“Have you talked to him about this? Dev had a wall up when we reconnected. He didn’t let me in and was always pulling away,” I soothed as I watched a tear slip down her cheek.
“Dev was undercover. He had to hide stuff from you. “I’m not hiding anything from Jase.”
“You might not be, but he has things he hasn’t shared with you... Dev said Jase has demons and doesn’t open up to people. Maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s just the way he is. If you care about him, don’t give up. Fight for him and keep scaling the walls. He’ll stop building them up when he feels like he can trust you.”
“Trust me?” she cried. “I haven’t done anything to make him think he can’t.”
“Whatever is going on with Jase goes back before you two started seeing each other. You just said you guys were just having fun. Maybe he feels like you don’t want to see the deeper side of him. Maybe he needs more of a commitment?”
“I don’t know,” she slumped down on her elbow. “Something or someone really messed him up in the past. I think the undercover work is just making it worse. He needs to talk to someone and let all of it out.”
“Maybe, but I think what he really needs is for someone to fight for him. He needs someone that wants the tomorrows, not just the todays. Show him you’re not going anywhere,” I smiled as I stood and rounded the bar. I wrapped her in my arms and murmured, “You’re good for him Tiff. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Don’t give up on him.”
“Thanks,” she sighed as she pulled out of my arms. “I needed that.”
“Any time. Now, we need to talk about hiring more people. I can’t keep doing this,” I groaned as I walked over to the front door and locked it. After flipping the sign to closed, I flicked the lights off, and began heading toward the back. “Go through those applications this weekend, and let me know if anyone sounds good. I want to start the interview process next week,” I called when I reached the back door.
“You got it,” she smiled as she followed me out into the parking lot. “Have a nice Thanksgiving,” she waved as she jogged over to her car, climbed in, and pulled out of the parking lot.
ooooooooo
When I got home that night, I felt like a Popsicle. It was freezing out, and I’d forgotten my gloves at home. My mom was sound asleep on the couch when I walked in. I gently roused my mother; she’d been so good about helping lately with Mara. With Dev working the night shift, we had texted a few times throughout the night updating each other, and the last one he’d sent said he’d be home around two, he thought.
“She wanted to wait up for you tonight, but I convinced her to get some sleep,” my mother smiled as she pointed toward Mara’s cracked bedroom door. “She got used to you being here, and she misses you.”
I smiled, hugged my mom, and reassured her that I’d spend some extra time with her over the next few days. As I held open the door for her, I reminded her that I’d see her in two days when we celebrated the holidays. She nodded then disappeared down the hall.
I’m not sure how long it took me, minutes maybe, but as soon as I’d locked up I began peeling my smelly bar clothes off and leaving a trail behind me as I made my way to the bedroom. I was exhausted, and all I could think about was taking a quick shower and climbing into bed.
Thoughts of my busy night and the problems Tiff had divulged washed away after I climbed into the shower and stood under the warm spray. My muscles ached from not being used to the work I’d performed all evening. That little bit of time I’d taken off after my accident had totally messed with me. I had to condition myself all over again. I quickly shampooed my hair, scrubbed the bar filth from my body before stepping out, and wrapping myself in a soft plush towel. My eyes were so close to closing on their own that I decided to forgo the PJs, and just climbed into bed. My tired body sank into the soft mattress as I curled around the extra pillow Dev had been sleeping on. The smell of his cologne wafted into my nose causing me to sigh as my eyes fluttered shut and I drifted off into a deep sleep.
I don’t know how long I stayed that way, but sometime later, I felt the bed dip. A hard warm body pressed into my back as a muscled arm wrapped around my stomach. I mumbled as my current dream began to fade, and reality sank in. The warm body was real. It wasn’t just in my mind.
“Sorry it’s so late,” he whispered into my ear as his hand ran up my stomach and cupped my breast. “I tried to get out as soon as I could, but the crazies come out during the holidays and the snow makes it worse.”
“Mmmm,” I moaned as I pressed my hips back into him. I felt him grow against my backside as his fingers began to knead my breast and his trailed light kisses up my neck.
