Lord Emberson took his time gathering his thoughts. So long, in fact, that Alexandra thought the conversation was finished between them. Finally, he said, “I married young, and because of the betrothal agreement your father and I arranged, Samuel will marry young as well.”
“And do you think either of those situations is ideal?”
“I hope, for Samuel's sake and your own, it will be, though only time will tell.”
She hated the way he talked about her impending marriage so casually. She was still in denial about having to marry a man she hardly knew and definitely didn't love.
“And what of your own experience marrying young? Did it prove ideal?”
Alexandra watched as his face turned into a rigid mask of indifference. “I don't know how to answer that.”
“How about honestly?” she prodded.
He inhaled and exhaled loudly. “I didn't precisely choose to marry so young.”
She slid forward on the bench, staring at him intently. Leaning closely she asked, “Was your marriage arranged by your parents as well? Is that why you felt the need to arrange Samuel's?”
“No, my parents died before I wed. I married Juliet because...”
Alexandra cut him off. “Because you were Romeo and had found your Juliet. You loved her so deeply you couldn't imagine waiting to marry her. Is that right?”
Lord Emberson began choking. “Hardly. I regret to inform you that love was not part of the equation, at least not for long.”
Alexandra slumped back against the bench, oddly relieved to hear his admission. “Well if you didn't marry for love, why did you marry?”
“I didn't realize we were going to spend the entirety of the ride dissecting my motives for marriage.”
“What else would we talk about?” she asked him as if discussing the matter at hand was the most logical topic of conversation.
“You.” he stated simply.
She brushed away his suggestion with her hand. “That topic is too dull. Come now, tell me what I'm so anxious to know.”
Lord Emberson stiffened in his seat and furrowed his thick, dark brows together. “I don't wish to offend your delicate sensibilities.”
“Tell me,” she commanded, hating how he was drawing it out. “I swear my sensibilities will not be offended.”
“As you wish. I married Juliet for one reason alone...because she was already with child.”
Alexandra's lips formed an 'o'. She hadn't expected that to be his answer. Grasping for something to say, she finally decided to try and find something positive about the situation. “At least you did the honorable thing. That says much about your character.”
“Ha!” he scoffed. “The honorable thing would have been to wait to lie with her until we were wed.”
“But,” she pointed out, “you would never have wed her then. You just confessed there was only one reason you married her.”
Lord Emberson rolled his eyes at her. “Why are we having this conversation anyway?”
Alexandra smiled at his distress. “Because you needed to get that off of your chest.”
“No,” he protested, “I did not.”
“Have you ever revealed that secret to anyone before?”
He sucked his teeth and glanced up at the ceiling of the carriage as he thought. “Now that you mention it, I don't believe I have.”
Alexandra felt honored to be the only person who knew his little secret. It forged a bond between them that was more than just a physical one.
He leveled his eyes at her and said in all seriousness, “I command you to never reveal that information to Samuel, or anyone else for that matter.”
“Very well,” she said, folding her hands in her lap. “I vow to never divulge your secret to Samuel if you promise never to reveal mine.”
“Your secret?” he questioned. “Whatever would that be?”
She smiled coyly, wondering if she had enough courage to say what was in her heart. The carriage ride had started out tense, but with the sharing of his secret, a new intimacy had developed between them, and she nearly forgot that she hated him. She searched his gray eyes, wondering how he'd respond to her secret. The air between them was charged with anticipation, heightening her desire to confess.
Finally, Alexandra spoke. “That I find his father overwhelmingly attractive.”
He shut his eyes as if by doing so he could block out her words. “Alexandra, you can't say things like that.”
“Don't worry, Lord Emberson,” she replied sadly, “I will never utter those words again.”
“What words?”
Alexandra jumped at Jenny's question. She hadn't noticed that the snoring had stopped or that Jenny had awoken.
“What words?” Jenny repeated, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
“Nothing,” Alexandra and Lord Emberson said in unison, then both proceeded to stare out their respective windows for the remainder of the trip, not engaging in conversation again.
It proved to be the longest carriage ride of Alexandra's life.
“Alexandra, I'm so glad you've come.”
Alexandra laughed. “Yes, Lydia, I believe you've expressed that sentiment before, at least a dozen times.”
Lydia flung herself down in one of the two wing-backed chairs that flanked the fireplace in her bedchamber. They'd already taken tea in the drawing room with Lord Emberson and Lydia's parents, Lord and Lady Phelps, and were finally granted the privacy both girls so desperately wanted.
Peeling her gloves from her hands, Alexandra threw them on Lydia's dressing table then looked at her friend with a sly smile. Lydia's lips turned down into a frown, and both girls spoke at once, “I have so much to tell you.”
Alexandra laughed. “You go first,” she insisted as she went and occupied the other chair.
“Oh, I can't even tell you how miserable things have been since you were sent away. Father has more or less banished me to the house, keeping me here as if I'm some prisoner in my own home,” she wailed. “Can you imagine?”
“But why?”
“Because of your idiot of a brother, that's why.”
Alexandra's face twisted into an irritated scowl. “I wish Levi would leave things well enough alone. We dressed up in breeches once. It's not like we did something truly scandalous.”
