Another shirt fell. I shook my head, opened the closet door, and walked out.
***
Emily spent the rest of the day hiding in her room. Josh escaped to Turner's house while Emily cleaned the basement. Family bolted when she had meltdowns. Sometimes I envied Jake and his traveling. My escape was a quick run in the park, a workout at the gym, or coffee with Mel. It helped me de-stress, but inevitably the drama was still mine to handle. I knew one day Emily and I would be friends, but from what I'd heard, that wouldn't happen until she was at least thirty, and I wasn't sure we'd both make it that long.
I spent the evening meandering around the house doing a lot of nothing. I sat on the floor in front of the microwave and willed my father to take responsibility, but he didn't. At ten p.m. Gracie came down, nudged me, and then went back upstairs. I took the hint, followed her.
I'd just buried myself under the covers when I felt the temperature in the room change and the hairs on my arms rise. Gracie, snuggled on Jake's pillow, barely raised her head, so I figured it was Ma.
"Boo," she said.
"Eep. You scared me. Not."
"Bubble burster."
"Learned from the master, Ma." I sat up and switched on the light. It seemed strange to talk to her in the dark, even though I couldn't see her.
"I got it," she said.
The edge of my bed dipped. "Did you just sit on my bed?"
"Yah, why?"
"I can see the dip."
"Dip? What dip? Is it big?"
The dip went away. "No, it's not big."
"Then why'd you have to mention it?"
"Because I noticed it and I'm trying to adjust to how my gift works now. Watch for signs of you, since I can't see you."
"Oh, yah. I thought you were calling me fat. Which would have been rude since I lost all that weight from having the big C and all."
Lung cancer stole my mother's voluptuousness before it took her life. When she died she weighed less than one hundred and twenty pounds. Her ghost looked more like she did before cancer, a size fourteen hourglass with a whole lot of va-voom. She didn't know and I didn't have the heart to tell her. "You're not fat, Ma. You never were."
"Nope, us Italian women? We're curvy. Like you, all hips and no torso."
I ignored that. "So, what'd you get? Does it have something to do with Nick?"
"You betcha."
***
"You're gonna love this one."
When Ma told me what happened, I grabbed my phone and called Mel.
"Have I told you how much I love your mother?" Mel asked.
"Not even once."
"That's funny, I thought I'd mentioned it."
My lips curled upward and I snickered. "It's safe to say Nick's probably gonna have a black eye."
Mel choked.
"You okay?"
Through a cough, she said, "Yeah."
"You sure?"
She coughed again. "Yeah, I just choked on my Oreo."
"Oreo?” I knew what she was doing. "You're dunking it in coffee, aren't you?"
"I plead the fifth."
"Copy cat."
"Tell me about the black eye."
"Ma went on a Nick hunt."
"Obviously. Where was he? He said he had to work late again but we know that's BS."
That was the part I'd hope to skip. "Her apartment."
"Oh." Her voice cracked.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm fine. Just tell me what happened."
"I was hoping they'd get to the good stuff but they didn't," Ma said.
I didn't pass that on to Mel. "She said the girl's name is Carrie, and that he told her you two had another fight."
"I knew it. Carrie's his new assistant. I called earlier and found out."
"Did you two fight recently?"
"Pfft. We'd have to actually speak to each other to fight."
"Tell her what he said about her," Ma said.
I covered the phone. "Shush. Gimme a minute, will ya?"
"What'd you say?" Mel asked.
"I was talking to my mother. She said he said you've become volatile." I waited for the Asian explosion.
It came, big time. Expletives shot from her mouth like ammunition from an automatic weapon. "I'll show that son of a bitch volatile."
Oh boy.
"I'm sorry."
She calmed down a bit. "It's not your fault. I just don't even recognize him anymore. I don't understand who he's become."
"I don't either," I said.
"He's become a shuck, that's what he's become," Ma said.
"A what?" I asked.
"A shuck, ya know, a cheat, a liar."
