“A Draenir settlement,” I murmured.
“It matches our scans,” Ben said.
Lumi stepped forward, then placed her hand on the grassy ground, her fingers combing through the green blades as she closed her eyes. Looking at the rest of my crew, I noticed that Bogdana, too, had her eyes closed. Taeral seemed drowsy, while Ben and Vesta took deep breaths, their eyes darting all over the place.
We all had different reactions to this place, and I wondered why.
“I can feel them,” Lumi replied, her voice raspy. “They’re strong here. As if they’re magnets pulling me closer to them.”
“Is anyone else’s chest buzzing and humming, or is it just me?” Taeral asked.
“Okay, we’re officially in the territory of weird, then!” Serena quipped.
“It means we’re on to something,” Ben replied. “Notice how each of us reacts to the Hermessi’s presence. Taeral looks like he’s about to take a nap. Bogdana’s in the throes of ecstasy, and Vesta and I seem to have a hard time focusing.”
“Yeah, it feels like the air is moving, and I’m trying to figure out whether I’m just imagining it or not,” Vesta said.
Ben gave her a nod and a half-smile. “Me too. What about you, Kale?”
I had to think about it before I formulated a response. How did this feel?
“I… It’s like there’s about a thousand strings tied to my skin,” I explained, “each tugging in a different direction. It doesn’t hurt or anything, but it’s strange.”
“I, for one, can’t feel a thing.” Bijarki sighed, his hands resting on his hips.
“We’re not fae, nor swamp witches,” Serena said. “The Hermessi probably don’t have the same effect on us. Whatever they’re doing to us isn’t something we can sense, or even describe or quantify.”
“So you think that we’re reacting, too?” Draven asked.
Serena smiled. “I’m positive. We’re all living beings. We’re all still here because we depend on the natural elements. Surely, they have an impact on us, but for the fae, who actually use their powers, it’s different. And I think the same goes for the swamp witches, though maybe at a different level.”
“Okay, so what do we do now?” Hunter replied, looking at me.
“There’s nothing but dust and weeds and sadness on the other side of the lagoon,” Lumi said, staring at the cabins. “Nothing there for us to use, in any way. But the lagoon itself, well, that’s a different story.”
The best part about this place was that it was almost completely isolated from the rest of the world, bordered by the lush and quiet jungle. I could still hear the echo of a sonic boom here and there, coming from far away. It distracted me. For a moment, I stood there, listening. Before I even realized it, a whisper slithered into the back of my head.
Come midnight.
Was that me, or some foreign entity? Maybe the Hermessi?
Come midnight.
“Anyone else hear that?” I asked, frowning.
They all shook their heads. Either I was losing my mind, or someone was trying to talk to me. I exhaled, then closed my eyes and allowed my consciousness to open up. I was hoping I’d hear more. Once more, my instincts prevailed, because I did hear more.
It was a soft and feminine voice, low and purring softly. If I could put a face to it, it would’ve been a cat. She was saying the same sentence, over and over. I listened carefully, ignoring the gasps around me.
Come midnight, I am stronger. We should talk.
“Oh, wow,” I heard Vesta mumble. “Come midnight.”
My eyes popped open. “So you heard it, too.”
“Yeah, just now,” she replied.
“Me too,” Ben said.
Bogdana grinned in a way that sent shivers down my spine, though I wasn’t sure why. “Come midnight, I am stronger.”
“We should talk,” Taeral added.
“Yep. That’s the Hermessi,” Lumi concluded.
“So, what, we wait until midnight, then?” Hunter replied. He didn’t seem happy about that, but I wasn’t sure why. Off the top of my head, I could assume it had to do with the passage of time. Every moment we spent waiting was a moment that his parents, my grandparents, and our friends lived in captivity, stuck inside the diamond dome, while Ta’Zan plotted the end of the world.
Then again, I could think of a few ways for the two of us to kill time.
“Yes,” I said firmly. “Can we please go talk somewhere private, now?”
