by T R Tells
Thea gulped and held fast to the whip again as Maggie removed her shirt. Thea pulled back her arm and let her hand swing down.
Thea knew she would never forget the pain-stricken look on Maggie’s face as she took the beating or the look of fear in Freya’s eyes when Thea went to comfort her.
Thea feared herself. Is this what she would become?
Obviously, one of the voices said into her head. She couldn’t be sure which. You’ll be nothing but a weapon; a useless weapon.
Another voice stirred in the back of her mind. And she’ll keep hurting, or getting her loved ones hurt because she’s too weak and powerless to do anything about it.
The rest of the voices started laughing. The cackle of their voices echoed in her head, taunting her as they simultaneously repeated crude and obnoxious vulgarity to her.
“Now it’s your turn,” Flint said, pulling her from the distraction of the voices torments.
***
Thea stared at the whip on the floor, the black tassels covered in dark, sticky blood—Freya and Maggie’s, and now her blood. Both her backside hurt from the ten lashes and her wrist was no better from administering the same thing. More than once did she black out as Flint struck her. Thea’s eye twitched as she stared at the splatters of blood and the whip lying haphazardly on the floor, her vision flickered: she saw several dead bodies of men lying face down in a pool of blood on a stained dirt floor. Terror gripped her, but the vision was gone as quickly as it came.
The air was thick and unwelcoming, making it impossible to breathe.
Thea, dizzy, had to remove herself from the toxicity of the room and ran out the door, but she did not stop there. She didn’t care if she would get in trouble, Thea wanted to leave the ratted home infested with looters and monsters. So, when the icy wind hit her face, she embraced the frigid cold. The pain in her nose was numb and her wrists ached from swinging the whip. She stood in the knee-high snow, shivering from head to toe, the burning feeling in her chest never ceased despite her fingers and toes becoming numb.
Thea cried. Why won’t it go away! I want it all to go away! The tears began to come out faster now, Thea no longer tried to control it. She needed to feel something else other than the guilt gnawing at her insides, but no matter how hard she tried the feeling never subsided. The voices overlapped in her head, talking over each other.
You don’t deserve for the pain to go away. You couldn’t protect them. You’ll never be able to, you’ll only make it worse.
Freya will never trust you again. Maggie’s lost faith in you.
Failure. And, now you’re going to abandon them. You don't dare to face them again.
You let them take Dominya. You left, and Flint took over. You helped break Freya. You let down Jiran. You will always lose anyone you love.
The voices amplified the pain, shattering her heart. They’re right, Thea thought as she let out a bellowed scream. The sound was so eerie that Thea didn’t even register the cry to be mundane or hers, for that matter. Once the screaming subsided, Thea’s heart beat wildly, and her breathing came out in short, quick breaths—her throat was sore. The cold had started to affect her, making black spots dance in her line of vision and her knees shook, causing her to lose her balance as she fell knee first into the snow.
Thea sat there alone in the dark, letting the cold snow numb her body and hopefully her insides. She didn’t even want to cry anymore.
Pathetic! Coward! Worthless girl! May as well end it, it’ll save others from the pain you bring. Thea couldn’t tell which voices were which, they were all mocking and painful. They knew how to cut her to the core.
She hadn’t known how long she had sat there in the cold, awaiting death. She could no longer feel her fingers or toes. She couldn’t even see her breath in the air, just black spots that slowly began to cloud her vision. Then, she heard what sounded like chains.
“Wherefore the drops of sorrow, dram one?”
Thea tried to move her body but found herself unable to do so. She willed her arms and legs to move, but they were unresponsive to her frantic thoughts.
“It’s futile to struggle, I didn’t bind thee from moving.” When the voice spoke, it sounded as if several voices were talking simultaneously. A wolf with fur as black as the starless sky, and as large as a bear appeared with silver shackles around his ankles and throat.
