by Ben Utecht
“You know, Karyn, if this is important to you, it is important to me. I think it is great for you to try it,” I said. I said this knowing full well that to be a Miss Minnesota meant you could not be a Mrs. Utecht. You could not be married and compete. Little did I know that by saying yes I had just signed up for a two-year engagement, two years that were going to test our faith, our commitment, and our self-control.
I really don’t recommend two-year engagements.
CHAPTER 10
WELCOME TO THE NFL
I WENT TO MY FIRST NFL training camp when I was eleven. My dad took me down to Mankato to watch the Vikings’ camp at Minnesota State University. I was a big Vikings fan growing up, so when my dad asked me if I wanted to go watch a few days of their training camp, I jumped at the chance. A ten-foot-tall chain-link fence surrounded the practice field, but I could see everything I wanted to see. As soon as the practice sessions ended, my dad and I ran over to the gate through which all the players had to pass to go to the locker room. Security tape kept us back enough to let the players pass, but we were close enough to get autographs. I really wanted star running back Herschel Walker’s autograph, so I pushed my way to the front, hoping to get his attention.
On our second day at the camp my dad and I stood next to the fence waiting for Herschel Walker to pass by. Even though practice had ended, the kickers stayed out on the field practicing field goals. The gate was on the end of the field just past the goalposts, which meant footballs from the kickers kept bouncing up close to us. As I watched the kickers boom footballs while I also kept an eye out for my favorite player, kicker Fuad Reveiz nailed one. The ball flew right up next to the fence, hit the ground, then bounced up and over the fence and landed on top of a utility shed that was maybe a yard beyond the fence. The moment I saw the ball go up on the shed, I ran over to the fence next to the shed and started climbing. By the time my dad realized what was happening I was nearly to the top. The security guard didn’t even get a word out before I jumped from the top of the fence to the shed roof. I found the football, tucked it under my arm, and climbed back down to my dad. The security guard just sort of shook his head, then said, “I’m sorry, son, but I can’t allow you to keep the ball.”
I muttered something like “I understand” and handed the football back to him. The guard left with the ball. After he was gone my dad gave me a funny look and said, “What possessed you to do that?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “It just seemed like the thing to do.”
My dad laughed. “Good thing your mother wasn’t here to see it. She would have been worried sick.” By this point my dad was used to me acting on impulse, and to me climbing things. When I was only four or five he hung a rope from a tree in the yard. I guess he expected me to swing on it. Instead I climbed to the top. That rope went higher than this fence.
Shortly after I handed the ball back to the security guard, an equipment manager came up to me and asked, “Are you the brave boy who got my kicker’s ball back?”
“Yes, sir,” I said.
“Follow me, son,” he said.
I looked at my dad in shock. He stared back with the same expression. I followed the equipment manager over to the back of an equipment truck, where he handed me the ball that I retrieved. “Here you go, son. You earned it.” Right at that moment Qadry Ismail, the star wide receiver, ran up and threw me his sweat towel. I was speechless. This was a dream come true. By the way, I still have that football.
• • •
My first camp with the Colts was a lot like that Vikings camp when I was a boy. Because I was physically unable to perform, I spent most of the camp fetching things for the veteran tight ends. At the end of practice I gathered their helmets and pads and lugged them back to the locker room. My duties didn’t end once practice was over. One evening our number-one tight end, Marcus Pollard, came over to me and said, “Hey rook, make sure my rally run is in my room before I get there tonight. This is important, you got that?” Marcus had been in the league for ten years and carried a lot of weight in the locker room. Guys looked up to him.
With an unsure laugh I said, “Yeah, I got it,” but I had no idea what he was talking about. I tried to figure out what a rally run could possibly be, but I finally decided it had to be some sort of hazing ritual for the new guys, like the proverbial snipe hunt.
The next day I realized how wrong I had been. Several of the veteran players came over to me and told me Marcus was not happy with me. “What did I do?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” I was told, “but you had better be prepared for what’s coming.”
