by Kamryn Hart
Austin made a beeline for his car, avoiding the students and their squealing tires as they bailed for lunch. He placed his box of student papers in the back seat of his car once he unlocked it. Then he remembered he forgot his binder filled with his bad poetry on his desk. No way did he want Ludwig, the vice-principal and today’s substitute, reading that. He’d never be able to show face again without blushing from embarrassment. It’d be one thing if it wasn’t all about Mateo. And if it was actually good. Then again, it wasn’t for a lack of trying. He knew how to make himself understood. He used language to be an effective communicator, but metaphors and purple prose were something that didn’t come naturally to him.
The halls had cleared out some by now, since most of the student body had either converged inside of the cafeteria or left for takeout. He adjusted his glasses before barging into his classroom. He silently thanked God that it was empty. He took his binder from off his desk and chastised himself. Remember to take this home if you’re going to bring it to school every day. Satisfied that a disaster had been averted, he once again made the trek through the school to get to his car.
He barely exited the school and fought off a shiver from the cold, head ducked and eyes on the ground, a bad habit he had more or less fixed unless he was stressing, and walked right into a man’s hard chest. His glasses smashed against his nose, and he let out a little yelp of combined discomfort and embarrassment. At least he had a tight grip on his binder. He righted his glasses and looked up at the man to immediately apologize, and then his jaw dropped open.
“Mateo?!” he exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you,” Mateo replied, head cocked. His chocolate-brown eyes weren’t changing color, but his pupils dilated, and Austin could feel the wolf in him. It was this dominating presence Mateo always had. It wasn’t something that ever frightened others before. Mateo had always been a fighter, but he was a fighter for justice in the eyes of Austin and their classmates. He never started the fights, he just finished them, and he did it often. He never got in serious trouble—until he flipped out and went after Finn their senior year. Austin didn’t like to admit it or think about it, but Mateo might have killed him if Austin hadn’t been there to stop him. Finn was in bad shape before Austin got Mateo to stop. When Mateo’s parents died, something broke in him. He didn’t have a direction for his anger.
“In a hurry?” Mateo asked.
“Uhm, no. Not anymore. I was about to come looking for you, too,” Austin said.
Mateo smirked. He had the kind of smile that almost always came off as a smirk. He was sexy bad-boy to the extreme. And, man, did he make Austin’s knees weak. Austin’s face heated up when he remembered what he and Mateo almost did last night. He wanted to get back to that, to have Mateo with him the whole time instead of pulling away because of this biting business he hadn’t fully explained.
“You have any interest in this?” Mateo held out a couple of orange tickets with Gordon Callahan’s Haunted Corn Maze printed on them.
Austin shuddered at the thought. He really, really hated to be scared. But Mateo was asking him out. “I’m very interested.” Austin’s voice was so steady, he almost convinced himself.
Mateo raised an eyebrow. “Your heart stuttered. You hate horror and scary things.”
“I see you remember that now.”
Mateo shrugged. “Thought you might be over it now that you aren’t shy anymore.”
“Did you really?”
Mateo shrugged again. “It’s cool. We don’t have to go.”
“We are going. You and me. First thing tonight.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Austin caught sight of Katey and her friends. They were whispering and giggling, their attention focused on him and Mateo. “Wasn’t he with a different guy yesterday?” one of them asked. “This guy is way hotter. Oh, my God. Have you ever seen so much muscle in real life?”
Austin cleared his throat and glanced at the girls. They giggled but got the message, continuing on their way.
Mateo shoved the tickets back inside of his pocket. He still had that smug look on his face, but this time his eyes were flickering yellow. And then Austin noticed something new, a waver in Mateo’s expression. That smug look wasn’t so smug. The corners of his mouth weren’t drawn up so high, and his eyes were soft, questioning. Nervous. Was this Mateo nervous? Austin was pretty sure this was unheard of. But, holy heck, he looked happy. The sun was literally sparkling in his eyes. Did it mean that much to him for Austin to say yes to this haunted-corn-maze date?
