Tempting Marcus (Mercenary Heat Book 1)

by Jan Graham

  “I want to stay in Australia. I’m getting too old to travel the world. I want to be near my daughter, we both know my son’s a lost cause, but she’s a good girl, feisty at that. She’s alone, she needs family, and I’d like to be the father I never was. That’s if she lets me. Things are currently a bit tenuous, but I’m sure we’ll work it out. So, I stay here, or she comes with me. Your decision, Marcus.”

  “Fine, stay here, and we’ll re-evaluate the situation in a month or two,” Marcus replied.

  Everyone deserved a family. Marcus accepted that, and Adrian was aging. Although the bastard probably wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of dying soon—Adrian was a bulldog, he had his teeth in this new life of his and appeared determined not to let it go.

  “That reply was far too amicable.” Adrian eyed him warily before breaking into a knowing smile. “You didn’t come here to organize my departure from the country, did you? You came to talk about Beth.”

  Marcus hated when Adrian did that—read him like a book—his friend was worldly wise and astute. Nothing slipped by him. No wonder he’d been the country’s leading head of crime for so long.

  “I want her to take a step back from missions, just do the safe stuff. I can’t have her in danger, Adrian. I won’t allow it. She doesn’t seem to understand the logic of why I’m asking her to do that. In fact, she asked me last night in bed what I was going to give up for her. I mean…” Marcus scoffed rather than finishing the sentence. He wanted to be indignant about the request, instead, it troubled him. “I like my life, I don’t want to give up anything, in fact, I want to add to it. Add her as my woman. Why is it so hard to do that?”

  “I do believe after our years together, you’re beginning to look upon me as a father figure Marcus. Coming to me for advice like this, I’m chuffed.” Adrian appeared delighted by the situation as he puffed on his cigarette.

  “I do believe you’re turning into an old man full of fanciful shit, Adrian. Now just answer the damn question.”

  “You want her in your life but not as she is.” Marcus raised a questioning brow at him. “You helped create this woman you love. A woman absorbed in your world who understands the work, accepts everything about it and you. Her request or question is legit. If she must change for you then what part of yourself are you going to change or lose to be with her? It’s female tit-for-tat. Don’t you know anything about women?”

  Marcus thought he did until now.

  “It’s not about changing her, I love her the way she is. It is, however, about keeping her safe,” Marcus snapped as he reached over to grab one of Adrian’s cigarettes before disregarding the idea and returning the tobacco tube to the pack.

  “Bullshit,” Adrian spat the word, “it’s all about fear. We’ve had this discussion before, son. To quote whatever famous fuck said this before me, embrace the fear, and do it anyway. She’s safe Marcus, she’s with you, with the rest of your macho fucking crew of men. The women on your team, including Beth, are probably the most protected women in the country. Get over this shit, boy.”

  Adrian stood and began to pace. Marcus had seen the man’s ire in the early days of knowing each other but over the preceding years, Adrian seemed to mellow, becoming a wise Buddha-like figure inhabiting the fringe of Marcus’ life.

  “What’s up, old man? You haven’t given me a lecture like that for years.”

  He observed as Adrian continued to pace. They’d joked about a father-son relationship earlier, but in some ways, it was true. In fact, with Adrian now in his sixties and Marcus sitting in his forties, they fitted the profile. Which was why when Adrian used the term son, or the angrier boy, Marcus didn’t mind. Adrian returned to his seat, obviously having walked off the frustration he displayed.

  “I don’t want you to turn out like me, Marcus,” Adrian exhaled a heavy sigh, the sound tinged with a sadness he’d not heard from the man before. “It’s only occurred to me after Ebony arrived here, men like us need love and adoration in our lives. In its absence, we become empty shells of the great men we could have been. You have both with Beth. Don’t let it go.”

