by Jessica Marx
“Anyone hungry?” I ask. “I was going to run out and pick up some food.” They all think food and coffee is a great idea. I get my jacket and purse and start to leave.
“I’ll come with you,” Tony offers. “I could use some fresh air—and a break.”
“Sure,” I reply hesitantly. I hope my father doesn’t “accidentally” strangle Ryan while we’re gone, or worse, give him some kind of “man to man” talk. It’s not Ryan’s fault we’re moving in together. This whole thing was my idea.”
Tony just laughed as we quickly made our way outside. We didn’t have to go far, since there are several delis and convenience stores just up the block.
“Thanks for getting me out of there for a few,” Tony says, breaking the silence. “You can cut the tension with a knife.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” I reply. “I didn’t know dad would have such strong feelings about me and Ryan living together. He seemed pretty cool with it when I told him last week.”
“That was then, this is now,” Tony says as we enter the deli. “Now it’s real.” He grabs some chips off a shelf. “I’m sure he’s noticed the chemistry between you two in the past, so this is a lot to swallow.”
“Why does everyone seem to think there is something going on? Are Ryan and I the only ones who aren’t in on this secret romance people think we have going on?”
“Hey, I’m just saying. You two have always been close,” Tony says, laughing.
“There is no chemistry between us,” I answer defensively. “Just because a man and woman get along and enjoy each other’s company doesn’t mean they have to make it sexual.”
“No, but it usually does,” Tony replies with a shrug. “Just saying. It’s not like you’re actually related, you know.”
“Whatever,” I sigh. “Let’s just forget it and order some sandwiches.”
Tony and I pay for our food and carry back the bags and a tray of coffees to the apartment. We forget our discussion from the deli and instead talk about all the fun times we will have together now that Ryan and I are here amongst our friends.
We arrive back at the apartment just a short while later. Ryan and my father aren’t talking and laughing, but they are still here, so that’s a plus. I can only imagine what was said while we were out, and honestly, I don’t think I want to know.
We all sit down around the small kitchen table. Ryan brought it to the apartment along with his couch and coffee table. I was thankful to have at least the basics.
I try to make some conversation as we eat, but as the only woman in the room, I seem to be the only one that feels the need to talk. We talk somewhat while we finish our lunch, and then get back to work. The paint is definitely not dry, but my stepfather is determined to get the second coat on so he can go out and get a door to finish the job.
Even with the windows open and the chill in the air outside, the heat in the building is pumping and it is warm in here. We have the fan on trying to get the paint smell out, and I have stripped down to my tank top to clean the bathroom. I almost sucked it up and kept my sweatshirt on for my stepfather’s sake, but I can’t bear the heat anymore.
When the second coat of paint is complete, my father announces he is going to find a door. Ryan asks him to pick up a couple of random things while he is out. I half expect him to come back with a steel door and a deadbolt.
After Dad leaves, Ryan pulls me aside. We are standing in the tiny kitchen together leaning against opposite counters, but still so close. I’m glad he at least has a shirt on now. I didn’t like the feeling I got looking at him without it earlier.
“Just so you know, I don’t think dad is into the idea of us living together,” Ryan smirks.
“I hope he wasn’t too hard on you,” I say.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” he replies. “I understand where he’s coming from, but everything is going to be fine. I’m not sure if he believes me, but he’ll see soon enough.”
“I know. Everyone thinks this is a bad idea. I just don’t think they get it.”
“Well, haters gonna hate, as they say,” Ryan replies. “Maybe they’re just jealous—I mean, look at us,” he says with a goofy smile.
“True. You’re probably right. I’m just glad it’s happening. I can’t believe this is our home now,” I add with wide eyes.
“Hell, yes! High-five, sister!” Ryan jokes, holding his hand up. I give him a lame high-five and laugh. The door buzzer rings and we look at each other. “Our first visitor!” I say excitedly and rush to the door to see who it is. I depress the button to ask who’s here. It’s the mattress delivery, so I buzz them up.
By the time the two men make it up to the third floor, they are sweating. We let them in and show them where to put it, and I give them a tip for walking up all the stairs. Tony decides to leave, since most of the hard work is finished anyway. We both thank him and he walks out with the delivery men.
The cleaning is done and the wall is drying, so we begin to unpack. I brought a bunch of milk crates to use as a temporary dresser, so I set them up and take out some of my things. I look in Ryan’s room and he is pretty much set up. His clothes are already hanging in the closet and the few things he has for decoration are out. The bed isn’t made, but I’m not sure it ever will be....
“Nice,” I comment as I look around, “Chicks are gonna dig this place.”
“I know, right? Although I’m not sure they’ll be interested in my bedroom décor,” he answers raising his eyebrows. “How’s yours looking?”
“Pretty blah right now. Bare mattress and milk crates,” I tell him, “Want to take a look?”
“Sure.”
We only need to take a few steps to get from his room to mine. The living room is tiny, now that we made half of it into my bedroom. I guess we won’t be doing much entertaining in here.
Ryan whistles as he walks through the doorway. “Damn. Looks pretty sweet, Eve,” he says sarcastically and then sits on the bare mattress. I take a seat next to him.
