by Robyn Fraser
But these thoughts were quickly tossed aside when, a second later, the boy leaned in and stared hard at her. The others in the group did too. She (or maybe they?) suddenly felt very claustrophobic. There was no way that Deanna and wingless Rose (or even winged Rose, for that matter) could take on all eight of them. As bedraggled as their appearances were, the V.E.G.A.N.S. all seemed very fit. She and Rose would never be able to outrun them. Especially Rose, who was still cocooned on the ground, unable to get out of Deanna’s sweatshirt. Trying to ignore the stares, Deanna reached over and unwrapped her friend.
“Thanks, D.” Rose stood up and shook herself.
“My dog!” exclaimed the boy after staring long and hard at Deanna. “It is you! Deandra, right?”
“Well, technically it’s Deanna, but either’s fine, really.” She thought that being as agreeable as possible right now might be the best defense.
“But who is this?” The girl pointed at Rose. “She doesn’t seem like one of Sactual’s slaughter chickens, but she’s got no feathers or wings.” She glared at Deanna. “Did you do this to her?”
Deanna held up her hands. “Me? No. No, I didn’t do…no, it was…umm…” Deanna had no idea how to explain Rose’s situation. She didn’t totally understand it herself.
“Deanna had nothing to do with this,” said Rose, glancing down at her naked body and wing stubs. She stepped toward the boy leader. “But first things first. I’ve heard rumors of the V.E.G.A.N.S. back in Magitoria.”
“You’re Magitorian?” exclaimed the girl. There were several oohs and aahs amongst the group.
Rose nodded. “Yes, and not only that, but I was right hand to Queen Juliana.” She thrust her naked chest out with pride. “In fact, I’m on a mission right now that the Queen assigned to me before her self-banishment.” She pointed to Deanna. “This is Queen Juliana’s child and the key to preventing war between Magitoria and Concreta.”
“Rose!” Deanna gasped. Why was she telling them all this?
Rose glanced back at Deanna. “It’s okay, D. Like this person said, V.E.G.A.N.S. are the Very Emphatic Group Against Nincompoop Sactual. They’re Concretians who realize how terrible Mr. Sactual is to the land and the people here and are trying to sabotage his war efforts. Also, they don’t eat chickens. Or any other people, for that matter.” Rose turned back to the boy and girl leaders. “Am I right?”
They both nodded their heads, mouths still agape. “Yes, right on all counts,” said the boy.
The girl stepped forward again and held out her hand to Deanna. Deanna shook it. “My name’s Robin,” she said. She gestured to the boy, who had stepped up beside her. “This is Marion.”
Robin held out her hand to Rose, then realized her mistake. “Oh, sorry,” she said, dropping it.
“No problem,” said Rose. “They’ll grow back once I’m out of Concreta. And to answer your question, the lack of feathers and wings was all part of my plan to find Princey Deanna and bring her here.” She cocked her head at Deanna. “Sorry, D. Is Robin right? Maybe I should be saying ‘them’ instead of ‘her’?”
Deanna gulped. This was all too much to process right now. She attempted a casual shrug. “Sure. I guess. I mean, I guess ‘them’ is good. I mean, whatever.” Deanna’s brain was awhirl with confusion.
Rose nodded, then turned back to the group. “In fact I think it’s more than a coincidence that we’ve run in to you,” she continued, clouding the fact that the V.E.G.A.N.S. had found them while they were sleeping. “Would you be wiling to help us?”
Robin and Marion glanced at each other. Then Marion said, “If we can. We do have a big action coming up, which we really can’t discuss right now, but we might be able to lend a hand or two.” He gestured to the others in the group, who were all watching and listening intently.
