I instantly do as I’m told. Back straight up, looking at him, pleading silently, please, not tonight. I was exhausted. He hadn’t allowed me to sleep for two days. He called it endurance training. Sometimes he looked at me with such tenderness, then other times, like today, he looked at me with such malice. I was a killer, a murderer of so many, yet this man had reduced me to a whipping boy.
He circled around me, almost prowling. I looked straight ahead, trying to not let my head drop. “You almost let him get away. You disgust me. Why should I keep you, cumslut?” He bent down and hissed in my ear.
“Because I love you.” I whispered. My heart aching at his words. The man had almost overpowered me, not because he was stronger, but because I hadn’t had any sleep and I was tired.
His face softened. “And I love you. That is why I do this. For you.” The crack of the whip on my back toppled me over.
“Get back up.”
I got back up. I knew if I didn’t it would be worse. Four more lashes, broken skin, and tears in the corner of my eyes were all it took for him to stop.
“Take a shower. You may sleep in bed with me tonight.” He walked away.
I was almost hoping for my spot on the floor so I could have uninterrupted rest. Sleeping with him came at a price. Taking a quick shower, I made myself just walk in and get it over with.
He was ready laying on the bed, gorgeous, he still made my mouth water. “I know you’re tired so just come lay on the bed. Lay on your stomach.”
I should turn around and leave, I kept thinking to myself. I could walk out that door and never look back. Who the hell was I kidding? I was so bound to him in servitude, I couldn’t imagine not having him there to tell me what to do.
Trembling and pissed at myself I lay face down on the king size mattress. I felt him part my cheeks and drizzle lube in between my crack. His expert fingers found their mark as they worked their way in, stretching, massaging, until I felt them replaced by the tip of his cock. Pressing in, I could feel the pressure expanding me, the burning that was still there after all these years.
“You are still so goddamned tight.” He uttered, sucking in a deep breath.
He thrusted in and out, then deeply all the way in. “Now lean into me and turn on your side.” He whispered.
We would sleep like that all night with him inside me. If he came out, I would be punished, so it meant I had to stay conscious throughout the night to make sure he stayed in. He wrapped his arm around my stomach, kissed my ear, then said goodnight.
I would doze off every now and then but felt every rustle of the bed. Every hour I looked at the clock. At around three in the morning, he woke up because he needed to pee. “You don’t mind, do you?” He laughed. Then he pissed inside of me. “Roll back on your stomach now. Don’t let a drop of that come out. In the morning when I get up, I will allow you to go clean yourself, but not before.”
For the first time in my life, I wanted to break down and cry full on. This may possibly be the worst degradation he had done to me. Making me a receptacle for his urine. He turned his back to me, while I lay on my stomach, clenching so none of the liquid dripped out.
I lay there and thought about what would he do if he woke up and I was gone. Just vanished. Would he even care? Then I get that old familiar pain in my chest, that fucking abhorrence we call love. It is a vile, nasty creature, this thing my heart feels. Is he worth the heartbreak? Although I fucking hate myself for this, he really is.
I can’t imagine my life without him.
Chapter Four
Revelations
The next day, he woke up, smirked at me, patted my ass then told me to get up carefully and go take a shower. He went straight to the kitchen to make coffee. I waited until he left, knowing there was no way to get up without some coming out, then I grabbed my robe that was hanging on the bedpost, which was super fluffy and hopefully, absorbent. Rolling over on top of the robe, I managed to get up, clenching tightly, and made my way to the bathroom to expel his waste and mine. I was disgusted with him, but mostly with myself.
I started the shower, then walked out to grab the robe on the bed so I could throw it in the hamper. I heard him in the other room on his phone saying he would gladly go to the field office and help any way he could. A lot of yes sirs, and of course sirs, then he said goodbye to who he was talking to. I ran back to the bathroom so he didn’t catch me eavesdropping.
He stepped in the steamy water with me. Washing my hair, he said, “I have to go out of town for a couple of days. There seems to be some discrepancies in their book keeping, to the sum of a million dollars.”
“Wow.”
“Yes. So I need to go straighten it out. I know you don’t like to be alone, but I need you to be here. I have things being delivered for the New Year’s Eve party coming, and I need you to make sure it gets in the house safely.” He handed me the loofah so I could clean him. He was right, since we had gotten together, I preferred not to be alone. However, after the last few months and all the brutality, it would be a welcomed vacation.
“You may sleep on my bed. Would you like that?” He looked at me expectantly.
“I will probably just sleep on my bed on the floor.”
“Of course.” He said tightly. “I was under the disillusion you might actually miss me when I was gone.”
“I will miss you.” I had hurt his feelings. “It will just hurt more to smell your scent and not be able to touch you.” I lied to him.
“Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. Yes, that makes sense.” His expression softened, “You may not hunt while I am gone. You have plenty of chores and workouts to keep you busy. Understand?” His eyes pierced me.
“Yes Sir.” He didn’t want me to hunt without him. It was thrilling to him, even though he liked to punish me after.