“It’s not much, but it will be one day,” I tell him with a smile. “This is only the beginning.”
“I hope so,” Ryan says, staring into space. “Part of me would love to make it big, one day, but I’m not so sure that’s what I really want. I like the life I have now—it’s fun and low-key. Sometimes I think being in the spotlight would change me—change any of us.”
“I don’t know,” I reply. “We are who we are. I don’t see us changing.”
We sit in silence for a moment, contemplating what fame would be like. Then the intercom buzzes again, snapping us out of our daydream.
“That’s probably dad,” Ryan says with a sigh. “I hope he gets used to us living here together.”
“He will,” I say, getting up to answer the intercom.
Ryan meets my stepfather downstairs to help him bring up the door. I go down also to help unload the rest of my boxes from the truck. He is double parked and we are rushing to get everything out and up to the apartment before someone comes by and gives him a ticket. The streets are getting busier now that the sun is setting. Saturday nights around here are always crowded.
We get the last of my things from the truck and my stepfather announces he is going to leave instead of trying to park again. I think he’s had enough of me and Ryan I for today, anyway. He looks at us tentatively before saying goodbye.
“Thanks for the help,” Ryan says and shakes Dad’s hand.
“You’re welcome. Make sure you keep your stepsister safe,” Dad replies, and then turns to me.
“Love you, Eve,” he says, wrapping his arms around me. “Be careful. And make sure that door goes up tonight. This part of town… You never know. Another door is just more protection against intruders.”
“Really?” I reply with a smirk. “Get home safe, and please don’t worry about me so much. I’m a big girl, and you taught me well.” I kiss his cheek. He’s been so good to me over the last few years since he married my mother. It made me shiver inside to think
that he wasn’t going to be around anymore. After spending so many years without a real father, he’d made me feel so comfortable and loved. I could only hope that would continue into the future.
I watch him go with a little tear in my eye.
Both Ryan and I had taken off from work tonight, so we plan on finishing our unpacking and getting some sleep. I find myself a little nervous now, that Dad is gone and it’s just the two of us, but I’m sure it’s just the jitters since this is the first time I’ll be sleeping here. Ryan and I walk back upstairs to enjoy our first night in our new apartment.
4
It doesn’t take me and Ryan long to settle in. After our first couple of weeks learning about our new place and getting our bearings, things just kind of flow. We have already established somewhat of a routine and feel very comfortable around each other. Between work, classes, workshops, and occasional auditions, we don’t spend a whole lot of time together, but it’s a great way to share this small space.
We meet most of our neighbors in passing—either on the stairway, or at the mailbox. Everyone seems very nice, and there is a variety of people living here in the building. One of the elderly men on the first floor is often standing outside his door, probably because it’s the most entertainment he gets, these days. He loves to talk to whoever is in the foyer, and even told me a story about a wild weekend he had when he was my age. He stares at me like he’s reliving the memory each time we run into each other. Other than that, everyone else keeps to themselves, but are friendly enough.
My mother comes in to help me after we moved, in just like she said she would. We spend the day together and she helps me organize my things and buy a dresser. She also stayed to make dinner, which was great, since neither Ryan nor I have cooked at all since we moved here. Ryan knew immediately when he came home that my mom had been there, just from the smell of her cooking.
She came in again a few days later. This time, Ryan was there and the three of us had lunch. It was nice. I don’t think she’s completely comfortable with the two of us living together, but she doesn’t let it create any tension. Mom will keep her feelings to herself, or just share them with me. She’s a very down-to-earth kind of person. I don’t believe she would ever get into it with Ryan unless there was a real reason to. We tell her about what’s been going on, and about a class a bunch of us will be taking together, which we are all excited about.
Each of our friends comes by at some point to check out the new place, and every time, there is something new added or hanging up. We ventured up to the roof a couple of times, even though it is starting to get very cold out. Hopefully, when it gets cooler, we can have some get-togethers up there. There’s been some talk of a holiday party, but I don’t know where we will put everyone, so we’ll see what happens with that.
When Ryan and I are home at the same time, we usually hang out together. We’ll watch a movie, grab some food, or go out for a drink. Ryan will come in and hang out while I’m bartending on occasion, which he’s done in the past, but it’s nice that he can walk me home now. Sometimes just the two of us, and sometimes we have a friend or two join. We are really enjoying our new home and being in the heart of all the action. Our jobs are here, our friends, the studio, the theaters—it’s all right here.
My stepfather has finally settled more with the idea of me and Ryan living together. I can’t say he’s happy about it, but I think he realizes nothing is going on. I made a couple of trips back to have dinner with my parents, and they see how happy I am. I know they miss having me home, but I’m sure they don’t mind having the house all to themselves.
I’m working tonight, and know it’s going to get very busy. It’s a Saturday, and we are getting close to holiday season, which is our craziest time of year. Ryan is rarely off on a weekend and mentions he may stop in with Tony, since he’s not working. I’m glad he’s coming with a friend, because I don’t know if I will be able to hang out while he is there. I quickly say goodbye while putting my coat on over a skimpy bartending outfit.
“Damn, girl. You looking for extra tips tonight? You might need your own bodyguard, looking like that,” Ryan comments as I walk out the door.
