by Jessica Marx
We continue to talk and joke with each other as we finish our drinks and I get my shift work done. There are no more patrons left, just us and Sam and a couple of other employees who are getting ready to leave. Jayson excuses himself and goes to the men’s room. Sam walks over to my side of the bar.
“You look like you’re having fun,” he says.
“I think I am.” That reply surprises even me.
Jayson is striding back to the bar, so Sam goes about cleaning the last of the mess that’s left. I slide my glass to him so he can rinse it and be done. We toss the beer bottle in the recycling bin and I say goodnight to the few coworkers left. Jayson and I head to the door and exit into another beautiful summer night.
“Okay, well, thanks for coming to see me,” I say. It’s always awkward trying to end a night around this guy. I know he wants more.
“You know I’m walking you home, Ashley, so don’t think of trying to ditch me now. It’s not going to work,” Jayson answers, and without any debate, we start walking toward my apartment building.
“So, when are we going out?” I ask. It sounds a little pushy or desperate, or something, but I’m excited—so sue me.
“I can make myself available any night this week. One of the benefits of being the boss,” he answers and winks at me.
“Well, unfortunately I don’t, so it would have to be Thursday or Saturday night. I have classes during the day and usually work Saturday nights, but this coming one I’m on the lunch shift.”
“I don’t think I can wait that long. It will have to be Thursday, if that’s the best you can do.” He’s teasing me. It’s equal parts infuriating and hot as hell.
“It is the best I can do. You’ll just have to be patient, I guess.” What I don’t tell him is that I’m looking forward to it, and that means that I’ll have to be patient, too.
We are back in front of my building and I envision the night before when Jayson and I kissed, right here in this very spot. My heart skips a beat, but I need to ignore it for now. We have a date and I will wait and see how that night goes before I get any more involved in this strange thing we have going on.
Jayson turns to face me and I know he is going to kiss me again. He smiles at me as his bright hazel eyes glow in the moonlight.
“Have a goodnight, Ashley. I can’t wait to see you again.” He leans over and kisses me gently on the cheek. “Now, go inside so I know I got you home safe.” Then he steps back, gives me a mock salute, and stands and watches as I walk to my lobby in a daze.
That was definitely not the kiss I was expecting. I look back at him before I open the door and he is still standing there, waiting for me to enter. I go in, say hi to the doorman, and press the button for the elevator. Dammit, he really knows how to play the game.
Maybe even better than I do.
10
JAYSON
* * *
This woman may be the death of me. I need to have her, and I am going to do whatever it takes to prove to her that how I feel runs deeper than it has with any woman before her.
Ashley’s right—I’m a player. I always have been and thought I always would be—until I met her. When I’m with her, I don’t even think about other women. I don’t need to, and I don’t want to. I see chicks looking at me as I pass them by, checking out my body, offering themselves to me with their eyes. I just don’t care anymore. I only want Ashley. I need her to see that and I need her to believe me when I tell her she’s the only one for me.
When we kissed in front of her building last night, I felt something that I’ve never felt with anyone—and never from just a kiss. Just feeling her up against my body was enough to drive me wild. I wanted her. I wanted to be inside of her. But I also respected her enough to hold back. I don’t mind taking my time. She is worth it.
Seeing her at work tonight, dressed in her uniform with no makeup on, plain as could be, made her so much more real to me. Sitting at the bar and laughing together about nothing just felt right. She makes me feel like I can be myself. I can joke and be inappropriate and she just gets it. She gets me. She may not want to, but she does.
I have always thought things like “love at first sight” or “meant to be” were complete bullshit, but now I feel differently. I care about Ashley and I want her to care about me. I want to know everything about her and make her happy in every way.
These feelings are new and scary and completely out of character for me—but they are real. I’m going to show her just how real on Thursday. I’m going to do all the things I told her I would, and then some. I will wait as long as she wants, but as soon as she gives me the okay, I am going to rock her fucking world.
11
ASHLEY
* * *
This week is dragging on. Thursday seems to take forever to get here. I have already filled Rachel in on what’s happening. She still thinks I’m crazy, but she also believes that if I really feel this deeply for Jayson, then it’s worth a shot. She swears she won’t be there to pick up the pieces if and when I fall apart, but I take comfort knowing she will anyway.
Michael has left me two voicemails filled with apologies. His last said he wished he could explain, but if I don’t call him back, he’ll take the hint. I hope so, because I have no intention of returning his call. There is nothing left to talk about and I don’t need an explanation.
I also spoke briefly with my mother again to try and plan a lunch date. She suggested one afternoon next week, which sounds be perfect. I told her I will let her know when I get my shift schedule and we will plan a date. I also promised I would come see her the following week. I’m happy about it, too. I miss spending time with her. It’s even better now that she is happy with Tom and in a much better place in her life.
I trudge through the next couple of days, going about my business and my regular routine. I feel like a teenager in love. I can’t stop going through scenarios in my head and imagining what my date with Jayson will be like. I already know what it’s like to kiss him, and that alone has my interest piqued. The heat between us is like nothing I’ve ever experienced, and I want more.
