“He punched you?” Dad was furious. “I’ll kill him.”
“I overreacted.” Ben stared at Lilly and Griffen with one eye. “Sorry if I embarrassed you guys.”
“If you had gotten clobbered, it would have been embarrassing,” Lilly said. “But you left on a high note.”
Griffen grinned. “Man, you shoulda seen the look on Weekly’s face when you threw him halfway across the field.”
“What?” Ben’s mother said.
“You really clocked him!” Griffen said. “It was cool!”
“It’s nothing, Mom. It’s just part of being a guy.”
Griffen said, “Man, that was supercool! I’m glad you decked Weekly.” Anger had seeped into his voice. “He’s a real asshole.” The kid looked at the adults. “Sorry.”
“He is an asshole,” Dad said.
Ben adjusted the ice pack. “C’mon, kids. Let’s get home. It’s late.”
“You aren’t going anywhere.” Dad stood up. “I’ll take them home. And if that jerk ever touches you again, I will sue his family until they’re begging for mercy.”
Ben smiled. That’s how lawyers attacked. They sued.
Laura said, “Is this going to come back to bite you, Ben?”
“Nah, it was off campus. But even if it were on campus, no one’s gonna say anything. It’s just guys being guys.”
“Especially because Weekly was drunk.”
“You took Haley to where there was alcohol?” Mom was aghast.
Lilly said, “If Ben didn’t go, she would have gone with Griff’s sister. I told her she was being stupid, but who listens to me?”
“It’s true,” Griffen said. “Ben had to go to keep a watch over Haley.”
“He should have brought her home and let me deal with her anger,” Mom announced. “I am going to talk to that girl right now!”
Ben held her arm. “You don’t need her crap. Let me handle it.”
“I’m her mother!” Then she deflated. “I am so tired of all this!”
“C’mon, Mom. It doesn’t happen very often. You relax and let her yell at me.”
“He’s right,” Dad told her. “Don’t stress. If she starts screaming at you, you’ll get upset.”
“I’m already upset.”
“It’s late, Mom. I have to talk to Haley anyway. She’s furious at me.”
“Why is she so mad at you for defending her?”
“Because at the moment she thinks I’m ruining her life.”
“Oh, for God’s sakes!” His mom’s eyes were wet. “You think that after all that has happened, at least we could all get along.”
“We do get along. This is normal stuff. And unlike the real problems, this will pass.” Ben readjusted his ice pack. “Go rest, okay?”
Defeated, she retreated to the bedroom and slammed the door. After his father left with Lilly and Griffen, Ben knocked on Haley’s door.
“Go away.”
“Open up the door or I’ll pick the lock.” A moment later the lock sprang back and Ben walked inside. Haley’s face was full of utter contempt. “You had to pick on the most popular boy in school.”
“Second most popular. JD is number one.”
“Well, he’s a lot cuter than JD. I hate you.”
“Haley, he was disrespecting you.”
“If he’s disrespecting me, let me handle it. Not you. Me!” She threw a pillow at Ben. “Now I’m gonna get tortured by everyone and it’s all your fault! It’s bad enough you’re a geek. Why do you have to bring me down to your level?”
“I may be a geek, but Weekly’s an asshole.”
“It’s my life, Ben. Just butt out.”
“I know Weekly much better than you do. He’s an ass. Most boys are asses.”
“You’re an ass.”
“I’m an ass but I love you.”
She threw another pillow at him. “God, how am I going to show my face on Monday?”
“I promise I’ll keep a low profile, all right?”
“Too late for that.” Her fists were balled up in fury. “God, why did Ellen have to die?”
Her words hit him like a wrecking ball. Even if he had a comeback, his voice would have stuck in his throat.
In the few seconds of ensuing silence, Haley realized what she had blurted out. She was genuinely horrified. “I didn’t mean it that way, Ben.” Tears formed. “I just thought about sisters and—”
“’S’right.” Ben stood up. “No explanation needed. Sometimes I wonder about that myself.” He left, gently shutting the door behind him.