“Fuck off,” I say with a laugh.
“Seriously, Eve. You look hot,” he replies.
“Whatever,” I answer and leave before he can see me blushing.
I smile to myself as I stride down the stairs. I know I look good, but it’s nice to hear it once in a while from a man who’s not trying to get in my pants.
I exit the building and pull my coat closed to protect myself from the cold. I quickly walk the short distance to the bar and shake the cold off as I walk in. It’s not crowded yet, but it’s still early. In an hour, we will be four or five people deep at the bar. I put my things away and step behind the bar to settle in for a long night.
As predicted, we get busy pretty fast. People seem to pile in all at once. I notice a group of girls that must be at a bachelorette party. They’re always easy to spot, because they’re usually dressed like whores and drink from penis-shaped straws. The dead giveaway is the girl with the “Bride to Be” tiara. I know it’s all in good fun, but they immediately annoy me.
I’m mixing and pouring nonstop for what I’m sure is over an hour before I notice Ryan and Tony are here. They are patiently waiting for me to notice them and get their drinks.
“Hey, guys,” I greet them hastily. “What’s up? What can I get for you?”
“Just a couple of beers,” Ryan replies.
“And maybe one of those chicks,” Tony adds, pointing to the group with the bachelorette.
“Yeah. No problem. I’m sure there are a couple of them looking for a one-nighter to mark the special occasion. Pretty sure you won't need my help there,” I sneer as I get Ryan’s and Tony’s beers from the cooler.
“Come on, Eve. Don’t get all jelly,” Tony jokes. “You’re way hotter than any of them—especially in that outfit,” he adds, looking me up and down.
“Shut up, Tony,” I answer in a friendly tone, handing them their drinks.
“Cut me some slack. It’s hard picking up chicks when you’re hanging out with this guy,” he replies, nodding at Ryan and paying for the round of drinks.
“Yeah, he’s got you outclassed, doesn’t he,” I quip with a wink and go to help someone else, but not before glancing back at Ryan.
Ryan does look gorgeous tonight. His top is fitted in such a way that it’s not tight, but you can clearly see the definition of his body underneath. When he turns to find a place to stand, I get a glimpse of his backside, which is also very appealing. Even living together, we have managed to stay out of each other’s way when it comes to bathing and dressing. I don’t want things to get weird—not that they would, but his body is very nice to look at and I don’t want to stare.
I continue serving an endless line of people. The music is pumping and the drinks are flowing, which is great for me. I don’t like to think of it as whoring myself out, but my tips are noticeably better when I show a little skin. With the holidays coming, I don’t mind some extra cash in my pockets.
I take a quick break to run to the ladies’ room. I see the bachelorette and her crew in a tight circle on the dance floor. I also notice a couple of them standing by the wall, talking to Tony and Ryan. A twinge of jealousy rushes through me, but I let it pass. What is there to be envious of? I’m not looking to hook-up—especially not with either of those guys.
When I emerge from the ladies’ room, I glance over at them again. They look like they’re getting closer. I hope these sluts aren’t coming back to my place tonight, although if they are, I will have to deal with it—that’s part of the deal with having a male roomie.
I get back to my spot behind the bar and try not to think about them or the nagging feeling I have. The crowd still hasn’t thinned out at all, and I am in full swing behind the bar. Tony nudges his way to the front of the bar and across from me. He signals that he needs a fresh round of beers. I re
ach into the cooler, pop them open, and hand them across the bar.
“You were right. These girls are DTF! That’s what I’m talking about!” Tony says, slurring slightly. He gets very overconfident when he drinks.
“Have fun,” I reply.
“Hope you weren’t planning on sleeping tonight. The one Ryan’s gonna take home seems like a screamer,” he says, laughing as he takes the beers and walks back to the corner.
Shit. I don’t want to do this tonight. Ryan hasn’t brought a girl home yet, so I’m not sure what will happen, but I feel like it’s going to be strange. I don't care who’s in his bedroom, but it’s our home. I guess I don’t have a say who he’s with, but those girls got under my skin the minute they walked in here. This should be interesting.
The crowd begins to thin out about an hour later. The drink orders are slowing down and people are stumbling their way out the door. I have a clear view of my friends and their slutty sidekicks as I begin to clean up my end of the bar, although I’m trying not to stare. Tony has his tongue down one of their throats and his hands all over her ass. He might as well stick it up her skirt, at this point. They are being far from discreet.
Ryan has his back against the wall. The other girl is pressed up against him, almost pinning him there. No doubt he’s enjoying it. I’ve seen him in action a couple of times, and he always plays hard to get, and the girls eat it up. I can’t see her hands, but I’m assuming they’re on his ass, unless she’s bold enough to be holding his package in front of everyone. I wouldn’t be that surprised—I’ve seen that and worse in my time as a bartender.
Ryan glances over my way and our eyes meet for an instant. I quickly look away and get back to wiping the bar top. I need to stop looking at him. What is he doing, looking at me when he’s got some slut trying to dry hump him, anyway? I don’t bother looking back over there again. I don’t want to see, and I definitely don’t want him to see me looking.