All of Me

by Vi Carter

  “Bob. You can only call me Bob. Mr. Garcia makes me feel old.” I nodded that I would as he stepped aside to let both Jared and me in. Surprise flittered through me as Jared took my hand, and my head snapped up to him. He wasn’t looking at me; instead, he was leading me down the hall. The door closed behind us and footsteps followed as we all entered the kitchen. The room was small, and the chaos of pots, pans, and ingredients made it seem crowded. I smiled at the mess as Mr. Garcia sheepishly smiled at us.

  “The best chefs are the messiest.” I hid a laugh behind my hand. The poor man he was in over his head. Setting my bag on the only empty spot on the counter, I started to gather up some of the mess.

  A hand came to rest on my hip, stopping me and causing a shiver to snake its way up my spine. “Don’t even think about it.” Jared’s brown eyes bore into mine, and my stomach flipped.

  “You go into the dining room and relax. It’s nearly ready.” I jumped away from Jared and bumped into the counter at the sound of Mr. Garcia’s voice. Oh God, what must he think of all this contact?

  “I don’t mind helping, Mr. Garcia.” I hoped I didn’t sound as breathless as I felt.

  “Please, Bob,” he said while nodding at the door that must have led towards the dining room. Jared hadn’t moved from where he stood, now retaking my hand. I glanced at Mr. Garcia who smiled at me. I smiled back while heat burned my face. When we got to the dining room, I pulled my hand from Jared’s and didn’t look at him; instead, I focused on the pictures that hung on the walls. The space was too small to have Jared touching me. Emotionally I couldn’t concentrate, so this way focusing on the pictures gave me a moment before Jared’s body heat burned my back. His arm reached over my shoulder as he pointed at the picture I was looking at. It was Jared holding a mic, at what looked like a wedding. The photo was black and white, and he looked breath-taking.

  “That’s my cousin’s wedding.” I looked over my shoulder at Jared and stared at his chest. Looking up at him, I smiled. “You have cousins?” It sounded like a silly question, but not to us. Cousins, aunts, and uncles were something we talked about, not just the idea of having parents and siblings. So the fact that Jared had found them made my heart swelled for him.

  “Yeah, and they're nice. You’ll get to meet them. They know all about you.” I blinked a few times at his sentence, but Mr. Garcia arrived with steaming plates. Sitting down, I exhaled and then inhaled the smell of food. Mr. Garcia placed a plate in front of me, just as Jared sat across from me. His grin widened as his own plate was put in front of him. My eyes wouldn’t stop staring at the lump of black meat on my plate. Mr. Garcia left to get his own and Jared laughed.

  “That’s steak. In case you’re wondering.”

  I picked up my knife and fork and had to really work on cutting off a piece. Stuffing it into my mouth, I gave Jared a quick smile. “I told you I like my steak well done.” Chewing the steak took a while, and by the time Mr. Garcia sat down at the head of the table, I nearly had the first piece gone. The vegetables and spuds were perfect. We chatted as we ate, but once someone put a piece of steak in their mouths, they had to focus on chewing and not talking. Sometimes we all ended up chewing together, and the silence reminded me of a church, when all you wanted to do was snicker but knew it wasn’t appropriate. My jaws ached, and I couldn’t look at Jared. I knew it would be the straw that broke the camel’s back and I would burst out laughing.

  “My non-stick pan may need replacing.” I looked from Mr. Garcia, whose eyes were lit up with amusement, before looking at Jared, and just like I thought, I couldn’t hold in the laughter. Jared joined me, and we sounded like two hyenas.

  “Next time Jared is cooking,” Mr. Garcia said, with laughter in his voice as he started to take away the plates. I liked the sound of a next time; it meant I hadn’t insulted the man completely. Pulling myself together, I glanced up at Jared to find him smiling at me softly as his gaze searched my face.

  “Come on,” Jared said. Getting up, he moved towards the kitchen but didn’t go in. “Dad, we’re going to hang out in my room for a while.” I halted. My pulse picked up its pace.

  His room.

