by T R Tells
"The demon chose you because of your magic and your willpower. The magic in you is strong, it is obvious, I sensed it the moment you washed up on the shore," Gaius-Sey said. Thea noticed that the glow in his amber eyes wasn't as diluted as before. "But while you may be strong, you are also weak, and naïve. You let your emotions take you by the reigns and that is what makes it easier for a demon to take control of you. That is the kind of vessel that Fenris wants, an able-body soul that he can control."
“Then tell me how to fix it because I don’t want anything to happen to my friends and family. They are the only ones I have and if something happens to them I—”
"Quiet," Gaius-Sey said, he reached his pointer to his lips to shush Thea. "You're doing it again. You may have control over your mundanity, but you are subconsciously doubtful, and with that, you will always succumb to darkness."
“I’m only mundane,” Thea blurted out without thinking. “Is that so wrong?”
“No, of course not, but it is when you’re putting everything at risk. You must learn to harness the energy in your mind, body, and spirit to surround yourself in cosmic energy. It will reduce negativity and aid you in healing to create harmony within your life.”
Gaius-Sey held out his hands after he finished speaking. Thea looked down at his hands and saw a flick of her image. She furrowed her brows and looked closer at his hands where she saw several gold lines swirling around his hands.
“Those lines, what are they?”
"These are called Vectors. There are Vectors that seek out negativity and Vectors that seek out positivity. We need both survive, but too much negativity can descend us into madness. If there is negativity constantly, the Vector Fragments will feed off from it; it will usually look like a golden cord if the individual lakes control. For us to sustain health and positivity, our Vectors Linings must align and feed on good, magic, life energy."
Vector Fragments? Linings? Being around Maggie, she felt good, when she was with Jiran she wanted to forget every bad thing that happened to her. When she thought about Dominya a light, and airy feeling overtook her. Even when she visited the Citadel or to The Twilight Vale of Audalis there was something in the air that made her feel electrified and when she thought of Kadda, her sweet and innocent daughter.
“What are you thinking about right now?” Gaius-Sey asked her. While it was unconventional for him to guide someone during their training, he wanted to make sure that Thea received the proper training this time.
“My family,” Thea answered. “And how much they mean to me.”
"Remember, don't think about what would happen if they weren't there. While it is a mundane notion, it is one that hides as doubt. Never doubt yourself because then you doubt who you are as a Roma, as a person. You can channel your Vectors by absorbing the energy around you with your magic and meditating. Try closing your eyes and thinking of positive energy."
Thea didn’t say anything. She just sat there, eyes closed, and thought about her family, herself, and who she was before all of this.
"I was quiet . . . I liked to sew because Dominya told me our mother used to do it all the time. I wanted something she did to feel close to her."
Slowly a gold cord, invisible to the naked eye, sprouted from Thea's body. Gaius-Sey watched as tendrils of Vector Linings started to appear from her body one after the other and spread out just a foot from her back. The more positivity or negativity one possessed, the longer the Vectors.
“What else?”
“I . . . I like to play in the field and pick flowers, farming is what I really loved doing. I even tried teaching Maggie and Freya to plant flowers once."
Another Vector Lining sprouted, and the gold cord extended another foot.
“There was one time, I made Maggie laugh so hard, she had water gushing from her nose,” Thea said, and a giggle escaped her lips as her lips stretched into a broad grin. “When Freya wasn’t mad at me . . . She asked me to read to her because she never got a chance to learn.”
As the memories slowly absorbed into Thea's mind, she suddenly realized how many good ones there were that were shadowed in the darkness. The tears that she had been holding back slowly fell down her cheeks and under her chin.
"And Jiran . . . He would be okay with cursing in front of me and he saw good in me . . ."
The feeling of warm, rough hands touched Thea's, and she opened her eyes to see Gaius-Sey held them. "Keep your eyes closed." Thea obliged and closed her eyes again. She felt Gaius-Sey turn her palms upward.
“Focus, Thea. Focus on Gaius-Sey’s voice and those memories. Let your Vectors feed on your memories, it will help you conquer the darkness and the voices.”
Thea licked her lips. “Will it hurt?”
Gaius-Sey smiled, somehow Thea could feel that. “Only if you allow it. Now . . . Focus.”
As if by some sheer force, Thea felt her chest lurch forward as a powerful essence punched her in the gut, making her gasp. She forced her eyes to open but didn’t find herself on the waterfall, but on the inside of an empty room filled with fog.
“Where . . . Am I?” Thea said, though her mouth didn’t move. She was speaking telepathically.
“You are in the Roma State.”
Thea spun around trying to figure out who the disembodied voice was and where it was coming from.
“Who said that!”
“We did,” as soon as the voice said it, Ansem appeared out of thin air.
"Don't you recognize us?" Kii replied and stood next to her brother. "It has always been hard to get in contact with you because the darkness and negativity continued to block us out."
“How are you contacting me now?” Thea asked confused by the empty space she was in.
“Theoretically, inside your head,” Ansem told her. “This distorted, foggy room is your thoughts, but you can fix it through the Roma’s restoration powers, what is known as Roma Stasis. It is a state of mind that combines peace, love, and joy.”