As I finally entered the foyer of our team meeting room, there was Marcus, and boy, did he make his presence known.
“Hey, rook!” he shouted. “This is my time! Do you understand me? I put my time in, so when I ask for something you will do it!”
I was so nervous at this point, I could barely speak. “Marcus, what are you talking about?” I asked.
“You didn’t make the rally run, that’s what!” he responded, and walked off.
“What is a rally run? I’ve never heard of it,” I replied but he didn’t hear me.
One of the other players who watched the whole exchange grabbed me. “Don’t you get it? A rally run means you go to Rally’s and buy him the burgers he wants.”
“Rally’s?” I asked.
“Yeah, the burger joint down the street!”
I winced. “Rally’s. Oh man. Thanks.” I turned and went off to find Marcus. “Marcus, man,” I said when I found him, “I’m so sorry I didn’t get your Rally run. I didn’t know what you were talking about because we don’t have Rally’s in Minnesota and I had never heard of it, but I guarantee you that I will not miss another one. I promise you that. Whatever you need, you tell me, and I will make sure it happens.”
Marcus seemed to calm down a little. “Okay, rook, I’ll give you another chance.”
Believe me, I never missed another Rally’s run nor did I ever act annoyed at hauling helmets and pads or anything else I was asked to do. Marcus noticed. He was, in my opinion, one of the greats. Over the course of the season he became a fantastic mentor and friend to me.
My screwing up the Rally’s run only made the apprehension I felt during camp that much worse, however. Because I was injured and unable to work out with the team, most of the time I felt very much like an outsider. There’s something about the training camp experience that brings a team together. Everyone leaves their homes and moves into the dorms on the campus of Indiana State University, in Terre Haute.I There’s nothing left to distract you as you set your focus completely on the upcoming season. Working out twice a day in near 100-degree heat and high humidity makes everyone equally miserable, but on the Colts everyone suffers together to prepare themselves to chase a much bigger goal and that is a Super Bowl championship. For the coaches, camp shows them who needs to be on the roster. For the players, it’s about becoming a team.
I may have been in Terre Haute, but I wasn’t part of the team, not yet at least.
• • •
Every player hopes to make a good first impression when they step onto the field for a game. I first made my mark on the field of the home of the Colts, the RCA Dome, not as a football player but as a singer. Before the first home exhibition game of the 2004 season the public address system announced, “Please rise and remove your hats for the singing of the national anthem, which is performed tonight by rookie tight end Ben Utecht.” I’m sure most people in the crowd went, “Who?” To be honest, most of the players and coaches probably went, “Who?” too.
And then I started singing. I felt a little nervous, but nothing like I did three years earlier when the University of Minnesota asked me and Dan Nystrom to sing the national anthem on our first home game after 9/11. Singing that day was one of the most emotional experiences of my life, and probably one of the high points of anything I will be asked to do as a singer. Nothing compares to the deep sense
of honor, patriotism, and gratitude I felt singing before a packed house of hurting people after 9/11. By comparison, singing the anthem for the first exhibition game of my first season with the Colts was pretty routine. I just didn’t want to screw it up.
By the time the crowd started cheering and clapping through “. . . and the home of the brave,” I felt pretty good about how I’d done. Coach Dungy, Tom Moore, and Howard Mudd all told me, “Good job,” which felt great. Since I wasn’t going to be out on the field as a player anytime that season, this was one of the few times I was probably going to hear affirmation from these coaches. The Colts strongly supported my singing passion and talents. None would prove more true than when Bill Polian and Coach Dungy allowed me to join Grammy winner Sandi Patty and the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra for sixteen Christmas shows during the 2007 season. I will never forget how many of my teammates and coaches came to the shows to show their support. It’s hard to explain what is was like catching passes from Peyton Manning and literally running straight from the game over to the concert hall to perform. One thing is for sure: it was a huge hit with the Indianapolis audience. If you’re wondering about Sandi Patty, fear not—that story is coming.
