I tried to hide my reaction but it was too late.
Anvil laughed. “Don’t think she relishes the shock.”
Chevelle was undeterred. “Well, Grey, then.”
Anvil smiled as he continued on and Grey fell in beside me, our horses joining the group’s pace automatically as he began his version of training. “You know what I find helpful?”
“Being able to practically disappear and reappear?” Irritation brought out sarcasm. But he laughed and I softened.
His eyes glinted as he grinned conspiratorially. “Distraction.”
Our lesson continued through the day and he was good at it, the teaching and distraction. I’d forgotten most of what had been worrying me and was concentrating on retaining what I was learning.
I kept silent the next morning, hoping no one volunteered to teach me about a new weapon or something equally painful. But Ruby had taken to telling stories again and no one mentioned my practice. I smiled, returning to the sky to hide from the terrible fairy tales and the constant looming threat of practice.
It was warmer today, the haze was clearer. I examined our new surroundings; the sun warmed the colors of a patch of dormant weeds to almost golden. The new color was a change to the scenery and I kept looking, trying to pick out more, when something caught my eye.
I felt pressure on my arm and realized I had gasped. Someone was talking to me so I pulled back and opened my own eyes to find Ruby.
She was grasping my arm tight, her face worried. “What is it Frey?”
“I don’t know.” I tried to sort my thoughts, place what I saw. And then I knew what was wrong with the picture. “Blonde hair.”
Their faces reflected mine, I was sure. It wasn't a dark elf.
“Was it a council member?” Ruby asked.
“I don’t think so, she, well, she didn’t look like it. And he had a dark cloak with a hood.”
Chevelle spoke from my other side, his voice urgent. “Where?”
I hadn’t noticed how close he was and it took a moment to find the answer. “About two miles.” I pointed out the direction and he was gone. I kicked up my horse, racing behind him, trying to keep up, but the others were faster.
They were surrounding the strangers before I got a chance to see anything. I threw myself off the side of my horse, leaving him where a couple of the other horses stood, and stumbled blindly toward the group. I pushed through where they had gathered, determined to not be kept out of another… well, whatever this was. Chevelle’s hand flew up to block me, keep me back. I pressed but his open palm was strong on my chest, restraining me. Rhys and Rider were already there. The plain black cloak was a pile on the ground and I realized a moment later that the man I had seen was crumpled beneath it, motionless. I looked to the girl and suddenly knew she was next.
“Stop!”
And they did, if only to look at me.
My outburst probably only bought me a second but I couldn’t capitalize on it. I couldn’t because, standing before me, behind Chevelle’s hand holding me back, behind the outstretched arms of the tall, slender, silver-haired Rhys and Rider, was a sight my brain could not process.
The girl… no, I couldn’t even think it. But there it was, right in front of my wide eyes. The blonde hair that I had seen from above framed a round face, flushed cheeks, full lips, and round eyes, heavy blue and filled with shock and fear. It can’t be. And then the breeze caught her shoulder-length locks and flipped them back just enough to reveal rounded ears. Impossible.
I almost fainted. All that saved me was that in the split second before blackness hit, I saw a nod. I knew what that nod meant. Chevelle, standing inches in front of me, was instructing the pair of elves before this… this human… to end her life.
“No.”
It came out with more desperation than I’d intended but it caused them to hesitate. Chevelle looked at my face, examining it. I stared into his eyes, a wordless plea. I couldn’t look back to her.
The seconds dragged on, agonizing. His face was hard as he finally turned from me, calling it off. I wasn’t sure why. But I couldn’t help but imagine it was because… because she was like me. I felt my cheeks flush and I looked down, away from their sight. And then I slipped off the edge.