Thea wanted to run, to scream, but she was too immobilized to do so as the hair on the back of her neck instantly stood on end and several bumps traveled up the length of her arm, despite her frozen body. She found herself staring into its yellow eyes as it glared at her in the darkness. Its fangs protruded from its mouth, dripping with thick saliva and blood.
“I sense thy fear it is riveting, but reeks of destruction and misprise. Mine own sons we're right about thee,” the wolf spoke, even though its mouth did not move or growl. Its presence was overwhelming, and Thea found it almost impossible to keep looking at the black wolf.
What did he mean? The Sons of Samuel?
“You shall know in due time and you shall reap the benefits. All you need to do is surrender yourself to me, Thea.”
Who are you? What are you?
“I am many names, names if spoken would you quiver in pain from my greatness. You shall call me Fenris.”
I still don’t understand. Why have you come here? What is it that you want with someone like me? I’m nothing.
The wolf stepped closer to Thea and towered over the girl. Its glowing yellow eyes pierced into Thea’s very soul, and she immediately felt exposed. She couldn’t be sure, but it was as if it could see her past and future all at once.
“Is it not clear? I seek, as you do, redemption and revenge. There is far too much misery, betrayal, and desecration in this world. I, unfortunately, cannot do this on my own . . . not yet. It is not time. I am simply only an illusion. My followers, my creations; my children speak for me to testify my greatness.”
This is a trick, it's only a trick. The Sons of Samuel are evil! One tried to kill me!
The wolf chuckled, making the chains rattle. The sound chilled Thea’s bones and she suddenly felt as if death was nearing.
“Do not believe everything you see, Thea. There is a bigger goal at hands, that many will not see because they fear what they do not understand. The Mundanes persecute and neglect, they wage war, and for what? Bloodshed and anger. That is what I wish to change, you must see the truth, do you not?”
Thea hesitated, unsure. So, you came to save those who are in turmoil? How the hell can I trust someone who forces control? That sounds like everyone else to me.
“The difference between me and them is that they are imperfect and impure, filled with misdeed and sin. I wisheth to changeth the world to something better than what was given to us by the gods of the Azure Reach.”
“I can give you the power you seek; give yourself to me, when I call it, and you shall have a world free of impurity.”
The way he spoke Thea’s name sounded like hissing and it chilled Thea’s bones to the core, but the talk of retribution and power made her mind dance with images: A large, terrifying and magnificent beast with beautiful red scales flew overhead. It roared through the clouds with an echoing screech and stretched its wings for all to see. Thea found herself hypnotized by it. She wanted the power to see the king’s head on a silver platter; she wanted every last guard to die for taking the women; Thea wanted Flint to die, and she wanted any man who thought of touching a woman or child to burn for eternity.
Thea suddenly found herself, before she even knew what she was thinking, or saying, told the wolf, “yes.”
The wolf smiled. A smile that a wolf should not have been capable of making.
“It is done.”
Thea frowned in confusion, but before she could say anything, she felt the air tense and something strong forcing her mouth open. When she saw the wolf open its mouth, she panicked but found herself still unable to move as black sludge began to ooze from the mo
uth of the beast and dripped into hers. Thea’s eyes widened as black, sticky tar ran down her throat and out of her mouth. There was no taste, only the feeling of being suffocated, and it felt as if not only were her lungs being smothered in this tar, but her soul as well. Thea started to get dizzy, losing oxygen fast, darkness began closing in, and before long everything became dark.
Sister, make sure everything goes according to plan, the distant voice of Fenris said before fading into the background. It was not long until Thea heard a familiar voice that she thought had been long gone:
It has been far too long, Thea, Hel wickedly said. Did you think I was gone forever?
***
“Thea?”
It took a moment for Thea to register someone was calling her name. She couldn’t feel her body; everything was cold and started to burn.
“Thea!” the voice shouted even louder; Thea immediately recognized it as Eddie’s. She slowly opened her eyes; her vision was blurry, and her head was spinning. She couldn’t recall what happened just moments ago.
“Ow!” Thea yelled. She slapped her numb fingers on the back of her neck. When she removed her hand, there was blood on her fingertips. Did something bite me?
