With Carson, she was starting to believe she could be persuaded to take a taste test, and this was precisely what was so troubling. She was sexually attracted to Carson in a way she’d never been to anyone else. Ever.
She had no idea why or what sparked the change. Perhaps because he was drop-dead gorgeous with a strong exterior, but clearly not indifferent to feelings on the inside?
Which is a hundred percent different from the man I’m still married to.
Carson was a real man, and all man at that, physically fit with broad, thick muscles. He was confident with a touch of arrogance, yet kind at the same time. His eyes were like a dark pool with moonlight shining down through them, and so compelling it was hard to pull your gaze away. She itched to touch his tanned skin and explore that mysterious tattoo she’d only seen glimpses of. And his hair, oh how she wanted to thread her fingers through those dark waves. Carson was an attractive package, and she liked it all a little too much.
He would be her flavor of choice if she could pick one, and she wanted a nice, long lick.
Sienna knew it was really her mind playing tricks on her. Forbidden fruit was only desirable because you couldn’t have it. Carson was intriguing because he was so different from any of the boys she knew while growing up. Those boys were slight, bony, messy, unkempt, and boring. There were definitely no tattoos to be found anywhere on their bodies; it simply wasn’t allowed.
She gave up on makeup for the moment and moved to her soft purple velour chaise. She didn’t know why it had to match the rest of the club. No one ever came back to her room other than the girls or Asher, but it did. She reclined on the sumptuous fabric, smoothing her hands down its plush sides, letting her head fall back, and sighing deeply. She had no idea what was happening to her mind. She resigned herself to the fact she couldn’t stop herself. Her heart was on its own path, just like her fingers trailing up and down the sofa, making their way back and forth, skimming the edges of her thighs, leaving soft touches here and there, perhaps even reminders of what she really wanted.
God, was she one of those women who chased after bad boys? No, she was just lonely. If she really thought about it, she’d been lonely her entire life. Growing up with an austere, devout father concerned with impressing the neighbors, a mother who made her father’s happiness her main role, and three brothers who had paid no attention to her since she was a girl, she hadn’t felt much affection.
Then there was the man she was arranged to marry. No love and affection lost there. Her husband was the type of man her parents wanted for her—a religious man from a wealthy family with good standing in the community who would provide her with the best. She was expected to make a life and babies with him. Her parents demanded nothing less.
On paper, Elon Finder had been the perfect match for Lila Dasher. He was well-learned and devout like her father, and came from a much wealthier family, one that would help elevate her parents’ status. Unfortunately he was one of five sons, and desperately wanted to be the center of attention.
Marrying Lila was one way to get that attention, for procuring a wife enabled him to secure the reins of the family business. Lila was pretty back then, took care of herself, and was considered a good catch in their community. Yet Elon acted like he’d won a prize at a carnival when he brought Lila around his family.
He didn’t seem to realize that she wasn’t actually a stuffed animal, and it hurt when he threw her around. The pushing and shoving left marks. There was a reason she was dry and never ready, making sex hurt. Pain didn’t turn her on, neither did verbal slights. In this respect, they definitely weren’t a perfect match.
But that life was behind her now. Lila was Sienna, and she needed to stay true to character, which meant not getting involved. Being Sienna meant she was safe. Underneath it all she was lonely, but that was a small price to pay for living a long life.
She didn’t have to be lonely, though. Why not explore the character of Sienna a little deeper with Carson? Sexy Sienna gets some…it made her giggle to herself just thinking about it.
Carson wouldn’t be around forever. He had a job to do and a case to solve. There were probably dozens of other cases waiting for him, and he didn’t live out west. He was a prime candidate for testing the waters. For all she knew, he could be married back home, despite what he’d said. A lot of men ditched their wedding bands when they came to Vegas; everyone knew that.
Being with Carson would soothe her growing isolation, and becoming more social would get Asher and Mike off her back. Plus, she might learn a thing or two. It was a smart move to test the waters with someone who wasn’t local, a man she would never see again when it was over.
