Though I knew I was still breathing, could hear the pound of my heart, I was aware of no other feeling but the crushing pressure on my chest. My thoughts ran wild. I'd never even considered why council had been there. I had merely read that my mother had decided to destroy her father. I knew they were circling her from my own memories, knew that they'd been trying to stop her. I'd never realized he wasn't there in those visions. Asher.
I don't know how long I sat so before I saw Chevelle's face, awash with fury. He tried to compose himself as my eyes met his. He approached us and I could see the unspoken warning directed at Rhys and Rider. I wondered if that was the reason they were so often separate from the group, not because they were better watchers, but because they would tell me whatever I'd ask. I was fearful for them, but also afraid I had lost their openness, that they would tell me no more. My thought must have been obvious, because when they stood in tandem to excuse themselves, they bowed toward me. "We are here but to serve you, Elfreda." I attempted a smile.
I realized then that Grey and Anvil had grown quiet. And that I'd consumed far too much wine. I swayed and then laid my head on the table without another glance at them.
Chevelle was silent as he lifted me in his arms and carried me to my bed. He laid me down, brushed the hair from my face, and then walked wordlessly from the room.
There was no way to be certain whether it was the wine or the stories, but my dreams were fierce. The fire that surrounded my mother flamed hotter, felt as if it were scorching my skin as I watched her burn. I could see shapes in the flickers, a blaze of deep red curling amongst the orange and amber tongues, and I made out Ruby, the fire fairy, dancing in the hideous glow. The flames seemed endlessly in the background of the other images, the screaming, broken bodies as Fannie razed the village, the faces of each council member that she had butchered, the blood spilling from the mouth of the panther as she reaped a terrible revenge, her eyes finding mine, knowing. They were there as I saw Junnie, a smoldering luminosity in the background, not reaching her as she ran, her council colors flowing in the tassels that waved behind her. She wore an unfamiliar dark cloak and I felt she was hiding something, some threatening mystery. They crackled and popped, hostile and foreboding until, suddenly, they were gone and I was standing in darkness. A faint light showed me the face of Rune then, as he focused on the body before him, the one who writhed in pain and abruptly became rigid when the torment redoubled. I stood, helplessly watching, waiting for what I knew was coming, though never quite fast enough. Finally, I heard the crack but, instead of what I had expected, instead of seeing the strike hit Rune, grace him with an eternal scar, the lightning flashed bright, a painful brilliance that illuminated Chevelle in a way that was not just clear, but lucid. At that moment, I saw him more clearly than I could ever remember seeing him. And I knew that he was Rune's son.
Though drenched in sweat and aching everywhere, I woke with an unexpected calmness. That was, until I realized I was not alone. Chevelle was balanced on the edge of my bed, trying to wake me or watching me sleep, I wasn't sure. But I jerked at the surprise of seeing him, doubled by the shock of the dream, and then I was speechless.
He observed me silently for a moment and then, when he thought I'd gotten my bearings, he handed me a drink from the side table. I accepted it gratefully, my hands still trembling.
"You should take better care of yourself," he admonished gently.
He had no way of knowing the actual cause of my distress, though I couldn't be positive the wine wasn't partially to blame, but I wasn't about to tell him, now entirely aware of the reason behind his strong reaction to my other dream, when I'd mentioned his father's name to Anvil. I remembered the color drain from his face and I suddenly became paranoid he'd somehow know that I knew, which resulted in a flush, trailed immediately by Chevelle standing and swiftly walking from the room, informing me on the way out (without looking back) that I was to meet Ruby in the practice rooms.
Ugh.
I sluggishly crawled out of bed, splashed my face, and attempted to get dressed. I was suffering from the preceding night's festivities, but, in truth, that wasn't entirely why I dragged my feet. I wasn't exactly in a hurry to see Ruby, now that Anvil had filled me in on my prior issue with fairies, which was apparently causing Ruby problems of her own. I'd been sheltered from the public so they wouldn't recognize my bonds were still in place, for my protection, so I hadn't realized she wasn't free to move about as the others until she'd taken a separate route to the castle. I wasn't sure how to deal with that, though it wasn't altogether my fault, considering they'd kept so much from me, for my protection, and I was missing the majority of my memories. Like Rune... and Chevelle.