Thea looked around at the empty room. There was no ceiling or roof only endless blue fog that seemed to go on for miles.
“It’s kind of . . . Depressing in here,” Thea admitted to herself.
"That's because with years of trauma, Thea, this is what the shadows and negativity can do to a Magi, Kobold, and a mundane. Darkness kills and if you want to fight against it, you need to become stronger or else you’ll find yourself being once again used by the darkness."
“I know. I won’t pretend like I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m scared because I don’t want to make a mistake and go dark again.”
Ansem chuckled. "Well, you won't go dark and you should never be afraid to be afraid."
“Ansem is right,” Kii said. “Fear is what makes people mundane, so is doubt, but it’s within moderation that matters. We won’t let our father win, and have you fall into corruption.”
“And even if you do, we’ll be there to pull you out of it. He won’t get a chance to use you for his nefarious deeds.”
Thea smirked. Hel, Flint, the voices . . . You're all wrong. I am not worthless. I am not nothing. I won't run, not anymore. I don't want to hide from the darkness.
Part six
Chapter Fifty-One
Month of Leaffall, Year 668 of Ya’skr
One year had passed since Thea entered into Roma Stasis. She was no longer a young girl of seventeen, but a young adult going into her eighteenth year. Thea was speechless when she heard the news, she didn't understand anything that had happened. It had only seemed like she was gone for just a few moments, not for the entirety of the year.
Gaius-Sey and Kalevus stood in the infirmary room with her. She was wearing a white gown and there were several markings on her arm that seemed strange to her. She reached out to touch the marks, they were faded into her skin, but dark enough for her to see it clearly.
"Those are called Runes. It is another type of magic for us. That particular rune sustained your food intake while you were in a comatose state."
"Why didn't anyone wake me?" Her voice came out dry and cracked. She grabbed her throat, in sheer panic.
“Here, drink,” Gaius-Sey said to her and handed her a goblet of water. Thea readily took it and brought the cup to her lips. Gaius-Sey could see the struggle she had while she drank. “Your body is fairly weak and susceptible to the energy around you.”
Thea parted her lips from the cup and handed the cup back. She cleared her throat, hoping that she would be able to speak correctly.
"I ask again," she said, her voice, unfortunately, was still hoarse. "Why did you not wake me? What possible thought could possess you to keep me this way!"
While Thea wanted to shout at them, her voice came out barely as a whisper.
Gaius-Sey spoke again, “If we were to wake you during Roma Stasis, your mind could have been lost forever, you could have been killed, or worse. You could have been trapped in your mind for an eternity.”
Thea shook her head. “Then, why did you make me go through it in the first place! I could have lived without the psychedelic trip into my mind.”
This time, it was Kalevus who spoke. Thea turned to look at him. There was a severe look in his eyes as if to warn her not to get angry with him.
“It was necessary. Without you going through the Roma Stasis, you would not have been in tune with your powers, your Vectors, and you certainly wouldn’t have been able to push away the demon lurking inside of you.”
There was an annoyance in Kalevus' features. It was brief, but it was just that little bit that made him look more dangerous than he let out. However, Thea didn't care. She had missed out on a year. What happened to Dominya? Was Middilgard destroyed? What about Maggie, Freya, and all the girls in the Meretrix – What about Kadda? Did she still remember me as her mother?
The tears broke free from Thea's eyes and she found herself weeping into her hands. While Thea's throat burned like wildfire, her sobs were quiet and tamed because of the loss of her voice. Neither Kalevus nor Gaius-Sey interrupted until she was finished.
When Thea stopped crying, her entire face was red, and her cheeks were stained with tears. Her nose was covered with snot that Thea tried to wipe with her arm, but only made it worse.
“I did not want it to come to this. I didn’t even think that the Roma Stasis would have taken over your body for so long.” Kalevus sighed and explained, apologetically.
“It was only trying to heal what had been damaged for so long. The dark demons harboring in you Thea would have been enough to make you go dark,” Gaius-Sey explained. Thea couldn’t believe what she was hearing, she didn’t have any questions, except for two.
"Then, what do you see?" Thea asked, Gaius-Sey, explicitly speaking about her Vectors and if anything was lingering within her.
“You will have to determine and see if you can truly negate the darkness from enclosing around you.”
Thea didn’t say anything. Whether he saw her Vector Fragments or Linings, he wasn’t going to tell her anything.
“Am I allowed to leave for Middilgard?”
Kalevus didn’t say anything for a moment. Her body would need to recuperate after carving away years of damage. Once a person underwent Roma Stasis, they were cleansed of their negativity, but negativity would have also had a higher chance or invading a purified soul. However, Kalevus knew that nothing would be able to stop Thea until she was back home. “In two days’ time, you will be allowed to leave. We want to make sure that you are stable enough to endure the ride.”
“Fine.”
***
"How will I know what path to take?"
Thea was on the outskirts of the port, with the Roma and Gaius-Sey. "I don't know how to sail."
