“I knew these fuckers were whipped, but I didn’t even know you were chasing some skirt. I know I’m not around the clubhouse more since I got put on babysitting duty, but I figured you would tell me when you strapped on your ball and chain.”
“I haven’t done it yet. First I need to convince her to even be in the same room as me.”
“Oh fuck me, you’re the worst one out of the bunch. Chasing women. There was a time that all we had to do was sit back, and the bitches would be crawling all over us.” Slider finished his beer and crushed it in his hand.
“You don’t ever get sick of that, though, Slider? I mean, don’t you want someone that is just with you and not ten other guys?” I had grown tired of that life a long time ago. After Paige and I had broken up, I dove into the stereotypical biker lifestyle, enjoying it for years, but I always knew that there was something better. Something I had, and then threw away like a fucking idiot. I would trade all of those years of partying and sleeping around for just one more day of Paige loving me.
“I haven’t met one chick yet that is worth giving everything up for. I’ll keep my nameless lays and drunken nights.” Slider chugged his other beer, stood up, the chair skidded across the floor and walked back over to the bar.
I had sounded like Slider at one point. When I still thought, Paige was to blame for everything and thought that all women were trouble. Now, all I wanted was Paige, and starting tomorrow, I was going to do everything I could do to get her back.
________
Paige
It was nine o’clock, and I had just got off the phone with Gwen. I had no idea what to wear tomorrow, and she really hadn’t helped. Her style was so different from mine that all of her suggestions were so far out of my comfort zone that it was ridiculous.
Half the time when I work, I wear flowy skirts, and I know that was the last thing I wanted to wear tomorrow. The weatherman was predicting a high of only twelve and a seventy percent chance of snow. Have my legs covered and probably wearing at least two layers of clothes was a must. It looked like I was going to go for warmth overlooking fashionable.
My phone rang from the kitchen where I had left it after talking to Gwen, and I could only imagine that it was her calling with more ideas.
“Hello?” I had looked at the caller ID, but I didn’t know who the number was.
“You’re not backing out on us tomorrow because you can’t find anything to wear, are you?” Meg. I could only imagine Gwen calling Meg after she got off of the phone with me and told her that I was freaking out over what to wear.
“No, but I hope jeans, snow boots and a big ass puffy coat are acceptable.”
“You’ll blend right in. That’s the basic attire around here in the winter time.”
“Well, that’s good to know.” I opened the fridge, realizing in my search for clothes to wear tomorrow I hadn’t eaten dinner. I had gotten home from the bookstore at seven and went directly to my closet and tore it apart looking for something to wear.
“I told Lo about the bookstore. He thinks I’m crazy because I now demanded a bookshelf to be made that spans the whole wall in the living room.”
“Holy hell, you have a house big enough for that?” I glanced around my apartment wishing I had a room for even a second bookshelf, but I barely had enough room for the one I had. Granted, half of it was filled with Mary Moo Moos.
“No, not really, but he said that he could make it work or that he could always add onto the house,” she giggled.
“I think you have a keeper there, Meg.” I couldn’t help but be a little jealous of the relationship that Meg and King had. I had never seen a man love his wife like the way he did.
“Yeah, I think we might still be in the honeymoon stage, and neither of us knows how I’m going to be when I go through menopause.” Meg cackled into the phone, and I could imagine her throwing her head back, laughing. “Lord knows Lo barely keeps a grip on me now.”
“It’s good to keep him on his toes, too,” I giggled.
“Amen, sister. I better go before he starts yelling at me for not reading again,” she laughed. “I was just checking in to make sure you were still coming tomorrow.”
“I’ll be ready at noon. Promise.” As much as I wanted to back out, I knew that it was going to be fun. I mean, could you really have a bad time with Meg, Cyn, Gwen, and Marley? I think that was impossible. I had heard stories of coffee pots and broken beds, so I was a bit curious to see what kind of craziness they would get into tomorrow.