Hunter blinked rapidly, as if trying to decide on an answer. In the end, he nodded, and I braced myself for a conversation that would either make or break us. My heart was in a lot of pain, my mind suffocated by guilt and grief. The anger I felt toward him was minor, because, deep down, I knew he’d lied in order to spare my feelings.
But this Word connection of mine was blowing everything out of proportion. I felt as though I were in charge of steering a runaway train. Whichever way it went, I was still going to crash, having no control over the beast that amplified my emotions. The best I could do was crash with a minimum amount of damage and casualties.
Kailani
Hunter and I walked in silence for a while, moving along the shore toward the abandoned Draenir settlements. I wasn’t sure how I wanted to start this conversation, but I knew what message I wanted to get across. I just didn’t want to drive a wedge between us, especially since my temper felt like a tinder box ready to explode.
“I know I should’ve—”
“You told Elonora about what I did before you told me,” I cut him off, just as he attempted to start this discussion for me. I didn’t like that. It spoke of impatience, and I had enough of that on my own, already.
Hunter stilled, then turned to look at me. His brows furrowed, and his eyes twinkled with a variety of emotions I couldn’t exactly read. Once more, I would’ve loved some of Elonora’s sentry abilities.
“I didn’t want you to suffer,” he said.
“Hunter, I lost control, and I killed four innocent creatures in the process. And you kept it from me!” I retorted. “I’m not sure you understand how much that hurt! You told someone else before you told me. Me! The one who did it!”
“And I’m sorry, but that was the best judgment I could make at the time!” Hunter said, raising his voice. “You were dazed and shaken, basically out of it! You were terrified when you realized you’d gone into that Word-mode again. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. Hell, I still don’t think you should’ve learned about it. Damn that Cassiel…”
I scoffed. “Oh, so keeping me in the dark is a better idea? What the hell, Hunter? How am I going to trust you if you lie to me?!”
That seemed to hit him right in the chest. I could almost feel his pain, too, but my blood was boiling, and my lips were moving without my consent at this point. I’d tapped into something dark and powerful here, and it was driven by anger, not by hope or determination, or even the will to survive. I loved Hunter, more than anything, but how could I ever build a relationship with him if there was no trust?
“I know you feel betrayed, and you have every reason to feel that way, but, please, try to look at it from my point of view,” Hunter replied. “You can’t see yourself through my eyes. You can’t possibly understand the dread I felt when you lit up like a star and obliterated all those creatures.”
“So what are you trying to say? That you’re afraid of me? I’m only going to get stronger!”
“No, Kale, I’m terrified that it will eat you alive, that I will lose you,” he snapped. “I love you, dammit! We’ve only just… you know, found each other, and I’m horrified at the thought of this Word thing destroying you.”
My heart ached, but I couldn’t let go. I would’ve wanted nothing more than to hold him tight and kiss him at this point. However, my anger was determined not to subside.
“You think so little of me,” I said, “if you think I’ll succumb to this. It’s part of the process, Hunter. I will get back to the surface eventu
ally, but I need people I can trust to be around me. Not someone who chickens out at the first bump and decides it’s better to lie to me. If you’re more worried about hurting my feelings than you are about being truthful with me, what does that say about you?”
Hunter groaned with exasperation, rubbing his face. “I said I was sorry.”
“But you’re still missing the point! I’m strong, Hunter. I can take some truth, just like I can take the fact that I accidentally killed those Draenir,” I replied. “I’m going to have to live with this for the rest of my life, and I’m working through it. I can’t be angry with you for not telling me, on top of that. It’s not helping!”
Silence fell between us for what had to be the longest minute, during which time Hunter didn’t take his eyes off me, his jaw locked and twitching.
“How do I help you, Kale? How can I support you, going forward? How can I ease your transition so that, when it’s all done, you’re still alive and sane and an essential part of my life?” he asked, his voice hoarse.