• • •
The team headed back to Terre Haute after the first exhibition game. I worked as hard as I could to learn offensive coordinator Tom Moore’s offense and all of offensive line coach Howard Mudd’s blocking schemes. Coach Dungy had hinted that he hoped I might be available by the middle of the season. The normal recovery time for sports hernia surgery is four to six weeks. Because I had major tears, the doctor had no idea when I might be back at full strength. I had to learn everything I could to be ready.
Throughout training camp the roster is cut down from ninety players to fifty-three. By the time the final cuts were made I was not on the fifty-three-man roster. However, I was placed on the physically unable to perform, or PUP, list. That meant I remained a part of the team, still under contract, even though I did not take up an active roster spot.
Once camp was over I moved out of the extended-stay hotel and found a downtown apartment near the Central Canal, just across the street from the Circle Centre Mall. It was a perfect place to live for a single guy. Even though I did not play on Sundays, I stayed very busy. I spent my days at the Colts’ facility going through rehab for my injury, as well as attending all the team meetings in preparation for games just like I was on the active roster. When Peyton Manning is your quarterback, the offensive schemes are more complex than for most teams. I had a lot to learn.
Karyn tried to come down to Indy once a month, but sometimes six or even eight weeks went by between visits. She worked part-time as a personal trainer at a Minneapolis athletic club. Most of her time went into preparing for the Miss Minnesota pageant. She’d won a local pageant, Miss Heart of the Lakes, which qualified her for the state competition. I soon discovered there was more to pageant training than just practicing a few numbers on the piano for the talent section. Most of her time was taken up with volunteer activities, speaking engagements, and all the other appearances she had to do as part of her preparation. That didn’t leave a lot of time for her to come see me, and I couldn’t leave the team during the season.
When Karyn did manage to come down to Indianapolis we had to spend the first few days together just getting reacquainted. The visits were also more than a little frustrating for both of us. Neither of us wanted a long engagement, but that’s where we found ourselves. Long engagements and a commitment to purity don’t normally go together. We made it work, and I took a lot of ice baths. This is also a difficult time for me to remember. To be honest with you, I struggle to remember many of Karyn’s trips down to see me. It’s embarrassing to have to ask your parents and wife what they remember about those trips because you can’t.
• • •
Since I spent most of my time alone, I got into a routine as the season progressed. Thankfully, I wasn’t the only injured player trying to work his way back onto the field. Another rookie, defensive back Bob Sanders, was in the same position as me. He starred at Iowa in college, which meant the two of us had gone up against one another several times. Now that we were teammates we rehabbed together and worked out together. Once we both were deemed fit to run drills we went up against one another in practice. No one other than the trainer paid a lot of attention to what we were doing. I wish they had because I had some good days against a guy who was drafted in the second round and went on to become a Pro Bowler during his time with the Colts.II
Bob was cleared to play a little over halfway through the season. He ended up playing in six games, and started four. Coach Dungy hoped I might be ready around the same time, but it was not to be. About the time Bob was put on the active roster the team moved me from the PUP list to the injured reserve list, or IR. Landing on the IR meant I was done for the season. However, I kept working out, trying to regain my strength, speed, and training.
The Colts started slow in the 2004 season. At one point we had a 4-3 record, which is far below our expectations. However, the team went on an eight-game winning streak and won our division. By this point I was starting to feel like my old self again. My abs felt good and my speed was coming back. I kept working hard, trying to prove myself for the next season and to be strong going into the next year’s organized team activities, or OTAs.
I was working out in the practice facility one day with one of the trainers, Erin Barill, when Peyton Manning and the offensive line came in for a photo session. I only worked out when the team was not using the practice field. The photographer asked if I minded waiting until they were finished before I started again. “Sure, no problem,” I said. Then I pulled Erin over. “Okay, Erin, as soon as they’re done with this thing, we’re going to time it so that when Peyton turns around to walk out and goes past us, you throw a huge post pattern for me.”
