by Lucy Monroe
When she told him about Pompella's recommendation for termination, he swore viciously in three languages. She didn't know if it was because the doctor had recommended it or because Rachel had refused to comply.
Having no real desire to find out, she didn't ask.
"Give me your contact information." The abrupt order after all that swearing startled her.
Too unsettled by his unexpected reaction to ask why he wanted both her home and work address as well as every contact number she could be reached at she gave him her details. Even if it did seem like overkill.
"And now, you are all right now?"
"I'm fine." She justified her answer with the thought that they would not have released her from the emergency room if she hadn't been.
"I will talk to you later," he said tersely and rang off.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Rachel stared at the now dead phone in her hands for several seconds.
The sound of surf came in through her open patio doors and the wicker back of her chair rubbed against her shoulder blades like it always did, but she felt distinctly like she'd stepped out of her own little apartment into an alternate reality. One where Sebastian Kouros was not such a pig.
Their discussion had gone nothing like she'd envisioned it. There had been no recriminations, no charge of entrapment, no denials of parentage, though he had not acknowledged his fatherhood either. Shockingly, he hadn't made a single base accusation, if she discounted his assumption she'd gotten married within three months of giving her virginity to him.
And she couldn't really blame him for that. She had given him a different last name.
As far as she could tell, he had not even been angry, but why had he hung up so abruptly?
Maybe he was trying to decide if he believed her. Perhaps, like her, he needed time to come to terms with what was happening. She hadn't exactly faced up to reality all in one go and for him, it had to be even worse. He'd ditched her and now she came up pregnant, a woman he didn't want, didn't trust and had obviously hoped never to see again.
The other side of her nightmare being pregnant by a man who could be such an arrogant slime.
Only he had not reacted like he was in a nightmare. If she could believe her own ears, she would have to say that the tone of voice she'd heard the most from his end had been relief, closely followed by concern. How could a man who believed she was the lowest of the low be worried about her?
There was black humor in the situation if she allowed herself to see it, but instead of laughing she felt a painful twinge in her heart. She'd been numb emotionally for months and she didn't welcome this sign her feelings might be coming back to torment her. Then she realized in all likelihood it was an actual physical ache caused by her condition.
It had to be. She had nothing left inside her heart to react to him on an emotional level.
Thoughts of Sebastian, the baby and her medical condition whirled around in Rachel's mind like perpetual motion spinners making it impossible for her to sleep that night.
He hadn't called back and she didn't know what that meant. No matter how many times she went back over the phone conversation, she got no closer to unraveling the puzzle of the man who had fathered her child and then rejected her with such devastating cruelty.
Added to that, fear for the future and the health of her unborn baby kept her emotions keyed to nerve-racking levels of tension. She tried to find a comfortable position to sleep, but no matter which way she turned, she could not get her body to relax enough for somnolent rest. Finally, her blankets and sheets in a tangle, she gave up and got out of the bed.
A cup of hot milk always helped in books, so she zapped some in the microwave, added a bit of sugar and vanilla because it sounded good and drank it.
She didn't feel appreciably more tired or relaxed, but she went back to her bedroom, determined to get some rest. The messy pile of sheets, askew pillows and her royal blue silk comforter attested to her restless night. She would have to remake her bed before she could even think of getting back into it.
She had fluffed her pillows, put them back on the bed and was snapping the top sheet into place when her doorbell rang. A quick glance at the bedside clock told her it was three in the morning. The doorbell pealed again, it's long drawn out sound, insistent on an answer.
The pale blue sheet fluttered from her fingers and she stared at her bedroom doorway, undecided about whether or not to answer that summons. She could not think of anyone who might visit her in the middle of the night. None of her mother's friends had her current address and none of the people she knew would be so discourteous.
The insistent peal came again and irresistibly drawn by the summons, but nervous about what it could mean, she padded along the carpeted hallway to the front door. She stopped in front of it, adrenaline rushing through her, making her heart beat too quickly for comfort.
A fist pounded against the steel door and she pressed a hand against her breastbone, trying to steady her heart rate as she looked through the peephole. At first she saw only a snow white dress shirt, looking less than pristine, undone at the neck and no tie. She couldn't see the man's face, but she would recognize him on her deathbed.
Sebastian.
She flipped the locks, dismissing the adrenaline rush she felt at the surprise at seeing him, then flung the door open.
Her lips parted in order to greet him, but silence issued forth, not sound.
