Having convinced herself of this, she was all the more alarmed when Sammy observed, one night as they all sat by the fire, ‘Sally’s got fine big tits.’
Dennis convulsed with laughter, but Katie turned on her ‘brother’ furiously. ‘Who did you hear saying that?’ ‘Jackie’s always looking at girls’ tits,’ he explained, ‘and Sally’s is bigger than Molly’s.’
‘Who’s Molly?’ Dennis spluttered.
‘She’s the girl that got my old job,’ Katie told him. ‘I don’t want to hear you saying things like that again,’ she warned Sammy. ‘It’s not nice, and you shouldn’t be looking at girls’ bodies, any road.’
‘I only look at their tits, like I …’
Terrified that he was about to say he had seen hers, Katie shouted, ‘Don’t, then.’
‘Och, let him have some fun,’ Dennis giggled. ‘He’s a big boy now. What’s the harm in it?’
‘You know perfectly well what harm there could be,’ she said, coldly. ‘Just do what I tell you, Sammy.’
He looked puzzled, but nodded sadly. ‘I’ll tell Jackie we shouldn’t look again.’
‘You do that.’
When they went to bed, Dennis said, ‘He’s fairly coming out of his shell, isn’t he?’
‘I don’t want him coming out of his shell,’ Katie burst out. ‘He wouldn’t know how to control himself if he …’
Dennis looked at her suspiciously. ‘You sound jealous, and all. What goes on between you two?’
‘There’s nothing going on between us. I’ve looked after him for years, and I don’t want to see him hurt, that’s all. He could lose his head and … rape somebody.’
‘You are bloody jealous!’
‘I am not!’
‘Then why are you so annoyed? I get a kick myself out of looking at girls’ tits, all men do. It’s just a bit of fun.’
‘It’s maybe fun for other men, but Sammy’s different.’
‘Is it your tits you want him to look at? Are you scared he’ll get to like somebody better than you?’
It was their first quarrel, and Katie was so upset – both about Sammy and about the things Dennis was saying – that she started to cry.
Dennis did not move for a moment, then he turned abruptly away, shifting as far from her as he could. Heart aching, she wondered if this was the end. There was nothing between her and Sammy – not in the way Dennis meant – but he didn’t believe her. Would he pack his things in the morning and leave? This thought made her weep all the more. Her whole body was shuddering with the sobs that were ripped from her, when he whipped round with a groan of repentance and took her in his arms, smothering her wet face with kisses. ‘Oh, God, I’m sorry, Katie. I know you’re just worried for him.’
He rocked her until her body stilled, and when his hands started to fondle her, her raw emotions made her turn to him with a hiccupping moan.
He gave a long satisfied sigh when it was over. ‘That was good! We should quarrel more if that’s what it does to you.’
‘No, Dennis,’ she whispered, snuggling into the crook of his arm. ‘I don’t want to quarrel with you ever again. It’s a horrible feeling.’
He was asleep in no time, but she couldn’t settle. Sammy and Dennis would never get on, that was obvious, but she couldn’t put Sammy in a Home, not even for Dennis, and they would have to learn to live peaceably with each other. She gave a slight shiver as she recalled Sammy’s contorted face when Dennis had been baiting him. It reminded her of his father’s on that terrible, terrible night.
Mr Gunn had killed his wife and would have strangled her, as well, if Sammy hadn’t saved her. Was it possible that he was capable of murder, too? In his jealousy, would he end up by killing Dennis? Or would he turn on her?
Chapter Eleven
Unable to sleep, Sammy was thinking. He didn’t like Dennis, he didn’t like him living here, he didn’t like being alone with him, even if it was only a few minutes till Katie came home. He knew she had to work till eight every night, and Dennis worked in a different place, so they couldn’t be together, but he wished he could have a little while with her without Dennis being there.
He was a long time on his own every day, that was another thing he didn’t like. He finished work at five, so he was by himself in the house for three hours. He did things for her, and sometimes she patted his shoulders for having the fire lit. He swept the floor every night, and dusted, and chopped sticks, but it still left him a lot of time to think. That was why his old dream had come into his mind again. It was a good dream, the very best dream, and he was still sure Katie would make it come true one day.