He collapsed onto his bed with searing pain in his head. Haley was knocking at his door a moment later. He still couldn’t talk.
Haley said, “Ben, open up.” She was crying audibly. “Please? I’m so sorry.”
Exhaling, he got up and opened the door. Then he plunked back down on his mattress. When she turned on the light, he told her to turn it off.
Haley was at the foot of his bed. “I didn’t mean it like that.” She was sobbing between breaths. “I just . . . sometimes wonder . . . what it would have been like to have a sister . . . but not instead of a brother.” She was digging the knife in deeper. More sobs. “I’d die if anything happened to you.” She attempted to hug him. Teardrops fell on his shirt. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s all right, Haley. I’m not mad. And I’m sure that Ellen would have handled it better than I did. She was socially adroit.”
“I’m so sorry!” Haley wailed.
Ben was too tired to be patient. “Look, I know I get on your nerves sometimes. It’s okay. Go get some sleep.”
“I hate myself.”
“Just shut up. You’re acting silly.”
“Why does everything bad have to happen to me?”
Ben had no answer for that one. “Go get some sleep. Come on. I’ll walk you to your room. Let’s both get some rest.”
His mother caught him just as he was about to close the door to his room. “You’re going to have a big bruise.” She gave him a bottle of Advil. “You may need this.”
Ben managed a sick smile. “Thanks.”
“How’s Haley? Are you two still fighting?”
“Nope. I told her to get some sleep. You do that too.”
Mom sighed. “Ben, I know that sometimes I’m a little absent—”
“Mom—”
“No, let me get this out. I really appreciate all that you’ve done. Sometimes when Dad is working late hours, I know I lean on you. It’s a big burden.”
Her insight surprised him. “Truth is, it makes me feel useful.”
She kissed his cheek. “Try to get some rest.”
“Sure.” In the privacy of his sanctuary, he stripped off his clothes, put on pajamas, took three Advil, and crawled into bed. Ten minutes later Haley knocked on the door.
Shit.
“It’s open.”
She came in. “Are you still mad at me? I’d hate you if you said that to me.”
“That’s the difference between us. I’m mature and you’re not. Go to sleep.”
“Can I sleep here tonight? On the trundle?”
“Haley, either you’re eleven or fourteen. Which is it?”
She sighed and left.
Peace at last.
Ben closed his eyes. He knew he’d eventually fall asleep because that’s what the body did. As far as restorative sleep went, well, that was as elusive as good dreams.
Chapter 7
On Monday, Ben felt the whispers behind his back, feeding his already hyperdeveloped paranoia. He avoided people by coming into classes a few minutes late and bolting out as soon as the bell rang. Lunch was the problem. If he showed up, there’d be a confrontation. If he didn’t show up, he’d look like a pussy. In his mind, action was better than avoidance.
Sitting at his table, he watched them watch him, their chairs arranged in a tight circle around their table. None of the guys had ever been shy about using their fists. Finally, JD slowly got up and walked over, his height and girth me
ant to intimidate.
Without looking up, Ben said, “Yes?”
JD spun a chair around and sat down, leaning his chest against the splat. He kept his voice low. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” When Ben didn’t answer, he threw his head back. “It’s Weekly, dude! You’re fucking wack!”
“Any other good cheer you care to spread, Santa?”
JD looked at him with lazy eyes. “Say something to Weekly, Vicks.” A pause. “Not for me, for Ro. She’s . . . conflict phobic.”
Ben fixed his eyes on JD’s face. The dude wasn’t a bad guy. Nor was Weekly. Ben did overreact. He glanced at Haley, who was looking at him.
The things he did for his siblings . . . both of them.
“Okay,” Ben said. “I’ll say something, but not for you, Ro, or Weekly or anyone else in your posse. I’ll do it for my sister because I embarrassed her.”
“Whatever.” Neither of them moved. JD said, “What’s with you and Ro anyway? Why is she always talking to you?”
“She’s a friendly girl. If it bothers you, I won’t talk to her.”
“It doesn’t bother me. I’m just curious.”