"I've never heard that before."
"Back in my day it's what we called men like Nick."
"What'd she say?" Mel asked.
I told her.
"A shuck. I like that," she said. She rattled off questions. "When was this? Is he still there? Where does she live? Is it the place where you got skunked?"
"Tell me when you're done so I can finish."
"I'm listening," she said.
"Yes, it's the place of the unfortunate skunk incident."
"I knew it."
"She tripped him."
"Huh?"
"Ma. She tripped him. That's why she thinks he's gonna have a black eye."
Mel busted out laughing. "I love your mother."
"I know."
"How'd she do it?"
"That's the million dollar question."
"Huh?"
"She said she just thought about it and suddenly he took a header right into the glass table. Chipped the glass."
"Too bad he didn't castrate himself."
"Probably the angle wasn't right."
Ma said, "I could probably do that, once I'm a little more advanced in my spirit super powers."
"Oh geez."
"What?" Mel asked.
"Ma says give her time and she can probably do that."
"Seriously?"
"Mel."
"Gotta go. The shuck just got home."
"Okay, I'll fill you in on the rest later."
"Nick's officially the shuck," I told my mother.
"If the shoe fits."
"Poor Mel. I don't know what I'd do if Jake cheated on me."
"Luckily that's not a problem 'cause you'd get all angry-Italian-wife on him and beat his ass."
I raised an eyebrow. "How do you know it's not a problem?"
"Maybe I checked on him a time or two. Ya know, just in case."
"You spied on my husband?"
"I like to think of it as keeping tabs on a family member."
"That's spying, Ma."
"You say tomato, I say tomahto. Besides, you want me to spy on your kid, so what's the big deal?"
I rolled my eyes.
"You didn't seem to mind when I told you about him and the granny hooker, remember?"
To convince Jake that my dead mother was back, Ma told me about an old woman prostitute who'd hit on him while he was on a business trip. When I told him, he became an instant believer. "That's different."
"How?" She asked.
"You did that so I could prove to him you were back from the dead."
"Ah, I get it. It's not spying if it helps you."
Yikes. She'd got me there. "That's not what I mean. Please Ma, don't spy on my husband."
"Fine, but if I happen to accidentally notice something I think you should know..."
"Okay, then I guess you can tell me."
"That's what I figured."
CHAPTER SIX
"ANGELA? ARE YOU ASLEEP?" Ma asked.
I threw the covers off and sat up. "What? Who?"
Ma laughed. "That's never gonna get old, I tell ya."
"Cheese and rice, Ma. You know I hate when you do that."
"Yah, and that's what makes it fun. Like when you were a kid and I'd come in and scream, wake up and pee the world's on fire."
I yawned. "That wasn't funny ei
ther, Ma."
"To me it was. I always sorta hoped you'd pee, but I didn't wanna have to clean it up."
I flipped on the light. "Why are you here? Is everything okay?"
"I found something in Emily's room. You gotta go get it. You can use it when you talk to her about the birds and the bees and that sex party."
I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock. It was four a.m. I didn't recall falling asleep. I clicked the light off and snuggled under the covers again. "It's four o'clock in the morning. I'm not gonna go in there and risk waking her up."
"Ah, you won't. She's not there. Snuck out a few hours ago."
I jumped out of bed. "What? Why didn't you tell me?"
"'Cause you were sleeping and I was keepin' my eye on her like you asked."
I pulled off my pajamas and grabbed my clothes from the day before. "You should have told me. Where is she?"
"She's at the Waffle House with that boy."
At least she was in a public place. "You still should have told me."
"Why? So you'd go get her? How'd you plan to tell her you found her?"
I took my cell phone from my nightstand and waved it in the air. "See this? It's magic. I can bust her without letting on that I know where she is."
"Oh, yah. Forgot about that. Never could figure out those things anyway. How'd they get a phone to work without plugging it into the wall?"
I suppressed a giggle and went to check Emily's room.
"What? You don't believe me?"