I was positively giddy after the shower, although I couldn’t let him know. He had made me cut ties with Edgar when I moved in with him. I couldn’t see him or talk to him at all. I just chalked it up as a jealousy issue. I knew Edgar would want me to be happy so I agreed at the time. But now, if I was actually going to be alone, would it hurt to reach out to him? It was just a phone call.
After ticking off a list of what deliveries to expect, he gave me a code of when to answer the phone. He would let it ring three times, hang up, then call back. Then I would know to answer. I wasn’t allowed to answer on a general basis. He took his packed bag out to the car. Coming back in, he walked over to me.
“Don’t disappoint me Chaos. I don’t want to have to chain you up like your father did your mother. I only do the things I do to help you become a better person. Do you understand that?” I lifted my eyes and looked at the sincerity in his. I nodded, although honestly, I didn’t understand why he did the shit he did.
My father wasn’t cruel to Marseilla. He didn’t whip her. He didn’t abuse her to look good for his friends. Langley could never be as good as my father. Instantly I regretted thinking that. Langley took me in and taught me what love was. As fucked up, cruel, and sadistic as it was, he at least chose me to love.
He was gone so I decided to start on my chores. That was one very big thing we both had in common. We couldn’t stand dirt or dust. Everything had a place and there was a place for everything. My father instilled it in me when I was young.
As I was cleaning, I was running through ideas on how to get in contact with my brother. Having a twin was like an extension of yourself. I felt like I lost a piece of myself when I was cut off. This last year it had hit me really hard. I didn’t feel him in my soul at all. No dreams, no anything. I really needed to hear his voice. And what Langley didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt him.
I wasn’t allowed in his office, but that was where the computer was, and if I was going to find Edgar, I needed it. I knew how to cover my tracks by deleting the history.
I walked inside and smiled. It was totally Langley. I inhaled smelling his scent. The desk was a deep cherry wood with a leather high back chair. He had a b
ook case across the room from him on both sides of the door. One side was filled with classic books, informational books, and periodicals. The other case seemed to be filled with compact discs, movies or files of some kind. That was bizarre but probably something for his job.
I turned the laptop on, it sprang to life. The password was easy enough, it was his birthday. Typing Edgar’s name in the search engine yielded no results. I tried the alias he had used when we were kids. He hated his name. It came back with the address he lived in where I met Langley. I reverse addressed it and got his phone number. I was nervous and excited. That was, until I dialed it. It was disconnected.
I searched more, finding nothing. Something niggled at the back of my mind as search engine after search engine and still there was no trace. It was as if Edgar never existed. A pop-up screen kept interrupting my surfing, asking me if I wanted to play the disc in the drive. Finally, I pushed yes just out of frustration, more than curiosity.
The scene that popped up was like déjà vu. Probably because I had been there, it was me. It was the kill the night before. Langley must’ve recorded it. I watched as I gutted the mark, then as he fucked me over the body after he licked the blood off of my fingers.
I was so fucking pissed I was shaking. Surely, he realized how dangerous this was to have on video. One, it without a doubt proved we, not just me, were serial killers, and two, goddammit, it broke my fucking trust in him.
The doorbell startled me out of my consternation. Delivery. Right. I headed to the door to receive the four cases of champagne from the driver. He smiled, thanking me, and drove away.
I truly wasn’t going to go back in, I was just going to put the forty-eight bottles of alcohol he had ordered for the New Year’s Eve party away, but remembered I left the computer on. There was so much more for me to watch, and I would find out how much of our lives he had recorded.
Chapter Five
Disbelief
Walking by the bookshelf, it triggered my curiosity, if he had one video of our depravity, did he video them all? I needed to find out. I pulled the front stack down. Much to my displeasure, he had recorded every single one, including the day we met. What did he do, Re-watch them all and get off? I wasn’t okay with this. I was alright with a lot of the shit he did, even let him do things that bothered me, but this is where I drew the line. Who was he showing this to?
It occurred to me, all those videos couldn’t possibly be us. I hadn’t killed that many people. I questioned myself on and off for an hour. Should I, or shouldn’t I? Did that make me as bad as him, looking at his private things? But then again, should his shit be private if I am part of it? Fuck it, I was leaning towards packing my stuff and being MIA when he returns, so I might as well be all in to see what he really is in to.
I looked at the videos, realizing they had dates. Each one, was worse than the previous one. The first recording, before he met me, was at a club scening with a sub. He was sadistic, making the sub bloody, telling him to say his safe word if it was too much, but made sure the ball gag was secure so he couldn’t say anything.
Langley couldn’t get an erection until the man who was restrained was covered in welts and dripping with blood. He fucked him mercilessly, then took his gag out, when the man sobbed his safe word.
This was the mildest of the videos. After watching several of them recorded at the club, I picked up the last five he made that weren’t with me. I thought they were all before me, until I saw one of the years coincided with the time he and I were together.
I decided to watch the last one he did before we met. My mouth dropped opened in shock as I realized there was a human tied up like a pig on a pit that was turning over a large fire. I could hear Langley laughing in the background as he videoed the scene. They were on a patch of land that was cleared in between someone’s property.
