“I’ll second that,” I smirked at her before leaning over and placing a light kiss on her cheek.
“Ewww! Don’t!” She recoiled as she scowled at me. “I’m all sweaty and gross.”
“I don’t mind.” I reached to crank the engine of my truck as I muttered, “I’d like to help with that sometime.”
“Nick,” she groaned. “I thought we were good with that,” she turned her body and stared out the window as I began pulling out of the parking lot.
“We are,” I blew out a breath. The topic of sex had been hanging between us like a flashing neon sign for the last week or so. Leah had seemed to be pulling away every time I tried to bring us closer. It was almost as if she was afraid to be around me. I hadn’t been pushing for more, but I was hoping we’d at least talk about it. Leah, on the other hand, had been changing the subject every time I broached it.
“I just…” she murmured.
“It’s fine,” I sighed. “Listen,” I glanced over at her before pulling out into traffic “You want to go out tonight? Just the two of us?”
“I don’t know,” she mumbled. “I’ve got a lot to do.”
“Like what? School’s out in a week. You’ve already taken your exams, the meet isn’t until Saturday, and it’s date night. We can celebrate,” I smiled at her as we turned into her driveway.
“Celebrate?” she wrinkled her forehead.
“Yeah,” I shrugged as a grin broke out across my face. “I got a job today. I start next week, right after graduation.”
“Really?” she giggled. “You’re really staying?”
“Yes,” I lifted a shoulder. “I told you I was. I want to be here with you. So what do you say? Dinner? Maybe we can find a nice quiet place after to hang out and talk?”
“Talk?” She twisted her hands together in her lap. “You sure that’s what you want to do?”
“Well, no, but I’ll take what I can get,” I smirked and then leaned across her to open her door. “I’ll pick you up at six. We’ll go get burgers or something.”
“Ok,” she nodded at me before turning to slide from the truck seat. “Six. I’ll be ready.”
ooooooooo
After dropping Leah off, I spent the rest of the day driving around town. I wasn’t really in the mood to go home. I didn’t want to face my mom and the look she’d give me when I told her I’d gotten a job. I knew she’d spent most of my childhood working two jobs so I wouldn’t have to, and now I that I was staying, it seemed that she’d done it all for nothing. Cam had tried to be supportive, but I could tell he was angry, too. Not at me though, he was angry with Leah. Their friendship had taken a hit when he found out I was staying. He blamed her for not pushing me to leave, but I kept insisting that it wasn’t her decision…it was mine. Cam finally gave up last week. He and Avery had stopped pestering me and had moved to accepting that I was happy.
Avery and Leah were still tight, but something about my decision seemed to put a wedge between Cam and the girls. He still hung around them, but the close bond they’d shared at the beginning of the school year was now strained at best.
After finally clearing my head, I began heading back to Leah’s house to pick her up. I’d been driving on the back roads for so long, that I hadn’t realized how far out of town I’d gone. Cornfields and dirt were sprawled as far as the eye could see. I was currently right next to a perfect make out spot. I made note of it, and mentally checked off that I would come back here tonight during my date. Maybe if I could get Leah alone out here, she’d loosen up a little. I knew she wanted more, but I think she was more afraid of asking for it, then actually doing it.
ooooooooo
“Where are we going?” Leah glanced around, finally making eye contact with me.
“A spot I found today. I spent the afternoon driving around. I wanted to show this place to you,” I pulled my truck off the main road and began heading for the small patch of trees off to the side. I knew if I could get behind them, we’d be completely hidden, not that much traffic came out on this road anyway. It was mainly farms out here.
I’d taken Leah to Dave’s tonight. We’d never gone there on a date. It was, after all, a bar. Charlie, a friend of mine that graduated several years before, was working tonight and let us in. He made me promise that I wasn’t going to drink and let us sit in the back corner. I was silently thanking the universe and Charlie for that. When Leah had jogged down her front steps in the little denim skirt she was wearing tonight, I wasn’t sure how I’d keep my hands off her. While we were at Dave’s, I’d been slowly inching closer to her. I had a major hard-on and the ache was beginning to drive me insane.