That should’ve been enough to soften me up, but there was a part of me that was relentless and eager to poke back, as painfully as possible. I could barely recognize myself in that moment, as if someone else was doing the talking for me. The runaway train analogy made even more sense now.
A crash was imminent.
“You can start by trusting me to handle myself. I’m not made of porcelain. I’m not some damsel whose feelings need protecting. I’m a witch, and I’m becoming a swamp witch, too. So maybe start there!” I said.
“You have to tell me more about what you’re going through, Kale. You can’t leave me in the dark here. It’s not fair. These are dire circumstances. I’m sure your oath can bend a little,” he replied.
I shook my head, unable to even think of such an option. “No. I can’t tell anyone about the process. I’ve said it before. It’s imperative to my development. The Word will never fully accept me unless I prove myself worthy. Once it opens up to me and gives me its secrets, I’ll have to be trusted not to share them with anyone. How the hell do you think that’ll work if I can’t even keep my mouth shut about this transition phase?”
Hunter wasn’t at all satisfied by my response. In fact, he was getting more aggravated and, as a result, he was riling me up some more, too.
“Kale… What kind of a transition phase is this, if you lose control like that? If I don’t know what’s happening, how do I stop it the next time you slip into one of those trances?” he asked.
“You don’t. You tell me what I missed, and I deal with it,” I said, keeping my chin up in defiance. Hunter had the makings of an alpha male, and sometimes he manifested that side of himself without even realizing it. This was one such instance, as he towered above me, with a permanent low growl in his throat. “If I can’t trust you to tell me the truth, what makes you think I’ll trust you enough to tell you how the Word’s connection is impacting me?”
“Kale, you almost killed us, too, you know,” he fired back. “Had we not ducked when we did, we would’ve been charred corpses, too.”
I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. I hadn’t thought about that, but, still, there wasn’t much I could do at this point. The process was irreversible, and I had to see it through. I’d already spoken to Lumi about it. Her induction was smoother, back when she first started. Then again, she was home, on Calliope, not at war against a ruthless megalomaniac and his Perfect killing machines.
“You take me as I am, or you don’t. I’m well aware that I’m a possible liability, that I’m bordering the monster side of things. But I can’t help it, nor can I stop it. And you knowing more about it won’t help. It’ll simply jeopardize my induction, and I’ve been through enough already to not want to back down or lose the Word connection, in any way,” I said. “I’m strong enough to keep it together, and I’ll figure it out on my own, soon enough. All you have to do is tell me the truth. Stop treating me like I’m some weak damsel.”
He exhaled, then stared at the lagoon for a while. I crossed my arms, mentally preparing myself for another assault on my swamp witch principles. I knew Hunter well enough to know he wasn’t going to give up so easily. He wanted me to make a concession, and I couldn’t. Not now.
“Kale. I don’t give a rat’s ass about your swamp witch future,” he said firmly. “It’s nothing if you kill yourself in the process, if you lose yourself altogether. I love you, and I will keep loving you until I give my last breath. That much isn’t going to change. But if you don’t let me in, even a little, I don’t know how I’ll be able to just sit back and watch you destroy yourself.”
My heart stopped for a moment. I burst into a cold sweat, as the meaning of his words came through to my tired mind.
“What are you trying to say, Hunter?” I murmured.
“That I don’t want to lose you. But you’ve killed innocent people, and you refuse to accept any kind of help. It’s true, I should’ve told you about what happened, and for that, again, I am sorry. However, I’m worried that you’re headed down a darker path, and that one of us will get hurt the next time. If you won’t talk to me about it, could you at least tell Lumi?”
Rage burned through me. My ego was a tad too much, and I knew it. But, in this moment, I couldn’t stop it.
“Stop talking to me like I’m a little girl,” I replied. “You’re in way over your head, Hunter.”
He nodded slowly, but not as a form of agreement. His nostrils flared with anger.