Part of me is trying not to accept these feelings because I know it’s wrong. I shouldn’t feel this way about him, given what the future may hold for our parents, but I can’t stop myself. I just feel like we belong together, and I hope we can work it out. I know every woman thinks she will be the one to get the womanizing seducer to settle down, but I truly believe Jayson and I have something special.
I can barely concentrate during my class on Wednesday because I just want it to be over already. At least I only have one class to worry about in the summer. That night while I’m at work, I am literally counting the hours until closing. I want this day over so I can see Jayson. Almost every time the door has opened this week I looked up, hoping it was him, but true to his word he has successfully stayed away. I’m almost disappointed.
I take a break to eat a quick bite and pull out my phone to waste some time as I do. Less than a minute later, my phone vibrates with a text from a number I don’t recognize. Can’t wait to see you again. I start to dismiss it, but then out of curiosity, I decide to answer back.
Who is this?
Seriously, Ashley? How many men do you have waiting to see you again? I thought I was the player? I laugh out loud at that. I think Jayson’s sense of humor is as sexy to me as his body.
Just checking. Looking forward to seeing you too, I write back. It’s a massive understatement.
Bello Giardino at 7, he replies and adds the address.
I program his number into my phone so I know for next time, finish my salad, and bring the plate into the kitchen. This night cannot end soon enough.
* * *
____________
When I wake up on Thursday morning, I almost jump out of bed. I am in a great mood and find myself humming as I brew a pot of coffee. I take my time drinking it while I carelessly flip through a magazine. My thoughts are only on tonight and Jayson. I think the
anticipation of waiting these last few days has made it that much more exciting for me.
I throw on some clothes and go to the supermarket to pick up a few staples since I’m almost out of everything. On my way back to my apartment, I stop in one of the cute little boutique shops I love. I see a flirty little summer dress that I know would be perfect for tonight. I try it on and decide it’s pretty enough to splurge on.
I smile the whole way home and continue to as I put my groceries away. I clean up my apartment just in case I decide to invite Jayson up. Not that that’s the plan, or anything, but still. If it happens, I want to be prepared.
I still have time left to waste, so I give Rachel a call. I’m not sure if she has a class this afternoon, but if she’s busy I’ll just leave her a message. She picks up and cheerily says, “Hey, Ash!”
“Hey, Rach. What’s going on?”
“Not much. Left the studio a little while ago and I’m just running some errands. You’re not working today?”
“No, I’m off. Going to dinner with Jayson,” I answer trying to sound casual about it.
“Oh! That’s right. The date with your boyfriend slash soon-to-be brother.” No matter what happens with Jayson, or my mother’s relationship, Rachel will always love calling him that. I know her.
“You’re never going to let that joke go, are you?”
She laughs. “No. Definitely not.”
“I’m actually really excited. I like him. He makes me laugh.” I can’t help but smile as I think of him.
“Just be careful. That’s all I’m saying. He’s a skirt-chaser—you know the type. Make sure he’s for real before you give him your flower.” The way she says it makes me giggle.
“My flower? Who are you, my grandmother?”
“Just keeping it light. Anyway, I have to get going, I’m next up at the register. You better call me in the morning and let me know what happens tonight.”
“Of course I will. Have a good night, Rachel,” I reply.
“You too,” she says and I end the call.
I decide to shower now so I can take my time and not have to rush around to get ready. I shower and shave then brush my hair and pull it back in a clip. I decide “just in case” to put on my red lace bra and panties. I always feel sexier and more confident when I have something like that under my clothes.
I slip my new sundress on look in the mirror, impressed with how good I look. I pat myself on the back for a job well done and by six o’clock, I’m putting on my makeup.
My door buzzer goes off unexpectedly right around six thirty. I walk to the intercom and press the button “Who is it?”
“The man you’ve been fantasizing about all week,” Jayson answers.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. I’m not mentally prepared to see him yet and he’s caught me off guard.
“Coming to get you, of course. You didn’t think I’d make you come all by yourself?” I swear I hear him exaggerate the word “come” but then wonder if it’s just my imagination.
“I… I wasn’t expecting you,” I stammer. “I’ll be down in a minute.”
I hurry back over to the mirror and put on some lipstick. I look myself over and straighten my skirt out. I’ve been anticipating this night, but now that it’s here, I am very nervous.
I take my purse and keys and close the door behind me. I push the button and notice my palms are sweaty as I wait for the elevator. What is wrong with me? It’s just a date and we’ve already kissed.
The elevator doors open and I step in, adjusting my dress, fussing with my purse, and fidgeting the whole way down. When I reach the lobby and get out I see Jayson from behind. He’s looking out the front doors and doesn’t notice me right away. I start walking toward him and the sound of my heels makes him turn around.
“Wow. You look stunning,” he says. His jaw is practically on the floor.