When finally I came to, I was sure it had all been a dream. I almost laughed at the absurdity as I tried to sit up, holding my throbbing head. I felt Ruby’s hand steady me and she purred something soothing as she handed me a drink of water. It helped. I opened my eyes and she was right there, trying to hide the concern in her face. And something else. What was wrong with her? I realized Chevelle was beside me as well, and though he was angled oddly away from me, he turned to look at me when he’d noticed I was awake. It irritated me that this fainting thing was becoming somewhat commonplace but I was still confused about their postures. And Ruby was unusually quiet; she looked like she might have been biting her tongue. I hoped I wasn’t about to get dusted for some reason that I couldn’t see.
I started to scan my surroundings for said reason but Chevelle was blocking my view of the others, who seemed to be gathered several yards away around something. I leaned, straining to see past him and he put a hand on my arm to steady me.
“Easy, Frey. You should rest more, don’t get too excited.”
What?
“Just lie here for a while.”
And then it struck me. He wasn’t trying to steady me, he was trying to restrain me.
My glare hit him and he reluctantly released my arm and straightened up, still prepared to block me but allowing me to see.
At first, I was just numb. And then, though I had no idea how much time had passed, I realized my jaw was hanging open. Once I was able to regain control of the muscles to close it, they went into overdrive, clenching so tight I wondered in the back of my mind if my teeth might shatter. I felt the blood in my cheeks and I wasn’t getting enough air from the harsh breaths I was forcing through my nose. But I knew not to release my jaw. I knew because, from much experience, I would regret what I was about to say. So, instead, I just kept staring.
I watched the others as they talked with her, slowly noticing I was awake and turning to see my reaction. I was surprised by the fact that she was speaking with them, and they with her. Like she was, well, I didn’t know, maybe like she was one of us. They seemed genuinely interested in her. Especially Steed.
And then I felt the flush of my cheeks brighten. Yes, he was particularly interested in her. He sat close, leaning in as he often had in our private conversations.
Ruby’s face was unexpectedly in front of mine, her eyes wide, and I realized I was growling. An errant thought told me I should be attempting some kind of control but I couldn’t care less. An actual human was sitting there. It was just too much. Somehow, I still must have believed they didn’t exist, though I’d read from my own mother’s diary that I was… half. Part of me must have known she had lost her grip on reality. The things she’d said, surely she wasn’t completely sane. But here I was staring directly at what was, though I’d never actually seen one, undoubtedly a human.
And she was talking to my friends, my family. A vicious fire lit in my palms and Ruby clasped her hands around my wrists, trying for control. I knew she couldn’t be burned because she was half fire fairy, a hard lesson I had learned during training, but I’m not sure it would have mattered. I had been, for months now, teetering on a ledge. I couldn’t even say where that ledge was now.
I was standing before I’d realized it. And then, a brief flash of memory, too quick to act on, told me the mumbling chant coming from Chevelle was a problem.
Blackness.
I couldn’t say how long I’d been immobilized. But when I did finally regain control, I didn’t want to move. My head throbbed and my ears rang. I’d been down before, Chevelle wasn’t causing the pain. That was me, fighting my own brain.
But how could I not?
I knew Ruby was waiting beside me, anxious for me to respond. But I didn’t. I couldn’t m
anage any kind of composure.
Eventually, the ringing in my ears lessened enough that I could hear the sound of the girl’s voice, which brought on another round of ringing.
A human. I could not, would not, allow myself to be compared to that. It burned right through me.
No one asked me to move, no one mentioned we should be getting on our way. No one did anything but entertain themselves with the stupid, idiotic human.
And time passed.
I had, after so long lying still, eventually moved into a sitting position. Facing away from them.
They seemed to enjoy the oddity and had all gone down in my estimation because of it. And even though Ruby and Chevelle had kept their distance from her, staying instead in close proximity to me, I wasn’t sure they weren’t included in that group. I had my suspicions that they were not disinterested, but were there to keep me in line.
I stared down, my arms wrapped tight around my knees, concentrating on picking at the dark fabric of my pants. When I heard a peculiar noise from her general direction, I wasn’t able to stop myself from looking over my shoulder, a knee-jerk reaction. She was looking at me.
