by T R Tells
“’ Morning to you, sirs,” Jiran said, greeting the two soldiers at the foot of the gates. There were at least four on the ledge that Thea could see when she looked up.
“’ Morning, what business do you have outside the walls?” One of the soldiers had a flat forehead and his eyes seemed too small for his face.
“I plan on selling my wares over in Acothien and Pania. The fruits of my labor have seen good days and I think they’ll make a couple of pieces, maybe a pound if I’m lucky.”
The guard nodded. Bits of hair fell into his small eyes and for a moment he seemed faceless, making Thea’s heart skip a beat.
“That’s quite sound. I’ll need to check your wares though,” the guard said and walked over to the wagon for the guard to inspect the carriage. Thea was almost worried that he would find something illegal, but Jiran’s grin didn’t falter, and it made Thea relax.
“Hmm . . . Seems clean, alright you’re free to go. Watch out for desert animals,” the guard said as he swept his hand toward the gate.
“Will do, thank you kindly.”
Hearing that there would be wild animals made Thea crane her neck to Jiran, curiously wanting to ask him about what lies ahead. The gates slowly opened to reveal the outside of Middilgard. She knew that they would pass the crossroad between the village and the home she and Dominya had once occupied.
Before Thea could take another step, the men called them back. Jiran stopped his cart, and the smile that was once on his face disappeared. Thea's face paled as the guard sauntered over to her. She did not move. She watched as the tiny-eyed guard bent down to her level so that she could see his jade green eyes, that may have been beautiful on another face.
“And, who is this? Your—”
“That’s my nephew, Theo. His mother died from the Ire Scourge some years ago, he’s been living with me.” Jiran said quickly. He hoped that the Kingsland Guards would not sniff out anything.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with you.” The other guard finally spoke up. Thea wanted to curse, she even thought about running, but that would create problems for her and Jiran.
“I’m very weak, sirs,” Thea shyly said and looked at her feet. “My uncle here is right, my mother died of the scourge, but she was already a sickly woman when she had me. It seems I have met the same fate. I’m just surprised I’ve been living this long.”
“What’s in your bag, Theo?”
Thea's eyes widened. She didn’t want the soldiers to check her bag and find her dagger they would no doubt arrest her then. She quickly had to think on her feet and with shaky hands reached into her handbag to reveal her blade.
The leather-bound book.
“It’s a book, sir… I, uh, was learning to read,” she averted her gaze and scuffed her foot on the ground, trying for a modest look.
The guard yanked it from Thea’s grasp and roughly flipped through it. Each time that the pages flipped, Thea flinched at the noise; it sounded like a rip. She wanted to tell them to be careful, but she kept her lips closed tightly.
The man suddenly laughed. “Ivan, come over here and look at what the kid is reading.” Thea could see the other soldier, Ivan, walking over to the tiny eyed man. “Femme Fatale’s Dance.”
Ivan chuckled too, it echoed in his helmet. He reached up and pulled the lid of his helmet back so that she could see his hickory colored eyes and a bushy mustache.
“Aren’t you too old to be reading smut, young man? You’re better off picking up a sword than this filth,” Ivan said.
Thea couldn’t be sure what they had against the book or what the term smut even was.
“I am too weak to pick up a sword, sirs.” Thea tried to sound as meek and bashful as possible. She scuffed her foot on the ground for emphasis.
The men continued to laugh among themselves. The tiny-eyed man turned to look at Jiran.
“Watch out for your nephew, see to it that he doesn’t grow up to be cur. We need more strong men and fewer cowards.”
Thea frowned. She was unfamiliar with the term he used.
“Whatever makes him happy I have no quarrels with,” was all Jiran said to them. They didn’t seem to like that response. Ivan thrust the book back into Thea’s hands and made her jerk backward. After a moment the Kingsland Guards allowed them to pass.
