by Stacey Lynn
Of course he did.
“Bennett—”
“Kiss me,” he whispered. “Then go to Miranda’s room. I’ll send her up in a few minutes once I talk to the others and plan it. Trust me, honey.”
“Okay.” I barely got the word out before his lips pressed against mine. His tongue pushed against my lips, opened me and he slid inside. His hand on my chin moved to the back of my head and he kissed away my concerns and my fears and all my nerves.
He infused me with confidence, with passion. It had nothing to do with sex, everything to do with the kind of man he was.
I slid my hands to his biceps and held on to him. I poured everything I felt into our kiss and when he pulled back, I was breathless.
“Bennett—”
“I know,” he replied, his voice hoarse and full of emotion. “I feel it, too. Swear it. Now go obey. I’ll be there soon.”
“Okay.”
“You say that a lot.”
“You make me forget the rest of my vocabulary.”
He laughed. Deep and beautiful and then he slammed his mouth to mine, kissed me until I wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor and pulled back.
He left the bathroom without looking back, but without a doubt, he’d do everything he just promised.
* * *
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
“Miranda.” I squeezed her hand next to me where we sat on her bed. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“You’ll be fine,” she assured me. “You’re just watching them.”
Seriously. How did I get myself into these messes?
A knock rapped on the door and at Miranda’s invitation, opened slowly. I expected Bennett, but it was Chloe whose head popped into the small opening. “Can I come in?”
“Of course,” Miranda said, waving her in.
“Thanks.” She walked in and closed the door. She’d stripped out of the jeans and boots and light blue sweater she’d been wearing earlier, and was now only wearing a thick, black robe. Barefooted, she walked toward us. “I was hoping we could talk for a little bit,” she said, looking at me. “We don’t know each other well at all, but Bennett sort of explained some things.”
Miranda stood and gestured to her spot on the bed. “By all means.” She ran her hand down my hair and smiled at me. “I’ll see you in the room, but trust Bennett. Trust us.”
My throat had gone too dry to speak, so I nodded. Once she left the room, Chloe gestured to the spot next to me on the bed. “May I?”
“Yes.” I cleared my throat. “Please.”
She took the spot next to me and wrapped her fingers around the knot at her waist. “Bennett gave us a brief rundown on your background, so I wanted to give you a quick one of mine.”
Her intentions were sweet. Exactly how I’d expected her to be, but I wasn’t sure anything she’d say could help. These were my own fears, and my own misgivings. Still, I waved her on. “Okay.”
“See, there’s a long history between Simon and me which I won’t get into, but in short, he used to date my sister. I sort of went after him last year, and asked him to train me.” My eyes popped. Holy crap! “Yes,” she giggled. “I know it sounds bad, but I’ll explain when we have more time. Anyway, he trained me and when our training time was done, he was supposed to hand me to another Dom.”
“Bennett.”
“Yeah.” She smiled, but held no interest for Bennett in her eyes. “I haven’t been in your shoes where you don’t understand this life. I think a part of me has always wanted it, but I know people close to me who have issues with it. I want to make sure that whatever happens here tonight, is something you’re okay with. Simon and I can be tame if you’d prefer—”
“Don’t.” God! What was I doing? “Please, be yourselves. I feel like I have to do this. For me, for Bennett.”
To truly move past all my hang-ups, I had to see this, even if I didn’t truly understand it. I wanted this experience with Bennett. I wanted to know what he saw at Luminous, what turned him on other than my body. I was suddenly desperate to know everything about him.
This life was part of it, even if he told me he didn’t need it, something had drawn him to Luminous. Something kept him returning.
“We won’t then, but if it becomes too much, I’ve been instructed to tell you to say ‘hockey’ and everything will stop, and if you decide to leave the room, I won’t be offended.”
“Hockey?”
She grinned and shrugged. “Don’t know, it was just a word Simon came up with.” She reached out and squeezed my hands that had somehow knotted themselves together in my lap. Her touch was cool but calming, unlike the blood thrumming in my veins. “Do you need a few minutes?”
“Yeah, can you send Bennett in?”
She stood from the bed. “He’s been waiting outside.”
“Thank you, Chloe. I really appreciate this.”
She opened the door to the bedroom and barely cleared the doorway before Bennett pushed inside and shut the door behind him. “You doing okay?” he asked, walking to me. He scooped me in his arms and settled me on his lap. “We can stop this, anytime.”
A part of me wanted to. The other part of me couldn’t.
I settled my head on his shoulder. “It’s all happening so fast.”
“It’s just watching. You get uncomfortable, we can leave. Remember? Go home, never mention it again.”
There was a tightness in his voice, something that told me he really wanted this. Not so much watching Simon and Chloe, but experiencing this part of his life with me. I wanted to be the kind of woman who gave him as much as he gave me.
“No. I want to do this, you know? I’ve always wondered, perhaps before I realized I was curious I still wondered about it.”
He stood from the bed and settled me at my feet. “Okay then, let’s do this.”