That dirty little shit-monkey was looking at me.
“Ow!” I yelped when Ruby stomped my foot. Apparently, I had said that last part aloud.
My toe throbbed. But Ruby was wrong if she thought I’d be abashed. That girl had been eyeing me with pity, like I was crazy or something.
I heard the noise again but forced myself to ignore it, stomping off from the group. I mumbled under my breath that I should have let them lop her head off and Ruby made a sharp sound but I couldn’t tell whether it was a laugh or a hiss.
I spent the rest of that day on a rock at least a hundred yards away from them. And then Chevelle came to get me. I imaged he was smug; he’d intended to be done with her right then and there. I’d stopped him, I hadn’t wanted them to kill her. The realization lessened my irrational anger just enough to allow me to breathe a little. I hadn’t noticed how tight my chest was. I tried to relax it as he stood beside me.
“We should continue tomorrow.” He was so hard to read. I could only really tell when he was angry.
I nodded.
He looked like he might reach out to me, comfort me (or possibly smack me for my tantrum), and then he turned and walked back to the camp. I sighed. And then I got up and followed.
I found I was able to cope with the human’s presence by completely ignoring it. It may have been petty, but it worked for me. It seemed that, because I had spared her life and gone into a marathon pout, which allowed them to spend time with her, the group had taken to the human and she was now to be under their care. Excluding, of course, Chevelle and Ruby, who were constantly throwing glances toward me, I presumed checking my stability.
But I had been a model of good behavior, excepting the one incident around the camp fire. Once I’d been back with the group, it wasn’t long before I’d seen the source of the peculiar noise. It was the yelp of a small dark and fluffy puppy the girl they’d been calling Molly had kept tucked under her arm, beneath her heavy shawl. When I’d proven capable of self-control, she’d given it more leeway, allowing it to romp and play for the clear delight of its new audience. Her new audience. At that moment, it inexplicably attacked her, biting at her viciously.
Like I said, excepting the one incident. The girl had been baffled by it but had immediately forgiven him, the tiny black pup with deep mahogany eyes named Snickers.
When we reached the base of the mountain, the overall feeling of discomfort in the group had built to stony silence. We were hunting down Grand Council and we had a human… pet. We made camp and Ruby escorted her from the group for privacy. It was Ruby’s only real contact with her. I was glaring in their direction, wondering why she didn’t just piddle on our blankets like the pup, when someone smacked me in the back of the head. I whipped around but couldn’t tell who had done it so I gave up and threw myself down on a stone to wait for dinner.
And then I realized they were talking about her. They were trying to be discreet, but I knew what they were saying. They were trying to figure out what to do with her. How to get rid of her. My chest tightened as I focused on the conversation.
Chevelle didn’t trust Grey or Anvil with her but I didn’t know why. Rhys and Rider had refused.
Steed spoke up. “I’ll do it.”
I was talking before I could contain myself, the words sour. “Sure you’ll take her home.”
They all turned to stare at me. It hit me that I was furious. And that I was standing. Chevelle’s face was hard. I had a flashback of the look he’d given me at Ruby’s so long ago, when he’d thought I was jealous of Steed. I decided to shut my mouth, stay out of it. I forced myself to sit back down.
But they were done. My outburst had cost me knowing their decision. I lowered my eyes to the ground as Ruby came back with the girl.
They chattered as they prepared food, as if nothing important was happening, as if this was just another common day. Ruby moved to sit with Grey and Anvil, telling stories of the fairies again. I faded in and out of her tale of Violet Moon. She had come from the South, further than any area of record, and she possessed a wicked knowledge of the changelings. The stories said she was bored with her native land and traveled North, looking for those who would not know of her disguises and deceits. My head lay cradled in darkness where my arms made a nest across my lap as Ruby began regaling us with Violet’s seduction of a young fire fairy, giving plenty of extra and unnecessary details of his physique, when I heard Steed say my name and I looked up, across the fire to him.