“Thea,” Eddie called out once more, he grabbed her shoulder to get her attention and she spun around to see Eddie’s pale ridden face. Up close, Thea could see how badly off he was. His hair lacked sheen and looked as if it were growing several gray hairs; he had scars along his cheeks, neck, and wrists. He even had bloodshot eyes to match with the dark circles.
“What are you doing out here? It’s freezing. Does Flint know you’re out here?”
Thea frowned. She remembered why she had run out of here. The cold that had seeped into her bones was replaced by anger as it began to warm her body, helping her to stand.
“Does Flint know you are out here?” Thea tilted her head to the side and looked at him with bugged out eyes. She wanted nothing more than to smack him.
Do it, the motherly voice gruffly whispered in her ear. He deserves it.
Eddie licked his chapped lips and shrugged. “He lets me, I guess. I needed some fresh air. You know you—”
Thea snorted. “Oh, please spare me the lecture, you aren’t the boy who was giving orders before. Now you’re just Flint’s whipping boy ready to lie on his back whenever he asks it.”
Eddie didn’t say anything to protest her statement just looked around and avoided Thea’s gaze. “You don’t actually lay on your back, not guys anyway.”
Thea narrowed her eyes at him, and her lips parted some. She couldn’t understand how someone as unruly as Eddie could break so quickly; the person standing in front of her was an empty vessel.
“Who are you! What the hell has Flint done that he’s made you his bitch!? You just gave up on us and let him do whatever he wanted. Do you even know what he made me do to Freya and Maggie? Do you!” Thea shouted at the top of her lungs. She stepped in Eddie’s face and gripped the collar of his shirt as he merely looked away as he tightened his eyes and bit his lip.
Thea couldn’t contain the laughter in her voice as she released his shirt and he stumbled back a few steps. She shook her head in disgust. “You’re pathetic, you know that? Maggie looked up to you, those kids looked up to you, and you just let him take over like, like exactly what he calls us - Rats!”
Smack!
Thea hadn’t expected it but the moment she felt the stinging sensation on her cheek, she looked at where Eddie’s palm was still in the air. Thea grabbed her cheek and stared at Eddie’s furrowed brow and red face, but he didn’t look angry as he turned to look at Thea, his eyes filled with tears.
“Don’t you think I know this, Thea! Every day I see him, his men torturing you all. It kills me and all I can do is give my body to him,” Eddie’s voice broke as he spoke. “Do you know what he was going to do to Freya? He was going to gouge out her other eye, but I gave myself again to him, to protect her. You can’t possibly understand how it feels to be worthless!”
Thea flinched. She felt the warm tears running down her cheeks and stinging the spot that Eddie had smacked.
“You don’t know how much I want it all to go away, how much I want it all to stop! So, don’t give me no bullshit because you don’t know the whole story.”
There was silence between the two, except for Eddie’s rapid breathing. “I . . .” Thea started but as the tears began to pour out even faster, she found no other words coming out and did the only thing she could.
She ran.
Chapter Thirty
Thea’s legs ached, but she forced herself to continue to trudge through the snow, leaving Eddie behind calling out for her. Thea hadn’t meant to lose control as she did, nor did she intend to run off into the night. She didn’t even realize where she was going at first. Thea knew where she was going — where her heart wanted to go, but didn’t, because Thea didn’t want to leave anyone behind.
Jiran, I should have left when I had the chance. Please take me in. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to survive on my own. She pleaded and cried to herself as the tears welled in her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to sit down at a table, eat a healthy meal, and then on regular days they would visit the Citadel. Thea cracked a grin as she thought of Kilua, that maybe she would even accept his proposal. Anything was better than what she was going through right now.
Thea came to a slow stop to catch her breath. She could see the center of Kingsland; she would need to leave out of the tight corners of the alley. A bell rang in the distance and she saw smoke rising in the sky and an orange glow in the distance.
