by Jo Zebedee
The crowd surges forward, and Asha is glad that she chose her small space against the back wall. It looks as though people could get hurt, but no one seems to consider it.
'This sundown shall henceforth be marked as one of our most significant. This we shall call First Worship, to recall the first time we gave praise to the gods on the completion of our temple!'
The dense audience bursts into a wall of noise, and Asha feels as though the sound is pressing against her with a physical force.
'This is the Temple of the Animex, and we are the Animexians! Embrace your new name as you embrace the words of your Re'Nuck, and the influence of the Animex in your own life!'
Apius revels in the roar of the audience, threatening to break into a frenzy. With a simple motion, the Re'Nuck brings them back to silence.
'We all know the facts of our arrival here. We arrived here in vessels crafted by the hands of the Animex, made to bring their children here safely. When we were young, we were mere animals. Since that day, each sunup we have become more advanced, and we have grown closer to their image. We share their wisdom, their intelligence. And from nothing we have crafted a society, and each of us has taken on a role to make that civilisation work. But our evolution is not yet complete.'
Asha has to admire his handiwork, the careful design behind his performance. And that is exactly what it is – a performance. How can a man like Apius truly believe that of which he speaks? The Animex made life, but does that make them gods? The Re'Nuck has found a language to control the villagers of Genem. Even in this simple pause he is fully in charge of everyone in this temple.
'The next step – the next phase for us – is to truly accept the Animex. Each one of us should devote out lives to them, to worshipping them with our acts and our prayers. For they hear us – do not doubt it. They watch over us, see our actions. Everything we have built they have watched us build. Every word we say they have heard us speak. So let us let them know. Let us make them understand how much we appreciate the gift of life they have given!'
Apius finally deigns to walk among the crowd, his people. They part before him, giving him the space to wander freely while they push into even smaller spaces. 'And we shall appreciate every moment this precious life gives us. Tonight we shall celebrate, and begin the enjoyment of these lives. We shall forget our duties, and our responsibilities, and lose ourselves in revelry!'
Asha is horrified at the thought, and that horror only intensifies as the flock crows its agreement. What Apius proposes is against everything Genem has been built upon!
'I bid you all to return to your huts, and bring all you can to this clearing! Bring instruments that we may play music until sunup! Bring food and drink that we may feast until we are full! Be ready to dance, and laugh, and enjoy starlit pleasures! Let the ceremony of First Worship begin!'
The temple begins to empty. People attempt to barge past each other in their enthusiasm. Asha curls herself into a ball, afraid of what she is seeing from her fellows. Is the potential for his behaviour in all of them, within her? Here in the corner she feels an element of safety, and as people depart the manic energy that has been built up leaves the temple, a change in the air beyond the chill of moontime. Asha feels unwilling to move until there is utter silence around her. She finally stands in the empty temple, unable to speak, unable to understand what she has just seen.
But the temple is not completely empty. Stood in the central aisle, draped in vestments, stands the Re'Nuck himself. He glances over to her, and she realises that this is the first time she has been alone with this man.
'What a surprise to see you. Not satisfied with bawling at me in the streets? Or have you finally decided to join us?'
'Join us? I shall have no part of... this.'
'Then why are you here? Just idle curiosity?'
'Of course not. I came to...' As the words linger on her lips, she realises how ridiculous they sound. But Apius is not willing to let them go.
'You came to stop me? Is that right, Asha?'
'How do you know my name?'
'It is quite easy enough to find out. Besides, it is worth knowing your opposition. I would not want to see my cause... damaged in any way.'
'You consider this a cause? This is a squandering of resources to vanity. Vanity and empty words!'
'You will see just how empty they are in time. Enough people have flocked here to the temple. Do you think they consider my words empty?'
'No, but their minds must be!'
'Asha, really? Judging so many of your fellows to be buffoons, just because they happen to believe in something more than what we can see? Something more than drowning in hardship?'
'So the answer is revelry? Feasting and games? What does that solve?'
'Do you truly think that any god would enjoy watching their children grow like this? Toiling away in fields over plants that have yet to sprout? Building a village that is little more than a circle of huts? Developing tools to make the same labour quicker? Is that a fit life for the children of gods?'
'What do you know of these gods, Apius? What makes you so wise in their ways? Have you seen the Animex, spoken with them, heard this from them?'
'I know what I say is true. I feel them smile upon me.'
'Your followers might swallow such nonsense, Re'Nuck, but I know what you are doing.'
Apius says the next with his mind, not with his tongue. But the touch of it... Ajerus's mental hand upon her was gentle, uninvasive. The words Apius places into her are scalding, each letter and syllable a burning brand.
You see nothing. It has already begun, and I will see it through to the end.
Asha reels backward, sighing with relief as the clutching mind-grip of Apius releases itself. Without another word, spoken or thought, she dashes from the temple.