I hung up with Meg and headed back to the fridge, pulling out a jar of jelly and decided PB&J was what was for dinner.
I leaned against the counter, munching on my sandwich and mentally picked out what I was going to wear. Now that I knew that tomorrow wasn’t a beauty contest, I was breathing a bit easier.
After I had wiped my hands on my pants, I turned off all the lights, and headed into the bedroom and put all my clothes back in the closet, leaving out my favorite pair of jeans and a red and black button down flannel shirt. Lumberjack chic at its best.
I fell into bed with my Kindle, the lights turned out, prepared to fall into the world of rock chicks and alpha males. Except I couldn’t get into the story that I had read over and over because there was one thing that was taking over my mind again and I hated it.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Demon. Bastard.
________
Chapter 11
Paige
“Oh, sweet Jesus, who in the hell let me eat the beer battered cheese curds and the big ass plate of nachos.” Meg leaned back from the picnic table we were sitting at and patted her stomach. “I think I have a food baby.”
Cyn snorted and reached over, rubbing Meg’s stomach. “I’d have to say you’re at least two months along.”
“You’re an ass,” Meg laughed, swatting her hand away. “How in the hell did I eat more than you?”
Cyn shrugged her shoulders and crumbled up her napkin. “It could be the huge plate of scrambled eggs, sausage, and toast that Rigid made for me this morning.” Cyn winked at Meg and collected everyone's garbage and headed to the trash can.
“Well, now that we’ve eaten everything the festival has to offer, how about we go check out the outhouse races and then the dog sled races are after that.” Gwen pulled the flyer they were handing out at the entrance to the festival and looked it over. “The chili cook-off is in three hours, too.”
“Ugh, please don’t mention food,” Meg moaned, laying her head on the table. “I’ve made a very bad decision,” she grumbled.
“Suck it up, buttercup, and let’s go watch these shitters shoot across the ice.” Marley stood up and dusted off her butt. “You know, that’s a sentence I never thought would come out of my mouth, but yet, here we are, watching shitters race across the ice.”
I had to admit that it was rather weird, and I didn’t entirely understand what was about to happen, although Gwen and Cyn seemed to be pretty excited about it.
“So, what exactly is an outhouse race?” I asked as we all trudged past the dozen food wagons and headed to the ice where there was a crowd gathered.
“It’s basically an outhouse on skis that two people push, and one person sits inside on a toilet, and they race across the lake,” Meg explained.
“And what exactly is the point?” I couldn’t help but question what was going on.
“Well, I think it all started when a bunch of guys had too much to drink and were trying to stay warm.” Meg cupped her hands together and held them to her lips, blowing hot air on them. “I mean, in Wisconsin, that’s where all the good ideas come from, ‘Here, hold my beer and watch this,'” she giggled.
“This sounds like just the kind of fun I bargained for today.” Cyn rubbed her hands together like Meg, but her’s was in a menacing way.
“Oh, Lord, help us,” Gwen laughed.
We joined the crowd that was growing bigger and stood on the side of the, well, I guess you would call it track.
“Alright, ladies. I think it’s time we place a little bet.”
“Oh, hell, she’s been with Gambler too long. Every time we do anything, she has to place a bet.” Marley rolled her eyes and huddled closer to me. It really was cold today, and I was barely able to keep my teeth from chattering.
“OK, what’s the bet?” Meg asked.
Gwen looked at us, eyeing us up and nodded to the outhouses at the start line. “Whichever one of us can convince one of these guys to sit in their shitters gets a free cut, dye, and style. The works, on me.”
“I can convince you to give me that anyway,” Meg scoffed.
“Annnd,” Gwen drawled. “Two tickets to the Adele concert next month.”
“Holy mother of God. You have tickets to see Adele?” Marley grabbed Gwen’s arm and shook her. “How in the hell did you get them?”
“I managed to get my hands on a pair, that's all you need to know.” Gwen backed up, and we all turned around to look at her. “Now, who’s in?”