Thea sprinted into the center of Kingsland and ran through the markets to Jiran’s. Thea hoped and prayed that it was only a bonfire celebration or even a small freak accident, but when Thea saw a crowd of people surrounding Jiran’s house and Kingsland Guards trying to put out the fire—Thea knew that her worse nightmares were coming true as she recalled the vision she had of the burning building.
“JIRAN!” Thea let out a blood-curdling scream that echoed throughout the square. The searing and gut-wrenching pain ripped through her chest, which made her throat burn and constrict, making it harder to breathe.
She raced toward the burning building as the dark orange flames encased the entire roof and began to spew out a fire at anyone who got closer. Thea, however, didn’t care as she rushed into the raging fire, ignoring the burning bites that attacked her skin. She stood in the middle of the building and panicked.
The flames intensified and continued to spread across the windows and the walls, chipping away at the paint. Anything that was flammable from chairs, to picture frames were instantly engulfed and perished to ashen black tar. Debris fell and broken pieces of the house scattered across the floor. Thea stared at the destruction, immobilized with fear. She was suddenly racked with sputtering coughs as she hacked relentlessly, her eyes began to bleed with tears as she covered her mouth.
“Jiran!” she shouted at the top of her lungs. The smoke and heat intensified as did her coughing spells; her lungs burned as they screamed for oxygen. She felt a sudden weightlessness pullover, making her lose her balance until she heard ragged coughing making her snap out of her oxygen-deprived stupor.
“Jiran!” she cried. Thea rushed over to a pile of debris where she saw a hand sticking out. She flinched as the reminder of her vision played in the back of her head. “Don’t worry, I’m going to get you out.”
She removed piles of wood and stone, tossed them aside and coughed several times into her sleeve. Thea knew that if she didn’t hurry there wouldn’t be any time left for either of them to make it out alive.
Just hold on, Jiran. Please hold on, she pleaded as the tears rolled out of her eyes but dried from the intensity of the heat. She moved another layer of debris and she could see his face, covered in soot.
“Thea, what are you doing here?” Jiran wheezed. The debris had fallen on top of him, slamming him into the ground and damaging his rib c
age and spinal cord making it impossible for him to move.
Thea sniffed and wiped her tear-stained cheeks, leaving a fair amount of soot on her sleeve.
“Stupid, I’m saving you soot-face. Y-You can’t adopt me if you aren’t alive. You have to be alive to take care of me,” Thea said, breaking into fresh tears. She had not planned on making a scene but from all the pent of frustration, anger, and demoralization she had gone through it came out automatically.
“I-I should have come with you when you asked me to.”
Jiran managed to smile. He slowly stretched his free hand out. He wrinkled his brow from the strenuous pain but still managed to brush the tip of his fingers on her cheeks. Thea sniffed and grabbed his hand, resting her cheek on it.
“That’s neither here nor there, Thea. You can’t stay here, you’ll die.”
Thea’s lip quivered as she bit her lip. “Then, you can’t either, or you’ll die!”
Jiran snorted. “To think this is how I would die, I always expected I would die on a Tuesday morning drinking a bottle of aged liquor from Pania, they do have the best liquor despite their shitty government system.”
“You shouldn’t be joking like you’re going to die, old man,” Thea said, though she couldn’t help but have a shaky grin as he started to chuckle. It caused him, however, to wheeze and cough with pain, wrinkling his forehead and closing his eyes tightly.
There was a crash from the kitchen doorway that blocked off the entrance, making Thea jump and screamed. The orange flames started to grow narrower, and it wouldn’t be long before they engulfed Thea and Jiran.
“Thea,” Jiran wheezed, pulling Thea away from the intensity of the flames. She looked at him with wide and fearful blood-red eyes, sweat pouring off her soot-covered face. Jiran saw that she was heaving heavily and knew that her tiny body had a few seconds before her lungs collapsed. He knew that his time would end soon, but not now; it made him find Grégori’s last words to him almost comical. “Under the floorboards is a golden box, take it, and you’ll know what to do when it’s time.”