With his hand on my lower back, he led me out of the bedroom and down the hall to the opposite end where I knew Shawn and Miranda’s playroom was. After the first time I’d seen it, they’d always taken care and kept the door closed when I visited. While I appreciated their thoughtfulness, tonight I stepped over the threshold into the room trying to gather any courage I could find.
It was useless. My knees wobbled as I took in the room. A large X-shaped device in the corner, what looked like a massage table. Implements like floggers and crops and various sizes of canes hung on the wall. In a dresser, drawers were opened and on top, there were some nipple clamps and plugs laid out.
I skipped over that, ignoring the memory of last night when Bennett put clamps on my nipples. Mine hardened at the memory, though.
Clamped and bound by him, I’d been mindless. He’d driven me insane and proven that some of these things were completely pleasurable even with the pain.
Shawn and Miranda were sitting on a couch, glass of wine in her hand, another beer in his. He had his arm draped over her shoulder like they were settling in to watch a romantic comedy.
I froze in my spot. I was doing this, but there was no way I was relaxing like they did.
“You doing okay?” Bennett asked, whispering in my ear. Standing behind me, he wrapped his arms around my stomach and held me to him.
I nodded, unable to speak. In the very center of the room, Simon and Chloe were standing. He had his head dipped down, whispering in her ear. With her back to me, I couldn’t see her expression but based on her posture, she was completely comfortable. Simon lifted his gaze, met mine for a moment and then looked to Bennett.
Whatever silent approval Bennett gave made Simon nod.
“They play at Luminous occasionally,” Bennett said. “They’re used to this and in a few moments, she’ll totally forget we’re here. If there’s anything you want to see done, ask. I can guarantee you won’t suggest any
thing they haven’t done. Okay?”
“‘Kay.” God, I could barely speak.
I also couldn’t pull away from watching the two of them. My cheeks burned as Simon’s hands went to the front of Chloe’s robe. He pushed it off her shoulders and it fell to the floor.
Bennett stayed behind me, his hands at my stomach, holding me still, and whispering explanations as to everything I was seeing.
I couldn’t remove my eyes from the couple in the middle, the obvious passion and respect Simon had for Chloe, or the undeniable connection they had as she dropped to her knees in front of him. Completely naked, she was entirely unashamed we were watching her. Her body flushed, but she moved confidently as Simon walked in a circle around her, whispering words I couldn’t hear, but ones she’d respond to.
She slowly rose to her feet and Simon guided her to a bench that sat next to the cross.
I stiffened when she knelt in front of it and then bent over it.
“It’s a spanking bench. He’ll bind her with the cuffs,” Bennett said, low in my ear. “He’ll flog her after. Chloe likes it rough, so you’re prepared, but tonight I believe they’ll go easier. Consider this like the demonstration you saw at Luminous.”
“It’s nothing like the night at Luminous,” I whispered. It wasn’t. Nothing was the same.
In this bedroom, large enough to hold all of this gear, the room had grown hot. My own cheeks flushed in a way that burned to my chest straight to my toes harsher than what I’d seen weeks ago.
This was so, so entirely different, but just like that night, I couldn’t look away.
The way they moved was beautiful, like a dance. More erotic than perfunctory and now I knew the difference.
We continued whispering. I didn’t want to disturb them, but I also didn’t want to miss anything.
My God, this was beautiful.
“Why is it different?” Bennett asked. Slowly, his hands began moving. Across my stomach, up the sides of my ribs and down to my hips. His erection pressed against my backside, and my goodness, it was glorious.
“New Year’s Eve compared to this was cold and clinical. You respected that woman—”
“Kaila.”
“You respected Kaila. But Simon doesn’t respect Chloe, he treasures her.”
“Yes,” he whispered. His voice had gone gruff. His fingertips dug into my sweater, searing heat to my core.
Simon had cuffed Chloe to the bench and went to the wall. He never looked at us. He didn’t look at Miranda or Shawn. His entire focus was on Chloe even while he chose something with dozens of strips hanging from a handle.
A flogger. Miranda had explained.
So did Bennett. “It’s a flogger, thin leather strands. They’ll make a sharp sound. They’ll turn her skin red, but it won’t cut through. Simon’s careful with her, I promise you.”
I must have tensed in his hold because his movements of his hands became softer, more calming. I couldn’t respond.
I was too lost in Simon. He was strong yet graceful. He was going to whip her and I was going to watch.
And my panties were soaking wet, my nipples tightened points, aching against my bra.
As Simon stepped behind Chloe, I braced myself for the first swing of his arm and Bennett held me against him. “I can smell you, sub,” he whispered in my ear. “You’re turned on and they’ve barely begun. Can I touch you?”
He couldn’t. I’d come. But God, I wanted it.
I shivered and glued my focus on Simon as he swung his arm. The whip of the flogger through the air made a hissing sound and then a snap as it landed against Chloe’s backside.
“One, sir,” she counted. And my goodness, her cheeks were flushed. She was facing us, but she wasn’t seeing us. Nothing except rapture bloomed on her expression. “Thank you, sir.”
“Bennett,” I whimpered. I pressed against him, my ass against his hips. “I can’t—”
“You want them to stop?”