“Hell, I’ll sit in any man’s shitter for a shot at Adele tickets,” Cyn replied.
“Eh, when I win, I’d have to convince Lo to come with me, and I know that would never happen. I’ll let you ladies duke this one out.” Meg crossed her arms over her chest and smirked.
“Ha, when you win. You’re so cute, Meg. It’s a good thing you’re not going in on the bet, you would so lose,” Marley sassed.
Meg waved her hand at her and laughed. “They’re all yours, Marley. That is if you can beat Cyn and Paige.”
“Oh, me?” I held my hands up and shook my head. “I’m not looking to sit in a random guy’s shitter.” I was too shy for this. Walking up to a stranger and asking if I could sit in his outhouse was more than out of my comfort zone.
“Nonsense. You three are in the running for them.” Gwen looked at her watch and shook her head. “The races start in twenty minutes so you ladies better get your asses in gear if you want to see Adele next month.”
Cyn and Marley took off to the start line. “Which one of these guys will let me sit in their shitter?” I heard Cyn muse. Marley bumped her with her hip and took off running.
“You did not just bump a pregnant woman!” Cyn screeched.
“It’s all in the name of Adele!” Marley called over her shoulder. Cyn waddled after her, waving her arms in the air and ranting about womb abuse.
“Come on, Paige. I bet you could beat Preggers and Blondie,” Meg winked at me.
“No, I don’t-”
“Move, now,” Gwen ordered, pushing me towards the start line. “This is your day to have fun, and this is exactly how you are going to loosen up. Maybe one of these guys are single and will let you sit on their shitter.”
“I feel like we are entirely overusing the word shitter,” I scoffed, digging my feet into the snow.
“Nonsense, that’s impossible. Shitter, shitter, shitter,” Meg chanted. “You never know, you might be able to tell your kids one day you fell in love with their daddy in a shitter,” she laughed.
“Paige, go have fun.” Gwen gave me one last push, and I gave in.
What did I have to lose? Marley or Cyn were probably already sitting in an outhouse, and I wouldn’t have to make a fool of myself. Although, Adele tickets were pretty damn tempting.
I shoved my hands into my pockets and eyed up the crowd. I guess it was time to find my prince and his perfect shitter. I strangely felt like Goldilocks looking for the perfect bed, except you know, I was looking for the perfect shitter.
I had to laugh and shake my head. I was right when I had thought that hanging out with these girls craziness would ensue.
Little had I known that I would be thrown into the middle of it. It was time to live a little.
________
Demon
“This, this was your wife’s bright idea for me to get Paige back?”
King shrugged his shoulders, a smug look on his face and headed to the back of the outhouse.
I was presently sitting on a toilet in an outhouse on Crystal Lake, freezing my balls off. Sitting on a porcelain toilet wasn’t exactly warm, and I had been cursing Meg all morning.
King hadn’t told me the plan until he texted me this morning and told me to meet him in the body shop. When I had walked through the door, I hadn’t planned on seeing an outhouse sitting in one of the bays.
After King had given me the run down what outhouse racing was, we had torn off the door of the shitter, screwed in a toilet and painted the name of our racing team that Meg had given us.
We were Stool Runnings. Even I couldn’t keep a straight face after King had stenciled it on the back wall of the outhouse. “I do have to give creativity points on the name,” Hammer had laughed.
But I hadn’t even discovered the best part of it yet. My two teammates were Hammer and Turtle. I was convinced right then and there we were going to go down in flames, and Paige was going to think I was a fool.
“OK, Marley and Cyn are headed this way. I’m gonna head over to where Demon, Troy, and Rigid are standing. Meg said Marley and Cyn were going to throw the bet so Paige should be a shoe in.” King pulled his leather jacket tight around him and pulled a wool hat out of his pocket. He pulled it over his head, and I couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Shut the hell up,” he grumbled. “It’s fucking cold out here.” King trudged off into the crowd, and I was left with Hammer and Turtle as my wingmen. I was utterly doomed.