They didn’t so much as wave them off as Jiran and Thea pulled the wagon down the dirt road. They needed to stop at a stable called Peppers Farm that was on the furthest side to the west and away from the villages. When Thea had first been on the way to Kingsland, she had been trying not to freeze or starve to death that hadn’t been able to look at the scenery, so this time she decided to take in the forest.
The path was narrow, but not very bumpy and well kept. The trees crowded close to the road on either side, and they were huge. She was tiny compared to the trees that towered over her. The hypnotic scent of the pine trees filled the air, they smelled green and fresh, and there was a muted scent of sweet-smelling flowers accompanying them. There were little purple wildflowers scattered throughout the forest ground. Thea remembered that she saw those in the fields near Twinleaf Village in the summers and picked them with Dominya so long ago; the forest was peaceful and serene. There was no sound except their feet and wagon hitting the road and the occasional birdsong, even the voices were quiet
“Jiran?” Thea asked. She could see him look at her from the corner of her eye. “What’s a cur?”
“A mean word people use to insult and call one another cowards.”
“Oh, well that’s rude.” Thea hated when people were mean and criticized one another for no reason. She moved onto another topic that had been on her mind. “They said that there are desert animals, is it safe to go out?”
“It’s mostly just the Putnam Jabë desert wolf, but as long as you’re near the fire he won’t bother you.”
Even though he said she had nothing to fear, Thea was still nervous.
“Why did you say that I was your nephew? I know that I’m masquerading as a boy already, but it seemed pretty urgent to you.”
Jiran nodded. “You’ll understand pretty quickly that when you are a woman people treat you a bit unfair, especially in Kingsland. If you were anything but a boy, even a sissy boy, they would not have let you pass with me. They don’t see a woman gathering or selling supplies. Have you ever seen a merchant woman?”
Thea didn’t think so, not that she was searching for specific genders anyway.
“Speaking of gathering, how did he even know?”
Jiran turned his head to look at her before sighing.
“There are rumors that someone came to the King several years ago and prophesized to him and some believe that King Godfrey had gone mad enough to propose The Gathering, and rid of the Magi in Middilgard’s vicinity. Once he knew that they were still around, Kingsland soldiers arrested them on sight. They even went as far as bribing Mundanes to give the locations of their neighbors.”
“That’s terrible. Why would anyone help the king get rid of their own kind? He forced everyone to label themselves like cattle! Th-That’s not fair!”
“That’s the law sadly. We either take it or we fight back, and that will lead us to a rope around our necks.”
“Well, I’m tired of the King and his stupid laws.”
“There’s not much we can do about it.”
Jiran and Thea continued their travels on their three-day trek. They rested often and shared little tales before they returned to their journey. On the third day, they headed toward the western part of Middilgard where they approached Pepper farms. Jiran told her to wait by the wagon and she leaned against the wooden frame while Jiran spoke to the stable hand that was outside.
Jiran was back within two minutes with a large brown horse. “Come here, do you know how to tie a wagon to a horse?”
Thea walked over and shook her head.
“Pay attention, I’ll show you. You pull it through here, then you make a knot through there. Now, you
try.”
Jiran showed Thea the proper way to make a knot and he stepped back, with his arms crossed, as he watched her fumble with the rope. She furrowed her brows as she stared intently before attempting to copy what Jiran did, but she huffed and started to cry in frustration.
“It’s too hard!”
Jiran smiled and went over to help her. “The trick is to take your time.” Thea wiped her eyes and watched Jiran expertly tie the rope together.
When the wagon and horse were secure, Jiran and Thea boarded it and rode away. Up ahead she could see the Parsi desert as the morning light turned from a shaded pink to bright orange. It was breathtaking. Thea leaned her back against the seat and let the wagon’s slow and steady bumps rock her to sleep.
Chapter Fifteen
The night chill jostled Thea from her sleep. She squinted her eyes and peered at the darkness that surrounded her. As she sat up the blanket fell off her shoulders, making an instant chill run down her spine. She picked up the orange threaded blanket on the floor of the wagon.