He had remembered it one night he was trying to remember other things, for he didn’t have a good memory and Jackie had said something about a secret place he went to when he wanted to think. It had nagged at him for a while, till a picture came to his mind, a picture of walking in a wood with Katie and showing her his secret place. He hadn’t been able to remember anything else, except he hadn’t been her brother at that time. But she had made him her brother, so that’s why he was sure she would be his mother some day. He really wanted a mother, only it had to be Katie, and she would just be his mother, not Dennis’s.
His mind went back an hour and a half to when Dennis had come home from work. He had stood on the hearth rug heating himself, then he’d said, ‘You’ve got a grand fire going.’
Sammy was never sure about the praise he got from Dennis. There was something about his face when he said anything nice, as if he didn’t mean it. ‘I lit it at six, so it would be burning bright for Katie.’
‘Everything you do’s for Katie, isn’t it?’
Again, there had been this funny smile that puzzled Sammy. ‘Katie’s my sister, and …’ He had felt muddled then. He had nearly said she’d be his mother some day, but he didn’t want Dennis to know that.
‘Aye, she’s your sister, worse luck.’
Recalling the incident, and taking the remark to mean that he would have liked Katie to be his sister, too, Sammy felt a surge of pride that he was better than Dennis. But he wished he could sleep. It was awful to lie in bed and not to be able to sleep. It made the night twice as long. Maybe if he rose and took a drink of water – but Dennis had Katie’s bed and she would be sleeping on the couch, so he’d have to be careful not to make a noise and waken her.
Creeping through to the kitchen, Sammy opened the cupboard to get a tumbler, then turned on the tap in the sink enough to let a quiet trickle of water come out. Knowing it would take a long time to fill the glass, he swivelled round to make sure that Katie hadn’t heard him, and nearly dropped the tumbler in his dismay. She wasn’t there! Stricken with fear for her, he set the tumbler down and burst into the other room to ask Dennis if he knew where she was, but the words dried in his mouth when he saw them in bed together.
Katie had been on the verge of sleep when Dennis started to stroke her again. ‘Don’t you ever get tired of it?’ she asked, drowsily.
‘No, do you? Is that why you put your nightie back on?’
‘I was cold.’ But she let him slip it off over her head.
‘That’s better.’ He flung back the covers.
‘We’ll freeze,’ she whispered, but desire flooded through her as he kissed her breasts and let his hands slide down her stomach, and they were both panting in mounting passion when the door was flung open.
She turned her head, dishevelled and angry. ‘What do you want, Sammy?’
‘I was looking for you, Katie,’ he mumbled. ‘I got up for a drink and you weren’t on the couch.’
Stopping his thrusts, Dennis gave a high-pitched giggle. ‘Did you think she slept through there? That’s a good one, eh, Katie?’
Katie frowned at his laughter. ‘Be a good boy, Sammy, and go back to bed.’
‘Aye, Sammy,’ Dennis mocked, ‘get back to your bed, for me and Katie are busy.’ He bent his head to kiss her nipple.
She couldn’t help a momentary smile of delight, but when s
he heard Sammy go out, she said, ‘I feel terrible about him seeing us.’
‘He couldn’t have seen much from where he was standing, and anyway, even if he had, he wouldn’t have known what we were doing. Maybe we should have made him watch.’
‘Oh, the things you say,’ she managed to whisper before he took her mind off Sammy again.
The next day being Sunday, Sammy’s day off every week and Katie’s once a month, Dennis was the only one who had to go to work. He hadn’t been out much more than five minutes when Katie noticed Sammy eyeing her speculatively, and her heart sank. ‘Will you take in some coal, please?’ she said, in an effort to distract him. When he didn’t move, she knew he was going to ask questions, and braced herself to answer.
‘Why did you and Dennis not have any clothes on?’
So it hadn’t been too dark for him to see, she thought. ‘We felt hot.’ It was all she could think of.