I tried not to let the dream take over my thoughts. Concentrating on lost memories made my spinning head throb and my ears ring. But I couldn't help it, I kept returning to it. Something about it bothered me more than it should. And it wasn't merely the agony that I'd repeatedly watched him endure. It was something else, something forgotten.
It felt like it was right there, alongside the anguish of seeing him tormented, the knowledge of his father, the gratitude toward Anvil for his intervention. A significant truth, just out of reach. But it was adding to my headache so I brushed it off, counting stones in the corridor on my way to the practice rooms.
Which, to my surprise, I found right away. I was certain it was because I'd wanted to avoid Ruby, who stood front and center, impatiently waiting for me.
She saw my state and shook her head, clicking in disapproval. "Can't you at least try?"
I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to smooth it. She wasn't impressed. The way she was looking at me, like it was time for a renovation, actually made me eager for practice. "Ready to get started?" I asked.
She smirked. "Chevelle asked me to step it up this morning."
Oh crap.
"Prepare yourself, Elfreda."
Before I had a chance to do anything other than cringe, the room lit up in a circle of flames so massive, I could not breathe. I struggled for air, wincing as the heat assailed my skin, my eyes. I had no notion of even where Ruby stood as she taunted me. "React, Frey. Counter."
I had nothing, no ideas, no answer to the fire. The circle flared and closed in, advancing at an alarming rate, and still, I stood helpless. And then the flames disappeared completely, as if they'd never been.
"Seriously?" Ruby scorned. "What is with you, Frey?"
I was considering telling her when we heard Grey approach, coming in through the far door. We turned to greet him when, just as he entered, a large, golden-furred mountain lion leaped from the pillars behind him, nearly landing on his back before it was tossed aside by magic.
"Damn it, Frey," he complained.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ruby fight a smile as I apologized. "Right, I'll send them away. Sorry."
"Come to watch practice?" Ruby asked him.
"I hear it's going to be a good one," he teased.
"Not so far." Ruby directed an accusing glance my way.
I groaned.
"What happened? I thought you'd been doing well. Heard you'd even bested Red."
Ruby shot him a fierce glare.
"I don't know about that," I said. "I just can't think of-" My sentence was cut off midway, I'd even forgotten I was speaking when the memory came back. I'd been watching Ruby, the affectionately foul glare she directed at Grey, or maybe it was just being here, in the practice rooms, but I remembered. And it had been in the diary, I was nearly positive.
They were both staring at me, waiting on a revelation when I turned from the room. "I have to go lie down. I'll come back later."
I ran straight to my room and dug through my pack until I found it, hands trembling as I skimmed through the pages for the entry. My fingers ran over my mother's script, the words I had recalled, the words that supported the memory that was calling to me.
Father is already discussing arranged marriages, even mentioning Rune’
s son, of all people.
A flush seemingly ran from the weathered page, up my arms as it flooded my neck, my cheeks, overwhelming the thud in my chest, asking too much. I heard someone behind me and barely recognized the realization that I'd forgotten to close the door in my haste as I threw the book aside and turned, expecting Ruby.
But it wasn't Ruby. The heat drained from my face, leaving it colorless, taking my breath, drying my throat, incapacitating me as I watched Chevelle, staring at the diary on the floor beside me, knowing that he'd seen me, he'd seen what I'd read, he knew that I knew.
He was motionless for an eternity before his eyes made their way to mine. I waited, speechless, unsure if I should prevent his explanation, part of me certain I didn't want to know more. But as he opened his mouth to speak, I could almost feel the whole memory returning, teasing, as if it would come back if he would only name it.
He closed his eyes as footsteps approached and the act felt like an apology.