She stood up from the chaise and went to the full-length mirror framed in lights. She stared at her reflection for a very long time, marking the differences from years ago, noticing her pulse quicken in her neck with her most recent thoughts of Carson, and wondering what was going to become of her. Examining her full lips, natural breasts, and slim yet shapely hips, she tried to instill some type of resolve to stop what was happening because it was dangerous. Extremely.
Get real, girl…he’s ex-FBI. The man works on big, important cases, and is only interested in my girl parts. Sienna told herself she was safe; there were no worries concerning him and her past.
With that thought in mind, Sienna found a fresh fortitude to make a move for herself, go after the man, and started to get ready to wow the crowd so she could get back to the main task at hand. As she was doing her makeup for the millionth time that evening, perfecting her cat eyes with sultry black glitter, adding a touch of sparkle to her high cheekbones, and dusting her chest and shoulders with even more shine, she silently wished one of the girls would pop back and tell her what the floor was like.
And that Carson was out there.
Flipping through her outfits, Sienna realized she sort of wished she was dressing for Carson. Geez, stop it; you told him not to come tonight. After choosing a silver bustier and matching thong with a few crystals on the front, Sienna was contemplating red or pink patent stacked platform Mary Janes when Sydney knocked softly and then just barged into the dressing room.
“Hey, Sie, we have a huge bachelor party tonight. Petal is bringing down the house, reeling in the big bucks on the floor, and she asked me to go on with her again later tonight before your second act.” Sydney bounced around the dressing room as she delivered her report, and squealed, “Sweet!” as she picked up one of Sienna’s costumes to admire it.
“Sounds great,” Sienna told her as she finished applying her makeup. “You two were awesome last night. A big hit!”
“I know, right?” Sydney gave her a huge smile. “It was so much fun. There’s always such an energy in the room before Sienna Flower takes the stage. Oh, by the way, seated right next to the bachelor party is a Sienna stalker. Keeps asking when you’re going on.”
This caught her full attention, and she paused brushing on eye shadow to look at Sydney directly. “What did you say, sweetie?”
I thought I asked Carson not to show up tonight.
“Some dude, kinda tall, not real wide, blond crew cut, jeans, and a cowboy hat. He keeps ordering another beer and asking for you.”
“Oh, I don’t know who he is.” Relief mixed with disappointment as Sienna asked, “Did you tell Ash?”
“Of course I told Mike and Asher. They’re on it. Keeping an eye. They sent Laurel over to give him a dance, keep him occupied. Anyway, I’m out of here. Just wanted to give you a heads-up. I got a big party to work!”
Sienna set down her eye shadow brush after Sydney left, wondering at the vulnerability she found herself feeling. She’d never felt disappointment over a fan not being there, but Carson wasn’t just any admirer. At the rate she was going, before long she’d be wearing her feelings on her sleeve. She had almost jumped for joy when Sydney mentioned someone asking for her, thinking it was Carson, then felt the sting of tears when she realized it wasn’t him. Even though she’d told
him it would be better for him not to come, did she wish that he would show up anyway?
She sighed and grabbed a tube of her lotion, then began carefully applying it to her skin.
Who was this new guy asking for her? No one ever really did that; they knew she would be onstage soon enough. She should be more concerned over the stranger in the hat than mooning over Carson, and decided that after her dance, she would make it a point to get a better look at the dude in the cowboy hat.
The whole scenario made her shiver. It was just a bit too weird, strange, and out of the ordinary. Customers wearing cowboy hats weren’t an everyday occurrence in the Tunnel, and the guy’s going out of his way to ask for her made her wonder if her past was catching up with her.
For the first time in years, Sienna thought about the possibility of Elon sending someone to look for Lila. Elon. Just thinking his name in her head gave her goose bumps. She was never going back to him, even if she had to cross the border to Mexico.