“Thanks. You look pretty good, too,” I tease. He looks ridiculously handsome. He’s in a steel gray, fitted button-down shirt and jeans that are snug in all the right places. His eyes are accentuated by the color of his shirt and I start to imagine what his body looks like underneath.
“Well, let’s get this date started, then.” He opens the doors and gestures for me to go ahead. “Ladies first.”
I smile. “You’re such a gentleman.”
“I just love watching you from behind,” he quips. This is going to be an interesting evening.
I see a black town car out front. Jayson steps ahead and opens the back door for me. I usually walk or take a cab, so this is a step up from the norm.
I get in and slide across the seat to make room for him. He gets in, closes the door, and makes himself comfortable next to me. Jayson’s close enough that we’re almost touching and I find myself getting aroused. He smells incredible and he looks amazing. I don’t know how I can give him a fair chance when he looks so fucking hot. I want to say he’s playing dirty, but since I bought a special dress and I’m wearing skimpy lace bra and panties, I guess I’ve evened the playing field.
We have light conversation but barely look at each other the whole way there. I know that I can’t look at him for fear that the second I look into those wolfish eyes I am going to give in to all of my desires. I’m pretty sure he feels the same way about me. We are both trying to play it cool. I can’t wait to have a table between us so I can relax a little bit.
We get to the restaurant in no time and there is a quaint corner table waiting for us. The waiter escorts us there and pulls out my chair for me. I take a seat and Jayson situates himself on the other side. Before the waiter walks away, he asks if we would like a drink. Without hesitation, Jayson orders a bottle of merlot he must like because he knows the name without looking at the wine list. I pick up my menu and pretend to be very interested in it until the waiter comes back with the bottle.
He shows the bottle to Jayson, uncorks it, and pours a little in his glass to taste. Jayson swirls the glass and takes a sip. He gives the waiter a nod and he fills both of our glasses and walks away since we’re not ready to order yet.
“Cheers to the most beautiful woman at this table,” he says, holding his glass up.
“Only at the table, huh? That’s not going to get you too many points in my book,” I laugh and clink his glass. We each take a sip.
“I didn’t know you were keeping score. I’ll have to try harder. I don’t like to lose,” Jayson says and then picks up his menu and takes a brief look. The waiter comes back to take our order. We let him know our choices and then he takes our menus and walks away again leaving us alone. He also left me without a menu to hide behind.
We start talking about nothing at first and I loosen up a little. Maybe it’s the conversation, maybe it’s the wine—maybe it’s a little of both. Regardless, the conversation is flowing freely and we’re getting along great. We reveal a lot about our pasts and our families, and on top of everything else, I’m surprised Jayson is actually pretty smart, too.
“So, what do you think will happen with your father and my mother?” I ask him as we take our time eating our entrees.
“I’m not sure. They seem to be in love, but they’ve both been through a lot. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Maybe we should agree not to let their lives influence ours. That way, no matter what develops, we can still fuck if we want.” He smirks, sounding like his old self again.
I almost spit my drink out. We’ve been so lost in real life conversations that I forgot for a minute who I was dealing with.
“We could, I suppose. But we don’t fuck anyway, so it doesn’t really make a difference. If we did, though, and they stayed together, we could potentially be breaking laws or moral codes, or something. You could be my stepbrother and that would just be wrong on too many levels.
“Then again,” I muse, “if they broke up and we were still together, it would be awkward for everyone. I guess it’s a lose-lose situation. Maybe we should end it now before it begins.” I’m acting ambivalent, but
I kind of mean it. Saying all of those things out loud makes me think this is a bad idea. How did I let it get this far?
Jayson looks right into my eyes and says, “It’s too late, Ashley. It’s already begun.” He swallows the last of his wine. “Like I said, their relationship can’t and won’t affect ours. We’re all adults, and whatever we choose to do, they’ll have to live with.”
The waiter walks over to clear our plates and asks if we would like anything else. Jayson orders a crème brûlée and two after dinner drinks. We are both quiet for a moment and then he lightens the mood again.
“What’s with the dress?”
“What do you mean?” I respond, looking down at myself.
“You say you think it would be wrong if we were together, but you wear that on our date?” He gestures. “Come to think of it, why did you agree to go on a date with me in the first place if you don’t think we should even be trying to make this work?”
Shit. He’s right. I am giving off mixed signals.
“I don’t know. I really don’t. It’s possible we could have something good together, but I’m also afraid it will end badly. You’re much older than anyone I’ve ever even considered dating. And you being a total player until what, last week? And then our parents…” I trail off. “I feel like you’re being sincere with me, but that could just be me wanting you to be.”
“Why don’t you just let things happen and stop thinking so much?” he asks with a shrug. And suddenly I realize he’s right. Our parents, our friends—everyone is going to have an opinion, regardless of the situation. Maybe I should stop thinking and just follow my heart.
“I think that’s exactly what I need to do,” I say with conviction. I pick up my glass and hold it up. “Here’s to whatever the future holds.” He clinks his glass against mine and smiles.