“Where are we?” Thea asked out loud. Even though her eyes had not adjusted yet, she was confident she would not be able to see past the sheer layer of darkness surrounding her. The orange glow from their lamp was the only thing that kept them from plummeting into the night.
“Jiran?” Her voice squeaked just as a brighter orange light appeared. She turned her head and saw Jiran crouched by a fire. She grabbed the blanket off the floor and hurried off the wagon's bench, approaching the fire.
“Glad you’re awake now,” Jiran greeted her with a smile. “You can start unloading the sleeping bags and our food for the night.”
Thea nodded at the instruction and walked to the back of the wagon. While she reached out to grab a cot, she saw four pairs of shiny yellow eyes staring back at her.
She yelped and jumped, covering her mouth instantly. When she started to back up, a hard surface blocked her path.
“Don’t look at them,” Jiran told her in a casual manner. Thea looked up at him as he surveyed the scene. “The desert wolves see that as a sign of intimidation. They’ll get as close as they can before they’re startled by the fire. If you’re close enough, the pack will snatch you and drag you to their dune to maul you.”
Thea shivered, knowing that it was not the cold that chilled her bones.
“How many are in a pack?”
Jiran shrugged. He looked away and to the wagon’s back. “About four or five, one is just enough to drag your scrawny ass out there, and in the Parsi desert no one will hear you scream.”
Thea gulped and instinctively backed away as Jiran grabbed the sleeping bags.
“Grab that brown bag there, Thea.”
Thea quickly snatched the brown bag that was closest to her and ran back over to Jiran. He laughed when she came closer to the orange light. Her eyes were wide with fear, her face flush with just a tiny amount of amber coloring her eyes. She waited for the voices to mock her fear, as they usually did, but she still didn’t hear them. They’d always been there, so Thea was a little scared. If she focused on them, she could make out their whispers. It was as if there was a wall between her and them and she could only hear their muffled voices. Even though they annoyed her, it had been comforting to know they were there.
“I-I’m not scared,” Thea stuttered, which only made Jiran laugh harder. She frowned as the sound of a howling screech pierced the night sky. Thea jumped halfway off the ground and scurried over to Jiran, closing the space between them in a flash.
“Not scared, eh?” Jiran mocked. Thea said nothing as she poked out her lips in mock defeat.
I guess I don’t need the voices to tease me about this, Thea mused.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Thea. Fear is a good thing sometimes. Have you heard of fight or flight?”
Thea remembered when the soldiers took Dominya from her. She remembered she felt nothing, but fear quake her bones until something ignited in her and she reacted.
“I stabbed a Kingsland guard in the eye when they came to take my sister. He got his revenge though . . . he struck me so I couldn’t move,” Thea pulled her hair away from her face and leaned closer to Jiran. “His gauntlet left me with a nasty scar.” Her lips turned into a frown, but then Jiran laughed, and a smile slowly spread across Thea’s face as she chuckled along with him.
“You’ve certainly got the spunk; I’ll tell you that. During my time with the Roma, I can tell that you’re very much different. The Roma I knew all tended to carry themselves in a certain similar way, but you are distinct and different from the others,” Jiran said with a smile. “They were more reserved and kept to themselves and you do share their mistrust of strangers, but for different reasons, I assume. Those who might still be alive have become nomads to keep people from finding them and either killing them or using them for their magic, and some say to avoid the darkness in others.”
Thea tilted her head quizzically. “What do you mean ‘darkness’?”
“You see, in every person, they have a choice, called free will — it is the balance between negativity and positivity. The Roma rely on living in positivity because they struggle between the dark and the light, depending on their circumstance or environment,” Jiran explained. “Do you remember that feeling when you stabbed that Kingsland guard? That bubbling, seething feeling?” Thea nodded, not wanting to think much about that day. “You subconsciously fell into negativity.”
“So, it’s because of who I am and my heritage? How am I able to get rid of the darkness? What if you can’t escape it?” She didn’t like the answers that she heard.