Truth was, I didn't know why I checked. "Yes, I believe you, I just felt the need to check."
I called Emily's cell but she didn't pick up so I sent a text: "Fifteen minutes." I paced in my room, my heels pounding into the carpet. I threw my hands up. "Who the hell does she think she is, sneaking out in the middle of the night?"
"Your daughter."
I glared in the direction of Ma's voice. "I never snuck out."
"Sure you did."
I did many things but sneaking out wasn't one of them. "No, Ma. I didn't."
"Remember that one time you sat on the roof with that boy? What was his name again? Ya know, before your dad and me split."
"I sat on the roof. That's not sneaking out."
"You left the inside of the house and went outside. That's sneakin' out."
"I stayed on our property so that doesn't count."
"You mean you snuck out and stayed on our property."
"Oh geez."
“You say tomato-"
I cut her off. "I say tomahto. I know."
"Before she gets home, you gotta go get that stuff behind her make up mirror. It looks like a tube of Chapstick. Hurry. She's almost home."
I shook my head. "Whatever it is, I don't wanna know."
"Ah Madone. You're a parent and sometimes you gotta do the hard stuff whether you wanna or not. Now go on."
I grunted and relented because she was right. Behind Emily's make up mirror I found a tube called Breast's Buddy, A Tingle Tube of Delight. My stomach did a little flip.
"She's gonna end up knocked up if you don't do something. I'm tellin' ya."
I popped the top and smelled the waxy stick. It smelled like fake watermelon. I probably shouldn't have, but in the name of motherhood, I licked it, too. It tasted waxy but nothing like watermelon. "This is gross. And she's not going to get pregnant from a waxy boob stick." The words boob stick made me cringe.
"Not from the stick she ain't, but what she does after she uses that stick is a whole nother ball of wax." She laughed at her play on words.
I rubbed the vein in my forehead. "I'll buy her condoms. Put her on birth control. Lock up her vagina with a steel chain and triple key locks." Okay, that was a bit extreme, but I didn't rule it out.
"Oh, now that'll be fun, taking her to the twat doc."
I hated that word. "Mother."
I heard the front door open and snuck out of Em's room, the boob tube hidden in my fist, and waited at the top of the stairs. Emily, head down, creeped up the dark stairwell and smacked right into me.
"Good luck," Ma said. "I'm outta here."
Scaredy cat, I thought.
I hit the home button on my phone, illuminating the hallway. "We'll talk in the morning." She walked into her room and closed the door without a word.
I went back to my room and Googled Breast's Buddy A Tingly Tube of Delight and then I texted Mel. "Emily bought some boob cream at that party."
She must have been awake because she texted right back. "Must have been a Pleasure Party."
I googled Pleasure Party. It was a home based party company focused on toys to make sexual acts more pleasurable, whether alone or with a partner. Acid rose in my esophagus. I swallowed it down. "How'd you know?"
"Seriously?"
"Forget I asked," I wrote.
"Did she buy Breast's Buddy?"
"Yup."
"Jar or stick?"
"The stick."
"Which flavor?"
"Watermelon."
"What's it taste like?"
"Seriously?"
"Come on. You know you tried it."
"Waxy watermelon."
Mel texted the description from the company website. The sensitizing ingredients of the Breast's Buddy Tingly Tube make for a tantalizing tingle on the go or when you're in the heat of the moment with that special someone. This enticing, erotic balm is ideal for a nibble by your partner or for a quick rub on the lips. Enjoy it alone or to get your partner to linger longer and pleasure you more, just apply to the nipples and feel the tingly sensation to make your nipples pop.
"I feel a migraine coming on," I wrote back.
"At least she's frugal. The cream was three bucks more," she wrote.
"There's a plus. Why are you up?"
"I wasn't. Forgot to turn off my ringer."
"Oh, sorry."
"No prob. Did you read my text?"
"Didn't see it. Hold on." I typed.
I went back and read Mel's text from several hours before.