  As usual, Marcus gleaned the truth of his situation from Adrian. Older and wiser rang true in nearly every conversation they shared. They’d lived on different sides of the fence, criminal in Adrian’s case, fighter of crime in his, but the result of who they’d both become was the same. For Marcus, it was like looking in a mirror and seeing a reflection of his older self. The image staring back at him was that of a man who’d changed his ways too late, only to find himself alone and isolated by the actions of his past, knowing there was no one to blame but himself. Marcus didn’t like what he saw and refused to become that older version of himself.

  “I could say the same thing to you about Ebony, Adrian. It appears to me that fate, or whatever you like to call it, has given you a second chance,” Marcus stated solemnly. “Don’t blow it, Dad.”

  Adrian scoffed, a sad chuckle following quickly on its tail. His thoughtful gaze moved to Marcus, and he smiled.

  “After all I’ve done, admiration’s probably out of the question,” Adrian stated considerately. “But you’re right, she might grow to love me in the way daughters do with their fathers… given time.”

  * * * *

  So far Beth hadn’t received a satisfactory answer from Marcus. It was more like a non-answer— “let me think about it” —followed by distraction tactics of more mind-blowing sex. If she’d had the emotional energy, she would have called him on it, but after everything that took place in the last few days, she didn’t want to argue. Her mind and body needed a recharge, and the sex provided exactly that. Two days down the road, with more orgasms under her belt than she could count and two nights of restful sleep in Marcus’ comfy bed, Beth was raring to go.

  Yesterday, Marcus kept her occupied, sex, work, sex, and sleep. Not a bad combination of activities. He’d also given her time alone and space to think when he disappeared for part of yesterday. After their late-night chat on the first night, Beth hadn’t pushed him for a firmer answer. She’d allowed herself to enjoy his company and body, knowing to do battle with him over his decision for her to take a backseat role on assignments, she required intel.

  She walked into The Dungeon under the pretense of saying goodbye to everyone, clearing out her locker, and thanking Zane for his help while she’d been undercover. They were just excuses. Her real intent, information gathering. Arriving without Ash stalking her ass reinforced the fact she’d made it through the assignment without any severe damage. The swelling around her eye had gone and the remaining bruises, now lessened to a light discoloration, covered easily with makeup.

  “Hey, look who’s here,” Zane grinned at her from behind his desk.

  “Have you got a minute?” Beth stood in the doorway, a bag of gear from her cleared-out locker in her hand.

  “If it gets me out of reworking these rosters, then I have all day. Come on in and distract me.” He probably wouldn’t be so happy with the distraction once he knew what she wanted.

  They engaged in light chitchat for a while before Beth finally got down to business. If Marcus wouldn’t open up to her about what happened all those years ago, she’d find out herself. If he loved Suzanna enough that years later her death still impacted on his life, and now hers, did he have the capacity to love Beth the way she needed him to? If she could just understand more about the situation, then she might be able to help him move on… with her.

  “I was talking to Steve Jax a while ago, and he suggested I talk to you or Ash about something that’s been worrying me.”

  “Sure sweetness, what’s up?” Zane sat forward in his chair, resting his arms on the desk, giving her his full attention.

  “I need to know what happened with Marcus and Suzanna. Steve said you and Ash were with him at that time.” Beth didn’t like his response, which started halfway through her sentence.

  Zane dropped his gaze to the desk the moment she mentioned Suzanna and began shaki
ng his head. The silence stretched between them, and Beth wondered if he’d ever speak again.

  “Why do you want to know and why not ask Marcus?” he finally asked.

  Why indeed? He’d told her the basics of what happened, but whenever she broached the subject, tried to convince him she wasn’t going to end up like his wife, that the situations were different, his expression iced over. She could feel the emotional chill permeating outward. Even if she specifically asked him to talk to her, she knew the answer would be a big fat no.

  “Marcus won’t get into it with me, but it’s affecting us, so I need to know.”

