by Jani Kay
But Eva?
I hated change, but things were going to be different after tonight. And there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. I was in so deep already and I hadn’t even fucked her.
Jesus Christ.
Would she choose to live on the edge? Surrender to me? Had I finally found the woman who was made for me? I'd never believed it was possible that there would be someone after Amy.
Was Eva the beauty who could finally tame my beast?
Chapter Forty-One — Eva
Harrison Summers intrigued me. I’d never known a man so lost, so broken, yet so damn sure of himself at the same time. He could unravel me with a mere look, set my heart beating against my ribs with a touch, make me wet and wanton with his words.
Not even Nolan Walker, the man I’d been engaged to for eleven months, had this effect on me. And no man, including my own father, had had the privilege of telling me what to do. Headstrong and stubborn, I had a mind of my own. I didn’t take orders. I was the one giving them—hiring and firing talented technicians and artists at Ryder Music had been my job, a kind of birthright since my father handed over the reins of the company to me.
Yet my inner psychologist couldn’t rest. Analyzing Harrison and his fucked up ways fascinated me—the more I saw him, the more I needed to know what made him tick.
Would I ever be able to submit, willingly, to a man? I didn’t know the answer to that, but I was prepared to try—to see where it took me. Harrison had captivated me and I was drawn in deeper with every encounter.
Never one to take the easiest route, I always wanted to push to the edge of my limits to see if I could get even more out of life. I’d been in my comfort zone for too long; it was time to jump into something new. And this thrilled me—made me feel alive in a way I hadn’t in a long time.
I lay back on the bed. I had no problem with that part. I was so ready to be fucked. Since Nolan moved out I hadn’t been laid, and I was desperate for cock. But to open my legs like Harrison asked, exposing my very core to him? That was so new and unexpected. It upped the ante a few notches beyond any comfort zone I’d ever encountered.
With trembling legs, I opened my thighs, feeling my juices gush as I imagined his response when he saw me like this. My pussy throbbed, eager for attention, wanting his mouth so desperately that I groaned with want.
Then I remembered. He wanted me spread-eagled. I raised my arms to my sides, and above my head, like I used to do as a kid making angels in the snow. Only, I hadn’t been naked then, waiting to get fucked hard. From where I looked down at my body, I could see how hard my nipples were, goose bumps scattered over my skin as I lay still, waiting, holding my breath. Where the hell was he? Was he playing with me?
I closed my eyes, taking a few deep but shaky breaths. What was he going to do to me? The anticipation was killing me.
“Good girl.” He chuckled, standing in the doorway, holding up handcuffs. Handcuffs? I swallowed hard, squirming already. I couldn’t help wondering how many times he’d used those on the women he fucked instead of on perpetrators.
Would I like it? Could I handle it? I was going to find out soon enough.
Harrison toed off his shoes then removed his socks, padding barefoot to the foot of the bed as if he were stalking his prey. I guess that was pretty much what I was to him. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing my thighs to stay open, even though I desperately wanted to slam them closed to his gaze.
“Such a good girl.” His voice was husky, but he sounded pleased. He pushed his knees against the mattress and sucked in a deep breath.
“Christ. You’re beautiful,” he murmured, amazement in his voice, “and so fucking wet for me.”
He ran a finger over my swollen pussy, slipping it beneath the folds, slick and throbbing, waiting, yearning. I had to bite my lip not to cry out. My eyes flew open as his touch left me. Bereft, I wanted to beg him to touch me again, anywhere, but I knew instinctively he wanted me to stay still. With wide eyes, I watched him taste me, licking his finger slowly.
“Delicious.” He smacked his lips. “ You please me, Eva.”
Warmth crept over the surface of my skin, from my chest to my cheeks. That was a compliment?
Without touching me, he came to the side of the bed, his eyes trained on me, the corners crinkled as a wicked smile touched his lips. This was torture, not knowing what was coming next.
“Turn around, Eva.”
I gasped. Really?
