“No one is telling us a fucking thing . . . just that she was attacked and she’s now in surgery. What the hell is going on?” When Ben tried to talk, the words jammed in his throat. George said, “Are you going to man up or stonewall like everyone else? I know it’s bad.” Tears ran down his cheeks. “Just tell me something!”
Ben pointed to his throat. “He cut her.”
George’s voice grew faint. “Her cut her throat? Dear God! How bad?”
Ben tried to think of something positive. “Like I said . . . she never lost consciousness. She was staring at me on the ride over. And she knew it was me.” Ben’s voice cracked. “She held my hand. They got her here, George. That’s the main thing.”
“Did she say anything to you?”
Ben ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek. “No.”
“Could she talk?”
“I . . . don’t know.” He looked down. “There’s a neck specialist flying in from Dallas. You’ll need to sign some stuff so he can operate.”
“I know. They told me that.”
“He’s a vocal-cord specialist. She was hurt in that area, so they called him down.”
He stared at Ben. “What else did the monster do?” When the boy didn’t answer, he said, “Was she—”
“Yes.” Ben looked away and George swore under his breath. “How’d he even get to her? I thought she was studying at your house. I was going to pick her up from there.”
“They walked over to the library. I think he was stalking them—”
“He got her in the library?”
Ben nodded.
“The public library?”
“There was an emergency exit near the women’s bathroom. Most of the time they don’t bother to lock it. I think he waited until one of them went to the bathroom.”
“He was waiting until Lilly went to the bathroom?”
“I think if it had been Haley, he would have taken her instead.” Ben looked down. “I should have killed him when I had the chance.”
“Yeah, you damn well should have killed him. Why the hell didn’t you?” When Ben was silent, George said, “I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m not in my right mind now.” His eyes went to Ben’s red-stained arms. He lifted the hem of Ben’s shirt and looked at his bandaged body. “What the hell happened to you?”
“I’m fine.”
“Did you fight him off?”
“I don’t remember what I did, except I stuck a gun in his mouth. Other than that, it’s all one big nightmarish blur.”
“How’d you find out where he took her?”
“Ro managed to track him using her hotel connections. We got there ahead of the police. We called in the police.”
“And you’re sure it’s Kevin Barnes?”
“Yeah . . . it’s him.”
“I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking put a gun to his head and shoot his brains out.” He paused. “I should have taken you more seriously—confronted the bastard.” He shook his head. “This is my fault.”
“No, it’s not your fault. It’s not my fault either. It’s Kevin Barnes who did it.”
The big man blew out air. “You’re right. I should be thanking you . . . you and whatsherface.”
Ben smiled. “Ro Majors. She kept her . . .” Alive. “She kept Lilly going until the paramedics came.”
“Thank her for me, will you? I can’t talk to anyone right now.”
Ben glanced at his watch. It was eight in the evening—those had been both the fastest and the slowest four hours that had ever passed in his life. They both saw a nurse approach June. George moved in to intercept her and Ben tagged along.
She said, “These are consent forms for Dr. Winslow.”
“That’s the throat doctor. Is he here at the hospital?”
“Yes.”
“Can I talk to him?” George asked.
“He’s getting ready for surgery, Dr. Tafoya. He needs your permission before he can do anything.”
“What’s going on with my little girl?”
“I don’t know, sir.”
“C’mon!” There was desperation in his voice. “You must know something.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but I honestly don’t know anything.”
George sighed, grabbed the clipboard, signed it, and shoved it into the nurse’s chest. Then he walked back to June.
Ben shrugged at the nurse. “He’s not himself.”
“He’s well behaved compared to others. I’ve been screamed at, cursed at, spit at, name-called, grabbed, shaken, and occasionally a few people have tried to land a punch in my face. Stress brings out all sorts of hidden demons. How are you feeling?”
“I’m still here, so I guess that’s good news.” Ben smiled, she smiled, and then he turned and went back to the crowd.
His presence brought the soft conversation to a halt. The faces began to take on names—his parents and grandparents; Ro and Haley, of course; but also Griffen, JD, Weekly, Mark Salinez, Lisa, Shannon, Chelsea; Mr. Beltran, the principal; Tom Gomez. Lilly’s grandmother and grandfather. Ben’s cousin Henry was there, looking completely sober. If there was ever a time to get hammered, Ben felt it was now. Shanks was sitting next to Ben’s father. He offered the kid his chair, but Ben shook his head. Within a few minutes, conversation picked up again—something along the lines of whether or not the school should hold graduation. JD, Weekly, Griffen, and Salinez got up and left. Ben wondered where they were going but was too tired to ask.
He went over to the far wall, away from everyone, and sat down on the floor, legs straight out in front of him so as not to pull his stitches. Ro brought him a chair and walked away. He managed to stand long enough to sit in it, stitches burning and pulling and his whole body enveloped in pain. He threw back his head, looking up at an acoustical-tiled light green ceiling.
For just a little while he needed to be alone.
Everyone respected that.
You don’t bother the injured wolf.
Half an hour later Ben went over to Shanks. “Where is he? Barnes.”
“Locked up. Have a seat, Vicks.”