I was unable to look away but regained my breath just before Ruby entered behind him. He took one deep breath before he opened his eyes and turned to her, giving no explanation, consequently implying he was waiting on hers.
She uncharacteristically faltered before answering. "I was just checking on Frey." She was clearly confused, knowing I'd only moments ago run from the practice rooms.
It was silent as we waited for his response, my mind running through a thousand scenarios that started with him commanding her to go, allowing us to be alone; him leaving without another word, without another look at me; him turning on me, furious; or the room bursting into flames as Ruby had demonstrated earlier, which, oddly enough, seemed like the least painful option.
But none of the visions I'd had prepared me for his quiet words as he faced me and asked, "How are you, Freya?"
I felt my brows pull up and struggled for composure. My mouth opened to reply but quickly closed again when I realized I'd no idea how to respond. His dark blue eyes were on mine, waiting, and though I couldn't look away, I knew Ruby's were as well, her deep emerald eyes that so resembled mine. And then I was lost again, fixed on a memory that wouldn't quite develop, somewhere in the blackest sapphire.
But before I could draw it to the surface, Grey was there, summoning Chevelle. At first, he didn't take his gaze off me, merely raising a hand to dismiss it, but Grey explained, "It is Juniper Fountain."
He dropped his hand and his face fell slightly, another apology, before he reluctantly turned and followed Grey out. Ruby moved beside me and I was suddenly drained. She helped me to the bed and, though my mind swirled endlessly, sleep took me quickly.
I would have dreamed of Chevelle, I was certain, if I'd only known what to think, how to feel about the revelations. As it was, he was merely background noise in a strangely calm, though murky, set of scenes. I walked from the castle, the other Elfreda, draped in a dark cloak, masked by the dark of night as I wandered the mountain. And I was me as I walked, still cloaked, through the long corridors of the castle, endlessly unable to find my way. I sat alone in a room, turning a flat stone over and over in my hand, lacing it through my fingers, focusing on it solely. And then I was outside the castle again, in the morning haze, walking from the path just before the large stone that tilted toward the pass, curving around and down, between familiar dark gray patches of rock until I found the entry.
I bolted upright the moment I woke, remembering the last words I'd heard before falling asleep. Junnie was here. I found myself running from the room and down the corridor before I realized I had no idea where to go. I'd been warned not to leave the "safe" areas of the castle without escort by my guard so I only knew a section of rooms. I started toward the dining area but turned, heading instead for the room where I'd caught Chevelle with his tall guest before we'd left the castle. Briefly thinking it was odd, I'd saved the memory. My boots slapped lightly on the stone floor, not slowing until I turned into the doorway, surprised that I'd located it so easily and actually guessed correctly that they'd be there. But there was no Junnie, just Ruby, Steed, and... Chevelle. I instantly flushed and dropped my head to hide it.
Ruby approached. "Feeling better?"
I'd forgotten why I came. I couldn't speak. She waited.
When I didn't reply, she patted my arm. "Steed, why don't you take Frey to get something to eat. After we're done here, I'll meet you for practice."
I was shuffled from the room and didn't recover myself until we were walking through the dining-room door. I cursed.
"What's that?" Steed laughed. He directed me to a chair at the end of a long rectangular table as he sat across from me, the corner between us.
"Junnie," I said. "I wanted to see Junnie."
"She's not here, Frey. She merely stopped in on her way." I clearly wasn't satisfied so he added, "She passed through, only briefly, before resuming her course. Grey escorted her from the gates hours ago."
I huffed as a servant placed several trays before us. She eyed me in a peculiar way and I ran my fingers through my hair, convinced it was an evaluation of my frazzled appearance.
"Eat," he commanded as he slid a tray toward me.
I probably should have been hungry but my stomach was too tense for food. He was watching me not eat so I started a conversation that I really didn't have the energy for. "Steed," I began slowly, "Anvil said that, before, I didn't like fairies."
He smiled, "That isn't uncommon on the mountain."
"Well, Ruby... she has to hide?"