“Thank you,” said Rose. “We need to get out of Concreta as quickly as possible. Our plan was to walk through the Dehydrated Desert and then cross the Riddled Ridge to enter the Fantabulous Forest and finally make it to the Magitorian capitol. But this is going to take several days on foot. And,” Rose paused and glanced briefly at Deanna before returning her attention to the V.E.G.A.N.S., “we’re running out of time. It took me longer than I’d anticipated to find Princey Deanna and bring her…sorry, D, I mean, them here. We only have five days left to—”
“What?” cried Deanna. “Five days? I thought we had almost eight weeks.” They flailed their hands (That’s as in, Deanna flailed Deanna’s hands. I think, dear reader, it’s time we respected Deanna’s gender non-conformity now that our hero is embracing it, and use they/them/their, rather than she/her. It may be confusing at first, but trust me, you’ll get the hang of it). “Or seven weeks and seven days, whatever.” Their (Deanna’s) heart was racing.
“Yes…well, I didn’t want to worry you, D,” said Rose, not quite looking Deanna in the eye. “But the whole slaughter/butcher/freezer/thaw thing back in Mundaland took quite a bit longer than I’d anticipated.” She smiled meekly. “Sorry about that.”
Rose glanced back at the V.E.G.A.N.S. leaders. “So I’m wondering if there’s any way you can help us to get there faster.”
Marion chewed his lower lip. “Wait here a minute while Robin and I and the rest of the V.E.G.A.N.S. go discuss it privately, alright?”
“No problem,” said Rose.
The group gathered together about fifty feet away and huddled like a football team. It was several minutes before they broke up. Now that the sun was permeating the forest, Deanna realized that the weapons they were carrying were actually gardening tools: Marion was holding a shovel, Robin a hoe, others had picks, rakes, shears and more. With the exception of the leaders, the other six continued northeast through the forest.
“Okay,” said Robin, leaning on her hoe, “here’s what we’ll do. The V.E.G.A.N.S. have a couple of vehicles, which we use exclusively for anti-Sactual activities. We agree that helping Princey Deanna get to Magitoria falls into this category. So Marion and I are going to drive you as far as the Riddled Ridge.” She gestured in the direction the others had taken. “Johrn is retrieving one of the vehicles now. They’ll be back within the half-hour.”
Another ‘they’! Deanna stared at the retreating figures in the distance and wondered which one was Johrn.
Robin glanced at Rose. “As you would know, no regular vehicles can pass the mountains, even on the south end, so you’ll have to continue through them on foot. But as long as we don’t get stopped by the Concreta Control Corps, we should be able to save you more than three days of walking.”
“Thank you so much,” said Rose.
“Yes, thank you,” agreed Deanna. This was good news indeed. “But I’m just wondering what you mean by getting stopped by the Concreta Control Corps or whatever. I mean, how likely is that?”
“Unfortunately, it’s very likely,” said Marion, rubbing the tiny patch of sparse hair under his lower lip. It made Deanna pine for their disguise. “The Corps are all over the place. They’re preparing to invade Magitoria as soon as your mother’s spell stops working.”
He pointed at Deanna. “And they are clearly really, really eager to find you. I mean, a hundred thousand gold? That’s a fortune. They’ve got road blocks set up all over the place, but especially on the way to the mountains.”
“Which is why,” continued Robin, pulling something from her pocket, “you need to die.” The girl leader took a step toward Deanna.
Deanna jumped up. “Wait, what? I thought you were going to help us.” They glanced wildly at Rose who, they were startled to see, seemed not in the least bit disconcerted. In fact, she was cackling.
“Sorry I’m laughing, D, but she clearly said dye, not die.” Rose turned to Robin, still grinning widely. “Deanna does have a rather brilliant mustache disguise that was given by a friend. But you’re right, dyeing would be even better.”
“Wha…what are you guys talking about?” Though less anxious now, Deanna was still utterly confused.
Rob
in held up the thing in her hand so Deanna could see it. It was a clear bottle containing some sort of dark liquid. The label read ‘Really Really Red’. “It’s hair dye,” said Robin. “While we’re waiting for Johrn to return, we’re going to turn you into a redhead.”
Chapter Eighteen
Where Dyed Deanna Drives to the Dehydrated Desert
Deanna looked into the pocket mirror that Robin held out for them. Yep, they were definitely a redhead. Not the carroty kind, but rather the beety shade. It was weird to see themselves like that, but also kind of exciting. “Should I wear the mustache and goatee too?” they asked, trying not to sound too excited at the idea. “Definitely,” said Rose, who was standing in front of them, staring at the dye job with a critical eye. “I’m sure this new ‘do will be enough, but it can’t hurt to add to your disguise.” She glanced up at Robin. “Right?”