“I thought maybe you were too tired,” he murmured as he nipped my ear.
“Mmmm,” I slowly shook my head as I turned it in search of his mouth. When I felt our lips connect, I groaned. I’d been waiting for this for over a week, and the fact that I didn’t have to stop us was fueling the fire that was building in my belly.
Dev growled as he shifted so his erection slipped right between my thighs. His hips rocked against me as the hand that was cupping my breast began to trail down my stomach. His fingers brushed between my thighs and caused tremors to run through me. The lack of physical intimacy while I’d healed had caused me to become more responsive, and Dev was taking full advantage. “Tell me if I hurt you,” he commanded as he grabbed my knee and moved my leg behind him. “I want this to feel good for both of us,” his breath tickled my neck as his fingers went back to torturing me.
I nodded as one finger dipped in,” Don’t stop!” I panted. A second finger joined the assault, and I ground my hips back into him. “So good,” I gasped as I reached behind me in search of the steel that was throbbing against my thigh. “I need you so much,” I panted as I wrapped my fingers around him. “Please,” I begged as I gripped him.
A groaned bubbled up his throat as he removed his fingers and reached for my wrist. After pinning my arms in front of me, he shifted his hips, so he was right at my entrance. “Please!” I begged again. “No more waiting.”
Before I could say anything else, he rocked forward, sinking into me. “Fuck,” he muttered as he pushed forward a little further. I sighed before grinding my hips back causing him to tense.
“Stop!” he growled as he gripped my hip and held me in place. I grinned in the dark at his lack of ability to hold on before rocking back against his grip. “Sam,” he warned as I giggled and shook my hips. “You are fucking asking for it baby.”
“Stop holding back and fuck me,” I moaned as he slipped even deeper, seating himself all the way to the hilt.
“Shit!” he growled before pulling back slightly and slamming back into me. “You are going be the death of me,” he muttered as he rolled us slightly so he could grab the headboard. I grabbed the pillow in front of me to muffle my cries as he pounded into me while muttering things I couldn’t understand. His muscles tensed as he worked us so close to the edge and stopped. Every time I was about to fall over the cliff, he would pause, and I would sink back. Finally, after the third time he stopped moving, I took over.
“Fuck, Sam,” he growled. “I want this to last.”
“We’ve got five days before I work again. Stop holding back,” I reached back and grabbed his hips. His body shook with tension before he started moving again. This time when we got close to the edge, he didn’t stop. His hip jacked forward harder and harder until I felt him swell impossibly bigger and explode inside me. Our bodies, slick with sweat, sagged against one another as he held my back to his chest. I sighed contently as he chuckled.
“Feel better,” his voice cracked at the end and I could tell, even the dark, he was smirking at me.
“Oh yeah,” I giggled as I wiggled my backside against him.
“Sam,” he warned as he wrapped his arm around my waist. “I can’t recover that quickly.”
I giggled as I tried to turn in his arms. He slipped from me as he softened, and when I rolled over
, I placed my head on his chest. I could hear his heart thundering where my cheek rested, and the thumping was slowly lulling me to sleep. I yawned as I settled my hand on his stomach and traced the lines of his abs. “Move in with me.” It slipped out so quietly that I wasn’t sure if he heard it.
“Are you sure?” he mumbled. “You don’t have to ask me just because of what we just did.”
“No, I want you here. Move in— this weekend. I’ll help.” I yawned again as my eyes drifted closed.
“I’d love that,” he murmured as he craned his neck to press a kiss to the top of my head. I lifted it and smiled. I could barely make out his face in the dark, only the moonlight shone through the single window in my room. “I love you,” I whispered as I pressed my mouth to his. “I love you, too,” he whispered back as a sigh escaped him. “Get some sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.”
“It is morning,” I giggled as I pointed to the alarm clock that was glowing on the nightstand.
“Go to sleep, Sam,” he chuckled as his arm tightened around me.
“So bossy,” I murmured as I placed my head back on his chest and let exhaustion take me under.