‘But it wasn’t hot, it was cold, and why were you smiling when he kissed you? Do you like him doing that?’
‘Yes, Sammy, but just him, nobody else.’
‘Why just him?’
‘Because I love him.’
‘But you love me, and all, don’t you?’
‘Yes, but …’
‘You never let me kiss you. Will you let me, Katie? I bet I love you more than him.’
‘Sammy, it’s different with Dennis.’
‘You don’t love me.’
‘I do, but …’ He was on the verge of tears, and pity for him got the better of her. ‘All right, then, you can give me one kiss, but that’s all.’
She shuddered when his slack lips came towards her, but in the next moment, his arms were round her and his kiss was not the kiss of a backward boy, it was the kiss of a man on fire. ‘That’s enough, Sammy,’ she cried, trying to push him away, but his hands delved inside her wrapper, rough and rasping against her skin, for she hadn’t been able to find her nightgown among the tangled bedcovers.
When he tore off the flimsy garment, she screamed, ‘No, Sammy!’ and kicked out with her foot, wishing that she had taken time to put on shoes, or even slippers, for she was only hurting her own toes and making no impression on him.
‘They’re nice,’ he mumbled, his fingers squeezing, his voice thick and his breath coming in loud gasps. ‘Sammy needs to kiss them, and all, like Dennis.’
She was struck with a comforting thought then. He only wanted to be as good as Dennis, and even if he’d seen more than the kissing, he wouldn’t have understood. It might be best to let him fondle her for a minute so he wouldn’t be jealous any more. When he stopped, she would tell him it wasn’t allowed between brother and sister, and that would prevent him ever doing it again.
But Sammy gave her no chance to tell him anything. After running his tongue over her nipple, he lifted his head and enveloped her mouth with his, his breathing, always somewhat noisy, becoming more and more laboured. His arms held her imprisoned, like iron bands round a barrel, as he hoisted her off her feet and carried her through to his room, and her desperate struggles could not break his hold. He laid her on his bed, and kept her down with his knees until he opened his trousers, and only then did she remember that he had seen what his father had done to his women, or maybe it was something that came naturally to a man consumed in the fire of lust. At first, she fought like a tiger, but his need had given him extra strength and she couldn’t stop him.
He wasn’t tender. He didn’t whisper words of endearment. He had no thought for anything except his own gratification, his excited grunts growing louder and louder as he pounded into her – Mercifully quickly, she recognized the signs of approaching climax and at last it was over.
As he lay sweating and panting at her side, it dawned on him that she was weeping as if her heart was breaking, and he said, looking perplexed, ‘Have I been a bad boy, Katie?’
‘Oh, yes, Sammy,’ she sobbed. ‘You’ve been a very bad boy, and you must never do that again. Never!’
‘But Dennis was …’
‘It’s different with Dennis. He’s not … oh, Sammy, you’re … my brother, and he’s not.’ It was the only way she could make him understand.
‘Is a brother not allowed … ?’
‘No, and you must never let Dennis know what you’ve done. He’d be awful angry. Now, get my wrapper, and go out for a walk or something to let me get washed and dressed.’
She lay, weeping uncontrollably again, for a long time after he left the house, but eventually the sobs quietened and she stood up shakily to pull on her wrapper. It wasn’t his fault, she thought, wretchedly. She couldn’t blame him for what he had done, but she had learned one thing from it. Sammy’s brain had never developed beyond that of a child, but the same wasn’t true of his private parts.
Susie Clark had been right in what she said about him when they were at Struieburn – he was hung like a bull.
Chapter Twelve
Beth Morton was feeling very low. It had been one of those days when she felt her age, felt older than her age, and she wondered if she should pack up and leave Peterhead. A change of scene might be all she needed, and she hadn’t meant to stay so long, in the first place. Picking up the Ethel M. Dell she had been trying to read, she started the same page for the fourth time and had actually reached the next page when the da-di-di-da knock made her look up in disbelief. Dennis? After all this time? She would soon tell him where to get off. In the next instant, however, it was as though she had been given an injection with some kind of elixir that made her cast off her anger, her despondency, and her heart quickened at an alarming rate. But, as she went to answer the knock, she made up her mind not to let him win her round too easily, and forced a frown on her face when she opened the door. ‘Well, well! Dennis McKay! I didn’t think you’d have the brass neck to turn up here again.’