“I completely agree,” said Robin, pocketing the mirror.
Marion, who was standing a few dozen feet away, shovel in hand, eyes to the east called out. “Johrn’s back.”
Deanna turned from their seat on the ground and saw one of the younger-looking V.E.G.A.N.S., maybe not much older than them, hiking though the forest alone. Johrn gave two thumbs up.
“They’ve got the vehicle,” said Marion. “Let’s go.”
Robin picked up her hoe. “We don’t want any of the Concreta Corps to drive by and see an empty vehicle—it’ll look suspicious. You can put your mustache on in the car.”
Deanna hefted their Mundaland pack onto their back. Robin took the second one containing the bread and water.
The foursome trudged quickly through the forest, catching up to Johrn, who had started back toward the road. A few minutes later they were at it, a grey SUV-type car parked along the side.
“Your outfits are in here.” Johrn handed Robin and Marion a bag. “And I found a small size for the princey.” Was Johrn blushing as they handed Deanna the bag? They couldn’t be sure. But Deanna felt their own face flush as though in reply.
“Perfect,” said Marion. He pointed at the bag. “It’s a Northeast Concreta Control Corps uniform,” he added. “It’s going to help us get to the mountains undetected.”
Deanna hopped into the back of the car and changed as quickly as they could while the V.E.G.A.N.S. leaders slipped behind some nearby trees. By the time they were done, Marion and Robin had returned wearing the same grey-black pants and shirts with the Corps logo on the front that Deanna now was.
“Who’s driving?” asked Johrn.
“I will,” said Robin. Johrn passed her the key. “You’re in charge until we get back. Keep working on the plans for our next action.”
Johrn nodded and grabbed the hoe and shovel they passed to them. “See you soon.” They half-glanced at Deanna and their face turned red again. Deanna was sure they weren’t imagining it this time. “Nice to meet you, Princey. And you too, Rose. Good luck.” Then they quickly crossed the road and disappeared into the eastern part of the forest.
“Well, someone’s got a crush,” whispered Robin to Marion, nudging him with her elbow and smiling.
“I’d have to completely agree,” he whispered back.
Deanna heard it all. Their face flushed once again.
Rose joined Deanna in the back and Marion took the front passenger seat. Robin got behind the wheel and they began driving north. The car looked not at all unlike the ones Deanna was used to, though maybe somewhat older. They noticed that there were cranks to roll down the windows and the dashboard didn’t have any of the fancy digital displays that their parents’ cars both had. No movie screen, either.
After quickly slicing some bread for them and Rose to eat, (they offered some to the V.E.G.A.N.S., who declined, saying they refused to eat anything bought from a store owned by Mr. Sactual; instead they grew all their own food throughout the Concreta tree-farms) Deanna worked on the rest of their disguise. It was a little harder with Rose unable to help, but Deanna managed to get the mustache and goatee on.
“Perfect,” said Rose after Deanna had fiddled with the position for a minute or two. “Just like that. Wipe off that bit of glue showing under the mustache on the right. Yes, that’s it.” She beamed. “Wow, if I didn’t already know it was you, D, I’d never recognize you.”
“Just in time, guys,” said Robin. “Looks like there’s a roadblock up ahead. Rose, can you tuck yourself under my seat? And on the chance they inspect the car, can you pretend you’re dead?” She glanced back at Rose, grimacing. “Really sorry about that, but I think you know about chickens in Concreta, right?”
“I certainly do,” replied Rose. “No problem.” With that, she slid under the driver’s seat.
“Okay, Deanna,” said Marion, “let Robin and me do all the talking. But if they ask you anything directly, just say that you’re a new Control Corps recruit and you’re in training with us. Oh, and if they ask for ID,” he pulled two cards from one of the bags Johrn had given him—there was a head shot of him on one and Robin on the other— “tell them you’re getting it when you arrive at your deployment. Got it?”
“And tell them your name is Scarlett,” added Robin. “Dean Scarlett. It suits your hair.”