“Sure, Ben. Whatever you want,” Erin replied.
Erin and I kept busy doing a few things down in one of the end zones away from Peyton and the offensive line. I kept watching them, however. The moment the photo session ended I nodded toward Erin. “Let’s do this,” I said.
I lined up wide. Erin said, “Hike,” and I took off down the field. I was burning it up. I got to the ten-yard mark, planted hard, and cut toward the post. I took maybe one more step when the proverbial turf monster came up out of the ground and grabbed hold of my cleat. Erin released the ball while I stumbled all over myself. My feet started flying in different directions and then boom, I fell flat on my face right in front of Peyton Manning as the ball soared over me. Thankfully, Peyton and the line just kept on walking. I wanted him to be anxious to add a weapon like me to his arsenal. That wasn’t quite the first impression I made on him.
• • •
The 2004 Colts season ended like too many Colts seasons have ended: with a playoff loss in Foxborough, Massachusetts, to Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. Once the season was over the head of the Colts’ scouting department, Chris Polian, had me come in for a workout session. Chris is Bill’s son. He wanted to put me through the same drills I would have done the year before if I worked out at the combine. Now keep in mind that if I had worked out at the combine, I would have spent nearly two months doing nothing but practicing the combine drills. Instead, I went into them cold.
The first thing Chris had me do was run a forty-yard dash. The forty is pretty much the standard for measuring speed at every level of football. I took my mark, listened for the starter’s pistol, then took off. I don’t really remember my time that day. However, I do remember turning around after I finished and seeing a huge smile on Chris’s face. Mission accomplished.
Then Chris had me run what is known as the L drill. The L drill consists of running through a series of cones set up in the shape of an L. I hadn’t run an L drill in a long time, if ever. Again, I do not know what my time was, or even what a good time on the L might be. However, after I ran it Chris called me
over. “If you had run this time in the combine, you would have been in the top two or three percent of all receivers,” he said.
“Receivers?” I asked.
“Right; not just tight ends but wide receivers as well,” he said with a smile. “Great job, Ben.”
Chris was so happy about my times because I showed him wide receiver speed even though I was six-seven and 250 pounds. Guys my size don’t usually have that kind of speed. Those who do make an impact. And that’s what I hoped to do in the off-season organized team activities and minicamps, then on into training camp in Terre Haute. Coach Dungy and Mr. Polian had taken a leap of faith with me by giving me a contract when I could not play. I was determined to show them their faith was well placed. The next season could not arrive soon enough for me.
* * *
I. The Colts’ training camp has since been moved to Anderson University in Anderson, Indiana.
II. The Pro Bowl is the NFL all-star game.
CHAPTER 11
TRANSITIONS
WHEN THE CALENDAR SWITCHED FROM 2004 to 2005 everything in my life seemed up in the air. Karyn and I were engaged, but neither of us had any idea when we might get married. She was scheduled to compete in the Miss Minnesota pageant in June. If she lost, we planned on throwing together a quick wedding within the next month, possibly in her parents’ backyard. The wedding and honeymoon all had to be over before the end of July and the start of the Colts’ training camp. If she won, we’d have to push back those plans at least a year, possibly longer, depending on how she did in the Miss America pageant.
In the weeks leading up to the Miss Minnesota pageant, Karyn became even busier than she had been before, if that was even possible. Every candidate has a platform, and Karyn’s was fighting childhood obesity. She couldn’t just say this was her platform and wait to do something after the pageant. In the months between her winning the title of Miss Heart of the Lakes and the Miss Minnesota contest she became very involved with the American Heart Association’s youth health initiatives, including the Jump Rope for Heart and Hoop for Heart programs. She also worked with the Food and Drug Administration and the U.S. Department of Agriculture to connect U of M student athletes with elementary schools to promote fitness. On top of that, she had to practice for the different aspects of the pageant and work a part-time job. In her spare time she continued working on her golf game, with the goal of possibly joining the LPGA tour someday. Needless to say, we didn’t get to see a lot of each other.