“I didn’t think you were over horror and scary things. I thought you’d say no when I actually thought about it,” Mateo said.
“I would probably do almost anything with you if you asked me to,” Austin said. Then he added, with a little mustered confidence, “Besides, you’ll protect me.”
“Damn right I will.” Mateo growled. He took Austin’s chin in his hand, tracing along the defined line. Then he leaned down and kissed him.
Austin closed his eyes to enjoy the moment, to take in Mateo’s taste, the way he felt. He was all male. And he was a rough kisser. He used a lot of teeth. He liked to pull at Austin’s lips until they throbbed, but it was the best feeling. He liked to swallow Austin’s moans, evoking the sounds from him while stifling them at the same time. It was hard to believe this “wolf shifter,” this guy who was definitely all in, had pulled away from Austin twice yesterday. Twice!
They needed to talk. Austin caught Mateo’s face, pressing his fingers into his scruff, and unlocked their lips. He hoped Mateo would be willing to talk. He couldn’t let himself fall any further, get lost any deeper, inside of Mateo until he knew where he was coming from. Mateo wasn’t fond of words, but he didn’t have to be. Austin just needed clarity. That didn’t require Mateo giving some big speech or suddenly changing who he was. He just needed to tell Austin what this meant. Did he love Austin back? He said it before when they were teens. Was it still true? Would he stay if Austin gave him everything? Because Austin was ready to give him everything. He was back then, too.
“Oh, my God. That was so hot,” a girl said. Katey and her friends were still here, and they were all staring at Austin and Mateo. Katey looked a little baffled or defeated maybe. No denying he was gay now if she had had any doubts about that before.
“Katey!” Austin exclaimed. “I thought you girls left.”
“Uh, we did and came back. If you don’t want people watching, don’t kiss like that out in the open where everyone can see you,” one of Katey’s friends defended, sticking out her tongue. The girls squealed and rushed into the school. Austin watched the doors close behind them.
“Nosy girls,” Mateo commented.
“Do you not remember high school?”
“Only the important parts.”
Austin hummed to himself and walked around Mateo, making his way to his Subaru Legacy. He expected Mateo to follow, but when he looked behind him, Mateo was standing right where he had left him. “Coming?” Austin called.
Mateo cocked his head. “Are you mad I kissed you?”
“No, but we need to talk. Can we talk?”
After sucking in a big breath, Mateo expelled it in a rush. “Yeah. Sure. Talking.”
“It won’t be painful. I promise. We can go out for lunch.”
“Your place. I don’t want to go out. Too loud.” Mateo drew the hood of his hoodie over his head and walked to Austin’s side. He shoved his hands inside of that front pocket of his hoodie too, but that was unacceptable. Austin shifted his binder to one arm and grabbed Mateo’s forearm, freeing his left hand and taking it in his own. He didn’t know how Mateo would respond, but he was relieved when Mateo interlaced his fingers with his. Austin squeezed. He squeezed Mateo’s hand as tightly as he could because he wanted this every day, because he loved Mateo so much his chest was constricting. It didn’t matter what Austin told himself or if he tried to protect his heart. If Mateo left him this time, of Mateo’s own vo
lition, his heart would shatter.
CHAPTER NINE
“WHAT DO YOU WANT to eat?” Austin asked as he stuck his head in the fridge. “I’ve got leftovers. Could whip up some sort of pasta with beef and tomato as the base and highlight it with some seasonings.”
“Whatever you want,” Mateo said. He was sitting at the kitchen table. He had removed his hood once he stepped foot inside of Austin’s house. Now he was watching Austin with his head tilted just barely to the side. His eyes wouldn’t stop glinting. His gaze lit Austin’s skin on fire, sent endless rounds of shivers, and raised goosebumps.
“We’ll start with a snack to tide us over until the thrown-together pasta is done then, because I’m starving.” Austin set a pot with water on the stove to boil, grabbed a pan to fry up the meat, and then set some raisin oatmeal cookies on the table. He shoved one in his mouth before continuing.
