by K. M. Liss
“I don't know about this, Aaron. I've been badly used...as well as…raped. You and I might not be a good idea. I'm not the best relationship material.”
“What d'you mean by used?” I'm really thankful the conversation has moved away from me.
“Being taken for a ride. The last one put me off dating forever.”
“Wanna tell me about that particular one?” I push. I really need to know more about this.
She sighs deeply and stares at the floor and then back up to me.
“You want the whole story?”
“The whole thing, if you want to tell me.”
“I met Ryan in a bar. He was a friend of an old school friend from Vegas. We clicked and got together after a couple of casual dates. A month later it was getting kinda serious in my mind, and he asks me if I could get some cash for him. Borrow it from my heiress' account. The one I manage, you know. He said he had a lot of debt and was being threatened by some heavy guys. It was a lot of cash though. A hundred grand.”
“You didn't do it, did you? That would be stealing.”
“No, of course not.”
“So what happened then...?”
“He acted strangely with me after I turned him down, way OTT sweet and nice. And he kept on pushing me about the money, trying every angle he could think of, trying to make me feel guilty about how worried he was. Hoping I'd weaken, I guess? Then out of the blue, he asked me to marry him. Well I'm not stupid. Obviously I was thinking he did it so he could push me even harder about the money. So I said, no, I just wasn't ready for that kind of commitment yet, way too young for it.”
“Why didn't you dump him? He doesn't sound like a great guy to me?”
“I've asked myself this over and over. But basically, apart from the money angle he had going on he was nice to me. I'd had a run of men who weren't so nice. So I thought I'd enjoy it while it lasted.”
“Right, so you turned him down...and then what?”
“Thank God, I found him out soon after that.”
“Found out what?” I probe.
“Exactly what he had going on and how far he was prepared to go to get the money, basically. It was about six in the evening, I went over to his place to surprise him after work...we had each other’s keys by then...and as soon as I let myself in I could hear he wasn't alone. I stood and listened for a while. They were talking, saying things, Ryan and his ex, Laura, who wasn't his ex after all, apparently. It was all about ripping me off. They were laughing about me. The whole thing was just an act, a fucking lie. He didn't care for me at all, he just saw me as a big dollar sign. Him and her, the little bitch.” Tears start to roll down her cheeks.
I stand up, holding my arms out to her. “Baby, come here.”
She gets up and walks over to me, into my tight hug. Her body convulses with little sobs and I rub her back gently.
“I was so angry and hurt that he was using me like that. I just couldn't believe it at first. I was in shock. Then I recovered enough to barge in the bedroom catching them out. And there they were, in bed together. Well it gave me a good excuse to dump him, there and then. And straight after some strong language on my part, I left. He followed me home and, well, you can guess the rest. It was like the story you read.” She sniffles.
“No I don't want to guess anything. Tell me, all of it. Don't leave anything out.”
“I'm not sure I want to say any more, I don't like talking about it. Or thinking about it, either.”
“Please Kate, I'm a good listener and I think you really do need to talk about it.”
She looks down at the floor for a moment, frowning and chewing her lip and then obviously decides to open up some more.
“Well...as I said, he followed me back home, let himself in, and came up behind me in the bedroom. He tried to explain it all away but I told him I'd heard the whole conversation. I knew he was only after the money and he could just fuck off and forget it. I told him to leave my key and get the hell out of my life. After that, he lost it. Went completely berserk, pushing me around, slapping me, calling me very unpleasant names.” She pauses and looks at me, with a trembling lip.
I know the hardest part to remember is coming up, and she was sketchy with details in her story. I need to know exactly what he did.
“You're doing really well, Kate. Keep going, honey. What happened after that?” I encourage her.
She gulps loudly and continues. “He dragged me to my bed by my hair...stripped my jeans and shoes off, and tied my wrists together with the belt of my robe.”
Jesus, I'm getting the whole hand tying thing I did now...