His eyes were dark as slate with unnameable emotion and set in a face that looked almost haggard in its tiredness. He was thinner than the last time she'd seen him, as if he'd been ill recently and stress lines bracketed his mouth. The past three months must have been pretty hairy businesswise for him to look so worn.
Her hand went out toward him in an involuntary bid to confirm the reality of her vision with touch, her mind unable to accept that Sebastian Kouros was actually standing on the other side of her entry.
He reached out and grabbed her hand in his bigger one just as her heart started galloping madly again. Her breath came in short gasps and she prayed she was not about to pass out again.
She didn't get the chance.
He moved with lightning speed to swing her into his arms and carry her back inside. "Where is the bedroom?''
She pointed down the hallway and he carried her to it, laying her down right on top of the sheet she'd just spread smoothly over the bed. The gentle sway of the waterbed mattress added to her feeling of disorientation.
"Are you all right? Do you need a doctor?"
"No. The shock of seeing you... It... I just got a little breathless, that's all."
He tensed. "I should have called to warn you of my arrival, but I thought of nothing but getting to you from the moment you called."
He couldn't mean it like it sounded, that he had been out of his head with missing her.
"Because of the baby," she surmised, latching onto the real reason for his apparent concern quickly.
He might not accept he was the father, but family loyalty would make him check. Her brain told her there was something wrong with that reasoning, but she was too enervated to figure out what.
His mouth set in a grim line. "That is no doubt what you believe."
"Isn't it the truth?" Nothing was making much sense at the moment.
It was the wee hours of the morning, she was tired and seeing Sebastian always threw her off balance, but even so, the conversation wasn't going in any discernable direction she would have expected.
Just like earlier on the phone.
"I was concerned about our child, yes, but I was concerned also for you."
Remembering how easily he had evicted her from his life and under what circumstances, she shook her head. She was tired, not stupid.
"I find that impossible to believe."
He nodded, his expression bleak. "I knew this would be so."
Bully for him. It didn't take a genius brain to figure out how little he cared for her.
"Yes."
"You believe the baby is yours?"
"Yes."
"You don't want tests?" She couldn't take it in.
"There will be no tests."
Air she had not realized she'd trapped in her lungs expelled in a big rush.
His lips twisted in a cynical smile. "You look surprised, pethi mou.''
"Thoroughly shocked more like."
"Then the rest of what I have to say will no doubt leave you gasping for breath." His gaze roamed over her with undisguised concern. The man really wanted to be a father. "Perhaps it is best left until morning."
"You're leaving?" she gasped, struggling to sit up.
Totally against what she knew to be best for her, she did not want him to go, could not stand the thought of being alone again.
Lowering his big body to the waterbed frame beside her, he pressed back against her shoulders, keeping her in place. "Relax. I am going nowhere."
"But..."
"I will sleep on your couch tonight and we will talk in the morning."
Since her couch was a wicker settee that would have left her cramped, she couldn't picture it.
"You would be more comfortable in a hotel." She hated saying it, but knew it to be the truth.
He shook his head, his black hair glinting under her bedroom's overhead light. “I do not want you out of my sight again."
"Don't be silly. You can come back in the morning. I'll still be here."
"You are not safe on your own, Rachel." His fingers tightened on her shoulders. "Until you are on the right medications, your health is at risk."
She moved a little and he looked at his hands.
Relaxing his hold on her with a chagrined expression, he said, "I am sorry."
"I can't take medication. The doctor said so." Well, perhaps that was not exactly what Pompella had said, but everything about the appointment was hazy after Rachel learned she was pregnant.
"The doctor should have her medical license revoked. This is not true." Derision laced his words.
Her fingernails bit into her hands as they curled into fists. "I won't take anything that puts the baby at risk."
"I would not ask you to."
She calmed down again, disturbed at how good the warmth of his hands on her shoulders felt.
He removed them, standing up. "Perhaps you have some extra bedding for your sofa?"
"You'll never be able to sleep on it." She got up too and retrieved her royal blue silk quilt from where she'd tossed it on the floor earlier.
She finished making her bed, her mind offering a solution that she wondered if she had the courage to offer.
"I will not leave you alone." The fierceness of his tone left her in no doubt he meant what he said. "If that means sleeping on the floor, I will do so."
"I knew you would protect the baby once you realized it was yours." The words slipped out before she thought better of them.
"So, at least you trusted me that much."
She shrugged, supposing he was right. Her belief in his commitment to family was a trust of sorts and it hadn't been misplaced...not like her belief in his integrity as a lover.