***
Within hours, the clearing is witness to a scene unlike any in the short history of Genem. Larders have been emptied, and food lies on crude tables where both men and women eat greedily. None think about the next sunup. They eat as they have never eaten, gorging until their stomachs grow bloated. In one corner an unseen man has overstuffed himself more than any other, and vomits loudly into a stand of trees. Some of the food lies on the floor, trodden upon by bare feet, but still is devoured by hungry hands and mouths. 'Let us eat! Eat like we shall never eat again!' a high-pitched voice cries, and instantly the feeding frenzy intensifies.
But feasting is not the only act of pleasure evident around the temple. To one side a dancing circle has broken out, three women playing their simplest of drums with a fervour that sucks the crowd into a hypnotic rhythm. None of the Noukari have ever danced before, and the movements are jerky, often arrhythmic. Some find the beat to the music, other simply fling limbs and heads around with abandon, not caring what the music is but for the fact that there is music. The result is a swirling mass of bodies, some pressing against each other, others seeking isolation, their own space to explore the movement of their bodies. Each is lost in a new world, a world of sound and ecstasy.
Apius watches the dancers from the sidelines, choosing not to join them. He knows that he is the originator of this ceremony, but must not partake of it himself. No – a Re'Nuck must not debase himself like this. He has a duty to his followers. They must know this pleasure, they must find it at the heart of them to forget duty and endless work. This is significant, he knows, and he must take in every aspect of the sights before him without losing himself.
He leaves the dancers to their furious patterns, passes the desperate feeders at the centre of First Worship. For there is something more going on at the ceremony, something he had not expected.
At the outer edge of the clearing there is a small clutch of men, only four or five, but what they do is so extraordinary that he cannot help but watch.
They are fighting.
The Re'Nuck moves in more closely, and the offence and defence pauses for a moment. But Apius just nods and b
ids them to continue. None of them question further, and the slowest to respond to the Re'Nuck's command find their faces crushed with clenched fists.
Fighting, Apius thinks to himself. What an unlikely outcome. Only in this moment, freed of all their rules and strictures, have they seen fit to fight. He would not even recognise it had he not heard and seen the creatures of the forest doing the very same thing, from the small and clumsy Echen through to the vicious duels of the Hiyel. It seems to be the way of nature, he reflects, the way of all life. Perhaps there is even something unnatural in the fact they have never fought.
Do the Animex fight like this? Combat between god and god, creators turned destroyers? Surely such a thing must be if their children have this capacity for conflict within them.
There seems to be no routine to the combat, no pattern. Who has ever through to develop rules for this situation? The fight is not over pride, or honour. It is simply a fight because there is the will to fight. The five men – he counts them now – have no particular aggressor, but lash out at the nearest person to them. They seem to absorb the blows with fist and elbow with delight equal to the successful strikes they land. Causing pain – and feeling pain – seems to be their unique pleasure.
And perhaps something more.
Apius revels in the stunning scene, limbs twisting to punch and kick, throws launching bodies to the remorseless floor. He sees their grimaces as jaws are rocked by fists, and headbutts connect with crunching force, and sweat breaks out on exhausted faces. But still they do not stop. What could make them stop?
Under the moons, the Re'Nuck watches it all. He watches his people gorge, and revel, and fight.
First Worship has succeeded beyond his imaginings.
What Sunup Brings
'Will you talk to me now, wefi?'
Asha returned home after moonrise without a word, and since then Zerial has not been able to get a word out of her. Now he turns to Asha as they both lay amidst their furs, warding off the cold as best they can. Sunup is just a little away, and Asha is not looking forward to it.
'I do not know how to describe it, Hasban It was... like a nightmare.'
'A nightmare? What do you mean?'
'He's dangerous, Zerial. There is something dark inside Apius. I know there is.'
'You have thought so for some time.'
'I know! I am trying to tell you what happened!'
'Of course, I am sorry. Please, Asha, I want to know.'
'He called it First Worship.'
'First Worship? What does that mean?'
'It was a... celebration. I don't know. I can't...'
'Shhh. You don't have to tell me now, or ever, if you don't want to. I will understand.'
'Thank you, Hasban'
'You know that I am here. And I love you.'
'I love you too, Zerial.'
She settles into his arms, trying to forget all about last night. Anything good to help her forget.
***
Across Genem, the sunup reveals an entirely different scene. Over a hundred Noukari begin to rise from what little, fitful sleep they had. Their slumber was the result of whatever distraction they chose - full stomachs, tired limbs, broken bones. The smell from the clearing is a blend of blood, sweat and vomit. Apius has slept in the clearing, wanting to ensure he witnesses the entirety of First Worship. His head is clear as he watches the villagers rise, stumbling to their feet. There are looks of confusion, even despair, and Apius knows he must move quickly to halt those feelings. They should be filled with pride, satisfaction at the pleasure they allowed themselves. First Worship should – will – never be the source of shame.
'My brothers and sisters, rise to face the sunup!'
The blurry stares of the wakeful turn his way, while others stir at the opening proclamation.