“No. I shouldn’t like this. Why do I like this?”
“Because they love each other and trust each other on a level most don’t understand.” I jumped at another two quick hissing sounds of the flogger, but I was barely seeing them. My vision went hazy with lust and every word Bennett spoke spiked my need for him. “Because this is beautiful. It’s trust and honor at its most base level.”
“God,” I moaned.
His hands went to my jeans and he flicked the button. “Let me touch you. No one here will notice or care.”
I couldn’t even force myself to look at Miranda or Shawn. I couldn’t pull my eyes off Simon. He’d removed his glasses at some point, and his light brown hair fell over his forehead, but nothing could tear my gaze away from the flogger in his hand, the red marks now covering Chloe’s ass, the way she arched into each smack, or her blissed-out expression.
I shivered again and moaned. “Please, Bennett. Sir. Touch me.”
He moved quickly but quietly, shuffling us backward until he hit the wall and then slid his hands down my pants.
My god, I was going to get off watching a woman get beaten and I wasn’t the least bit disgusted. I continued watching, focused on Simon when he knelt next to Chloe and pushed hair off her cheeks, tucking it behind her ear. He spoke to her in quiet murmurs and her expression blossomed into one of unmitigated happiness. She tugged against her bindings...he moved.
Bennett’s hand slid down my pants to my center and he groaned in my ear. “You’re fucking drenched.”
“Please,” I mewled, pressing into his finger at my clit. “Touch me please.”
“You fucking love this.”
“I shouldn’t.”
“You should enjoy anything you want as long as it’s consensual.”
Damn it. He always made it seem so simple.
Simon and Chloe continued playing. The clink of the handcuffs, the hiss of the flogger. Coupled with Bennett’s finger at my clit, I lost all inhibitions.
I’d gone from someone thinking this abuse to someone who not only enjoyed it, but couldn’t imagine my life without it.
Bennett had taught me to drop my perceptions, to explore, to come to my own conclusions.
And as I climaxed, splintering quietly and digging my nails into Bennett’s forearms and bucking wildly against him, I lost focus on everyone in the room except the man at my back.
He wanted me at his side and at his knees. And I wanted him, for as long as I could possibly have him.
“Glorious,” he whispered in my ear. “So fucking beautiful. I will never get enough of you. But I also want you to myself.”
“Please,” I whispered. “Get me out of here.”
He laughed huskily and quietly. Moving us backward, he opened the door and closed it behind us.
“Will they—” I started to ask, but Bennett stopped me by tugging me down the stairs. At the bottom, our coats and shoes and my purse were already laid out.
“They won’t even notice until they’re done playing, I guarantee it.”
“But—”
He kissed me quiet. “I also told them I’d take you out of there. I wanted you to see it, not all of it, and soon the four of them will spend hours together. I want you to myself.” He cupped my cheeks. “I want you to myself, for a very long time, Rebecca.”
Oh God. I searched his gaze and saw everything. Every emotion he saw on my face earlier, reflected at me on his.
And that was when I knew.
I wasn’t falling in love with him.
I already was in love with him.
“Okay Bennett,” I said, letting him help me into my coat. “Take me home, then.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Rebecca
Two months later
I awoke to the whirl of the
heat kicking on, the cocoon of Bennett’s bedding surrounding me tightly and the hint of his scent nearby, but even before I opened my eyes I knew he wasn’t lying next to me. Mostly because when he was lying next to me, I wasn’t cocooned in bedding, but in his thick biceps and fingertips on my stomach as he held my back to his chest.
It’d been three months since Bennett and I began sleeping together. We ended most nights in his bed. It’d been over a week since I even stepped foot inside my house unless it was to grab a new change of clothes or a book. Slowly, all my things were making their way to Bennett’s condo and he didn’t seem to care one little bit.
I hated being away from him, especially at night. He’d been right, all those months ago. I’d never had someone look out for me or keep me safe. I hadn’t even realized how much I hated going to bed in an empty house, making sure all the doors and windows were locked, until I had someone else doing all that protecting for me. And in addition to the safety and protection he gave, it was always better sleeping next to Bennett than it was alone.
Our lovemaking ended with one of us rolling to our back, the other—usually me—rolling to our side, and then it was lights out.
Bennett was different in every single way, which shouldn’t have surprised me, yet I was hoping I had a lifetime of Bennett Ashby consistently surprising me.
With him in mind, I tossed off his plush, cream duvet and swung my feet to the floor. I snagged his navy shirt he’d worn last night and shrugged it on, buttoning it in between my breasts as I made my way to the bathroom.
After cleaning up, grabbing my toothbrush and washing my face, I pulled my hair back to a ponytail and went searching for him.
It was quiet outside his room, so I continued past the living space, headed to the kitchen where the scent of caramel-flavored nirvana assaulted me.
I stopped, poured coffee into a mug I assumed he’d left on the countertop for me and put the creamer he’d left out back in the fridge.
Clang!
I jumped at the noise that, while muffled, came from his workout room.
I’d been with Bennett long enough to know the man worked out at least five times a week.