  Zane sat back in his chair, his gaze meeting hers. He seemed perplexed, almost frustrated as he dragged his fingers through his hair. She sat still, letting him size her up, probably trying to ascertain exactly what her motives were. Even though Zane no longer worked for Marcus, they had a history. There was respect between the two men, but not a lot of love. That was the reason she’d chosen to speak to Zane rather than his twin. Hopefully, devout loyalty to Marcus wouldn’t prevent him from giving her what she wanted.

  “Need or want? There’s a difference,” Zane asked, after some careful consideration.

  “Both I guess,” Beth replied quickly. “I tell him I’m not Suzanna, I’m trained well enough to look out for myself, that he doesn’t need to worry, but he keeps holding back on me.”

  Zane laughed as he stood up, shaking his head once again as he walked over to close the office door. She prayed it was a sign he was about to divulge the information she needed… wanted… whatever he believed the situation to be.

  “You’re putting me in a really precarious position here, Beth. If Marcus gets wind of this…”

  Returning to his chair, Zane eyed her cautiously. Beth suddenly realized she was holding her breath. Now that he was about to talk to her, did she really need to know? Would it ultimately make a difference to how she felt about Marcus? Would he see going behind his back for information as some sort of betrayal if he ever found out?

  “It’s obvious you love him, and it’s evident he feels the same about you even if he doesn’t admit it. The first time I saw the two of you together, I could see a difference in the way he related to you, the way he looked at you despite trying to play it cool and professional. So, before I answer your question, I want to know two things. Do you love the man he is now and what difference will it make if I tell you what he was like before you were born?”

  Beth sat silently staring at Zane as she digested what he was asking. The cell sitting on his desk beeped an alert, and he glanced at it momentarily before returning his attention to her.

  “Of course, I love the man he is, we wouldn’t be having this conversation if I didn’t. As for if it will make a difference to know then yes, it will. I’ll be able to understand him better, to help him get over what happened, to know he still has the capacity to love me.”

  Zane gave a contemplative nod. Was he going to tell her or not? Sometimes she wanted to shake the men surrounding her. Every response they gave tended to be thoughtful and considered. She figured it stemmed from years of leading lives where, in most situations, one wrong word could get them killed.

  “You don’t need to know the details of his past to understand the man he is now, Beth.” She exhaled her disappointment, the one man who could give her answers was going to play mom. “As for helping him deal with the past, he already has, and you’re living with the result of that. He lost his wife under violent circumstances, and he’s dealt with that by becoming a man who protects everyone he cares for, who believes he can control all variables in life, who chose not to love for many years, and now that love has grabbed him by the balls once again, he’s finding it hard to deal. Are you getting the point here, or is this just falling on deaf ears?”

  No, she heard every unlikable word he said. She should have realized with Zane, or any man for that matter, if you weren’t prepared for the answer they might give, then don’t ask the question. No, the details wouldn’t change who or what Marcus was now. The man she’d fallen for. Head over frigging heels.

  “I hear you.” Beth slouched in the chair. “I don’t like it, but I agree. I think I’m just clutching at straws because I want what I want and that’s Marcus.”

  Men regarded love so differently from women, their alien opinions and rationalizations left her floundering sometimes. She had a greater understanding of guys than most women being surrounded by a dozen of them at any given time, Marcus included. Zane and Ash were different from the men she was friendly with though, they’d found love with a feisty woman and proved the Marcus rule wrong. Being a mercenary in love could work. Beth had news for Marcus. He was going to join that list of men in love if she had anything to do with it.

  “Good, glad to help,” Zane smiled cheekily. “And if anyone is going to get Marcus to admit he loves them it’s a tenacious woman like you. Now, go up to private room three, he wants to see you.”

  “What?” How did he even know she’d decided to come here this morning, oh wait she mentioned it yesterday—but the timing? Maybe Ash was still stalking her.

  “He sent me a text while we were talking, now get going. I’d hate the Grand Poohbah to accuse me of disobeying a command.”

  Zane’s laughter echoed in her ears as she strolled out of the room, leaving her belongings in his office to collect later.

