Sam
My mouth tingled and my skin hummed with a sort of after-glow. Even as I relived the memory of Alex kissing me, my temper flared. I was pissed at myself for enjoying it even after everything. And I was pissed at him for coming back here and toying with me in the first place.
The moment Edie was done with him, I planned to tell him that before he walked out on me a second time. He needed to hear it from me: there would never be a third.
The next time I saw him, it would be to heal him. I planned to keep my promise, to save his life and then spend the rest of mine rightfully pissed for what he’d done. When I found him to cure him, it would be me who waltzed in, achieved my purpose, and then turned my back and walked out.
The hall was empty as I made my way to the cafeteria Edie had mentioned. White tile floors glistened underfoot, my boots making slight screeching sounds on the waxed surface. God, this place was clean. I mean, hospitals were supposed to be but they never were. Beyond the smell of bleach, I had always suspected germs and bacteria coated every surface. But this place was pristine. It practically gleamed with sterility.
It was also pretty empty of nurses and nowhere did I see a Restricted or Staff Only sign. I had a feeling it was all or nothing here. Either you were cleared for entry or you never made it past the front doors.
When I reached the end of the hall, I turned the corner and entered the dining area clearly marked by a nondescript sign on the wall. The lights were on but dimmed. All of the other tables were empty. I wondered at that but then my stomach grumbled and rather than contemplate the lack of visitors, I made a beeline for the kitchen area.
It was set up like a serving line, cafeteria style with gleaming stainless steel rods to set a tray and slide it along as you made your choices. Everything sat behind the glass casing, refrigerated or heated as necessary. It looked a hell of a lot better than the food back in my high school cafeteria—or the plane food we’d been served hours ago.
At the sight of the steaming macaroni and cheese, my stomach grumbled. Carbs. Glorious, soul-comforting carbs. It was exactly what I needed right now. I grabbed an empty tray and moved down the line toward the hot food. An older woman appeared behind the glass counter, a plastic hair cap wrapped over her brown hair. “Hello there.” She wore a white apron and a pleasant smile as she waited for me to decide.
“Hello,” I said brightly.
I wondered if she was a hunter or just someone’s grandma they’d hired to serve here. Then I thought of Edie and realized she was probably both.
“What can I get for you?” she asked.
I ordered the mac and cheese and a slice of pizza that I hoped hadn’t been on the warmer too long along with bottle of water. When I tried to hand her a twenty, she shook her head. “It’s taken care of,” she said simply, waving me off.
“By whom?” I asked, looking around as if I’d somehow missed another body in the room. But it was still empty.
“The organization handles all the expenses here,” she said, her brows knitting in confusion. As if I should already know this.
I looked around and realized there wasn’t even a cash register. “Well… tell them thank you,” I said finally.
She smiled politely and nodded, waving me off.
I shrugged, too grateful to care and made my way to one of the empty tables. I didn’t even wait until I sat before I took a giant bite of the pizza. It was warm and gooey and delicious. I sighed as I chewed, enjoying the taste of something comforting right now.
“Better than plane food?” I heard behind me.
I whipped around, smiling around a mouthful of cheese and peppers. “Hey,” I said.
“Hey yourself,” Tara said. “So, how’s the food? Please tell me it’s good because I saw last quarter’s budget for the all-inclusive plans in our newest facilities and it made me want to cry.”
I laughed. “It’s very good,” I assured her. “Budget well spent.”
“Grandma will be glad to hear it.” She slid onto one of the empty chairs and I scooted in.
“What are you doing here? I thought you were back in DC for a while,” I said, and then my belly flopped as I thought of something. “Did you come with Alex?”
“Uh, no,” Tara said, shaking her head and chuckling. “Alex and I don’t travel together.” I started to ask why, but she held up her hands and hurried to add, “Trust me, Alex and I are just friends. We just work best together from longer distances.”
I smiled wryly as I swallowed a mouthful of pizza. “Totally understandable. He’s a piece of work.”