“...and then he punched me in the stomach until I stopped struggling against him. After that...oh my God, Aaron, I really don't think I can tell you what he did.” She looks at me with tear-reddened, haunted eyes.
I've got to know. I push her…a little bit harder.
“Yes you can, just say it, whatever it is, it won't matter. I promise you. Let it out, Kate. Say it.”
She's struggling to get the words to come out. I don't know where her mind is right now, but mine's not in a good place at all. My fists clench and I mentally punch this Ryan bastard in the face...and kick him hard in the balls.
“Well...he raped me. Repeatedly...and not with his penis,” she whispers in a strangled voice.
“What?” My stomach is churning for her. She can't even look at me. I lift her chin up.
He forced his hands in me so many times he made me bleed, and then left me too shocked to even cry. I'll never forget it as long as I live.” Her voice tapers off to a tiny whimper as she buries her head against my chest.
I stroke her hair as I grit my teeth in rage.
Jesus, what a complete bastard...
“Why the hell did he have to do that?”
“I don't know,” she sobs wildly against my chest.
I'm so upset my eyes are blurring and I'm suddenly seeing a blaze of red as it all sinks in. I'm completely fucking furious.
Who the hell is this fucker? Lying to her, trying to rip her off, fucking her over, and then raping her like that…? I can’t even think of what he did to her. Fucking hell. All because she found him out? SHIT – I want to kill him! How could he do all that to this beautiful girl?
I'm totally with her, all the way on this.
But she doesn't need to see my rage. I don't think that'll be helpful. I need to keep calm. I swallow it fast and kiss her forehead.
“Maybe you need to see someone. Have some therapy?”
“No, I can't. I don't want to talk about it. You can understand why, surely? Would you want to tell anyone? You're the only person I've ever told actually.”
“Really?”
This is another big shocker. She's only told me?
“I didn't report it. Domestic rape is the most difficult to prove. I didn't want to put myself through it all. I don't like to even think about it, obviously.”
“And you didn't tell your friends or even your mom?”
“No, I didn't want any more pressure on me, or any pity. If I could blot it out of my life, then I'd survive it. That was my way of thinking. But since then it's been a trial of endurance, I'm not sure I did the right thing keeping it all bottled up inside.”
“Baby, I don't know what to say? I'm surprised you trust me this much.”
“Aaron, you read Ruined. My story. You knew already.”
“You could easily have lied about that, said you made it up.”
“Could I? D'you really think so?”
“Kate, honey. Come here.”
I sit down and pull her on my lap facing me.
I kiss her softly and her eyes are still brimming with emotion.
I so want to help her. But what the hell does she need?
I am male and have absolutely no idea what being raped would feel like for a woman. What it would be like to be overpowered by another person’s strength in that way. However, I can see my girl here has suffered horrendously at the hands of th
at bastard. If it had been my sister Paula being raped, I would want someone to treat her with respect and for someone to…empower her. To give her back a desire for sex, which I have seen is in Kate, but to allow her the control of the situation. Is that what Kate needs? I want her to feel beautiful again. Precious.
I'm guessing she needs something non-threatening and comforting. Definitely non-sexual. Hugs and kisses maybe.
The fact I'm more than desperate to get her in bed is not going to help the situation. I need to rise above my needs somehow. Not easy for someone like me. I'm in uncharted territory here.
I'll go for the hugs and kisses, I kinda like that anyway. I take her chin in my hand and give her a little kiss.
“Look, I know that was a really terrible experience for you, and I have no idea what you must feel about you. But, I am sensing that you don't want to let it affect your future anymore. Do you? So let's work on that together, shall we? I want to give you the old Kate back. Take it nice and slow. You're completely in control with me.. Do whatever you like...anything you want...hug me...kiss me. I'm all yours. Hands off. I won't touch you. Not once. You can trust me, okay?” I hope I've said the right thing.