“Eva.” Just that one word—crisp, clear, assertive—and my spine tingled. It was a command, and he wanted it obeyed without question. I flipped onto my stomach, my heart pumping so hard that my ears whooshed.
“On your knees, hands together behind your back,” he ordered.
Cool steel against my wrists felt odd as he snapped the handcuffs closed. The buckle of his belt hit the floor, then the sounds of a zipper filled the room . . . then only our heavy breathing could be heard. It was as if time both stood still and moved at a breakneck speed. The familiar rip of foil followed and a few moments later the bed dipped behind me as it took his weight.
With both hands on my hips, he lifted my ass into the air. Warm skin caressed the orbs and then he kissed each cheek, his stubble scraping over my sensitive flesh. As he reached for my breasts, cupping them and squeezing, his hard cock nestled in the crack of my ass. He kissed my shoulder, then took a deep breath. “Ready, Eva?”
It wasn’t a question. His cock slipped down and rubbed against my entrance. His hand on my head pushed my cheek deep into the mattress as he slid into my wet pussy. Gripping a handful of hair, every inch of him filled me and he grew larger inside me, thrusting slowly so we could adjust to one another.
I marveled at his control. All I wanted was for him to go faster, deeper, harder. I had an itch I wanted scratched, desperate for the orgasm building in me to reach its climax. I wanted to come on his hard cock, goddammit.
As if he felt my need, his grip on my hair tightened and his thrusts sped up. Now I was taking a pounding, a fine mist of sweat covering my body as his balls slapped into my ass with every stroke forward, building to a crescendo.
He reached between us and found my clit. The second he touched it I went into overdrive and started coming. I was still convulsing, gripping his cock, when I felt a sting on my ass-cheek. I gasped for air. He was simultaneously slapping my ass, rhythmically between thrusts. It was such a turn-on, reverberating through my entire body down to my pussy, causing so much more pleasure than pain.
“Oh God, oh God,” I screamed as my orgasm shook my whole body. Instead of slowing down, it had intensified beyond anything I’d ever experienced.
“Yes, Eva. Scream my name. Tonight you are mine . . . to do with as I please. Say it,” he rasped.
He had me. My body, at least. I wanted nothing more than for him to own me.
“Yes. I’m yours. Tonight.”
“Ahhh, Eva.” He shuddered and found his release, pumping into me as he pulled my hair so hard tears sprang to my eyes.
How was it that this complex man could move me in ways I’d never known before? After this first taste of submitting to him, I wanted more. I was willing to give him my body, because he definitely knew how to get the best orgasms out of me.
But my heart?
No way.
For that, he was way too guarded with his own. He was hard, cold and distant. I knew heartbreak when I saw it, and Harrison Summers would trample my heart to pieces and not give a damn.
But I could do tonight. Submit completely, because I wanted to.
Chapter Forty-Two — Harrison
Waking with a jerk, it took me a few moments to realize where I was. Back at my apartment. Cold. Alone. Hung over. For the third morning in a row, since I’d left Eva’s place. But who was counting?
The sun streamed into the living room and I had to scrunch up my eyes against the glare that was blinding me, shooting arrows of pain into my throbbing head.
With a motherfucker of a he
adache, I remembered my last thought just before I passed out cold: way too deep. It repeated in my brain, over and fucking over, like a broken record on speed.
I was so screwed.
It has to fucking stop.
Spearing my fingers into my hair, it dawned on me. It was too goddamn late.
I was already addicted to her.
Fuck, I was lost in this woman who was tormenting my mind and body.
But she was off-limits. She was related to my archenemy, the one man I was bent on destroying. I couldn’t let my dick decide how this played out. Fuck no. I had to get a grip.
Guilt ate at me. Even though I despised Ryder Knox, even more so for knocking up my sweet sister, I had never meant to take an innocent life, even if indirectly. Through the haze of the drinking, Amy had come to me in delirious visions, chastising me for becoming a monster. Her words were a refrain in my head: “A life for a life doesn’t fix anything. Revenge and hatred are not the answer. Love is.”