"Oh, don't worry about Red. She's dealt with it the whole of her life." He could see that hadn't consoled me. "Freya, she had the choice to leave. She enjoys the mountain. And I've never caught sight of an elf she didn't properly handle for giving her too hard a time." He smiled to reassure me.
"But she couldn't ride into the castle with us," I protested.
He hesitated. "That is a different situation, Frey." His voice was low as he continued, "You see, we are attempting to keep up appearances here, to protect you." Ugh, there it was again. "It's no secret that once you would not have befriended one of her kind. It is simply easier this way."
"What would I have done to her before?" I whispered.
He laughed lightly. "I didn't know you then... but I have known some who did." I stared blankly as he considered whether to tell me.
When I could see he had decided not to, I stopped him from his planned distraction, stumbling in my hurry to get the words out. "Grey said someone, in the group, it was affecting someone besides Ruby."
I was relieved when I saw it had worked. He shook his head and then gave a little shrug as he explained. "Anvil was an acquaintance of mine years ago-"
"Anvil?" I interrupted, sure it had been Grey, something to do with his relationship with Ruby. Steed waited for me to listen.
"He has an impressively wide-reaching array of associates." He smiled at some private joke and then realized I was anxiously waiting for an explanation. "It seems he'd been punished for consorting with the fairies."
I stared at Steed, who didn't look as if he was planning on adding to the account, and then said plainly, "I don't get it."
He narrowed his eyes, unsure exactly how much to reveal. "Do you remember much of Anvil?" he asked.
"No," I answered automatically, but then corrected myself. "Well, actually, I remember him more than almost anyone." He watched me and I kept talking, clarifying further. "But I barely remember anything of anyone so it's not like that's a lot-"
He held up a hand to stop me, deciding to get it over with. "I'll give you the condensed version. Anvil had sought the fairies for a specific purpose but before he'd had a chance to explain, you reprimanded him, searing the tongue he'd criticized you with. Though, in your defense, I understand he was quite vulgar."
I was shaking my head, baffled, as I agreed with his story. "I think I remembered that," I said in a rush, "but I didn't know because there was also a hawk and Rune..." I drifted off at the thought of the large dark man but Steed recaptured
my attention before I'd gone too far.
He nodded, as if he'd suspected I'd known more than I let on, "There's that, too."
"What?" I gasped.
"Well, quite honestly, it was a little-believed tale that you'd influence over the hawk of your family's honor and in a fit of rage commanded it to attack him. Consequently, though a piece of his tongue was torn out in the process, he proclaimed his fealty to you, the moment he'd witnessed your power."
I blushed, remembering Steed had directly asked me about my ability... and I'd lied. It was plain that he understood my reaction so I blurted out the next question to deflect the unspoken accusation. "How did it happen twice?"
He laughed. "That's an interesting one. Apparently, the hawk had been headed at his face when he realized what was happening and opened his mouth in an expletive. In the confusion, it merely caught his tongue instead and tore a piece away. After you'd settled, he'd gone to the healer and had it stitched up as well as possible. Later, when you'd accepted his allegiance, you were so furious that he'd so blatantly disobeyed you by dealing with the fairies that you burnt the exact spot, simply to prove your point."
I felt my brows raise in astonishment. I thought of all the awful stories Ruby had told and was almost speaking to myself as I asked, "What was he doing with them?" And then I was ashamed that I'd sounded as if I actually did have an aversion to fairies.
But Steed hadn't seemed to notice as he answered, "Yes, I'd asked the same of him. Odd that someone so faithful would incite such wrath, but he was confident in what he'd done. He believes, still, that had he only the opportunity to explain first, you would have understood." I waited. "You see, Frey, it is said that the dust... what is it you'd called it, fairy's breath," he smiled, "it is said the fairy's breath has the ability to grant foresight to some."
I remembered Ruby mentioning foresight, but when I'd dreamt under the intense effects of the dust, I knew that wasn't what I'd seen. "He was trying to see the future?"
Frey Saga Book II: Pieces of Eight Page 10