Tara’s smile fell and worry showed through. “I do need to be back in DC but I couldn’t go without seeing you first. How are you holding up?”
The question was simple enough but it brought with it the memory of what I’d done in Guam. The werewolf... Taotaomona. The pressure of being the only hope yet having no idea where to begin. My appetite was fading fast. “I’m okay,” I said, doing my best to sound believable as I dropped the slice of pizza back onto the ceramic plate. “Just worried about RJ.”
She leaned forward and slid her hand toward mine, brushing it before pulling away again. I wondered if she still felt a little bit unsure after the whole memory-erasing thing. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. To kill something is….”
“Permanent?” I finished on a heavy breath. Tara nodded, and the silence and space she gave me was enough to keep me chattering. “I’m okay. Actually… and I can’t believe I’m saying this but killing that werewolf wasn’t even the craziest part of the trip.”
“What do you mean?”
I hesitated and Tara scooted closer, grabbing my hand in hers. “You can talk to me,” she said and at her touch I felt my walls come down.
My eyes pooled with tears of relief and all the pent-up emotion I’d been carrying around since my run-in with the goddess and her three-eyed wolf.
Haltingly, I told her what happened at the cave on Mt. Lamlam.
When I’d finished, one by one, I showed her my three new scars.
“So, Alex—that scar on your abdomen is from healing his knife wound that night we…?” Tara blew out a breath, her eyes wide but her gaze unfocused and faraway. I had a feeling she was replaying everything she could remember from that night now too. “Wow,” she said finally.
“I was right about being a healer and that woman—Taotaomona, I mean—made it clear if I continue, there will be a price,” I said, frowning as I remembered her words, the weighty promise they held. Not a threat, more like a law. It wasn’t a punishment. It just was.
Although, since experiencing it for myself, I wasn’t quite as nervous about it anymore.
“Are you worried about that?” Tara asked. “The price, I mean? Does it make you scared to keep going?”
I eyed the food on my tray. My appetite was completely gone and I’d only half-finished it. Instead, I toyed with the bottle cap. “A little. I mean, the pain was no picnic but it felt… right. Or appropriate. Scary as hell at the time, but right. I accept it, especially if it means healing someone I care about. But what really scares me is learning to control it. Since my memory was restored, I’ve tried and tried and I still don’t know how to make my magic work. I can’t seem to get it to do what I tell it to.” I let out a growl of frustration.
“Don’t be discouraged, Sam. I read the report from Mirabelle about your family line. That combined with the encounter you had with Taotaomona, and these scars—it’s all progress. You’re a lot closer than you were,” she said, and I knew she was right, but it wasn’t enough.
I shook my head. “I wanted to help RJ so badly but I couldn’t make it work. I was too scared of it, or tried too hard to force it or… I don’t know, and now he’s in the hospital because I couldn’t help him.”
Tara sat up, her expression hardening into something that reminded me a lot of the way Edie had looked earlier when she’d pep-talked me in the car. “Okay, first: you absolutely helped him when you put that werewolf do
wn.” She held up a hand to silence my arguments, talking over me—again just like Edie. I bit back a smile at the stark similarities between them and listened. “And yes, that sucks. Killing always sucks. But you did the right thing because you saved RJ and your aunt and yourself. And then you helped him again. From what I hear, you stopped the bleeding, got him to the hospital in Guam, and then you got him back stateside.
“As for the healing, I don’t know personally, but from what I’ve seen, learning to wield magic—even when it’s an innate gift—takes practice and discipline. I have every confidence you’ll figure it out. It’s just going to take some time.”
“I hope not too much time,” I said, thinking of Alex.
“The magic will come whether you want it or not. You’ve seen that already.” She looked away, unseeing as she seemed to lose herself in some memory. “You can’t shut it off, that much I know, but if you don’t use it, I think it will use you.” She turned back to me and I frowned, letting that thought sink in.