“My father is convinced we did. I'm uncertain exactly what Levi told him, but he constantly looks at me with disappointment in his eyes. I detest it. The next time I see your brother, I'm going to slap him...again.”
“Again?” Alexandra blurted, leaning forward in her chair. “When was the first time?”
Lydia's cheeks reddened. “When you rode off on Gertrude. He was being insolent.”
“I regret that I left, for I would have loved to see that. I bet it infuriated him.”
“You have no idea,” Lydia muttered as she rolled her eyes. “Enough of my whining, tell me how you've been fairing since your banishment.”
“Things at Tisdale Manor have been...how shall I say it? Interesting.”
“It sounds as if there is a story. Please tell me you've been behaving yourself around Lord Emberson.”
Alexandra stiffened. “Why would you say that?” Suddenly she felt as if she were transparent as if Lydia could tell just by looking at her that she'd kissed Lord Emberson, that she harbored a forbidden attraction for him.
“Because you haven't exactly been the model of good behavior this past year.”
“I've behaved,” she answered defensively then had to add sheepishly, “mostly.”
Lydia squealed excitedly, clasping both hands together beneath her chin. “I knew it! The moment I first laid eyes on Lord Emberson, I knew it!”
“Knew what?”
Lydia gave Alexandra a look that said she wasn't amused by her feigning ignorance. They'd been friends their entire lives; there wasn't much they could hide from one another.
“That you'd fall for him.”
Alexandra's throat felt tight, and she began coug
hing into her hand. “Pardon me? I cannot have heard you correctly.”
Lydia smiled wickedly at her. “Oh, but you did. Lord Emberson is quite pleasing to the eye, wouldn't you agree?”
Throwing her head into her hands, Alexandra mumbled, “Oh, what a coil I'm in.”
“A coil indeed. You're attracted to your future father-in-law. I find this wildly amusing.”
Alexandra hated the pleased look Lydia was wearing. “Truly, I did not expect for it to happen. I expected him to be old, like your father or mine, and I anticipated him to be as dull as pudding.”
“He's neither old nor dull. Does he return your interest?”
Alexandra flipped open her reticule and began rummaging around to find her fan. Once she located it, she opened it with the flick of her wrist and began wafting air back and forth across her face to cool herself. She was suddenly feeling very hot.
“He says nothing more can happen between us.”
She'd hoped that would placate Lydia, but she should've known better. Lydia was quick-witted, picking up on everything Alexandra wasn't saying.
“What do you mean, nothing more? You're implying that something did happen between you two?”
She nibbled on her lower lip before confessing, “We kissed...more than once.”
Lydia's eyes widened in surprise. “No!” she exclaimed.
“Yes.”
“I bet it was grand.”
Alexandra laughed. “Grand is not precisely the word I'd use to describe it. Oh, Lydia, it was magical. I never imagined a kiss could be so...sensual.”
Lydia's cheeks bloomed with color, and she reached up to clasp them in her hands. “Do you love him?”
“No,” she exclaimed, looking at her friend as if she'd sprouted a second head. “And he does not love me. It was an accident, something that meant nothing to him and something that will never occur again.”
“But you want it to,” Lydia added knowingly.
Ignoring her statement, Alexandra asked, “Have you ever kissed a man?”
“You know I have not. But now I must confess that I am most anxious to do so. I don't like knowing you've experienced something I haven't.”
“Well let me give you some advice: don't kiss anyone, it only makes things awkward.”
Lydia had just opened her mouth to respond when Alexandra looked passed her shoulders and saw a folded piece of paper on the floor as if it had just been slid beneath the door.
“What is that?” she asked, pointing across the room.
Lydia turned around to look at where she pointed. “What are you referring to?”
“That folded up piece of parchment on the floor.”
Lydia hurried from her seat to fetch the note. Clasping it in her hands, she looked at it and Alexandra and asked, “Why didn't the servant knock on the door and deliver it in person?”
“I haven't the faintest idea.”
“Perhaps it's a secret letter, from an admirer,” Lydia suggested, her blue eyes sparkling with mirth. “What if it's from Lord Emberson, inviting you to a clandestine meeting.”
Alexandra's heart began racing. Oh, how wicked she was, for she sort of hoped Lydia was correct. “Nonsense,” she hissed, trying to appear unaffected by Lydia's words. “He made it perfectly clear there's nothing between us. Not now, nor will there ever be. Open it and find out what it's about.”
Lydia returned to her chair and broke the seal and began to read, her face changing from curiosity to confusion as she continued. Alexandra watched her, curious as to what the contents of the letter were.
When she was done reading, Lydia scrunched up her nose and asked, “Who delivered this?”
“How should I know? What does it say?”
Lydia handed the missive to Alexandra who read:
Miss Phelps,
Your assistance is needed and requested this day. Please meet me at the edge of the woods at midnight. Your failure to appear will result in dastardly consequences.
Your Humble Servant
P.S. Come alone.
She finished reading the letter and at once exclaimed, “It must be a joke. Who would summon you to the woods without a legitimate excuse? And to be so bold as to wish to remain anonymous? It's unheard of.”