Ben sat down. Shanks’s jaw muscles were working overtime. He looked like he was chewing on imaginary gum.
“Is he talking?”
“Barnes? Of course not.”
“No bail, right?”
“He’s a suspect in four murders. Not a chance.”
“What’s gonna be his story?” A pause. “He’s not gonna plead guilty.”
“I have no idea what his story will be,” Shanks said. “They’ve just finished processing him, Ben. Then he has to talk to a lawyer. Then he has to be officially arraigned. These things take a while.”
“If I were him, I’d say that he heard screaming, went in, and was trying to help Lilly, and that we scared him away. And he stabbed me because I scared him.”
Shanks whispered, “And this is your rebuttal story. You found him . . . on top of Lilly and he started cutting at you with his knife. That’s why you have those gashes. You ran after him, jumped him, and he stabbed you. And you do have a stab wound. It was at that point when you took out your gun. In fear for your life. Got it?”
“Sounds good except I beat him up.”
“He was wielding the knife. You were in fear for your life. It’s the total truth, son . . . maybe not in that exact order, but the truth. Case closed. Stop talking about it, all right?”
Ben nodded. “You can legally take his DNA now.”
“Yes we can.”
“You must really feel sorry for me.” Shanks looked at the kid, who said, “The old Shanks would have said, ‘Thank you for reminding me. Otherwise, I would have forgotten about that.’”
Shanks smiled. “We put a rush on it, but it’ll still take about twenty-four hours. The judge already agreed to hold him without bail until the tests come back. As soon as we get the matches with the other murders, he’s a goner. It’s over.” Shanks ran his hand through his messy hair. “I’m going to need a statement
from you when you’re feeling better.”
“I can do it now. It’s torture just to sit here and wait. Go get a pad and paper.”
“I’ll be right back.” As soon as Shanks left, Ro came over. Ben’s dad got up. “Take a seat, honey.”
“Thank you.” She sat down and put a hand on Ben’s knee.
“Looks like I fucked up grad night, Dorothy.” He shrugged. “Sorry about that.”
She let out a sad laugh. “God . . . was I ever that superficial?”
“All the time.” When she slapped his leg, Ben said, “Okay. I know you’re all right. You’re hitting me.”
Ro smiled with wet eyes. “She’s gonna make it, right?”
“Of course.” JD, Weekly, Salinez, and Griffen had returned. There were cotton balls taped to the insides of their arms. “They gave blood?”
“Yeah,” Ro said. “My turn.” She stood up.
“I’ll go with you,” Ben told her.
“You stay put.”
“I’m okay.”
“Ben, there are like thirty people in this room who are all willing to donate. Just sit down and concentrate on making more of your own erythrocytes, okay?”
She got up and JD immediately took her place. He was wearing the same shirt and jeans that he had on for graduation rehearsal. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. Why does everyone keep asking me that?”
JD lifted Ben’s shirt, looked at the bandages, and let it fall back down. He wiped his hand across his mouth. “How bad was it? I mean, how bad was she?”
“She’ll recover . . . I hope.”
JD turned away. He said, “We should be graduating tomorrow. It was my day, Vicksburg. I fucking knew you’d figure out a way to upstage me.”
Ben laughed and it hurt. “I’m the man, dude.”
JD laughed too. “Yep, just for today, you are the man. Do you hurt?”
“Kills.”
“You need anything?”
“Nah.”
“How about something to eat? You want a Doogie burger or something?”
“If I put anything in my stomach, I’ll puke.”
JD nodded. “Did the doc give you meds?”
“Yeah.”
“Pain meds?”
“Yeah, my mom’s got the bag.”
“What’d they give you for pain?”
“I dunno. Probably Vicodin . . . maybe OxyContin. I really don’t know.”
JD raised his eyebrows. He whispered, “Wanna get high together?”
Ben didn’t know if he was serious, but the comment made him smile. “I’ll tell you what, JD. Whatever I don’t use, it’s yours. My graduation gift to you.”
“Cool.”
Shanks had come back with a yellow legal pad and a pen. JD stood up. “If you need something . . .”
“I’ll let you know.”
Shanks walked Ben into a secluded spot with a couple of empty chairs. “Walk me through the day.”
Ben did so, with the modifications suggested to him by Ortiz and Shanks. The entire recitation took longer than he thought it would and wore him out.
Shanks said, “You did good.”
“You’re satisfied?”
“I am. You were clearly acting in self-defense and you were in fear for your life. I—and everyone around me—will recommend that no charges be brought against you.”
“You’re sure about that? Barnes is going to tell a different story.”
“His DNA is going to put him at the scene of four murders. There were forty cops there to witness what happened and to back you up. A little girl is fighting for her life.” Shanks closed his notebook. “There are things in life you’ll worry about. This won’t be one of them.”
Chapter 17
Limbo is defined as the place between heaven and hell, but it’s way more hell than heaven. The waiting was interminable, but the group kept saying if it was taking this long it must be good news.
At midnight—around eight hours after the attack—two surgeons dressed in green scrubs, still wearing caps and shoe covers, came out of a locked door and looked around the waiting room. George bounced up and so did June. The surgeons spoke to the Tafoyas, who kept nodding—no wailing. Ben took that as a good sign.