“You know, never in my life I would be pushing Demon in an outhouse on a frozen lake,” Hammer pondered. He had a half-eaten bag of popcorn in one hand and a chili dog in the other.
“You’re not the only one,” I mumbled. I looked around, trying to catch a glimpse of Paige, but didn’t see her. The thing of it was, I don’t understand how Meg thought Paige was going to talk to me once she saw me. She was pretty clear the last time I had seen her that she was done with me.
My phone dinged with a text, and I pulled it out.
Hello, Demon. Meg here, your trusty matchmaker. I’ve sent Paige unsuspecting towards you. Try not to blow it.
I shook my head, and my fingers pecked away at the letters. Texting was not something I enjoyed. My fingers were too damn big for the fucking tiny letters. This isn’t going to work. The first guy she asks is going to say yes. A guy would have to be stupid to say no to Paige. She was the perfect combination of sexy and innocent. I was amazed when I had run into her and found out she wasn’t married.
It’ll work. I’ve planned for that contingency.
What in the hell are you talking about? Even in text message, Meg came across as a nut.
It means Lo told all the guys if they say yes, he’ll beat the hell out of them and steal their wives.
Bullshit. I doubt Meg would let King threaten to steal wives.
OK. I lied. But just don’t worry about it. She should be to your shitter any minute. Try not to be a dick.
I shoved my phone back into my pocket and shook my head. This is what I get for enlisting the help of Meg. Out in the middle of a frozen lake sitting on a toilet.
“There goes Cyn and Marley,” Turtle called. Cyn and Marley strutted by, waving as they went but didn’t stop to talk.
“Who are we waiting for again?” Hammer asked. I swear to Christ, it was like I was stuck with dumb and dumber on this mission.
“Paige, you idiot.” I scanned the crowd again and finally saw Paige talking to another team. The guy thankfully shook his head no. Otherwise, I was going to have to smash his skull in if he had said yes.
She had asked two more teams before she was right at our shitter and I prayed to God that she didn’t run when she saw me.
“Um, I have this bet going with my friends, do you think that I could just sit in yours for a second?” she mumbled. Her voice was timid, and I could tell how nervous she was.
“You’ll have to ask King shitter. He’s on his throne right now.” Turtle laughed at his joke, and I couldn’t help but give a smile. Fucker may be slow, but he was funny
.
I heard Paige shuffle around to the front of the shitter, and she looked like I killed her dog when she saw it was me. “Shit,” she mumbled. “I thought those two guys looked familiar.”
“Hello, Paige.”
“I can’t believe I fell for this. I mean, who actually would bet people if they would sit in someone’s outhouse.” Her face turned bright red, and she dropped her eyes to the ground.
“It’s really not that far-fetched if you are hanging out with those four. Crazy is their middle names.”
“OK, well, I’m just going to go home.”
She turned on her heel, but I grabbed her arm and spun her back around. “Paige, don’t leave just because I’m here.”
“Demon, why are you here?”
“Thought I’d take my shitter for a ride. See how she runs wide open.” I leaned back, my elbows resting on the tank of the toilet and stretched out my legs. For an outhouse, this thing was pretty spacious.
Paige shook her head and looked down the track. “I’m assuming you can hit what, two, three miles an hour?”
I threw my head back laughing. “On a good day.” I forgot what an excellent sense of humor Paige had. She had a dry and sarcastic way about her that if you weren’t paying attention, you wouldn’t know that she had made a joke.
“I suppose there aren’t any Adele tickets up for grabs, are there?” she pondered as she crossed her arms.
“I’m not for sure, but I’m pretty sure that was just a ploy to get you to come over here.”
“I was completely played, wasn’t I?”
“Just a bit, baby, but I have to say in your defense that with Meg scheming against you, you didn’t stand a chance.”
Fighting Demon: Devil's Knights Series Page 6