  I didn’t hear what his father said back as Jared turned to me. I don’t know what he saw on my face, but once again he threaded his fingers through mine and lead me out a second door and back into the hall. We didn’t have far to go. His room was the door next to the dining room. I glanced back at the kitchen door before entering his room.

  Jared’s room was tidy, but that didn’t surprise me, it always was. A large twin bed was neatly made in a navy and white bedspread. The furniture was a simple pine wardrobe, nightstand, and chest of drawers. Jared sat on the bed and watched me as I took in his room. The wooden floor was mostly covered with a large navy rug. The blank walls were painted freshly in a white color. Jared had always been a fan of movie posters, and now I wondered what had happened to them. Did they remind him of before?

  Casting my gaze back to Jared, my stomach flipped. The way he was looking at me had me fidgeting with my hands. Jared got up and went to his wardrobe, returning with something grey. My heart jumped with recognition, and he patted the bed beside him.

  Oh, my God.

  I sat down slowly never taking my eyes off the sweater. My vision blurred a little, and I looked up at Jared.

  “You kept it.”

  “It’s all I had of you.” His voice sounded deep now. I reached for it, and without hesitation, he gave it to me.

  “Jared.” My vision blurred again, his face wavering.

  “It’s our past, and I won’t ever let it go.” I stared at the sweater. No, it was so much more. It scared away the monsters at night time. It smelled like Jared. Not thinking, I did something I had done a million times, I brought the sweater to my nose, and a choked laugh escaped me as I inhaled the same smell.

  Jared.

  Looking up at him, he let out a breath before getting up again. I watched him as he went to the dresser instead. His hands seemed rigid as he took something from the top and came back to me. As he walked the few spaces, he didn’t look at me. He seemed tense and nervous now as he handed me a small paper bag.

  I opened the bag and retrieved a small plant that made me smile. Slowly I lifted my gaze, and our eyes met.

  “It’s our present, from the day at the garden center.” My chest squeezed, and I nodded.

  He was showing me the past and the present. He took the plant from me and placed it beside us before taking my hands. My stomach fluttered.

  Now our future.” A weakness entered my body, and I thought this is it; he’s going to kiss me. I didn’t move or breathe, and a slow grin spread across Jared’s face.

  “Breathe, Layla.” He said it softly, and as I exhaled, his grin widened. “Good girl.” But soon the grin disappeared. “I want to know the wish you made.” He didn’t have to say when; I knew it was from the day at the garden center.

  Disappointment coursed through me. I swallowed and looked away, hoping he couldn’t see it in my eyes. “Hmm…” I had to think. Gazing up at him I felt a bit tongue-tied. The way his head was tilted and how his eyes seemed to roam my face, made me feel like I was a treasured painting or someone he had put upon a pedestal, someone of whom he loved to gaze. My pulse spiked, and I could feel the fluttering in my neck. “I wished that your wish would come true,” I answered honestly. He laughed. The sound was deep and caused butterflies to erupt in my belly.

  “What did you wish for, a million bucks or something like that?” I asked through a smile. A hyper-awareness of my hands in his hit me as he grew serious. His movement caused our legs to brush.

  “A kiss,” he said, and I found myself wetting my lips at his words.

  “A kiss?” I repeated. Why would someone like Jared waste a wish on a kiss? He seemed frozen.

  “Yes, a kiss.” My heart pounded, and my stomach fluttered as Jared moved closer. I was breathing heavily through my nose now.

  “Are you going to make my
wish come true?” The cheeky grin that accompanied his words had my stomach flipping. Who in their right mind would say no? He moved closer, and when I didn’t stop him, he took it as approval. He let my hands go, and he took my face in his large hands. My knees were weak now, my hands lay in my lap, I didn’t have a clue what to do. I wasn’t experienced like Jared. I had never gone beyond a kiss.

  He isn’t asking for your virginity. Just a kiss.

  CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

  Brown orbs filled my vision before he closed his eyes just as our lips touched. His were soft and gentle. He applied more pressure, and my hands fluttered to his chest. My veins burned, and my body throbbed in a way I didn’t know was possible. When my lips parted slightly under his, electricity flowed through me as the tip of his tongue entered my mouth. I inhaled sharply at the sensation, giving him more room to deepen the kiss. Our tongues touched, and I tightened my grip on his shirt, pulling him closer. This felt perfect, it was more than I had fantasized about night after night. A part of me thought that I might be dreaming. My brain was screaming for oxygen; it was the only reason I broke the kiss. A slight tremor had entered my hands as I clung to Jared. When he opened his eyes and looked at me, a prickly sensation crawled all over me, the fine hairs stood to attention.

  “When I was ten, I had this feeling when I looked at you, one I didn’t understand at the time. I thought it was that I needed to protect you. As I turned twelve, I thought it was because I fancied you. It wasn’t until I saw you again that I knew what that feeling was, what it is.” I couldn’t breathe; my heart was going to come out of my chest. “I love you, Layla, always have.” His forehead touched mine, and my vision wavered. “Always will,” he whispered, and I blinked, tears making a pathway down my face. His thumb was there wiping them away. “Don’t cry. Why are you crying?” I ducked my head down, and he followed me, not allowing me to hide. I was nodding now as tears dripped off my chin.

  I didn’t want to hide from him, I was just overwhelmed. I raised my head, and he followed. “You…” I swallowed my emotions as salty liquid found its way into my mouth. “You were like a superhero to me. During the day you were there, you always seemed to tower over everything. You cast shadows, hid me, protected me, and at night, you were there, too, just in a different way, scaring off the monsters. Now in this life, you’re fighting for me.” My finger traced the cut on his brow. “Loving me,” I said, finding it so hard to tell him what I was trying to say. “Love just doesn’t seem to cover all that I feel. You are everything to me.” Jared had stilled as I spoke and then his mouth found mine again, and the kiss wasn’t gentle, it was urgent and was filled with not just love, but loss and tears.

  “Jared.” Mr. Garcia’s voice in the hall had me leaping off the bed.

  Oh, God.

  Jared seemed as dazed as I was. “Yeah, Dad?”

  “Door. Open.” I cringed at his voice through the door. I wondered if he heard us. He didn’t seem like the snooping type. Jared straightened his shirt and rubbed his face before opening the door slightly.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled, and I didn’t hear Mr. Garcia’s response. I kept my back to the door. I needed a mirror to see how bad my makeup looked.

  Jared turned to me and said, “I’ll be back in a minute.” He left, and I looked around his room for a mirror only to find none.

  Really? Who doesn’t have a mirror in their room?

  Jared returned and kicked the door closed. “Open the door,” I quickly warned him. I didn’t want Mr. Garcia thinking we were disrespectful. Jared did so with a grin before ordering me to sit down on the bed. He had gotten a pack of wipes.

  “Lie back.” His command had me raising an eyebrow that made him smile.

  “Lie back, Layla.” I did, of course, I couldn’t not, he had the big guns out. His dimples.

  He leaned over me and my heart rate starting to pick up. “What are you doing?” I asked when he told me to close my eyes. He wouldn’t answer, only the boyish grin remained. When I closed my eyes, it felt like forever that nothing happened until a damp piece of material touched my face. Jared moved gently cleaning my face.

  “You are so beautiful.” His words had my heart stalling, and I slowly opened my eyes, my stomach tightening. He was so close that if I leaned up even slightly, I could kiss him, so I did. His eyes widened in surprise that lasted all of a second before he deepened the kiss, his tongue demanding entry into my mouth.

  “Dessert is ready.” I moved back as Mr. Garcia’s voice penetrated our kiss.

  “Okay, Dad.” I swallowed the laugh at Jared’s irritated voice.

  “Don’t be such a grouch,” I told him as I got off the bed, but he pulled me back down, electing a squeal from me.

  “A grouch?” he questioned just before kissing me. This was a lot of kissing, and my brain was scrambled by the time he let me back up. Actually, it wasn’t just my brain.

  The dessert with Mr. Garcia was different from the meal. First, I was floating and couldn’t stop smiling across at Jared. He was smiling back at me too. Second, the dessert, which was ice-cream, didn’t require cooking, so it tasted like ice-cream. Mr. Garcia took the time to talk about Jared. The way he spoke made it sound like Jared had always been here. He even managed a few embarrassing stories. The date went too fast, but I can say it was the best date of my life.