Chapter 20
When I woke up the next morning, I could sense that I was alone. I reached out and swept my arm across the mattress before opening my eyes. When I didn’t feel anything but rumpled sheets, I sighed. This was getting old. Dev never stuck around in bed. After the one morning that Mara caught us, he’d made sure that he was up every day before she was.
I rolled onto my back and blinked at the ceiling a few times before letting my mind wander. Did we really agree to live together last night? Was that real? It sure felt real, but so much of my reality had felt like a dream lately. I was sure I needed to pinch myself so I could wake up. Things like this never happened for me. I didn’t get the guy in the fairy tale.
What were we anyway? We were happy. However, was I just waiting for the inevitable downfall? Dev really hadn’t mentioned our relationship status in quite some time. Were we pretending? Was he here out of some sort of obligation to Mara? I didn’t think so, but we really hadn’t discussed ‘us’ in a while. The fact that he’d agreed to move in with me should have been a clue as to where things were going, but my muddled brain hadn’t processed that yet.
“Mommy?” Mara’s voice was timid as she softly knocked on my closed bedroom door. I’d told her that she couldn’t just barge in, and she’d been doing really well remembering that lately. Although, Dev was probably out there with her, so I wasn’t sure what was going on.
“You can come in,” I called as I finished slipping one of Dev shirts on over my head and settled back against the soft pillows.
When the door opened, Mara stood in the doorway grinning, with Dev behind her holding a tray.
“Daddy and I made you breakfast in bed,” she giggled as she skipped over to the bed and climbed into is. It was awkward watching her fumble with her cast, but we’d agreed to let her try things on her own, and she was doing surprisingly well.
“You did?” I smiled at her before sending a confused look in Dev’s direction. “What’s the occasion?”
Mara bounced a few times before settling next to me, “Daddy says today is a special day, and we needed to celebrate.” Mara snagged a piece of toast off the tray that Dev had placed in front of me. She nibbled on it before turning toward him, “So what is it?”
“What’s what?” I lifted the mug of hot coffee and took a sip.
“I told her we needed to discuss something with her today,” he smirked and winked at me.
“I’m confused,” I mumbled around the edge of my mug.
Mara giggled as she watched us, and Dev’s mouth opened and shut a few time as if he couldn’t believe that I didn’t know what he was talking about. Finally, he sighed and looked over at our daughter, “Mommy and I talked about something last night, and I wanted to see what you thought.”
“What? What? What?” she bounced harder in her excitement.
“How would you feel if Daddy moved in here with you guys?”
I stared, completely taken by the fact that he would even consider asking her. It was so heartfelt and unnecessary. I knew the answer before she even uttered the words.
“Here?” Mara’s head tipped to the side.
“Yep,” he grinned at her excitement.
“Where would you put your stuff?” she scratched her chin, deep in thought.
“Well,” Dev shrugged. “I was planning to put the big stuff in storage and only bring the small things.”
“And where would that go?” she scanned the room.
“I could share some of my space with him,” I smiled at Mara, “just like I shared space with Andy in Vegas.”
Dev tensed beside me at the mention of Andy, but at the moment, I was trying to help my daughter understand what was going on. Thoughts of him being upset were the least of my worries.
“Where would you sleep?” she looked over at the rumpled pillow on my bed.
“Well,” he swallowed, and I thought I might have seen him slightly blush.
I couldn’t help but laugh at this point. Dev was getting embarrassed by a three year old. Deciding that he’d floundered enough, I jumped in, “He’d stay in here with me.”
“Really?” she clapped her hands. “Like a real Mommy and Daddy?”
“What are you talking about, baby?” I watched her excitement waver slightly. “We’re still a real Mommy and Daddy even if Daddy doesn’t sleep here.”
“That’s not what Jeremy said,” she stuck her lip out. My mother had mentioned this kid at pre-school bothering Mara, but she’d told me she’d taken care of it. Apparently, my daughter needed to hear this from me, too. “Jeremy said that Mommies and Daddies have to sleep in the same bed. He said that’s how you get more babies.”
“Whoa!” Dev’s eyes bugged out as his head jerked up from where it had been staring at his lap.
“Who said anything about more babies?” I questioned as I placed my hand on her shoulder.