It was as if she were standing in my apartment, talking to me. Only the fifth bottle of liquor made her go away. For years I’d wanted her to come to me in my dreams, and now she had, but not in the way I expected or wanted. She was sad, and I made her so. It was like a knife in the gut.
Yet I could taste the sweetness of revenge. I'd dreamed for years of vengeance, and finally it was within my grasp to settle the score. I had to clear my fucking head—if only it wasn’t pounding like this. I sat as still as I could, contemplating my next move. Even the slightest movement of my fucking eyeballs was like someone had stabbed a direct line from there to my skull.
This was the third day in a row where another virtually sleepless night was messing with my sense of logical thinking and rational decision-making. Amongst other things, I'd drunk a full bottle of vodka, grimacing as I swallowed the fiery liquid into my belly.
As much as I hated the thought, I had to stop myself from going back to Eva’s place. Why was it that in her arms I felt whole, and as if the peace that had evaded me for more than a decade could finally be mine?
She pulled me like a magnet. I couldn’t resist on my own. But after several bottles of hard liquor, I'd passed out on my sofa. Waking up with my head fuzzy and looking bedraggled, I cursed the empty bottles lying on the carpet. How had I come to this? Resorting to fucking drinking myself into a stupor to stop myself from doing what I really wanted?
To go back to Eva’s place.
To break all my own rules.
I wanted more than one time.
My mouth felt as if ten monkeys had shat in it. Empty Chinese takeout cartons sat on the coffee table and the TV was blaring. The noise hurt my fucking head. I clicked it off with the remote and hung my head in shame.
I’m a lame sack of shit.
A coward.
I couldn’t even face up to a woman, for fuck’s sake. Because she had me by the balls.
A knock at the door made me jump. Did it have to be so loud? I stumbled to the front entrance. Who the fuck was here this early in the morning?
I pulled the door open with a jerk. Savage.
I worked out every day, yet I was small in comparison to Sav. At six-foot nine-inches, Lucas Hunter Savage—known to most people by his surname only—was not a man anyone wanted to be enemies with. He had no family left, nobody to care about. His brother had gone down that day, and his mother died a month later from a broken heart, leaving my best friend an orphan. As the only survivors of the shooting that had killed all our mutual friends, we had joined the special ops cop squad together to avenge what had happened.
Savage was ruthless. He pushed himself beyond most human limits. The man was a fucking machine. In the army, I'd seen him kill men with his bare hands, usually dangling in the air as he strangled his enemy to death. I knew better than to cross him and was glad he was my friend and partner. I trusted him with my life. But today, I'd gladly fucking kill him if he didn’t go away.
“Dipshit. What the fuck happened to you? Has somebody died?” His cleanly-shaven face contrasted sharply with my three-day-old stubble.
“What do you want?” I grunted, holding my stomach to stop the nausea from taking over.
Uninvited, he pushed past me into the living room. “Christ. What happened to your place? It's fucking trashed. You’re the neatest bachelor I know. Somebody did die?”
I shook my head. Fuck, that hurt. Shaking my brain around wasn’t a good idea. “Nobody died. Everything is just fine. Now go the fuck away.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, squinting at me. “Not until you tell me why you haven’t been in to the office for two days. I call bullshit. Normally you live at the fucking office, now you don’t show? And just before our biggest showdown? Nah, you can’t fool me.”
Sav sniffed at the empty takeout cartons. “Jesus. When last did you eat? This shit is rotting.”
“Um . . . dunno. Don’t care, either.” Just the thought of food and my stomach lurched.
“Get your smelly ass in the shower. I’ll clean up here before I take you in to the office. Boss wants to see us. Strategic plans.” He gripped my crumpled shirt and steered me toward the bathroom.
“I’ll get to the office later. I've just fuckin’ woken up,” I slurred, the effects of the alcohol not worn off yet.
A flicker of sympathy shone in Savage’s eyes. “Harrison, it's midday, buddy. Dirty Harry will crack your ass if we aren’t at the meeting in an hour.”