I almost choked.
He hadn’t said my name. He’d used my nickname… well, my old nickname… on her. My face burned. He didn’t notice my glare. He was still talking to her, laughing. He reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear and I heard a loud pop, or maybe felt it. I was off balance for a moment and then I realized it was fire.
I gasped as I looked around to see how many of them noticed. Everyone. Not that I could blame them, I had blown fireballs out of my squeezed fists so hard they had actually been audible.
They stood motionless, staring at me.
Finally, Ruby spoke. “Frey… are you alright?”
I took stock. “Yeah.” What just happened?
She took a tentative step toward me. “Have you been practicing your fire?”
I shook my head; I hadn’t practiced at all since the girl had shown up.
“How do you feel?”
“Fine.” I held up my hands. Maybe I should try to do it again?
“No!” She must have read my intentions. “Please, Freya, if you must, then do it away from here.”
I took a closer look at my surroundings, I had burned or singed pretty much everything in a ten-foot radius. “Sorry.” I started to walk off; Chevelle had joined me before I’d gone two paces. He was silent as he walked beside me.
When we were much more than a safe distance from the others, he finally stopped. So I stopped as well, but a few steps later. I couldn’t place his expression as I glanced over my shoulder at him so I simply faced forward and took a deep breath. I had to force myself not to close my eyes, though I still squinted some, as I held my hands out to release the flame. But once I had, I knew my eyes were wide; I was astonished at the size and power of it and it hadn’t even tired me. I turned back to Chevelle, I thought he was hopeful. Or maybe he was just trying not to laugh at my expression.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
“Good.” I smiled. And then I felt like a dork so I straightened up to match his posture.
That almost made him laugh. He stepped toward me.
I froze.
We were alone. And he’d positioned himself square in front of me, not an arm’s length away. Not near that far. He didn’t speak, he just looked into my eyes, like he was searching for someone.
At that moment, I remembered touching him. I remembered looking at his strong hands and
placing my fingers just so on his.
And I did.
Before I could process what had happened, his other hand was bringing my face to his for a desperate kiss.
It only lasted a moment before he realized his mistake. He pulled back to look at me again as he spoke softly, almost a whisper. “Who are you?”
I shook my head and he understood. He pulled slightly away from me. I was ashamed, I had no excuse for my actions. I’d tricked him. The power, the touch. And then I got lost in the thought… I had remembered the touch. I looked back at him. “What’s happening?”
His face was pained but he didn’t have time to answer. We heard the voices of Grey and Anvil as they approached. Chevelle stepped back from me as we waited for them.
My head spun. The three of them had started an apparently serious conversation but I couldn’t tell what it was about. I merely followed them and massaged my temples as we made our way back to the camp. Steed was still near the girl, quiet. Ruby had my blankets out and I went straight to them, lay down and closed my eyes.
My dreams were confusing. They were almost all about Chevelle, but some were horrifying and some were not. I dreamt of the touch but instead of the memory, which was not at all romantic, only personal, the dream included the kiss. And I dreamt of things that were not tainted with memory, only fantastic and impossible. I had some of the old dreams as well, clinging to him as we rode away from the flames, tears and ash smearing my cheeks. There was the dream of the cliff, too. I stood looking out, across the horizon and he stepped beside me, placing his hand gently at the small of my back. But this time, when he shoved me off, instead of flailing the entire way down, wings popped out and caught the air as I took flight, soaring in the empty expanse.
I woke to the sound of quiet laughter and was irritated to find them surrounding her again. I rode in silence through the day, relishing a couple of the better dreams.
Once we had reached the base of the mountain, the terrain had turned almost immediately to level ground. The trees were wiry and jagged-looking but they were trees. And there was grass. But instead of feeling relief at the more familiar landscape, I wondered how big a mistake I’d made by leaving the castle.
Frey Saga Book II: Pieces of Eight Page 4