She sighed and eyed the king size water bed that took up most of her small bedroom. She'd gotten it for a song when two of her neighbors moved in together. It was a small apartment complex on the beach and though she was introverted in many ways, she'd gotten to know most of her neighbors well enough that she'd been offered the bed first off.
It was definitely big enough for her and Sebastian to sleep with an ocean of space between them.
A year ago, she would have been terrified to share a bed with him platonically, afraid she would give away her desire for him in her sleep. She no longer felt anything like that. And after the way he'd booted her from his bed two and a half months ago, she wasn't worried about him taking the invitation the wrong way.
"You can sleep in here."
“I will not allow you to be evicted from your bed.'' He sounded really pained.
She actually smiled.
It had been a while and her cheeks felt tight from the effort. "I wasn't offering to sleep elsewhere. The bed is a California king. We can both sleep in it all night without touching."
Sebastian said nothing in reply to her false assumption, too dumbfounded that she had offered to share her bed.
"You do not mind me sleeping in here with you?" he asked in amazement.
Her green gaze did not waver. “The sexual side of our relationship is over for both of us, so I'm not worried about you trying to take advantage."
Her words stung his pride. "I did not take advantage before. You were with me all the way."
"Not all the way, Sebastian. I didn't go with you on your nasty minded mental journey that left you convinced I was a living replica of my mother."
No, she had not. He had made that journey all by himself and could blame no one but himself for the results.
Her small bow mouth twisted in a worried frown. "The truth is, I'm afraid."
"Of what are you afraid?"
She yawned, her eyes red with fatigue. "I don't want to faint like I did at work with no one around to make sure the baby is all right."
“You fainted?'' He'd practically shouted the words, but she'd told him she was fine.
Her expression perturbed, she bit her lip.
“Tell me the truth, pethi mou.''
"I'm not a liar, no matter what you'd like to believe," she bristled.
"You told me you were fine." He hadn't meant that to sound like he was accusing her of dishonesty, but her expression told him that was how she'd taken his words.
"I was...am fine. They would not have released me from the hospital if I hadn't been."
"You were in the hospital?" His insides clenched in fury and fear.
She had been ill enough to go to the hospital and he had not even known. He would not contemplate what would have happened if she had not called him to tell him where she was. His investigator would have found her eventually, Hawk was too good at his job to have failed, but success could have come too late.
"It was just the emergency room. My coworkers called the ambulance when I passed out."
He shook his head. They would have to talk about her job tomorrow as well. Working under the current circumstances was insane, but he did not expect her to see that.
"I think it is time we went to bed."
She nodded, smothering another yawn with her hand, a hand that should be wearing his wedding ring. He waited until she got into the bed before turning off the light and joining her. Rachel's breathing smoothed into an even pattern denoting sleep almost immediately.
He had a hard time taking in how easily she had slept. He was too keyed up for sleep. He had ached to see her again, to share her bed and those things had come to pass, but not like he had expected them to.
She had not wanted to see him, but had forced herself to call for the sake of their unborn child and she had allowed him into her bed only because she believed the sexual side of their relationship was over. He did not agree, but acknowledged it might take him some time to make her see things his way.
He had hurt her badly. However, she had been too responsive before his slide into temporary insanity to completely shut him out on a physical level.
If he did not believe that, he would have no hope at all for their future.
He certainly wasn't going to reach her any time soon on a emotional level. She didn't trust him worth a drachma.
Using the passion between them was the only way he could think to bind her to him at present, but he could not employ it yet. Such a move would not be safe for her until she was on the medications the doctor he had consulted told him about and he was determined not to hurt her again.
In any way.
He could and would control his urge to seduce, but he had made no promises not to touch her in th
e night. She'd made that assertion they could sleep together without touching. He knew that for him, such a thing would not be possible. Not after ten weeks of searching for her only to find her in peril from her health and pregnant with his child.
He waited until she was in deep sleep before gently pulling her into his arms, and allowing himself to slip into much needed sleep with them wrapped tightly around her.
For the second time, Sebastian woke up beside Rachel.
It felt right. He savored her unique scent and the feel of her warm silky skin against his. She slept in an oversize T-shirt which had ridden up so that they were thigh to naked thigh. He'd come to bed in his boxers and been surprised she had not objected at all to his lack of clothing, but then she said she no longer wanted him.
The sex was over for her.
He counted the days before he could challenge that assumption. However, he would not push her tolerance of his presence by allowing her to wake up in their current compromising position.