'I understand what it is you feel. Some of you are afraid. Some of you are not proud of yourselves. Some of you want to forget how you behaved. But you must not feel any of these things! This is a night that we shall all recall forever. First Worship was the first night that we have truly lived! We have let go of duty and responsibility, and celebrated and rejoiced! We have finally made the most of the life that the gods have granted us!'
In moments the crowd is stirred to full alertness, and all the eyes in the clearing are upon the Re'Nuck. 'Come, brothers and sisters. Let us retire to the temple and share our joy with the Animex!'
The cheer that follows is subdued, but Apius is little surprised at that. Their minds have been distracted from the negativity that threatened to swamp them, and he knows that he has already started to turn them around. A swift sermon and they will look gladly upon First Worship.
As Apius leads his followers into the temple, he notices the last of them – the five fighters from last night, each limping and bruised. The aggression that existed between them has now dissipated, and they pass through the door in unity. Remarkable, thinks Apius, that such fury could be forgotten so quickly.
***
Asha heads to the fields after a disturbed night's sleep, still determined to carry out her role. The pathways remain quiet, and she wonders just how many made it back home last night. She shudders to think of what might have gone on in that clearing. What did Apius hope to achieve by encouraging his followers to let out the worst of their nature?
When Asha arrives to the fields, she finds them every bit as quiet as the remainder of Genem. There are nods of greeting, uneasy waves, but no real bonhomie. Asha can see her own worries reflected in her fellows. She smiles to think that at least Zerial stayed waiting for her, but how many lost their wefi and their Hasban for a night? How many had to lie alone in their furs?
When Asha arrives at her quadrant, she is unsurprised to find that she is the only one there. Still, she picks up her rake and water bucket and gets to work. She still believes this is the most important thing – more so than worship, or self-enjoyment, perhaps more so even than her own wellbeing.
It is as she gets to work that she sees something that finally improves her mood – the first sprouting plant, peering up from beneath the soil.
The Way of the Animexian
Apius looks out from his window across the village of Genem. He feels an immense sense of pride as he watches his people go about their business. He smiles. His people. It is incredible, he reflects, the difference a single sunup can make. The triumph of First Worship is behind him, but he knows that is the first of many such victories for Animexianism.
First Worship was a great start. But it was just the beginning – there is much more to be done.
Starting with the book.
He looks over to the pile of papyrus, some filled and some empty. So many sermons, so many fine words, but so much of it is only thought, he now realises. Where is the reality? How can his people apply these teachings to their everyday lives? What will separate his followers from the remaining non-believers?
This is his next dilemma to deal with. First Worship must remain a one-off, but is there some way to recapture that mood, that feeling?
Picking up his quill and opening his ink, Apius redirects his attention to his book.
What is it to be a true Animexian? It means many things, and is far more than a simple belief. In accepting the truth of the Animex as gods, and the doctrine that entails, a person's behaviour – and a person's mind – must change. The Noukari have spent their earlier days within a society that is rigid, unwavering, refusing to bend to new ideas. Stoic in their determination to build a society, there has been no time for thought, no time to reflect on what the gods would ask of them.
At the heart of the religion, of course, is belief. Acknowledging the truth that the Animex created us is not hard – all Genem knows this. But the acceptance that this makes them gods is still resisted by some. These unbelievers must not be frowned upon, but simply spoken to, educated and, in time, converted. The Noukari are not a race given to violence.
Apius pauses
here, recalling for a brief moment the brutal combat between the five fighters of last night. He debates crossing out his previous statement, but decides to let it stand. Does one exception change things?
The battle that we must fight with those who refuse to join us is a mental one. With words we can change thoughts, change hearts, and this is how we must proceed. The true Animexian does not settle for their own belief – he tries to instil it in others around them. The mission is now – and will continue to be – to bring every one of the Noukari into our fold.
Belief we have established as the core of our religion, and the desire to pass on that belief. But how does our belief alter our lives? Non-believers have always devoted themselves to duty. They till the fields, build the tenements, create tools. Why should the Noukari as a race be denied to explore the opportunity to explore their pleasures? What time have we had to find out what the foods of the forest taste like, and lose ourselves to the music that we have barely had the chance to play? Whether the sun or the two moons ride high in the sky, we do things because we must, not because we want to.
What kind of god creates a race in order to give them this life? What god wants to see his children subjugate themselves in this manner? Pleasure should be part of the life of the Noukari, every bit as much as those tasks. And the Animexian way of life will be one that allows pleasure. This is the second principle of our religion, the exploration of pleasures. Each may have his own – no two people are alike, and these differences shall grow greater over time as each finds the delights that have so far been hidden to them. It might be the simplest of things – walking through the trees of the forests, swimming in the streams, perhaps even reading these very words. It might be more complicated. Maybe future generations will want to write books of their own, tell the stories of their lives, chronicle the growth of our culture. A full written history of the Noukari may emerge, but only if people desire it to happen. Others may find joy in food, creating new flavours, meals we have yet to imagine. These things must be encouraged – food must not be another part of our duty, but an avenue of pleasure! And so for music, and the nights where we lie with those closest to us.