  She didn’t rush to go to Marcus, instead, taking her time and digesting Zane’s words. She’d fallen in love with a man who wasn’t easy to be with. He was tough, hardened by life, not just by the death of a woman he loved but by all of his life—the death, the victories, the defeats. She wasn’t asking about the rest of his life, just one woman, albeit a significant one. How would her interactions change with him if she knew the details? Beth liked to think they wouldn’t, but to a certain extent, she remained tender-hearted. She’d lost some of her compassion over the years but not all. Marcus wasn’t the sort of man to appreciate someone looking at him with empathetic eyes. She’d do that, wouldn’t be able to help it, knowing the pain he’d lived through. Marcus would abhor that reaction. He prided himself on keeping his composure, being in control, having the upper hand. He didn’t ask for pity or sympathy, his life was what it was, accept it or not.

  As she headed up the stairs, she had an epiphany. She didn’t want to change Marcus, just as she wouldn’t like him trying to change her. So, acceptance it was. She loved Marcus for who he was now, the good, the sexy, and the infuriating.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Marcus waited in the private room for Beth to arrive. After talking with Adrian, he’d decided on a plan. Show Beth more of himself, open up to her as best he could and hopefully, the more he revealed, the easier expressing his emotions to her would become.

  The last time they’d been in this room together, everything went horribly wrong. He’d messed up, leaving Beth angry with him and uncertain about their future. He intended for this time to be different. His morning was a productive one, after talking with Adrian yesterday, and visiting with Kat Maclean today, Marcus came to a monumental conclusion.

  He’d made a terrible mistake. One that he needed to rectify if there was any chance of having a worthwhile relationship with Beth. It wouldn’t be easy, but he had to do it. A soft knock sounded on the door. He drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he strode forward to let Beth inside. He planned to let her into more than just this play space. If everything went as he hoped, he’d walk out of this room with Beth, having taken the first step in let her fully into his life, his heart, and his soul.

  “You took your time,” he smiled broadly at her in greeting, praying he didn’t look like a psychopath. Smiling was something else he’d have to adjust to doing because Beth made him happy, and he should show that on the outside. She turned him inside out, and with what he planned to discuss, then do to her here, his nerves were rioting.

  “Despite what you believe, time doesn’t revolve around you, daddy. I needed to
finish up with Zane,” her tone was light and breezy, and she’d called him daddy, a term she always used when she toyed with him in that tempting way of hers.

  “It occurred to me while I was driving back from the Highlands yesterday, I owe you a spanking for all the times you’ve been a cheeky brat to me. Probably more than one, in fact.” He closed the door behind her, locking them in the room specifically designed for BDSM scenes. They could have used his Dungeon at home, but he’d decided neutral territory would be a better place for this session with her. After all, he wanted to redeem himself from the last stuff-up that occurred here.

  “I agree, you probably owe me more than one spanking, but why here? You could spank me anywhere. The office, the meeting room, the bedroom, over the dining table, in that room you always keep locked upstairs at your place,” she gave him a cheeky grin. Had she somehow accessed his private dungeon or was she merely guessing? “I mean the last time we met here didn’t end well.”

  No, it hadn’t. Beth plonked herself down on the spanking bench, crossing her long legs, easing back to support herself with her arms. Her breasts lifted toward him, pushing against the fabric of her tightly fitted top, the outline of beaded nipples forcing their way into the fabric. She was such a naughty temptress when she intended to be. It was one of the many attributes he adored about her. His cock hardened beneath his jeans as he stared down at her, perusing her delectable body. Marcus folded his arms across his chest as he widened his stance, his hips jutting forward ever so slightly. If Beth could display what was on offer to him, so could he. Her gaze flicked to his groin, and she smiled wickedly.

  “I chose here because it’s neutral territory, and we need to chat before we get started,” he stated as calmly as he could, given the arousal coursing through his veins.

  A quizzical expression flashed across Beth’s features, and she sat upright, indicating her attentiveness to what he was about to say.