Ben didn’t answer. He stood up and, without waiting for JD, walked across the room. Ro had been sitting between Weekly and JD. Ben saw her push her chair away from Weekly to make room for him. Instead he sat behind Weekly on the outside of the circle.
Ben said, “You’re an asshole, but I was an idiot.”
Weekly said, “Yeah, I was an asshole, but I was drunk. I had an excuse. You’re just an asshole.”
“An idiot maybe but not an asshole,” Ben said.
“Open to debate,” Weekly said. “If you ever knee me like that again, I’ll kill you.”
“Have you seen my face?”
“Think about it, Vicks. A black eye or your dick?”
A protracted moment of silence. The guy was making a point. Reluctantly, the two of them fist-bumped. “Enjoy.” Ben got up and walked out of the room.
Just get through the rest of the fucking day. When the final bell rang, Ben was determined not to act like a fugitive. Walk slowly. Be calm. He missed the combination to his locker on the first try. The second time was the charm. As he was sorting through his books, he heard Ro’s voice.
“Hey . . .”
He turned around. “What?”
“You’re mad at me.”
“JD doesn’t like me talking to you.” Ben threw his books in his knapsack.
“He said that?”
“Go ask him. I’ve gotta go.”
She followed him out to the bike rack. “Can we talk for a second?”
“No, we can’t. And thanks for sticking up for me, by the way. I really enjoyed feeling like an ass at your behest.”
“My behest?”
“You asked me to come. I came. Now I’m not only a weirdo, I’m an idiot. Please leave me alone, okay.” He missed the combination on the bike lock and started over.
Ro said, “So you always have to agree with someone to be friends?”
This time the lock took three tries. Ben stood up, brushed off his jeans, and extracted his bike from the rack. Ro gripped her fingers around the handlebar. “Look. Weekly is an ass, but he wasn’t really doing anything to your sister. Yes, he’s a jerk, but he isn’t a pervert—”
“Stop!” Ben lowered his voice. “Just . . . stop!” He focused on her baby blues. They were wet. “Stop defending Weekly, stop telling me I’m wrong, and please stop talking to me, okay?”
She didn’t answer.
Ben dropped his hands to his sides. “I don’t know why you’ve taken me on as your pet project. Well, I do know why. Everyone knows why. I don’t need your pity or anyone else’s pity, okay?”
“That’s true. You have enough self-pity for the entire world.”
Had she been a guy, he would have decked her. Instead he made himself look at her face. “That’s not just cruel, that’s bordering on unforgivable. No one is that horrible. What the hell is going on with you?”
She suddenly deflated. Her eyes gushed water.
“Oh God . . . don’t cry . . .” Ben hated when girls cried. When anyone cried, for that matter. He had witnessed enough tears for a second flood. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I know it’s hard coming to a new school—”
“It’s not that!” Fat wet droplets were pouring down her cheeks. “I’m not crying for myself . . . well, I am crying for myself. I mean, who better to cry for than me? But it’s not because I was uprooted.” She wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her blouse. She paused to steady her voice. “I lost my sister, Vicks. I thought I might have found someone who could relate . . . for my sake, not yours. I told you I’m selfish.”
“Stunned” was an okay adjective but incomplete for the way he felt. Ben brought his hand to his mouth. When people discovered his situation, they never knew what to say. It was strange to be on the other side. He stuttered out, “When?”
“Two and a half years ago.” Ro wiped her eyes again. “June sixteenth.” When he continued to stare at her, she said, “I know. Effectively, we lost our sisters who were the same age at the same time.”
“How . . . do you know? The date, I mean? My sister’s date.” He knew he was rambling. “Not your sister. I mean, you know your sister’s date.”
“I looked up the case as soon as Shannon told me about you.” She dried her eyes again on her shirt. “It was like someone socked me in the stomach. I don’t think I heard too much else after that.”
Neither one spoke for several seconds. Then Ben said, “How’d she pass? Not that it matters. I mean . . . forget it. You don’t have to talk about it.”