My eyes widened, taking in more light than I wanted to. I screwed them shut. “It's not morning?”
“No, asshole. Now get in the shower.” He opened the taps and shoved me into the cubicle, clothes and all. The cold water hit me in the face. For a few moments I stopped breathing, the shock too much for my drunken system.
“Fuck you, Sav.”
“Love you too, Summers.” He chuckled as he closed the bathroom door behind him.
After I killed everyone else, he was next on my list. Why couldn’t he just leave me the fuck alone?
Savage had brewed fresh coffee and was just pouring us each a mug when I walked into the kitchen. I hadn’t shaved, because I simply didn’t care, but at least I didn’t smell like a drunk. And I'd brushed my teeth. Funny how just that one small action could make me feel human again.
Pushing a mug across the counter to me, Sav appraised me through narrowed eyes. “You still look like shit, pretty boy. Those dark rings under your eyes are a dead giveaway.”
“Listen, if I need beauty advice I’ll ask somebody else, huh?” Gulping down the first sip of the strong and robust brew, I knew I had a lot to be thankful for. Sav was an expert at bringing me back to life.
I shook two Advil from the container I’d fished from the medicine drawer, and swallowed them down with a sip of coffee. “Remind me what the meeting with Dirty Harry is about?”
Savage laughed, baring his teeth. “The Scorpio Stinger deal is still going down. Even after the MC boys got wind that we know about their operation. Just goes to show how stupid some people can be.”
I agreed. “Stupid indeed.”
“We’re making plans to take them down. It's happening on Sunday. You better get your fucking A game on.”
Remembering how my head had hurt when I’d nodded before, I just grunted. I'd take a shitload of vitamins to fix my hangover. It was time to put an end to the fucking weapons deal. I couldn’t wait for Sunday. At least it would give me something else to think about other than Eva. I smiled. This part of my life I understood—taking down criminals. It had driven me for years. Some thrills never got old.
Chapter Forty-Three — Ryder
Sunday morning, with Jade still recovering in hospital, I drove down to the compound, dread eating at my gut. The only way I could feel better was by opening the bike up and going full throttle down the highway. The wind in my face always seemed to clear the cobwebs away. And the closer I came to death, the more I appreciated life.
Before I knew it, I was idling at the big gates, waiting for s
omeone to let me in. Ratbag ran toward me and quickly pressed the button to open them up. I revved my bike in jest and then rolled her in and parked to the side under the carport.
Now that I wasn’t living there permanently, it struck me how uninviting the place looked, and a little more rundown than I remembered it. Although the damage from the earlier shootout had now been fixed and a coat of white paint had been slapped over the walls, the place lacked warmth. What was always my sanctuary, didn’t feel like home at all.
It was at that moment that it struck me that my home would be where Jade was. It wasn’t the building per se that made a home; it was that my woman was with me, beside me, that made me feel settled.
“Hey assholes,” I greeted Ratbag and Hammer as I hung my helmet over the handlebars. I took off my gloves and placed them inside the dome before giving the guys a hug and a slap on the back each.
“Glad you made it, brother.” Hammer gave me a crooked smile—he hated being left behind when the boys went on a mission, but he needed to run the computers, so he was more useful right here while the rest of the guys were out on the gun run.
“Good day, Ryder. Where’s ya sheila?” Ratbag asked in his nasal tone.
I laughed at his Aussie turn of phrase. “She’s at home,” I lied, not wanting them to know the truth.
Ox was cooking steaks on the barbeque, so he didn’t come over. He just lifted his beer in greeting and grinned widely, baring all this teeth, including the gold caps that shone in the sunlight.
I’d run a little late this morning; I'd stayed at the hospital holding Jade’s hand for longer than I should have. Reluctant to say goodbye and leave her, I’d stalled until the last minute— because I hated the reason I had to leave her and come here. Usually a barbeque at the compound was a fun event, a time for all the old ladies and kids to join the brothers and just relax and shoot the breeze.