“Dean Scarlett,” mumbled Deanna. Butterflies weren’t so much fluttering around inside them as they were banging away at their stomach wall, desperate to escape. Kind of like how they felt at that very moment. They did like being called ‘Dean’, though…
Robin pulled up beside a black car with Northwest Concreta Control Corps written on its side. A lone officer came over to the driver’s side as Robin wound down the window.
“What’s the purpose of your travels?” he asked. He was tall and stocky and didn’t smile.
“Deployment at the eastern Dehydrated Desert, sir,” said Robin. “I’m officer Toque, this is officer Biddy and in back,” she pointed to Deanna, “is new recruit Scarlett.”
“Our ID,” said Marion, holding it out to the officer.
He waved it away. “Keep up the good work, officers.” He nodded to Deanna. “And welcome, Scarlett.”
Deanna nodded back, too afraid to speak.
The officer waved them on and Robin pulled back onto the road.
“That went well,” said Marion. “Rose, you can come out now.”
The stress of being trapped in a car at the mercy of the roadblock officers made Deanna almost wish that they and Rose had just decided to walk the route. It would have taken longer, but at least they’d have been able to keep far away from the road.
To stem their nerves, Deanna pulled out their sketchbook and a pencil. Drawing always calmed them. They were halfway through creating an image of a fierce-looking creature on two clawed feet, with sharp fangs and rabbit ears when Marion turned in his seat and saw them.
“You’re drawing,” he said.
“Yep,” replied Deanna, not looking up. They were in the middle of adding a necklace of teeth around the creature’s neck.
“You’re going to have to hide that at the next stop,” Marion continued. “Mr. Sactual banned the arts not long after he came into power. No theatre, no fiction novels, no fantastical drawings like that one. Only ‘how-to’ manuals and paintings that are exact replicas of something, like a landscape for example, are allowed. Even then, you can still get in trouble for owning one.”
“That’s awful,” said Deanna. “Why is Mr. Sactual so horrible?”
“He wants full control of his realm and everyone in it,” said Robin. “Removing imagination and magic—much the same thing, really—makes it easier for him to achieve this.”
***
They passed three more stops over the next two hours. Each time, Deanna tucked their sketchbook under the seat with Rose, but they managed to pass through with no issues, much like the first time.
“We’re almost at the desert,” said Robin a little while after their fourth successful stop. “I’m sure there will be one more roadblock at the eastern edge of it, then that should be it until
the far west end of the desert—clear driving almost up to the Riddled Ridge. Well, except for the Tiramisu Trolls, of course, but they tend to keep to themselves, especially since Sactual came to power. We should be fine.” She turned and smiled at her passengers. “This has gone even better than I’d expected.”
Deanna decided not to ask about the Tiramisu Trolls. Robin seemed to feel they weren’t an issue and, well, sometimes ignorance is bliss and all that.
It was another twenty minutes before they saw the final roadblock. This time there were four Control cars—two on each side of the road. Four officers got out of their cars almost in unison when they saw the SUV coming.
The landscape had been bland for most of the trip. There had been the occasional clusters of factories, a couple of small towns and a few tree farms. Infrequently, they’d passed another vehicle going the opposite way. Slightly Silly Sea had almost always been visible to their distant left except for the odd time when the land grew hillier, or when they drove through a valley, or a tree farm blocked its view—but most of the drive was flat and boring.
But now, just past the Control cars, the environment changed abruptly: Large hills and flats of sand stood ominously before them as far as the eye could see to the north, as far as the lake to the south, and as far as some distant, ominous-looking mountains to the west. A single paved road ran through, weaving around the hills.
“Welcome to the Dehydrated Desert,” said Marion. “Even though it’s technically in Concreta, Sactual’s people tend to stay out of it if they can. The Tiramisu Trolls, who live in the desert, never warmed to the leader’s new ways, and like Robin said, while they generally keep to themselves, you wouldn’t want to tick one off.” He pointed at the Concreta Control Corps cars that they were quickly nearing. “That’s why these guys are staying on the edge of the desert and why we won’t see another roadblock until the far end. They won’t admit it, but they’re scared.”