“She had cancer. Osteogenic sarcoma. It’s a bone disease. I’m not saying that it was as horrible as what happened to your sister . . . well, it was pretty horrible, but in a different way. It wasn’t as shocking, maybe. Anyway, the end result was the same.”
“Oh please, let’s not compare misery. I certainly don’t have a monopoly on grief.”
“No, you don’t.” She was dry-eyed now. “I shouldn’t have laid it on you like that. Sometimes I have no filter . . . like all the time.”
“It’s okay. I’m glad you told me.”
“I’m not glad. It makes you look at me differently. You know what I’m saying.”
“I do, but I won’t. I mean, I won’t pity you.” A beat. “Unless you want me to pity you.”
“Don’t be stupid.” She exhaled. “You can’t tell anyone.” A beat. “Really. Promise?”
“It’s not a problem, Ro. I don’t talk to anyone.”
“You have a sister and parents. If anyone found out, my mother would kill me. She handles the whole thing by blanking it out. Of course, you can’t ignore anything so monumental. She was this close to a breakdown.” Ro pinched off an inch with her thumb and forefinger. “My father found a yearlong job here as a lawyer with the government just to get her away from her old life. He offered to let me stay back home with my best friend, but I couldn’t leave my brother alone to deal with their shit.”
“I totally get it.”
“I know you do. That’s why you reacted like you did Friday night. And that’s why I didn’t say anything. I do have a point to all this drama. After my sister died, my mom was obsessed with my health. Understandable, but it didn’t make her any easier to live with. Vicks, every time I had an ache or a pain or even an itch or a twitch—anything—Mom whisked me off to the doctors. She was convinced I had cancer too. I was X-rayed so much I probably glow in the dark. Finally, the doctors told her she was doing way more harm than good. But she couldn’t stop herself. That’s when my dad knew we had to leave. He packed us all up and moved us to this hick town . . . no offense.”
“It’s not a hick town, but it is a small town.”
“Anything smaller than Manhattan is a hick town to me. Ever been there?”
“Once, for a math competition.”
“What did you think?”
“I was in and out of an auditorium. I never really saw the city.”
“Why am I not surprised.” Ro smiled slightly. “Look. I know your little sister is really none of my business, but, like most New Yorkers, I’m overly pushy. I’m gonna say this whether you want to hear it or not. I’m staging an intervention. For Haley.”
“Whatever.”
“Not whatever, Ben. Your overprotective behavior is going to warp her. Weekly is an idiot, but he’s not a perv. And if he flirts with her and she’s okay with it, let it go. Not all males are bad. Not all boys are bad. You’re a boy. You’re not bad. You’ve got to let her be a normal fourteen-year-old girl. You’ve got to let her giggle and flirt and bat her eyelashes. Let her grow up and develop and be a wonderful, beautiful, superficial girl like I am.”
Her cell beeped out an Adele ringtone. She looked at the screen.
“JD?” he asked.
“Why don’t you like him?”
“I came over to the table when he asked me to.”
“You didn’t answer the question.”
Ben shrugged. “I have nothing against the dude. We don’t have much in common.”
“How about me? I like you both.”
“Like I said, he doesn’t want me talking to you.”
“You made that up.”
“Ask him.” When she didn’t answer, Ben said, “Miss McPeacemaker. Okay, just for you I will try not to irritate JD. It will be hard because the guy is really irritating.”
“Yes, he is conceited.”
“I’ll be cool with JD, but Weekly’s off the table.”
Ro smiled. “JD thinks you’re a genius in math. He said you tutored him.”
“Both statements are correct.”
“JD got over seven hundred in math.”
“I’m a very good tutor.” Her phone rang again. “Go talk to your boyfriend. We’ll catch up later.”
“We’re on speaking terms again?”
“Yes . . . if you want.”
“To be determined. Just don’t say anything to anyone, okay? My mom really would kill me.”
“I’m great at keeping secrets.”
She gave her famous little wave good-bye and started to walk away.
“Ro.” When she turned around, Ben said, “What was her name?”
Killing Season Page 6