The man had an apple shoved in his mouth, but it looked like his jaw was broken so the apple was shoved all the way in. You could hear his sobs of pain as the flames licked him.
The women and men around him were adding injuries by hitting him with rocks, poking him with sticks, and shouting nasty slurs. Taunting him about how good he would taste, the man screamed as loud as he could with the fruit shoved in as his clothes were engulfed with flames. It was eight long grueling minutes before he was completely silent.
I was a killer. I am a killer. But that was sadistic and cruel even to someone like me. I took a deep breath and put the disc in with the date on it where we had been together for a little over a year.
When the video came up, it was the same group of people at the same area, but this time the pit was empty. Langley was front and center. “Bring him to me.” Langley motioned to the person behind the camera.
A mammoth of a man dragged another man who looked beat up over to where Langley stood, dropping him at his feet.
With a hard kick in the stomach, the man threw up on Langley’s feet. Langley smiled at the man coldly, “I told you if you tried to contact Chaos, I would snuff you out. He belongs to me.”
My heart started yammering. In disbelief, I saw Edgar’s face as he looked up off the ground, smiling at Langley telling him to fuck off. No one owned his brother.
Langley motioned at the small group. They came over, kicking, punching and spitting on Edgar. He rolled into a fetal position to try and fend them off. Two of the beefier men, grabbed his arms, secured them, doing the same with his legs.
One of the women walked over, spit in his face, then unzipped his pants, yanking them down. “I don’t believe I’ll be the one getting fucked, I believe that pleasure we saved for you.” The group laughed as Langley motioned for them to bend him over.
Beefcake number one pulled a three-inch pipe out. Edgar flinched thinking he was going to get hit with it. The sheer panic drawn all over his face as they came in between his legs, let him know their intentions.
“Give me the pleasure, please.” Langley traded places with the giant. He took the pipe and shoved it in his rectum without preamble. It gave massive resistance, along with Edgar’s scream of shock mixed with immense pain, then Langley smashed the end of the pipe with a mallet so it would go all the way in.
“Now tie him to the pit.”
They carried the unconscious man to the contraption, tying him onto it securely, not being able to straighten his body out. Using smelling salts, they woke him up. He sputtered as he came back to consciousness, having urine aimed at his face and mouth. They were taking turns pissing on him.
I wanted to turn it off then, I wanted to burn this mother fucker to the ground. I wanted to hurt Langley like he had never been hurt before. But it was like a train wreck, and I couldn’t stop watching.
One of the women took an axe then chopped both of his feet off. She laughed then taunted him, “I cut your feet restraints. If you can get away before I catch you, I will let you go.”
Langley doubled over laughing. I felt like my world crashed. If he hadn’t showed them the movies, he told them. That was what my family told people we hunt. Of course, we didn’t cut their feet off first.
Not only did he kill my brother, he shared all of our secrets. Why? Who was this man who I devoted my heart to? And most importantly, how and when would I get retribution?
I stopped the video, taking it and all the ones that captured my kills with me. I looked up on the search engine how to erase all data from a computer. It showed me how to reset to factory settings so I did that, just on the off chance it could be salvaged from the fire.
He had a lockbox in his desk and several files with personal papers I took to research him.
I planned to grab my stuff, take his stash of extra money he kept for emergencies, and burn that house down. He believed I would never steal from him, so he never bothered to lock his money up. I wouldn’t be there when he got back. At some point we would meet again. On my terms.
Chapter Six
Research
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t heartbroken. I may no
t be the most stable person in the world, but I was a human with flesh and bones and feelings. I truly worshipped that man at one point. As the flames licked the roof of the house and I could hear the sirens blaring down the street, I realized this is truly all love was. A disintegrating abhorrence.
I shook my head, turning around in the cab I was in. I just needed to get to the family cabin, grab some contact stuff, and disappear for a while. I needed to change my name for just a bit until I figured out what or who Langley was.
Trying to figure it all out was hard. I tried to stay off the grid, no cellphones, computers or anything electronic that could be tracked. This search was old fashioned, and even if I spent all my life looking, I would not give up.
After nine months of looking and searching, I still had little to go on with Langley. I went to different clubs I knew he had frequented before, tried to pay people for information, but either they knew nothing, or they wouldn't say anything.
My break came one night as I went to have a drink at a bar downtown. It was about closing time, when I noticed one of the men I had seen in Langley's videos, completely drunk, sputtering words that nobody understood. The bartender was irritated, about to call a cab for him, but I interrupted him before he did.
"I know this man; he is an old friend of mine. I can take him home." I said to the bartender. He didn't really care for him, he just wanted to close the bar so he let me take him without question.
I took the man to my place, dumped him in the basement where all my hunting equipment was stored. I tied him up to a wooden chair. As much as it disgusted me to have him here, I couldn't kill him, not yet anyways. I needed information, and I would get it one way or another.
I grabbed some necessary interrogation tools. Slapping the man so he would wake up, he opened his eyes with a confused look on his face. “Where the fuck am I?” He asked agitated, trying to wriggle out of the restraints.
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