come on, troops. Time to go.’ Dad at his most cheerful. He was getting more and more unbearable the closer we got to Banishment Day.
I ambled out to the lounge. Noah was slumped on the sofa. Mum came in wearing a new dress — it was blue and floaty and she would have looked okay but for the stress lines she was busy cultivating on her face. She examined me from top to bottom, frowned a bit at the make-up but held her peace. I was glad I’d thrown the sweatshirt over my ensemble.
We arrived. The party to end all parties was at the Hargreaves grands’ house. They had a superb view over the harbour which was about all the place had going for it — there was no clutter, no books, only sterile walls with very disciplined pictures on them but none by Mum, although I knew for a fact she’d done one specially for them.
Cara was there with her camera.
I went into the bathroom, took off the sweatshirt, checked make-up and hair, then made my entrance.
Mum rolled her eyes. Dad didn’t notice. Noah was back on the couch but I was prepared to bet he wouldn’t stay there long because it was a slippery, unfriendly couch.
Gran Aveson hugged me and her eyes twinkled. ‘Great outfit, Minna.’
Gran H kissed the air near my cheek. She pulled back and whispered, ‘For heaven’s sake, Minna — cover yourself up and take off that make-up. That television woman is here. What’ll she think of you?’
I smiled graciously. ‘Lovely to see you too, Gran.’
The grandfathers both smiled at me and I don’t think they noticed the make-up or the bare flesh. I decided to be helpful. ‘Can I hand around the nibbles, Gran?’ I asked Gran H with a sweet smile.
Her face was in the process of turning to stone, but Dad had heard. ‘Great idea, Min. Here — take these.’
I took the plate of smoked mussels. I went around the room making sure I bent over enough so that Gran H got a full view of my diamante flower.
Gran H, though, was no slouch in the revenge department. She cornered Cara and spoke to her and the camera in a voice of considerable volume and excellent clarity. ‘This is a ridiculous escapade to put a child of Minna’s age through.’