“It isn’t your fault, Thea.”
***
Jiran’s face softened as he heard the plea in her voice. He couldn’t possibly imagine all that she had been through. For years, she has been without any guidance in the world to lead her away from the burden of darkness haunting her, especially at such a young age.
“Well,” Jiran started looking for the right words.
“Every person is different, every situation is different, and it is simply up to the person, their free will, to choose their path. There’s good inside you Thea, I see it. I know even in when the choice seems bleak you will choose the right path in the end,” Jiran said with a reassuring smile, hoping she would believe in herself.
“Do you think you can you tell me more about your time with them? The Roma, I mean. What were they like? What were their customs? What foods did that eat?”
Thea vibrated with excitement as she blurted out every question that came to her mind. She was eager to know more about her people, and by extension, herself.
Her excitement made the desert wolves mimic her and she jumped as they roared. Jiran chuckled at her enthusiasm.
“Eager, eh? Well, let’s see, one of the Roma leaders was Gaius-Sey. He was enigmatic, excuse me, a mysterious man who was loved by all his people and had a charisma that was kind and liked by everyone.”
Thea’s eyes twinkled as she sat cross-legged listening to Jiran. She even forgot that they surrounded by wolves.
“Tell me more.”
Jiran nodded and rubbed his chin while he dug his other hand into the brown knapsack.
“When I spent time as their prisoner, I watched everything — They lived as tradesmen and planter life, eating only what they grew, but a crowd favorite was pudding and cocoa beans. They prayed and meditated every day to keep them from absorbing the negativity of the world into their bodies. They followed the old ways of their gods, Ansem and Kii. Do you know them?”
“Uh-huh, sometimes I pray to Ansem, but a lot of the time I pray to Kii.” Admittedly, she had stopped praying to them, at one point, because she hated them for taking her sister away.
“Ah, right, the goddess Kii, she is the twin sister to Ansem, or the Androgynstic god when they come together. Long ago, they had an argument that forced Mundanes to undergo perpetual darkness because without dreams and knowledge, what is a person without its soul? They both
decided for the good of their children to set aside their differences. Oftentimes they appear as a young man and woman with bright blue hair, but their true form is androgynous to show the unification of man and woman. He teaches his children about dreams and fate where she teaches them knowledge.”
“Do Ansem and Kii watch over me, Jiran? Even if I haven’t prayed to them for a long time?”
Jiran nodded as he took a bite into an apple while he tossed another apple Thea’s way. She gingerly caught it in her hands. “No matter what, Ansem and Kii love all of their children and won’t forsake you because you lost your way.”
“Wow,” Thea said amazed by his words. She looked down at her apple and moved it around in her hands. “Do they ever speak to people? I mean, I guess that’s the reason why I stopped praying to them. I could never get an answer when I needed them.”
“I wouldn’t worry too much, Thea. Roma’s communication works when they connect through visions and dreams. It can be frustrating sometimes to want to hear them, especially if you’re going through a rough time, but they’re always watching over you and one day you might be able to hear their call. You’re about thirteen, now?”
“Fourteen,” she corrected.
“You’re way above the age limit. Twelve is the time that your visions and magic will develop; perhaps you’re a late bloomer. Have you had any visions?”
She nodded and recounted when she was ten and had an unclear vision about Eddie and even more so, the chilling sensation around the King. She had forgotten to mention the more recent vision about a house on fire, which resulted in someone’s death.
“What you just mentioned, that sounds like tethering,” Jiran said. Thea furrowed her brow in confusion. “Tethering works differently for each Roma, but initially it is the positivity and negativity you’re trying to absorb. What was the feeling you had with that boy Eddie?”
She nodded. “Yeah, it felt like I was being encased in ice like it was some foreboding message but what I felt with the King . . .” she trailed off, as she remembered the deep hatred clawing her insides. “I saw a black cloud and I felt like I wanted to kill him.”