No way. It wasn’t possible, Sienna told herself. Elon would never think to look for her in a strip club. It was a world not even remotely on his radar. The new life in which Sienna existed was so distinctly different than the one they shared back in New York.
The stage was her security blanket, the only place where she checked her past memories at the door.
When she was ready, Sienna alerted the crew to black out the whole stage so she could climb the pole and be ready to surprise the crowd when the lights went on. As the R&B beat started to build through the speakers, she clung to the pole, waiting to be revealed to her fans. In the dark, she could barely make out the silhouette of the cowboy. Laurel was sitting with him, fawning over him seductively. Good. Maybe she was just the right distraction. Doubtful, but maybe.
Sienna didn’t need any more men sniffing around her personal life. She needed to get back to being alone, but first she had to get Carson out of her system. She deserved one little bite of sweetness.
She had enough to worry about with Carson, the upcoming lunch date, and staying alive. Her cowboy was going to have to find a new interest.
Ten, nine, eight… Sienna quietly counted while entering her zone.
The lights came up, and what seemed like a thousand twinkly spotlights shined on Sienna hanging from a pole, thanks to a mirrored ceiling and twenty-five strategically placed light bulbs. Everything at the Tunnel was make-believe, but it felt unbelievably real. Not only the decor, but Sienna herself was a large part of the illusion.
The vibe was smooth and subtle tonight as her bustier clung to her cleavage, revealing the natural round curve of the top of Sienna’s breasts, hinting at more. With one leg stretched up the pole, the other facing the other direction and twisted around it, Sienna looked out into the crowd with her pools of mysterious blue from her split on the pole. She teased their senses, luring them into her world where anything was possible.
The customers might catch a glimpse of her nipple and think they know her intimately, but they would never really know her. The true her. Her looks and her moves might captivate, entice, and scintillate, but she held everyone at bay, never fully letting them in deep. That was the tease, the hook that kept everyone—men and women alike—coming back for a better glimpse of nipple, vagina, or just about anything Sienna.
The slower rhythm and blues vibe blended into a hard-core rap, so Sienna picked up her pace, working the front of the stage, running her hands through her hair, squatting down low, her legs bent and spread to the side, giving the men yet another peek. She was feeling the pulse of the music, the collective heartbeat of the club, the expectant air that always settled on the room when she danced, but she was missing her dark and mysterious pair of eyes.
She was so caught up in missing Carson, she was oblivious to the man who stood up and swiftly moved toward the stage.
It was only when Sienna turned to head back to a rope dangling from the ceiling—she was going to climb it and twist herself in it for the finale—when a ruckus broke out behind her. She willed herself to ignore it and grabbed the rope, but when she spun around, there was Petey and Mike escorting the man in the cowboy hat out of the club.
In the middle of her act, Sienna knew she couldn’t break her concentration. She finished her dance. Sweat beaded on her chest as she hooked her ankle in a loop on the rope and climbed up, the rope squeezing her cleavage and forcing her calf muscles to contract while she gripped it. She knew the audience was hypnotized by this athletic and raw, sexual side of her, and that the sight of her butt, round and completely revealed, heightened the whole experience. Her thong, which only covered the most sacred of private areas, kept the crowd’s gaze focused on one person. They had no clue what was happening with the cowboy because there wasn’t an eye in the house not focused on Sienna.
Finally, the song came to an end. Sienna dangled from the rope by one arm and one leg, throwing her standard kisses into the crowd, but she couldn’t wait to get the hell off the stage.
As soon as Sienna walked backstage, Asher was waiting for her. He paced back and forth like a lion waiting to pounce on its prey. He watched her walk toward him with rage in his eyes, although she knew it was not directed toward her.
“Shit, Sie. Shit, babe. I’m so sorry. I know Sydney pegged that guy as being strange, but I didn’t expect him to rush the stage. Scared the fucking crap out of me. Fuck!” He yelled the last few words and slammed his open palm into the wall.
