by Ben Utecht
I must also thank all my friends at Howard Books and Simon & Schuster for their hard work and expertise in making this experience truly special. My wish is that our project will provide hope and challenge where it is needed.
Many thanks to my friends Rick Barron and Tommy Barbarella for taking a day to write one of the most impactful songs I have ever heard and gotten the chance to sing.
Thank you, NFLPA, for representing my needs and fighting for my future security. Tim English, you are amazing, and your diligence and passion for accountability and justice in the league are inspiring. Many thanks also to my personal lawyer and mentor, Scott Hillstrom, for standing strong next to me. Your presence provided much-needed education, protection, and perspective. Thank you for mentoring me in many areas in my life. Your friendship has become very special to me, and I look forward to our future conversations.
My entire life up to age thirty revolved around a game. That game is football. I love football, and that will never change. I want to take this opportunity to thank the many coaches in my life who used the gridiron to mold me into the man I am today. Thank you to my high school coach, Bob Majeski, and his staff in Hastings, Minnesota; without you, none of this would have been possible. Thank you, Glen Mason and Vic Adamle, for seeing something special in a kid from a small river town in Minnesota. Coach Mason, without your handshake promise that I could come play for the Golden Gophers, my dream of playing in the NFL would’ve been shattered. Thank you, Tony Dungy and Bill Polian, for believing that an injury-broken tight end could be rehabilitated into a starting Super Bowl champion. Coach Dungy, your effect on my life is indescribable. Concussions may have dismantled our business relationship, but I respect and thank the Brown family and Marvin Lewis for giving me a chance to reach my potential as an athlete. The strongest part of the game is the men you share the field with. Thank you to all my teammates for the privilege of playing alongside you. I learned so much from many of you, and I will cherish every memory I can hold on to of the experiences we’ve shared together.
What a family. I am so blessed! Mom and Dad, you are my heartbeat. Thank you for being my first coaches, who trained and built me up the right way. I hope the path I have chosen is one that honors the endless hours you both put into helping me develop character and identity. I love you so much. Ashley, my soul twin, you are such a joy in my life, and I can’t imagine a day or a memory without you. Thank you for loving me no matter the circumstances; I assure you that you will always have my heart.
Last, but certainly not least, my beauties. Oh, what a joy to be surrounded by exquisite women! I love you all so much that when I try to think of the right words to use to describe it I start to cry. Karyn, you are an angel in the flesh, and you love corny things, so I know you’ll like that statement. Thank you for pouring your heart into this book with me. I know it must have been difficult for you to allow yourself to experience your greatest fears. But we did it together, just as we do everything, and that’s why we will always be A-okay! Karyn, you are such an amazing wife and mother. I can’t thank you enough for saying yes to me and for giving me the honor of being your husband and the father to your children. To my four miracles, Elleora, Katriel, Amy, and Haven: you have given my life purpose. My relevance lies within the structure of being your dad. I am so excited to watch you grow, learn, imagine, create, laugh, cry, win, lose, and turn into the women God has destined you to become. I will do my best to love you the way you deserve to be loved: unconditionally. No matter what the future may bring to my health and to my mind, know this truth and lock it away in the vault of your identity: I love you, and You Will Always Be My Girls.
—Ben (Dad)
Where it all began, in the backyard with Dad. That’s a true NFL ball, by the way. Ironic . . .
Little me rocking a sport coat—dress to impress!
My sister, Ashley, and me in our Lindstrom, Minnesota, parsonage.
Jeff and Lori Utecht (Dad and Mom)
Catch made versus the Tennessee Titans.
Pregame warm-ups before defeating the Kansas City Chiefs.
The family after a big win in Indianapolis. Left to right: Me, Karyn’s sister Kristin, Braden (nephew), Larry and Sandy Stordahl (in-laws), Karyn, Ashley, Doug (brother-in-law), Jeff and Lori Utecht.
Doug and Ashley (Utecht) Goodmundson enjoying the pregame Super Bowl experience in Miami.
Karyn and me during my first Nashville music photo shoot. What a babe she is!
Me and my beautiful wife, Karyn, on our wedding day.
Walking my beautiful grandmothers down the aisle at my wedding. On the left is Grandma Joan Perschman; on the right is Grandma Donna Utecht.
Me, Karyn, and Larry and Sandy Stordahl in Austria.
Elleora Grace Utecht, just hours old.
Daddy with Katriel and Amy.
Daddy and Elleora.
Mom and Dad after we won the Super Bowl.
Holding the Lombardi Trophy at the Super Bowl after party.
Me and Karyn at the Super Bowl ring celebration in Indianapolis.
Me and Coach Dungy at the Super Bowl ring celebration.
My sister, Ashley, at her wedding.
My parents and Karyn, along with Erik (Karyn’s brother) and Katy Stordahl, at my New Year’s Eve performance with the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra.
My vocal performance at a Gaither Homecoming event. Bill and Gloria were wonderful mentors to me in Indiana.
Singing with the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
Preseason football game against the New Orleans Saints at Paul Brown Stadium in Cincinnati.
Daddy-daughter guitar time with Katriel. She is rocking the Little Mermaid guitar and totally shredding it!
My professional speaking photo, taken at my second Nashville photo shoot.
Amy (left), Elleora (middle), and Katriel (right) with baby Haven.
Me, Karyn, and our four girls (left to right: Katriel, Amy, Haven, and Elleora).
A family trip to Mexico (left to right: Katriel, Amy, and Elleora; holding Haven).
BEN UTECHT played tight end for the Indianapolis Colts and Cincinnati Bengals. As a national speaker, author, and advocate for brain health, Utecht has worked diligently to spread education and awareness regarding concussions, and recently accepted the Ambassador award presented by the Minnesota Brain Injury Alliance. He was the national spokesperson on concussion for the American Academy of Neurology and sits on the board of the American Brain Foundation. He received the 2014 Public Leadership in Neurology Award from the AAN, which is the organization’s most prestigious honor.
MARK TABB has authored or coauthored more than thirty books, including the number-one New York Times bestseller Mistaken Identity.
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Copyright © 2016 by Ben Utecht
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First Howard Books hardcover edition August 2016
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN 978-1-5011-3660-3
ISBN 978-1-5011-3669-6 (ebook)