I don’t think Leah understood how much I wanted her. Every time we’d make out, I’d try to push us a little further. A touch here, a kiss there, sometimes it worked, but she’s never let me get past the clothing. I wanted to feel her skin. I wondered if it was as soft as her cheeks.
“Relax,” I reached over, placed my hand on her bare knee, and she jolted in surprise. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she snapped as she glanced out the window and into the darkness. “It’s just that it’s peaceful and dark out here. How did you find this place?”
“I told you,” I cut the engine. “I was out driving around today and thought it’d be a nice place to talk.”
“I know talking is not what you had in mind when you thought about bringing me here,” she smiled slightly as a nervous giggle bubbled out of her.
“Well…no,” I grimaced “but we can just talk if that’s really what you want to do.”
“I don’t know what I want,” she muttered as she dropped her chin and began staring at her lap. She crossed her legs and her skirt slid up her thighs higher.
I groaned just thinking about what she was hiding under there. Leah was so sexy, and the fact that she didn’t understand that, or see herself that way, made her all the more appealing. “Come here,” I motioned for her move closer. I wrapped my arms around her and placed my chin on top of her head. “What’s going on in there?”
“I want to, Nick,” she murmured. “I just don’t think I’m ready. I mean…what if I mess up?”
“Mess up?” I lifted her chin so I could look in her eyes. “You could never mess up, and besides…there’s not a right or wrong way. It’s about feelings. How do you feel?” I stared down at her waiting patiently for an answer, an answer that I wasn’t sure I was going to like.
“I feel…” she paused “I feel scared, confused,” she shrugged. “But…”
“But what?” I cupped her cheek and watched her eyes fill with something I couldn’t quite describe. Was it want? Need? Love? What was she trying to tell me?
Instead of answering me, her eyes darted to my lips and she lifted up on her knees and pressed her mouth to mine. I was taken off guard at first by her forwardness, but quickly recovered.
I groaned as she pushed her hands into my hair and swung her right leg over my lap. We’d been here before, but I was always the one to start it. It was nice having her initiate things, but I was silently wondering how far she would go before having me take over.
“Nick?” She broke the kiss and squeezed her eyes shut.
“What, baby?” I murmured as I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her to me.
“I…” her voice trembled with nerves, and she looked down at my chest and swallowed. “I think I love you,” she whispered so quietly that it was barely audible. “No, that’s a lie. I know I do.” She lifted her eyes to meet mine as one side of her mouth tipped up. I sat there in silence for a moment just letting it sink in. Did she really just say what I thought she said? She loved me? Me, the boy who was told by everyone in town that he was no good and would never be anything? The boy who had been hopelessly in love with the golden girl and finally caught her? She loved me?
“Say something,” she murmured as she implored me to say it back.
“I love you, too,” I smiled and leaned in to kiss her. “I have for a
while. I was just waiting on you,” I mumbled against her lips. “You and me, baby. We’re in this together.”
The longer we stayed wrapped in each other’s arms, the more intense things began to get. Our kisses had gone from light and sweet, to deep and passionate. At one point, I had to pull back just get some air. Leah had stayed on my lap; my dick was now straining so hard against my jeans that I thought I might have an imprint from my zipper. Our hands had wandered over each other’s bodies, but had stayed on top of the clothes. I’d gotten a few feels in on her boobs, but other than that, it wasn’t much. She’d run her hands down my chest a few times, but always stopped when she got to my waistband. It was as if we were waiting for the other to give permission. I wasn’t sure how far I could take this tonight, but as my dick began screaming at me to do something, I decided to try.
"You trust me, right?" I ran my knuckles along her jaw.
Leah nodded as she turned her gaze downward. She stared at the ridge in my shorts and swallowed. "Does it hurt? When it gets like that, I mean?" She bit her lower lip as her hand hovered over me.
"Um..." I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. "Sometimes," I sighed.
“I'm sorry," Leah mumbled as she turned away from me. "I'm just…"
“I know,” I gripped her chin and forced her to look into my eyes. “I know,” I reassured her as I pressed my mouth to hers.