I lower my arms and put my hands on the sofa at my sides.
I wait silently. I'm not sure she's ready to touch a man at all after sharing that horror story.
But I'm kinda surprised how it all goes down after that.
She's a little hesitant at first, so I start her off with another tiny kiss on her nose and then I sit still and let her play with me.
She nips my lip and rubs my nose with hers and then she warms up.
Really. Fast.
She's kissing me passionately, tugging my ears and hair, and rubbing her hands all over my head with surprising frenzy. My breathing is going into crazy mode and my mind is going with it.
I hope to God I'm doing the right thing. I've no idea if I am. Rape therapy isn't a skill I possess. I'm going with my instincts, flying by the seat of my pants.
With some difficulty, I force my hands to behave as she yanks off my T-shirt and rakes her nails all over me, kissing my bared chest and shoulders and sucking my neck.
Her hot tongue swirls all around my ear and her hands slip down the back of my jeans, squeezing my ass.
I'm almost unconscious with desire as she licks inside my ear. The sensation defies description. I've never come through having my ear sucked off before but it's gonna happen if this carries on much longer. The licking sounds intermingled with her gasps and moans of delight are hitting my target dead center. How the hell I'm controlling myself, I really don't know. I must have a hidden inner strength I know nothing about.
I'm pretty sure she's the most wonderful thing I've ever had sitting on my lap.
I'm harder than rock, never been as hard as this...and much as I don't want to, I really need to call a halt.
This is too fucking hard, period.
“Baby, you'd better quit now. I've got my limits and you're hitting 'em,” I grind out with a groan.
Wordlessly, she slides off me and pushes me down purposefully, flat on my back, and unbuttons my jeans.
I stop her hand as she tugs at the zipper.
She looks at me, her chest heaving as she breathes heavily, her mouth partly open, licking her lips. Her eyes are glazed with desire and her cheeks are flushed. She looks so damn sexy at this moment I want to kiss her all over, eat her, and screw her senseless and beyond. I keep those thoughts to myself.
“I'm getting way too excited here. Just warning you, okay.”
“I'll bear that in mind,” she whispers, very breathily.
But my subtle warning doesn't stop her, thank God.
I'm having one of those wonderful moments in life when you finally get something you want so badly. And how I want her. Whatever she has planned is going to be perfect for starters.
I'm fast discovering Kate has no problem whatsoever when it comes to getting her hands on me, and her mouth is pretty damn hot as well. I'm heating up like a flaming torch and dying with anticipation of what might be about to come as her tongue travels down my stomach. I hold my breath as she pulls down my boxers and I'm instantly inside her mouth.
“Whoa, that is crazy, fucking hot,” I moan.
I gasp with reaction and wallow in the explosion of sensations rocketing around me. Her stud's rubbing all over my dick, driving me mad with the feel of it, her hands are around me and she's well into some of the sweetest sucking strokes I've ever had.
Jesus fucking Christ...
I feel I ought to make some kind of objection here, God knows why, because I love every second of it. It's the hottest head I've ever had in my life.
“You don't...have to...do this...” I groan, praying to everything holy that she carries on, because if she stops what she's doing, I'm gonna die of frustration.
She pauses and turns her head for a moment, her eyes on mine, her tongue poised in action, and my heart stops beating in desperation. I'm so turned on my eyes have blurred. I try and focus on her somehow. “Oh, yes I do...You want it and I so wanna do it,” she says, and then her mouth returns to sucking me. I close my eyes and my heart starts beating again.
Thank. You. God.
How the hell we've gone from a sweet, hot hug and kiss, to full-scale oral sex in less than five minutes is beyond me. I really wasn't expecting this at all, but I'm so goddamn happy I could cry. I don't know if this is helping her much, but it's certainly helping me. A Hot. Fucking. Lot.
She knows exactly what she's doing and my male mind luxuriates in the experience of not having to lift a finger.