  “There’s a party Friday night, will you come with me?” I was sitting sideways watching Jared drive. I openly ogled him, now that I could. He would glance, lips twitching into in a smile.

  “Why are you staring at me? I’m not complaining, just curious,” he asked.

  “It’s just nice to watch you without worrying about you noticing,” I answered honestly even as heat rose in my cheeks.

  “You used to watch me?” he sounded amused now. He glanced at me, his grin so self-assured, and I rolled my eyes.

  “Sometimes, but don’t let it go to your head,” I teased.

  “Too late. It’s gone to my head.”

  I gave a laugh.

  “So, will you come with me?”

  My grounding would be over then, so I knew it wouldn’t be a problem with Carl and Evelyn. But I still pretended to consider it. “Yeah, of course.”

  “As my girlfriend.” My heart leaped at his words, his voice was deep, and he looked at me with uncertainty as if I might say no.

  “Yes. Yes of course.” My outburst caused him to laugh.

  “Great.” The smile that accompanied his word told me he was very happy about me accepting.

  I had a boyfriend and not just any boyfriend, but Jared.

  ***

  Dinner on Friday was tense. Jared had been working, and so had I, but we spent the evenings hanging out at mine since I was still grounded. I still hadn’t worked up the courage to tell Carl and Evelyn that I was going OUT with Jared. They had quizzed me about the meeting with Mr. Garcia, and I told them everything, I just left out what happened in Jared’s bedroom, like it never occurred.

  I took another huge bite of stir-fry after announcing I was dating Jared and going to a party with him tonight. It lodged itself in my throat, and it took half a glass of water just to wash it down. Evelyn had sat her knife and fork on the plate while joining her hands together, elbows on the table.

  “You’re dating Jared?” she questioned with her head tilted. I quickly glanced at Carl who wasn’t eating either.

  I nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

  Carl cleared his throat. “Since when?” No one sounded happy.

  “A few days.” They glanced at each other and straight away I thought I should have kept that to myself.

  “A few days?” Evelyn’s ordinarily level voice was high pitched.

  I swallowed. “Yeah.” Evelyn picked up her knife and fork and started back into her dinner. Carl and I watched her. I thought that this can’t be it, no more questions. She was cutting into her meat like it was livestock, not a soft piece of chicken. Carl covered her hand with his, stopping her, and they had a conversati
on with their eyes, which was something I had seen them do before. A part of me wanted to go to my room, but I waited until Evelyn looked up at me.

  “This party, where is it?”

  “It’s at one of Jared’s friends’ house.” Evelyn didn’t look sure, and my stomach plummeted. I wanted to go so badly.

  “Morgan is coming with me,” I blurted out.

  “Morgan’s nice,” Carl said while nodding as if he was trying to convince himself of that fact.

  Silence from Evelyn. I squirmed in my seat as she watched me.

  “This is your first boyfriend.” Her tone had softened now, but my face burned at her statement. She wasn’t going to do this in front of Carl. I wanted to crawl under the table and by the looks of it so did Carl.

  “As long as your mother is happy, you have my blessing. You’re a good kid.” Carl’s words ran deep into me, seeping into my soul. I didn’t think he understood the impact his words had. Evelyn’s eyes glistened, and I could see she knew what his words meant to me.

  “You’re growing up too fast.” Evelyn finally said her words low, but she was smiling. This was a moment I didn’t think would ever happen to me. Where parents would use a line like you’re growing up too fast. I dreamt about it, fantasized about it, and now it was real.

  “So, is Morgan picking you up?” Carl had started to eat again, which was a good sign.

  “Actually, I’m picking her up,” I said, and prayed that when I texted her and told her she wasn't just going to a party tonight, but going with me, that she would agree to it, or I wouldn’t be going anywhere. Carl and Evelyn exchanged more looks.

  “Okay,” Evelyn said, and I couldn’t contain the smile that spread across my face.

  “No alcohol,” Evelyn added, and I agreed immediately.

  “Home before midnight.” Evelyn was on a roll, but I agreed as well. Each rule that Evelyn laid down had Carl getting back into his meal.