She gave in willingly as I parted her lips and slowly let my tongue resume what it had been doing moments earlier. We’d been here for about an hour now and the windows were officially fogged up. It was a cool night, so I’d left them rolled up, but now it was quite steamy sitting here in the cab. Tentatively, I let my hand coast down her side. I paused at her hip before drifting towards the bottom of the denim skirt she was wearing. She stiffened slightly and stopped reacting to my kiss.
"What's wrong?" I murmured against her lips.
“I’m not going to have sex with you tonight, Nick," she muttered as she pulled back. “Just because I said what I said doesn’t mean that I’m ready for all that other stuff.”
"Who said anything about having sex?" I shook my head trying to fight off the images I'd formed of her naked and underneath me as I made her cry out my name.
"I know how you operate," she waved her hand in the air. "I know you want to…" she trailed off.
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to sleep with you,” I heaved out a breath, “but I want it to mean something.” I paused as I tried to put my feelings into words, “I love you…more than I think you realize. I want this to work, but you have to trust me. I just want to show you that we can be close without actually doing it, that’s all.” I glanced away as I tried to calm the raging boner I had.
“Like what?” Leah’s voice came out as a whisper.
I turned hopeful eyes on her and beckoned her to come closer. I cupped her jaw and leaned in right next to her ear as I whispered, “I just want to touch you.” She started to pull back, but I kept her in place with my grip. “I wanna make you come and call out my name. I wanna be your first.” I pulled back to look her straight in the eyes. "Let me show you what you're missing…please?"
Leah nodded slowly as she clamped down on her lower lip and slid her hips flush with mine. Her entire body trembled as I leaned in and began kissing her again. I could tell she was nervous. I knew she was one of the good girls; my brother had made sure to drill that fact into my head when I started pursuing her. She was so beautiful and smart, though. I couldn’t stay away. I’ve been drawn to her since the day we met.
When I felt her begin to relax, I let my hand resume its descent toward the bottom of her skirt once again. This time, when I brushed my fingers across her thighs, I wasn’t met with resistance, but acceptance. She shifted slightly and let her legs fall open. It was like she already knew the bliss I was offering and now she couldn't get it fast enough. When I let my fingers brush across her panties, she whimpered against my mouth. She was soaked and it was all for me. My caveman instincts kicked in and I growled into her mouth.
"You're fucking wet as hell," I mumbled as I began to play with the small swatch of cotton that covered that Promised Land.
“Nick,” she panted. “Please, don’t stop,” she begged as she squirmed in my lap brushing herself against my already rock hard crotch.
My baby had finally realized what I'd been talking about and now she couldn't get enough of me.
“Oh, I’m gonna make you feel so good,” I groaned as I tugged at the cotton and ran my index finger lightly across her. She whimpered again as her hips inched forward, trying to make a firmer contact. I deepened the kiss as I slowly and painstakingly dipped my finger into her. She broke the kiss as she tossed her head back and moaned. "Oh god," she panted. "More!" she begged as she slid closer to me.
I took my free hand, wrapped it around her waist, and gave a quick tug to pull her flush with my hips. She came willingly and pressed herself down on me. I almost lost it when I felt her center brush over my dick. He was straining against my shorts and didn’t understand why he wasn’t getting any action. When Leah moved from my mouth to my ear, I couldn’t help but groan. She tugged the lobe into her sweet mouth and nibbled lightly as the hand that was holding her up began to trail down my chest.
"Leah?" I gasped as she made her way south. "What are you doing?"
"I wanna touch you, too," she whispered into my ear as her body began to tighten around my fingers. "I wanna make you feel good, too."
"I don't know if that's such a good idea," I mumbled. When she reached my belt buckle, I froze. She released a frustrated groan as she rocked her hips against my hand.
"Please, Nick," she began releasing the buckle and my resolve crumbled. I quickly began moving my fingers again. I knew I needed to finish her before she freed me or we'd be doing a lot more than just touching tonight. As much as I wanted to do more, I knew she wasn't ready.