Lydia grabbed the letter from Alexandra's hands and re-read it in its entirety. “There's no one of my association who would address me as their humble servant. Who would have sent this letter?”
“Well, it had to be someone who had access to your house, for they slid it underneath your door just now.”
“Unless they paid a servant to do it,” Lydia pointed out.
“True, but why would this mystery person summon you and why remain anonymous?”
Lydia's eyes glazed over as she thought about the strange note. “It's all very vexing,” she admitted as she nibbled on her bottom lip as she tried to make sense of the strange summons. “But, oddly enough, I find it compelling.”
“What!” Alexandra blurted as she watched Lydia's eyes re-focus and settle upon her. “You can't seriously be considering doing as it says. How absurd!” She was becoming very worried about her friend. Several weeks of being confined to the house with hardly any decent company must be making her go daft. “What if it's a murderer trying to lure you to your death?”
Lydia laughed, a tinkling sound that broke through the tension. “Alexandra, you're being dramatic. If there were a killer after me, they'd be more clever than to deliver a letter to my bedchamber.” Holding up the aforementioned letter, she shook it and said, “This is proof. Any good killer knows you don't leave proof behind.”
“'Tis hardly proof,” Alexandra scoffed. “There is nothing about this that is incriminating,” she spat as she snatched the letter out of Lydia's hands. “There is no name or address, and the seal is a generic one, hardly an identifiable trait.”
Lydia giggled again.
“How can you find this funny?”
“In and of itself it's not funny, what is humorous is watching you get all worked into a dither over it.” Reaching over, Lydia snatched the letter back from Alexandra. “Do you honestly think I would be so foolish to do as it bids?”
“Sometimes I am uncertain,” she confessed, knowing Lydia to be every bit as mischievous as she was.
“I only participate in foolhardy plans when I can do so with you. Since I am instructed to come alone, it would appear my humble servant is going to be disappointed.”
“Very wise.”
Alexandra watched as Lydia folded the paper into a tiny square then flicked it into the fireplace. The day was too warm to warrant a fire in the hearth, but as soon as night fell and the servants came to ready her bedchamber for the night, the strange missive would be engulfed in flames, forever destroyed.
“I must admit I'm still curious as to who the sender is,” Lydia confessed as she glanced away from the fireplace.
Alexandra rose from her seat. “Perhaps we can attempt to solve the mystery.”
“How so?”
“By going and questioning the servants. Someone had to either have delivered it themselves or seen who did. Not much goes on in a manor house that isn't privy to the servants. Come, let us go below stairs and begin questioning them at once. We'll have this mystery solved in no time.”
Lydia rose and linked her arm with Alexandra's. “And perhaps we'll run into Lord Emberson as well.”
“And why would we want to do that?” Alexandra asked dryly, regretting opening her big mouth and saying anything about him to Lydia.
“Because, he cut's a fine figure, that's why. Perhaps you do not wish to see him, but I must confess I wouldn't mind another look.”
An uncommon emotion slithered its way up Alexandra's chest, like the ivy that engulfed the entire side of Tisdale Manor, and wound its way around her heart. Until now she'd never been jealous of Lydia, but never before had Lydia been able to pursue something that was forbidden to Alexandra.
And what if she succeeded?
T
he question settled like a heavy stone in the pit of her stomach. Lydia and Lord Emberson together, blissfully happy and in love. Her stomach turned, and she felt as if she might cast up her accounts. The thought of Lord Emberson kissing any other woman the way he had her made her mad with envy.
Life wasn't fair.
The familiar mantra sprang at once into her mind, turning her previously pleasant mood sour. She'd just have to grow accustomed to the fact, because it seemed as if there was nothing she could do about it.
The lack of control made her feel as if she were drowning in the River Thames. No, she quickly corrected, to drown would mean she was put out of her misery. This was not an end of misery but the beginning of a lifetime of flailing along, unable to save herself while she watched those she knew rowing their boats gently along, able to alter their chosen course at any time with merely the push of an ore.
Life wasn't fair.
A thrill of excitement coursed through Lydia's body as she stalked quietly from her house. She'd stayed up late, talking and laughing with Alexandra as they had done so often during the course of their friendship until it was time for her to depart for her planned meeting. She'd tried hard not to act anxious as midnight drew nearer and was greatly relieved when Alexandra finally nodded off to sleep.
It wasn't that Lydia didn't want Alexandra to come along with her on her adventure that night, but if her earlier reaction to the missive were any indication, her friend would only have tried to stop her from going, so Lydia didn't even bother pushing the matter.
Part of Lydia thought she was incredibly foolish for sneaking out to the woods to answer the mysterious summons, but a much greater part of her was motivated by curiosity. In the hours since receiving the strange missive, curiosity had pecked at her like a vulture ravaging a rotted carcass. Who would have sent that letter and what could they want from her?”
She'd left the house without a lantern, not wanting to be detected as she trespassed through the gardens and ran across the field leading to the edge of the woods. She allowed her pace to slow as she approached the forest and quickly pulled her cloak tightly around her. The moon was full and caused eerie shadows to dance across her pale skin.
The Marquess's Maddening Dilemma Page 6