The pumping hands, the sucking action of her tongue; she's got it all dead right. Surging pleasure starts to rise inside me and way too quickly, I'm there, so high, riding the tidal wave as it grows and crashes through me.
I tug at her hair roughly, giving her the warning; do what you want to at this point. She removes her mouth from me and lifts her head just a second before I come all over my stomach, surging over and over in a flood.
“Kate, baby. Omigod. Fucking hell!” I groan in the heights of ecstasy. Real fireworks have just exploded in my brain. That was cosmic. Above and beyond this earth.
I open my eyes lazily and watch entranced, unable to move or think a coherent thought as she rubs her finger around and around in the pool of cum and slowly licks her fingertip.
Fuck me sideways if she isn't the hottest woman on the planet right now.
But she ain't done with me. Oh no... I don't get a bunch of tissues thrust in my hand. I get the best in after-the-act care. She picks up my T-shirt and wipes me up, very thoroughly. My soft and happy dick is covered in kisses, up and down, and all around, and I receive a beautiful lick on the currently very sensitive end. And all through this she's smiling to herself. I'm gob smacked, lying there like a lord, as she pulls up my underwear, sorting me out, getting me all comfy again. God, I love female attention like this.
She's fucking awesome. Beyond awesome. And she's got the job. Permanently.
The whole mind-blowing experience couldn't have been sweeter, or any hotter than that.
I don't think it'll be long before I'm up for it again. Especially now that my brain's replaying it on loop.
Her lips trail slowly up to my mouth, kissing and licking, just about every little bit of me she can get to and then she lies down on top of me, taking my face in her hands.
“Aaron, you are so damn gorgeous, every part of you,” she says, staring into my sex-soaked head.
Well that's it...I really am blown away. Not that there's much left to be blown.
I'm sure two pink hearts have just appeared in my eyes.
I kiss her for a wonderful forever. There's not a single spot on her head I haven't touched or kissed when I'm done with my big thank you.
“I think you're moving too fast for me,” I laugh. “I only wanted a hug and a kiss, and now you've blown my mind. Among other things.”
She smiles one of her bl
inding dazzlers.
“Such a joker, aren't you?”
“I'd have preferred witty and amusing.”
“Do you joke to cover up your feelings?”
She's hit the nail there.
“I guess I do,” I confess.
“Just tell me that I made you feel good. That's all I wanted to hear.”
I summon up my feelings. It's time to let a few out. I hold her face and kiss her cute nose.
“Kate, sweetheart. I loved every single second of that and I wish I could do the same for you. I'm dying for us to get together. And by that I mean really dying. I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you, and that's the truth.”
“Oh...,” she says, staring at me. She seems overwhelmed by the flood of feelings I've unleashed on her. The pink and flushed face is so cute. “Aaron, please...no rushing, remember?”
“Whatever you say, baby. Anyway, I'll get to sleep with you tonight, won't I? Even if I'm only sleeping, I'm looking forward to that.”
HER
My mind hasn't stopped reeling for the last four hours.
I was driven by a mad, basic instinct to get down there and sample things at close quarters. And what a beautiful thing it was. Now it's all I can think about.
The look on his face and the heat coming off him. My God, I've never enjoyed being in control of a man so much as that. Oh lord, what on earth have I set in motion here?
My senses are running riot and my mouth is watering. I'm dying to do it again and again. Which is odd, because I was never that into giving head before. But he's just so perfect. Especially that part. I want him in my mouth, permanently. Maybe it's my substitute vagina at the moment. That's probably why I'm so fixated. Fixated and lusting after his dick and obsessed with the rest of him. Completely and utterly sucked in.
Oh fricking hell...
I'll take this real slow and keep things as casual as I can.
It ain't gonna be easy.
I watch him across the room as his fingers fly across the keyboard.
I've never seen a man type so fast.
And properly, using all his fingers.
Such lovely long, yummy sexy fingers.
I want to suck them as well.