‘Don’t be like that, Beth.’ He gave her his well-practised smile of apology-cum-heart-rending-entreaty. ‘If you let me in, I’ll explain everything.’
Savouring the unease he was doing his best to hide, she opened the door wider. ‘It’ll take a lot of explaining.’
He sat down and laid his felt hat on the arm of a chair. ‘I’m sorry. I know I should have written, but I never had a minute to call my own. They made me stay on in Glasgow for longer than I was told, so I only got back this morning, and I came as soon as I finished work.’
‘You only got back this morning?’ Beth’s voice was icy. ‘I’m disappointed in you, Dennis. Can’t you come up with anything better than that?’
‘It’s true, I swear it!’
‘Well, that’s funny. I didn’t believe that the best hotel in Glasgow would take a waiter from Peterhead as a relief, so I went to the Temperance to check up, and I must have been dreaming when I saw you there a month after you were supposed to be away.’
‘Oh,’ he floundered, ‘oh, that! Well, I’d to come back for one day, but I’d to leave again that night …’
‘Why can’t you just be honest and say you told me a pack of lies? I’m not a fool, you know.’
He had the grace to look ashamed. ‘That’s that, isn’t it? I should have known you were too smart to believe it.’ He picked up his hat. ‘I’d better leave, I suppose.’
‘Before you go, I’d like the whole truth. Who was she?’
‘Who was who?’ he blustered, but her expression warned him that she would not be palmed off. ‘She was only … Beth, I’m truly sorry, but I couldn’t help myself. Katie was mad about me, and she pleaded with me to move in with her.’
‘So you’ve been sleeping with this girl … this Katie? Are you still living with her?’
‘Yes, I’m still there, but we’re not sleeping together any more. I share a bed with her brother.’
‘What happened? Did you tire of her? Do you expect me to be grateful that you’ve come back to me?’
In spite of her sarcasm, he could tell that she was coming round. ‘I never wanted her, not really, and I know where I am with
you, don’t I?’
‘You think I should be glad to have you because nobody else would look at me at my age?’
‘That’s not what I meant. You’re a beautiful woman, Beth, but I’ve a weakness for young girls. It’s like … how can I explain? I love you, but I get a kick out of them for a wee while. Have pity on me, please, Beth? I need you.’
‘Till another young thing catches your eye?’ Baiting him suddenly lost its appeal, and she sighed, ‘Dennis McKay, I know I’m a silly old bitch, but … welcome back!’
He jumped up to fling his arms round her. ‘I don’t deserve it, Beth, but thank God you didn’t throw me out.’
‘I can’t think why you bother with me when I’m old enough to be your mother.’
Dennis gave a throaty chuckle. ‘Hardly. I’m twenty-one …’
‘And I’ll be thirty-five in October, maybe not old enough to be your mother, but still too old.’
‘I don’t think of you as old, Beth. As soon as I saw you, I knew you were special, there was something about you …’
‘My money?’
‘Oh, Beth, that’s not fair.’ Dennis looked hurt. ‘Have I ever asked you for anything?’
‘No, I’m sorry, I’m just a bit touchy about it. You see, I’ve come up against some nasty money-grabbers in my time.’
‘I’m not like them, Beth, and I think I’m falling in love with you. Let me show you.’
She let him pull her down on the sofa, her heart speeding up as he took her in his arms. He was really just a boy, but it was nice to be loved, to feel that she meant something more than a meal ticket. His gentle lips finding hers, she gave herself up to pretending she was as young as he was. If she could be sure he was serious about her, she could even be persuaded to marry him … if that was what he wanted.
‘Oh, my lovely, lovely Beth,’ he whispered. ‘I’ll never love anybody but you.’
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