"Listen to your instincts, Thea, we Roma are travelers by nature and have an innate ability to know where to go," Geius-Sey instructed her. Thea didn't know about that. If she could pinpoint the direction to go in life, she wouldn't have been faced with such terrible predicaments.
“Thank you, I guess,” she looked around, looking for King Kalevus. “Did King Kalevus not wish to see me off? Or, have I offended him?”
Gaius-Sey smirked. “On the contrary, he is preparing.”
"Preparing for what?" Thea thought before she caught on to what she meant. The Great Battle. The third day of Bifrost. The vision still lingered at the back of Thea's mind. She could still picture the red sky and the lightning ripping through the air. Even as only an image, the atmosphere made Thea tense and a nervous stir centered in her gut.
“Every king needs a battle strategy. When that day comes, we’ll be ready, I pray that you shall as well.”
The crystal was a heavy reminder of what she had been told to do— whatever that was supposed to be. She still didn't know what she had to do; all she knew was to go to the other side of the Equinox barrier when it was time.
But when would be a right time?
Was that not the reason for clearing her mind and entering Roma Stasis. The conversation with Ansem and Kii had been brief, despite her being in a state for one year. They told her that she should be wary of her surroundings when she headed back to Kingsland. She was newly out of her Roma Stasis and even though she was washed away from the sin that had purged her soul for eight years, it just left her susceptible to demons and possessions. That meant Hel, and the voices could come back at any time to take over her and she didn't know if she would have the strength to fight them off again.
She looked down at her hand, hoping to see the fragmented gold lines that she had seen often during her childhood years, but had never known the name. What if she resorted back to the way she was or accepted negativity like before?
What am I saying? I have to have the strength. People are counting on me.
“Thank you for your wisdom and teachings, Gaius-Sey,” Thea said, and she boarded onto the medium-sized boat that had been packed with food and supplies for her trip. “May the Azure Reach guide us.”
“Let it be so.”
A week of travel was the length of time it took from Audalis to Middilgard. She preoccupied her time with meditating and chanting.
She was able to channel and block out the negative energy that would try to intercept her thoughts. Other days and nights, she would think about her daughter and how she was doing. She would be four years old and Thea had grown another year last Winter's Eve. A perpetual sadness clung to Thea, making her take sharp intakes of breath.
What if Kadda doesn’t remember me?
Even if she was with Maggie and she knew she was safe, the thought of her child forgetting about her existence hurt Thea more than life itself.
I can’t think that way, I can’t. I have to stay positive.
She closed her eyes to concentrate and began to chant, a low, baseless hum for the duration of the ride.
When the boat had made it across Isle Waters, Thea saw Middilgard’s port in the distance. Thea paid the boatman and a stable hand with the little coin she still had with her.
The wind picked up when Thea boarded inside of the wagon, letting her know that Leaffall would make its home for several months. The carriage pulled off from the port and automatically two paths came into view after a mile. One would lead her to Kingsland and the other would lead her to Twinleaf village. It had seemed like years ago since she had last called that place home.
“Coming to visit?”
Thea pulled her attention away from the pathway and toward the stable hand. He was middle age man with bleached blonde hair in a wild heap.
“Uh, no, I’m returning home after visiting a friend in Wrenada,” Thea lied, with a broad smile upon her lips. She tightly held onto a duffel bag that had been on the boat.
“Ah, Vizerath is a beautiful country. I think the Princess went there for a marriage agreement. While I do feel like it would be a great opportunity, Vizerath and Otto are known for th
eir blacksmith and weapons, they’re a country have a rich history, but a tragic history, nonetheless. Did you know that Vizerath and Otto used to be slave countries?”
This was new information to Thea, but while she didn’t care too much to learn about the past, she listened to the man anyway.
“No, I didn’t. How did that end?”
"A slave revolt in the year 426, that was right around the time of the Ire Scourge when the late Amos Monticrox lost control to the slaves. They broke free and twenty years later this group known as the Sons of Samuel started making headlines.” At the sound of the name, Thea was alert. What had the Sons of Samuel been doing almost two hundred years ago? “I mean, the government is still a centralized totalism, and King Peregrine isn’t the best leader, hell his sons aren’t too kind either, but they’ve tried their best to—”
“What do you know about the slave revolt?” Thea interrupted the man. She stood on her feet now, grabbing onto the railing where the man stood. He turned to look at her with his dark brown eyes staring at her with confusion. “Is there a specific person or thing that was mentioned?”
"You mean who led the revolt? Kid, I don't know, these are histories that have been told and passed down for two hundred years. It could have been anyone, there wasn't really a specific person, you know how things get spread around, and people start joining. No one really knows the central root to it."
After a while, Thea went back to her seat and sat down again. She hadn't meant to get jumpy, but anything that had something to do with the Sons of Samuel or Fenris made a chill run up the length of her spine. Incidentally, the mark on her neck burned and she consciously rubbed it, disturbed that she knew its true meaning.
“Are you alright?” The man asked her. He looked out the corner of his eye for a moment before looking back at the road.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Are we almost—" Thea stopped mid-sentence when she saw Kingsland's walls in the distance. She took a deep unconscious breath. I’m coming home, Kadda.