For some reason, I thought about my itchy palms and then balls of fur that appeared when I was stressed. And the strange voice inside me that became frantic when I was stressing about the energy work. The last couple of years, I certainly felt used. More like a victim of the magic than a user.
“You think that’s what was happening to me before? When I couldn’t remember?” I asked, not wanting to explain how I was possibly still plagued with it now.
“Maybe. And again, I’m sorry for that.” She bit her lip. “You know, my great-aunt Vera also had a lot of magic inside her. More than most hunters or werewolves I’ve met before and since.”
“Vera?” I echoed, sitting up straighter at the familiar name.
“You’ve heard of her?”
“RJ mentioned her name once. He said she was really powerful. Even as a hunter, she had a lot of magic inside her.”
“She did. The problem was that she tried to rule over it rather than accepting it was its own force inside her. It was a constant internal struggle for her, keeping it dialed back when she thought she had to be a hunter instead. Over the years, it weakened her. Refusing to let it all the way in made her sick until she couldn’t control it anymore. Instead, it controlled her. Instead of letting it out, it began spreading inside her body. Like a disease, it wound its way farther and farther into the hunter parts of her and they began fighting each other for dominance.”
“She told you all of this?” I asked, completely engrossed in the picture she was painting. And caught in the tight grasp of fear as I imagined it happening to me.
Tara hesitated and then said, “She didn’t have to. A couple of years ago… Well, it’s a long story but let’s just say Vera’s in my blood. Literally. And I have a very personal sense of her struggle with her magic. I know what it was like for her trying to rule it and not be ruled by it.”
She took my hand and I inhaled, realizing I wasn’t even breathing as I let her words wash through me. It was the most understood I’d felt so far when it came to the way I related to the energy inside me. I wanted it but I also feared it.
“RJ said she died because of the magic. Is that true?” I asked quietly.
“Yes, but not in the way you think. She died because she was overrun by it. Too much trapped inside her,” Tara said. “I read in her journal once: You either use magic or it uses you.”
I shuddered at that and blew out a shaky breath. “I’m trying to do that but—” I stopped myself but Tara finished it for me.
“You’re afraid.”
My shoulder slumped as I nodded. “I don’t want to hurt someone,” I whispered. “Or lose myself to it. And I don’t want to fail everyone who is counting on me. If I do and the goddess returns to get her revenge….” I couldn’t even finish the thought.
I thought of the way I’d so easily healed the injured bird all those years ago. Barely a touch and it had been mended and back in the sky again, soaring away, whole. Even Kiwi who had been dying. One touch and she’d been so easily brought back again. The scar made it look like nothing. But I remembered. And Alex. I’d put my hands on him for only a moment and the wound sealed right up.
But now… now, I couldn’t even call my energy up without making it worse. Like with the burnt coral. And the charred teddy bear. Maybe I was trying too hard to control it. Maybe I needed to stop being afraid and just let it all the way in. If I didn’t, I’d end up like Vera. And all of the people I cared about would be dead.
“I don’t think you’ll lose yourself,” Tara said quietly. “In fact, I think learning to use your magic will do the opposite. At least, that’s how it was for me when I embraced both sides of me.”
“Half hunter, half werewolf,” I said, recalling what she’d told me about herself and she shrugged.
“It wasn’t an easy transition but accepting it made a huge difference. When I stopped fighting it, it just all felt so much easier. More natural. And I didn’t have to struggle or try so hard to control it. By then, it was just a part of me, you know?”
I nodded because I did know. Or I wanted to.
“Thank you for telling me about Vera,” I said finally. “I do want to let the magic in the right way. Without blocking it or letting it take me over. I just… I wish I knew how. I mean, I wish there was someone I could ask. Someone who knew about the old magic like this.”
“Documented cases of old magic users are rare,” she said, her forehead wrinkling in thought. “There aren’t any humans alive that CHAS is aware of that have access to it.” She paused and then said, “There is one name I’ve heard. No official reports on her, of course, so I have no idea where to find her but the stories say she’s an old magician. A witch from ancient times. They say she’s as old as the wind and just as hard to pin down.” She blinked and her gaze cleared, as if she’d been reciting something before.