“It’s okay, Ash. Shh. You guys were right on it.” Sienna placed a comforting hand on his arm, willing him to calm down even though her own nerves were equally shot. She knew if she let him know how rattled she was, he would clamp down on her with extra security. Despite all that just went down, Sienna couldn’t stop thinking about her date with Carson the next day. If Asher started amping up security, he’d know about the date, and she wanted to keep that part of her life to herself for the moment.
“Sienna, if something happened to you, I’d never forgive myself. You’re family. Nobody’s going to hurt you on my watch.”
“I know, sweetie, I know. I’m good. No worse for the wear.” Sienna stood up straight, threw her shoulders back, and flung her hair behind her back.
“Do you want to skip your second dance? I get it if you do, doll.” Asher moved away from the wall he’d just pounded, shifted close, and ran a soothing hand down her arm, stopping to grasp her hand tightly as if he never wanted to let it go.
“No, I need to dance. You know better than anyone, dancing is when I feel free, liberated.” She squeezed his hand, leaned closer on her high heels, and kissed his forehead. She lingered a few extra moments, her steady breath hovering over his face, telling him what he wanted to hear with her actions.
He trained his entire focus on her face, scrutinizing her sincerity, and bought it. “All right. I’m going to sit up front for your next act. Go unwind and take a rest before you go back out.”
Sienna gave Asher another peck, this time on the cheek, spun on her heel, and returned to her dressing room. She locked the door behind her and slid down the smooth wood to the floor. Convincing Asher she was okay had stripped her of whatever strength remained inside her body.
The club had been her refuge, her little nest of safety for the longest time, but the guy in the damn cowboy hat and his specific questioning had her on edge. Not to mention his storming the stage and Asher’s resulting rage.
She made herself a cup of tea to calm her nerves and changed her outfit. She wouldn’t let them see her rattled. Fear is going to get the best of me, she thought as she picked out a red cat suit and gold boots. It was a dominant choice. The red combined with the gutsy zipper down the skintight bodysuit made a statement. She wasn’t to be messed with. Not now, not ever.
I’m not broken. I’m strong.
The rest of the night went without incident. Sienna danced. She lowered the zipper, gave the crowd a hint of everything good inside, and then let them go home to make their fantasies come alive. The man was gone, but sh
e noticed Asher had stationed himself out front, with Mike and Petey flanking the stage, and other security personnel visible around the room.
With only a little sliver of fear running through her, Sienna settled back to being herself, or the self she thought she should be as a stripper.
Happy with making others’ dreams come alive, Sienna went home later to her carriage house. She went through her relaxation routine, lit a candle, took a bath, and thought about how she really didn’t have any fantasies of her own, but wanted a few.
Not ones with her vibrator.
With Carson. And I’m going to make some.
Sunday morning
SIENNA SLEPT in until ten thirty on the next morning, which was something she hadn’t done in a while. She had been exhausted once she got home the night before from her churning emotions. Her heart and mind were at odds with each other, and she’d tossed and turned trying to fall asleep, even after the relaxation of her bath.
She told herself she had to be rational and go back to her plan. A plan where she definitely didn’t open herself fully to anyone of the opposite sex, other than Asher, of course.
Yet her heart pounded with an urgency to get to know Carson like it never had before. She could feel the muscle throbbing in her chest, blood flowing in and out, desire building within the walls and seeping out into her bones. The night before she easily gave in to the organ, which pumped life into her blood, allowing herself to dream of frivolous, steamy sex with Carson, but that wasn’t on the docket for survival.
But her body wasn’t listening to her more pragmatic side.
Sienna had never had true intimacy. Certainly not in her marriage. She had been taught that sex was mainly for procreation. In her one relationship, there was never any emphasis on feeling good, orgasms, or pleasuring each other, yet she knew her husband forcing himself on her wasn’t the way it was supposed to be either. This was a large part of the reason why she loved her new world. The club was about feeling good, going deep with sexual desires, and fulfilling dreams without ever being shamed.
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