Mateo took one too and nibbled on it. “Never got why you like these things. They’re disgusting.”
“Don’t eat it, then.” Austin stopped what he was doing and leaned over the table. Mateo held out the cookie like he knew exactly what Austin intended to do, and Austin caught it in his mouth. Austin meant to get right back to what he was doing—he had gross raw meat all over his hands now—but Mateo caught his cheek. Mateo had a big grin on his face. Man, the way this guy looked at Austin made him feel so adored. The gentle way Mateo touched him… “Anger issues.” No way. Not Mateo. He would never hurt Austin. Austin was sure of that. He wasn’t the least bit afraid of Mateo or what got written off as a “hot temper” by others.
Austin quickly threw the rest of the meat in the simmering pan and washed his hands to finish off the cookie he held in between his teeth. Heat prickled on the back of his neck when he realized Mateo hadn’t once taken his eyes off of him.
“Mateo,” Austin said then paused. “You came back here to avenge your parents, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that the only reason?”
“I don’t know. Just knew I had to get away.”
“From what? Where? Where have you been all this time?”
“Eurio, Alaska. Small place, bad to nonexistent internet connection and cell reception. It’s meant to rehabilitate shifters who have gone through some shit.”
“More wolf shifters like you?”
“Some of them. All types. Polar bears. Tigers.”
Austin crinkled his nose and tended the food. “What are shifters exactly? Do you have to change on a full moon?”
“No. I have to change when the animal inside of me wants me to change.”
“Are you more human or animal?”
“Humans are animals too.”
Austin nodded his head. “True enough. Where did you come from? How long have you existed?”
“Where do humans come from? God? Evolution? The universe? I dunno, Austin. Stop making my brain hurt.”
Austin smiled, but just for a moment. “What do you mean rehabilitate?”
“Like my anger issues. Like having to deal with the loss of people you love because of hunters.”
“You don’t have anger issues. You never had real problems at school until Finn. You were in the principal’s office a lot, but it wasn’t because you started fights. You never started fights. You finished them.”
Mateo huffed.
“That was the start of me falling in love with you, you know?”
“Seeing me knock heads made you fall in love with me?”
Austin chuckled. “No. You saved me from my bully. You did that for a lot of kids back in elementary school. I think high school went as smooth as it did because of you. And you were in fewer fights then. You were on the football team.”
Mateo was silent for a moment. Then he said with a rumble, “I remember.”
“You were content then. You had a lot of friends. You had direction. Didn’t you?”
“I guess. Yeah. Just had to finish school. Still had to blow off steam at home or in the forest though. Mom and Dad helped. Mom was good about keeping me in check.”
“You kept yourself in check.”
“You never saw me tearing through the forest.”
Austin checked the pasta boiling in the pot. It was getting close. He stepped away from the food and placed his hands on the kitchen table. He looked Mateo dead in the eye when he said, “You don’t have anger issues, okay? Even if you did, you would never hurt me. You would never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it.”
Mateo’s lips quirked up in that smirk of his. “It’s fine to hurt people who deserve it?”
Frowning, Austin shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t like violence of any sort, but you’re good Mateo. You are so good. And you’re kind.”
“I’ve gotten worse.”
“Maybe you need to find a new direction.”
“I have. Killing those hunter bastards.”
Austin went back to the food, final touches, tomatoes, tomato sauce, bringing it all together with various seasonings. “Maybe you need a softer direction. You’re worried about it, aren’t you? Your ‘anger issues.’”
“I almost killed someone I like back in Eurio.”
“I’m sure that’s an exaggeration.”
“It isn’t. Everything goes white, and I explode.”
“Is that… is that why you kept pulling away from me yesterday?”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Mateo said, lowering his voice.
Austin turned off the stove, got out plates, and served up the thrown-together pasta. He put a plate in front of Mateo and sat next to him with his own plate. “You don’t really think you’d hurt me, do you?” he asked.