“You know what, Kale? You do whatever the hell you want. Just be careful. Find a way to control it. And remember that there are people around you who love you,” he snapped, then walked back to the others, leaving me by the cabins.
I watched him go, until my vision got blurry and my eyes started to sting. The wedge had definitely driven itself between us, and it hurt like hell—much like an axe to the roots of a tree. It splintered my core and it made me cry.
The friendzone would’ve been safer now. I would’ve hurt less. But there was no going back to that. Not anymore. All I could do was swallow the hurt, wipe my tears, and keep going. No matter what lay ahead, my only certainty was that the Word would eventually guide me and teach me everything. People came and went, according to Lumi. Even the ones we loved the most, the ones we thought we’d never be able to live without. The only constant in a swamp witch’s life was the Word.
Then, if that was the case, why was I in so much pain? Why did it feel like I’d just pushed the only good thing in my life away? Why was doubt chipping away at my resolve?
I turned toward the abandoned cabins, just to get Hunter off my retinas. It didn’t work. The image of him was forever imprinted in my mind and in my soul. Maybe there was a middle path. Maybe he was right. Maybe I could talk to Lumi some more about the Word, even though she was quite prohibitive about it.
Sure, people came and went. But Hunter wasn’t just any “people.” He was the love of my life.
Vesta
Night fell quietly over the lagoon. I lay down on a slab of stone poking out from the shore, listening to the sound of low waves lapping at its base. The sky above was dark blue, almost black, covered in stars, with a bluish half-moon. The jungle around us chirped and squawked with the many creatures who sought shelter in it.
My heart felt at ease, as if it was directly connected to the lagoon. As if its tranquility filled me to the brim, pushing me into a state of complete relaxation. The others were somewhere nearby, also waiting for midnight, when we’d try to make contact with the Hermessi that had reached out to us.
I wondered if it was watching me now, or maybe listening to my heartbeat the way I listened to the water. I rolled onto my back to get a better look at the sky, thinking about everything that had happened so far. Dmitri had told us about the potential Hermessi cult in the mountain town they’d found, and about Vivienne’s vision. From what I’d been told, she hadn’t experienced one in a very long time, and it depicted the same dream that I and the other fa
e had been having for days now, whenever we closed our eyes.
Everything seemed connected somehow, but I couldn’t find the right thread to pull. It was there, somewhere, probably right under my nose. I just couldn’t see it. Not yet, at least. I sensed that it was only a matter of time before Strava would reveal all of its secrets to me, one at a time.
A silhouette emerged in my field of vision—tall, with broad shoulders and long hair. The smell of Calliope’s seas tickled my nostrils, and I instantly recognized him.
“Zeriel,” I whispered, my heart already racing.
He came to an abrupt stop a few feet away, and stood there, simply looking at me. It was too dark for me to see his face from where I was lying, but somehow I knew he was smiling. My skin tingled as I remembered our kiss in Herakles’s camp. My reaction to the Faulty females coming on to Zeriel still baffled me. I was so possessive, so daring, so unlike myself.
And we hadn’t addressed that episode yet. I had a feeling we’d have to talk about it now, though I didn’t even know what to say. What had driven me to kiss him? I liked him. A lot. Could I tell him that? Nope. I was too much of a coward in the romance department because I had never been with anyone, ever. I’d spent most of my life running from or fighting daemons and Exiled Maras.
The little I knew about romance came from my parents, and that came with some pretty harsh life lessons, given that we were separated at a most crucial time in my life. I could deal with war, fear, grief and anger, survival and the natural elements, easily. Love? Not so much.
“You’ve been here for a while,” Zeriel announced.
“I’m just killing time,” I replied primly, trying to keep my tone cool and steady. “Waiting for midnight.”
I sat up, feeling too vulnerable in front of him, as if he were a predator bird, ready to swoop down and grip me in his talons.
“Ah, I see. We should talk. Though unrelated.”
A Shade of Vampire 66: An Edge of Malice Page 10