George looked around, eyes falling on Ben. He motioned the kid over, then put a protective arm around him. One of the surgeons was tall and graying, and had piercing blue eyes. “Are you the kid who called me? Vicksburg?”
“That was me. You’re Dr. Winslow?”
“I am. That was quick thinking on your feet.”
Ben had a thousand questions, but knew better than to ask any. Not with Lilly’s parents around. George said, “She made it through the surgery. She’s in guarded condition.”
Relief did not even begin to describe Ben’s emotions. “Guarded is good, right?”
“It’s a very good outcome considering what she went through,” Winslow said. “She’s in recovery. We’ll transfer her to the ICU and then you can see her. That’s going to take a couple of hours.”
Ben couldn’t help himself. “What about her . . . you know.” He touched his neck.
“Her vocal cords?” Winslow said. “There was damage, but not as bad as it could have been. Vocal cords aren’t really cords like a string. They are more like an accordion. I can’t say anything definite, but I’m optimistic. She’ll likely need another operation—maybe two—and vocal rehabilitation.”
“But she’ll talk again?”
“I’m optimistic.”
“Enough questions,” George said. “Go home, Ben. Take care of yourself.”
June was staring at Ben with dry eyes. “George is right. Go home. And thank you, Ben.”
“Honestly, I’m gonna stick around. Do you guys need coffee or anything?”
“No. If you’re not going home, then go back to your crowd. Give us a moment to digest all this shit.” George kissed the top of the boy’s head. “You know how grateful I am to you and whatsherface, right?”
“Right.”
“Okay. Go away.”
“What should I tell everyone? They’re gonna ask.”
“Just tell them that she made it through surgery. Everyone should leave and give us some peace and quiet. It’s hard looking at everyone with them pretending not to see me. Tell them all to pack it in, including the tribe. I don’t need their fucking incantations. I mean, if they want to do it in Santa Clara, that’s fine. I will appreciate the community support later on, but right now, I’m too sick to deal with anyone, including you. So go away.”
“I’m leaving.”
He was greeted by expectant faces.
Ben gave a thumbs-up, which was answered by spontaneous smiles and sighs of relief. “She made it through surgery and is in guarded condition. That’s all I know.” He rubbed his eyes. “George wants everyone to leave. Our presence is making him nervous.”
Slowly, people started to gather up their belongings. Henry came up and he and Ben fist-bumped. Ben’s grandparents came over, his grandma saying, “Are you coming to the house, Benny?”
“Eventually. I’m gonna stick around here for now.”
Ro said, “You just said everyone should leave.”
“I’m not included in everyone.” To his grandma: “I’ll be here for a while. I’ll call you to pick me up when I’m ready, okay?”
“When will that be?”
“Tomorrow morning, probably.”
“Benny, you need to rest.”
“I know, I know. Go. I’ll call you later.” He turned to Ro. “George says thank you for what you did with Lilly.”
“He did? I didn’t think he even knew my name.”
“He didn’t. He called you ‘whatsherface.’”
“Okay, that figures.”
The crowd had thinned to Sam Shanks and the families—Ro’s as well as Ben’s. Ben looked at Griff. “No long faces, okay, dude? We’re all just doing the best we can. And it’s gonna be okay.”
“I’m staying w
ith you,” Haley said.
Ben knew this was something she had to do. “Okay, Hales. Stay with me. A little company might not be bad.”
“I’m staying with her,” Griff said.
“And I’m staying with you,” Ro said to Griff.
“And we’re staying with you,” Ro’s dad told them.
Ben’s dad said, “Mom and I are not leaving without Haley and you, Ben. What if you start to bleed and you need help?”
“Dad, I’m in a hospital.”
His mom said, “If you stay, we’re staying. End of discussion.”
“Whatever. Do what you want.”
The group was silent for a few minutes, but eventually people started to talk—slowly at first, then the pace picked up. Shanks got coffee and doughnuts. He took some over to the Tafoyas, who joined the crowd until they were all chatting away about things both big and trivial. From graduation to Ellen’s childhood. From Ro’s college choices to Gretchen’s illness. And of course, they all told stories about Lilly. It was nonsense talk, but it was serious conversation. There were a lot of wet eyes interspersed with the occasional smile and even a chuckle or two.
Just passing time.
As soon as Lilly was moved to the ICU, the powwow started to break up. June and George immediately left to be with their daughter. George’s sons left for Las Cruces. Griff and his parents called it a day. Shanks needed to get back to River Remez to begin his paperwork. And Ben’s parents insisted that Haley go home and get some sleep.
It was down to Ro and Ben. Since Lilly was still alive, it was a safe bet that graduation would go on and that was okay because life goes on. At the ceremony, there would probably be the requisite moment of silence, and even though it was nonsense, it made people feel better, so why not?
It was five in the morning when Ro called a taxi to take her back to River Remez. Ben walked out and waited with her by the curb. Sunrise was coming—a new day filled with a new hope. And after three years of the chase, perhaps it was in the cards to finally see a little light.
Killing Season Page 52