Mateo shrugged and grimaced. “I think you’re too good for me.”
“Mateo, Mateo, Mateo. And I used to think you were full of yourself.” Austin frowned and placed his hand on top of Mateo’s. “I love you. Love doesn’t have rules or even guidelines, you know?”
Mateo fisted his hand underneath Austin’s touch. The tension was palpable. “I love you, too,” he whispered. “I hated Gale for taking me away. For years I hated him and tried to run away, but he wouldn’t let me. I only got away now because I had help.”
“Gale sounds like a terrible person.”
“He’s not, though. Even when I hated him, I knew he was right about a lot of stuff, that he was just doing his best like the rest of us. He didn’t want me to get hurt. He didn’t want me to choose revenge.”
“But that’s all you’ve been thinking about for the last five years,” Austin finished.
“Sort of. I was okay. After the first year I left Glasglow, I liked living in Eurio okay. There’re miles and miles to run, and I don’t have to hide because everyone living there is a shifter too. We could fight hard, and if the white stayed away, there was never a chance of anyone dying. I had friends. Got into tattoos with a couple of tiger shifters.”
“So I’ve noticed,” Austin teased. “They’re sexy.”
Mateo flashed a grin. But then he scowled. “I get agitated, you know? When things were steady, I was okay. Did physical labor. Fished in the river, hunted in the forest, cut trees down for firewood. Everyone still told me I was a pain in the ass, but they said that with a smile. I was okay until Yuri had the worst seizure ever, and I thought he’d die without me being able to do anything about it. I was okay until I thought about those hunters still out there and how they might kill everyone in Eurio too and how I could do something about it.” Mateo’s eyes went a bright yellow, all wolf. “I need to be able to do something. I can’t do nothing.”
This ran deeper than Austin had thought. He thought Mateo was chasing revenge, but that wasn’t the case at all. He wanted to keep the people he loved safe. Revenge was probably mixed up in it, but it wasn’t his driving force. Love was.
The pasta was getting cold, but Austin didn’t care. Mateo was talking to him, doing his best to open up and give what Austin needed. And he needed to know this most of all: “What is this between you and me, Ma
teo? I-I need to know what you want.”
“I want to bite you.”
“I said you could.”
“Not like something kinky I want to do with you in bed, a wolf shifter thing.”
“I’m okay with kinky, too.”
Mateo rolled his eyes, but his smirk was intact.
“What’s biting mean for a wolf shifter, then?”
Mateo puffed out a breath. “I want you to be mine, Austin. Forever. That’s what it means. Biting you means I choose you as my mate.”
Austin’s breath caught. “Forever is an awfully long time, but I want it. With you.”
“Even if I’m out of control?”
“Especially.”
“Even if I’m stupid and you’re smart?”
Austin pressed his pointer finger to Mateo’s lips. “Never say that again. You are not stupid.”
Mateo took Austin’s hand and pressed a kiss to his finger. Then Mateo rubbed his teeth gently against Austin’s skin, his nail. “You’re really going to let me keep you?” Mateo asked quietly.
“Yes, Mateo. Yes. I’ve never stopped thinking about you.”
“I never stopped thinking about you either.”
Austin reclaimed his hand and took a bite of cold pasta. Tasted good though. He seasoned it just right. “You’re taking me on a date first, though.” Austin grimaced. “To a haunted corn maze. I hope you’re ready to have me clinging to you in abject fear.”
“We don’t have to go,” Mateo reminded.
“I want an excuse to cling to you. I’ll deal with the scary.”
“I’ll protect you.” Austin decided he really liked hearing those words come out of Mateo’s mouth. He said it so easily, without a doubt, like it could be no other way.
Mateo took a bite of pasta, and his eyes lit up. Then he took another bite. “This is really good.”
“You protect me from harmless haunted corn mazes, and I’ll cook you decent pasta every now and then, deal?”
“Deal,” Mateo said between shoveling in mouthfuls of food.