“I want a sister,” Mara grumbled.
Dev’s shoulders shook with laughter as he gave me an amused smile. It was starting to make a little more sense now. She wanted a sibling, that’s where this was coming from. “Sweetie,” I took a deep breath. “Daddy’s gonna move in here and live with us, but Mommy’s not ready for another baby yet. We need to get used to just the three of us first. Mommy and Daddy have to talk and decide when babies come. It doesn’t just happen.”
“But…” she stuck her lip out.
“But we’ll let you know when, ok?” Dev watched her, hoping she’d accept the answer he’d given.
“Ok,” she shrugged. “I’m going to go watch cartoons,” she scrambled down from the bed and took off down the hall.
“Let her know?” I gasped after she ran away.
“Well,” he shrugged as he slid closer to me and moved the tray of food to the floor. “I always wanted a large family with lots of kids running around.” He placed a kiss on my shoulder, “I missed everything with her. I can’t go back, but in the future,” he placed his palm on my flat stomach, “I’d like to see you swollen with my child in there.”
“Dev,” I swallowed before glancing at him. “I’m not ready for another child. yet.”
“I know, but it doesn’t mean we can’t talk about it,” he murmured. “I just want you know that if it ever happens, I’ll be happy about it. You don’t have to worry about that.”
I grinned before turning my head in his direction, “You know, just because I’m not ready doesn’t mean we can’t practice?”
“I like the way you think,” he chuckled “but I’ve got a couple of guys from the station meeting me at my place in an hour, so if you want to help move me in here, we really don’t have time right now. Get dressed, and we’ll finish this tonight.”
“Deal,” I giggled.
ooooooooo
After calling my mom and asking her to watch Mara for few hours, we’d made
our way up to his loft. He hadn’t really lived there over the past month. Most of his everyday things like clothes had been slowly making their way into my place. Things like pictures and small trinkets had to be packed. Dev was busy helping the guys lift things like the couch and kitchen table, and I was boxing the small stuff. He’d already made two trips to his storage locker and was getting ready to make a third when he came over to where I was sitting by the bed.
“We’re going to grab some lunch on this next trip, do you want anything, or are you just going to go downstairs to your place?” He squatted down in front of me.
“What are you getting?” I mumbled absentmindedly as I scanned the floor around me.
“Probably just some burgers or something,” he shrugged.
“Sure, grab me whatever. I’m just going to finish boxing up all this stuff,” I motioned to the bedroom space.
“Ok,” he chuckled as he pushed off his knees and shoved himself to a standing position. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”
“See ya,” I called without looking up. I was engrossed in boxing the bedroom items and wasn’t really paying attention. I hadn’t opened several drawers yet. I felt like I was on a treasure hunt. I’d been in here before, but other than that one time when I first snooped around his place, I really hadn’t delved into it. Back then, it was Brian I was trying to figure out. Dev had hidden anything that would lead to his identity. All identification had been locked away in a safe in his closet. Now that I knew who he was, and he wasn’t on a job, I could dig until my heart was content.
I didn’t really find anything out of the ordinary until I reached the footlocker tucked under his bed. I honestly don’t think I would have noticed it if I hadn’t been in the process of taking the bed apart. I’d already pulled all the sheets and the comforter off. Now that it was just the frame and mattress, you could clearly see that something was stored underneath.
Curiosity got the better of me, and I tugged on one of the handles until it slid out. It was heavy. The lock popped open with ease, and I grinned as I lifted the lid to see what treasure awaited me. My smile faltered slightly as I peered down inside. The trunk was filled with smaller boxes, all of them labeled with names. I lifted one on the top and read the name Marcus. I opened it and peered inside to find an entire life. A driver’s license with Dev’s picture and the name Marcus Banks was on top. An employee badge for a business I’d never heard of was lying next to it, then several documents. Dev’s messy handwriting was scrolled across several papers. It looked like maybe notes. There were dates and names of places with numbers beside them and at the bottom what looked like surveillance photos. Reality of what I’d found began to creep in as I lifted another box, this one with the name Zach Wright on it.
Becoming Somebody Page 14