When Nick came home he told Mel he'd fallen at work and hit the side of a chair. "Nice cover," I wrote.
"I know. Shuck thinks I believed him."
"I don't know who he is anymore."
"I do," she wrote. "Nick the prick. Or shuck the f---". She didn't finish the word.
I giggled. "Fitting."
"Wait. How did you find out about the boob cream?
"Guess."
"Have I told you how much I love your mom?"
"Maybe once or twice. Emily snuck out tonight to meet Chandler."
"Holy crap."
"Yup, and Ma told me. TWO HOURS LATER."
"Oh boy. Where was she?"
"Waffle House, but she's in bed now. Thinking of putting a padlock on her door."
"Good idea. Did you ground her for life?"
"Not yet. Told her we'd talk in the morning."
"It's already morning."
"You're right. I should wake her sneaky butt up."
"Yeah 'cause dealing with a cranky teenage daughter at four a.m. is fun."
"Good point."
"Going back to sleep," she wrote.
"Me, too. Night."
"Night."
***
An hour later I was still awake, so I tiptoed downstairs and put on a pot of coffee. I powered on my laptop and checked email and Facebook while the coffee brewed.
The coffeemaker finally beeped and I grabbed my second favorite coffee cup from the cabinet. It was from a family trip to Disney and had a photo of me, Jake, and the kids—younger versions, smiling, printed onto the sides. As I poured the coffee into it, the cup skated across the counter, spilling coffee along the way. "Not cool, Ma."
The cup glided back to me. I grabbed the handle so she couldn't move it again, and poured coffee into it. I pointed to the spilled coffee. "You need to clean that up." The cup plunged off the counter and smashed onto the floor. "Seriously? My second favorite cup? Nice, Ma. Real nice." I grabbed the broken p
ieces and tossed them in the garbage, and then used a wet paper towel to wipe up the rest of the mess, including the previously spilled coffee. I grabbed another cup from the cabinet and held it in the air as I poured the coffee. "Na na na-na na," I sang. "I win."
"How come she can see you, but not me?" A male voice said.
The hairs on my arms rose. "Who's here?"
"My name is Bill, ma'am." The accent was southern, and though the voice didn't seem threatening, my heart raced.
I straightened my shoulders and cleared my throat. "Well, Bill, it's not polite to come into someone's house uninvited."
"They said you could help me," he said.
Word of mouth spread fast in the afterlife. A ghost named Heidi once told me that my gift was common knowledge to ghosts and that more would find me. That would have been fine if I could hear and see them but I couldn't. "Well there's a better way to ask for help than scaring the bejesus out of me."
He didn't reply.
"Bill?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Do you understand?"
"Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry. I don't mean any harm." Bill spoke like a native Georgian, slow and with a long drawl.
I closed my eyes and focused my attention on the air in the room. I'd been trying to determine what it felt like when Ma came around so I could tell when she was here, but I hadn't quite pinned it down. I didn't feel anything funny, nor did the energy seem different than before. "Is my mother here?"
"Yes, ma'am."
I nodded. "Did you break my cup, Bill?"
"No, ma'am."
"Well crap," Ma said. "You didn't have to rat me out like that."
"I'm confused," he said. “She saw you break the cup but then she asked me if you were here, and if I broke it."
"I can hear her, but I can't see her," I said. "She's been messing with me lately so I kind of thought she broke the cup, but I wanted to be sure." I didn't want to wake up my daughter, so I walked to the door to the garage and said, "Come with me. Both of you."
Ma grumbled, but Bill was silent. Bill was a smart spirit.
I yanked a University of Georgia camping chair off the wall, pulled it open and sat in it. "Are you two here?"
"Yes, ma'am," Bill said.
I raised an eyebrow. "Ma?"
"Yah, yah. I'm here. Let the tongue lashing begin."
Bill spoke before I could. "I'm truly sorry to bother you, ma'am."
Unbreakable Bonds (An Angela Panther Mystery Book 2) Page 10