I leaned forward, excited. “What’s her name?” I asked. “Where do I find her?”
“I don’t know where to find her. I don’t even know if she’s real,” Tara cautioned but my hopes had already been raised. “No one has seen her in a century, as far as I know, which means she’s not human and I don’t know if that will help or not. Hell, most hunters consider her nothing more than a fairy tale. But I do know her name.”
“What is it?”
“It’s Sushna. But they call her the Witherer.”
I frowned because none of that sounded particularly friendly or encouraging. But it was the first real connection I had to understanding what was inside me. “Thank you,” I said. “I’ll see if Mirabelle knows more about her. Maybe someone she knows can get me some more information,” I added, thinking of Harold.
“Let me know what you find out. In the meantime, we’re going to double up on your guard. Put more hunters near you to help keep an eye. You’ll probably have to stay somewhere else for a few days since your house will have your scent and signature all over it. I have to get back to DC for some meetings with foreign ambassadors on the feral werewolf problem overseas. Grandma will make the final call on where you can stay. And Sam, go easy on yourself. You’re just learning this side of you. It will come. And I believe you’ll figure it out before it’s too late.”
I took a deep breath, offering a shaky smile. “Thanks,” I said. “I needed the pep talk.”
“Anytime. You know, if anyone can save him, I think it’s you.”
“If he’ll let me,” I muttered but Tara shook her head knowingly.
“Oh, he’s definitely not going to let you,” she said, laughing. “Doesn’t mean you can’t do it anyway.”
I cocked my head. “I don’t mind the sound of that,” I said. “Serves him right anyway. Especially when he seems to want to die so badly.”
Tara’s eyes gleamed with the same sort of evil I suspected my own expression revealed. The kind that said we were going to do the right thing and piss someone off royally in the process. “Don’t forget, I have seen you when you set your mind to something. Especially when that so
mething is a man. Alex Channing doesn’t stand a chance.”
Chapter Twelve
Alex
Edie regarded me with a knowing stare. “You want to go back to work protecting Sam?” She folded her arms carefully over her sweatshirt, eyeing me with the intensity of a jungle predator.
But I wasn’t backing down. “No, I don’t want to. I’m going to. You can either reinstate me and give me resources or pretend we never had this conversation. I’ll go off the books if I have to.”
“Alex.” She shook her head slowly as if I’d somehow disappointed her, and her arms dropped to her sides. “You can’t just take this on as a civilian. I gave you time off to get your life in order before—”
“Before what? Before my life ends?” I demanded. And before she could answer, my temper took over. I kicked a chair and sent it skittering against the others, the metal thudding loudly in the otherwise quiet room. It was a big display even for me.
Edie simply raised a brow.
“If you’re sending me packing, I get to choose where,” I said in a low voice. And I knew I meant every word. If she denied me this, I was going in anyway, defying orders if I had to.
But Edie’s slowly curling smile threw me off. “And you choose her.”
I blinked, caught off guard by the way she’d said it. “Well, when you put it like that…” I muttered, shoving my hands into my pockets.
Suddenly, I no longer had the urge to break things. In fact, I was completely lost. All I knew was that Edie had just won—except I still didn’t understand the game.
I looked up and found Edie watching me and I just barely caught the smugness in her smile before she masked it. That shady old broad was messing with me on purpose…
“Fine. I choose her,” I said, using Edie’s words even if they grated on me strangely.
“And what if Sam refuses?” she asked.
“She won’t,” I said, more heat rising to my already flushed neck and face as I thought of our kiss. Edie evidently was already there judging from the snort she gave. “I’m serious,” I said, feeling defensive. “Sam will agree. It was my choice to leave. And I’m not going to make the same mistake twice.”
Inheritance: (A New Adult Paranormal Romance) (Heart Lines Series Book 2) Page 10