When I felt her slump against me, I chuckled. "You ok?" I pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“Hmmm?” She lifted her head and looked at me with a goofy grin.
Before I could respond, she pressed a kiss to my mouth and mumbled, "My turn," as she flicked the button of my shorts open and quickly reached inside.
“Shit!” I hissed as her fingers wrapped around me.
She yanked her hand back and looked up at me as fear filled her eyes, “I’m sorry.”
“No, baby,” I shook my head. “Feels…good,” I panted as I reached for her wrist and guided her hand back. “Keep going.”
“Like this?” She wrapped her fingers back around me and slowly began pumping her hand.
“Yeah,” I swallowed and placed my hand over hers. “A little harder. Of god, yes,” I groaned. My hips jacked up off the seat as my eyes rolled back. I’d been taking care of myself for months now, but having Leah do it was so much better. It wasn’t sex, but having her hands on me was indescribable and now that I’d had a taste, I didn’t think I’d ever get enough. “Move!” I growled as I pushed her back slightly, and cupped my hand over myself right before exploding. “Fuuuuck!” I groaned as I shot off all over my lap.
I felt bad that I’d yelled at her, but getting any of this on her was out of the question. I didn’t want her to remember this experience as messy or gross. I wanted her to want to do it again, and maybe take things a little further next time. “I’m sorry,” I panted as I leaned toward my glove box and grabbed some napkins. The horrified look on her face told me everything. She thought she’d done something wrong. “I didn’t want to blow all over you,” I wiped up the mess, cleaned my hand, and balled up the napkins tossing them to the floorboards. She still hadn’t said anything, and I was beginning to panic, “Say something.”
“So…that was,” she sucked her lower lip into her mouth and looked around the truck. She seemed to find everything around us more interesting than me. She was still currently straddling my lap, but as awkwardness filled the truck, she began to retreat.
“Yeah
,” I grinned at her as I reached for her hand, and pulled her into my side. “We don’t have to name that,” I murmured. “I know what you were feeling.” She looked away from me and I could feel the embarrassment radiating off her. “Don’t be ashamed to like that. It’s normal. There’s nothing wrong with what we just did.”
“I know,” she mumbled. “Is it wrong that I want to do it again…soon?” She glanced up at me.
“No,” I shook my head. “You’re seventeen. It’s normal. Just think,” I paused as I watched her. “When we do go all the way…think about how amazing it’s gonna be with us. If it was like this now, what do think sex is gonna be like?” She watched me for a minute and then her face went from flushed to beet red.
“I don’t think I can talk about this with you,” she muttered.
“Why?” I shifted in my seat so I could face her.
“Because,” she looked away and then crossed her arms across her chest “it’s embarrassing.”
“What? Talking about sex? Or just talking to me about sex?” I leaned in to face her and inched so close our lips were almost touching “If we can’t talk about it, how are we ever going to be able to actually do it?”
She closed her eyes as the words fell from her lips, “I can’t talk about it with you because it makes me want to do it with you, and I can’t.”
“Why not?” I pecked her lips.
“Because I can’t,” she sighed. “I’m not ready.”
“I know,” I pecked her lips again “but this is nice…right?”
“Yeah,” she puffed out a breath on sigh as she leaned into me and placed her head on my shoulder. “This is nice. I liked this. I want more, too, Nick. Just, not yet. I need time. I’ll get there. I promise. Just give me time.”
“I’ll give you as much time as you need. I love you. I’ll wait forever if I have to,” I wrapped my arms around her as she sagged against me. It was as if a weight had been lifted from us. I wasn’t sure how much progress we’d made, but I knew we were getting somewhere…finally. Leah had this fire in her that burned out of control when we were in the same room. It would mesmerize me and make me a mere pawn in her game. She could make me agree to pretty much everything. After tonight, I knew I was in deep, I just hadn’t realized how deep. There was no going back now. Leah had taken a piece of my heart months ago and I knew I’d never get it back. She loved me, I loved her, and we were gonna make it.
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