by Syndi Powell
Carol stood and rushed to Ma’s side. “Oh, Ma. It’s Carol.”
Ma’s face split into a grin and opened her arms to the prodigal daughter. They hugged while Will looked on. “My Carey baby. You’re home. You’re home.”
Disgusted with how easily his sister could wheedle herself back into the family fold, Will stood and walked out of the room. “I’ll be back.”
He doubted they heard him.
He walked past the nurses’ station and to the dining hall where several tables of seniors played cards. He wondered if he would end up doing the same one day. Locked in a home, away from his family. Playing cards with other inmates.
And yet, this nursing home was different. They welcomed the seniors as part of an extended family. They held activities for the seniors and their children. It felt less like a prison hospital and more like...
Home.
Will turned and headed for the lobby and out to his truck. He checked the messages on his phone and frowned when he saw Tori’s car pull into the parking lot. He’d hoped to have time alone with Ma to find out how the treatment went, but now needed to deal with not one, but two sisters. He went over to her car and leaned down to speak to her. Tori jumped at the sight of him. “Don’t scare ten years off of me like that.”
“Carol’s here.”
Tori rolled her window up and exited her car. She hit the button on the remote to lock it. “About time she showed up.”
As she walked towards the seniors’ home, he took long strides to keep up with her. “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”
She shrugged. “What? She’s Ma’s daughter too.”
“But where’s she been? We’re the ones who have been here every day. Carol suddenly shows up, and Ma blubbers over her like she’s been the favorite all this time.” He held the door open for Tori.
She glanced up at him as she passed him. “It’s not like that.”
“Really? You’re missing the love fest in Ma’s room then.”
“It’s because Ma hasn’t seen her in years.” Tori started for Ma’s room. “Let her have her moment. She’ll be gone again before you know it.”
Probably with Ma’s silver. Will frowned and stalked after his sister. It was easier to channel his emotions to their sister’s return rather than Ma’s from the hospital. And yet, he hadn’t seen Ma this happy in a while. Maybe Carol being there wasn’t the worst thing.
Back in Ma’s room, Carol sat on the bed beside her, holding her hand. Tori ran around the bed and hugged their sister. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
He couldn’t believe how blind they were being. Or forgetful. Did the last six years of silence mean nothing? He stared at the three women crying and hugging. “How did it go, Ma?”
Ma raised her head to look at him. She looked so frail. So weak. “Okay, I guess. The doctor says it will feel worse tomorrow.”
Tori placed a hand on the arm that now looked bruised from the IV. “Did it hurt?”
“Burned a little.” She rubbed the bruise. “And my mouth tastes funny, just like Suzy told me it would.”
Will nodded. “I can get you something to drink.”
“You know what I’d like? Remember that one summer night when Daddy took us to the beach, and we watched the fireworks and drank tart lemonade?” Ma closed her eyes and sighed. “I sure could use some more of that.”
“I’ll get it.” Will was out the door before anyone could stop him. His mother wanted lemonade, so he would get it for her. This was something he could do.
Finally.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
WILL STRETCHED HIS legs out and tried to massage the kink out of his calf while not falling off the chair. He looked over at his mom, relieved that she still slept. The chemo treatment had taken a lot out of her, so she needed to sleep. He stood and stretched. Sleep sounded good, but he wanted...No, needed to be sure that everything was going to be okay. That his mom would recover. That this treatment would mean that the cancer would go away, and Ma return to normal. The waiting for answers was killing him.
He checked on her again, then left the room, shutting the door softly. The nurses’ station was vacant, so he leaned against the counter and waited for Suzy’s return. He looked at the monitors and wondered what each of the numbers meant. They were all green, so that must be good, he assumed.
“Why are you holding up my counter?”
He turned and caught sight of Suzy. Her light blue scrubs would seem subdued for her if she didn’t have her hair pulled back by a neon green bandana. “You like bright colors, don’t you?”
She shrugged. “Why not? Let me guess. You’re a black and white kind of guy.”
“There’s nothing wrong with those colors.” He reached up and loosened the silver tie he’d put on that morning. “They’re straight forward. Honest.”
The humor in her eyes faded. “What do you want?”
So they were back to that? He already missed the Suzy who would tease him. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“Well, I’m still not in the mood to talk to you.” She tightened the ties of her bandana. “And I have patients waiting for me.”
“Could I have a moment after you’re done with rounds?”
She shook her head and started to walk down the hall. He followed her. “Suzy, we need to talk.”
She kept her pace quick, and he hurried to keep up with her even with his long strides. “What else is there to say? It’s inevitable, right? It’s over.”
“You really think that?”
“Listen, what happened has happened. We can’t come back from that. And I can’t forget. Better to just let it all go.”
“So you think she’s going to die?”
Suzy stopped walking and turned to face him. “I meant that my house is ruined. What are you talking about?”
“My mom.”
“Oh.” She took a deep breath. Closed her eyes for a moment. “Sorry. I need to switch gears.”
He waited and watched her. He could almost see her pack the emotions that had been building up back inside their compartments to be dealt with later. He knew how to do that pretty well. He’d done it enough himself. Pack away the emotions and handle them at a more convenient time.
He ran a hand through his hair and grimaced at how long it was. He really needed to get a haircut. And soon. But he had other priorities. His mom’s health. His job security.
And if he wanted to admit it, the woman in front of him had started to become important to him too.
He sighed. “She seems sicker than she was when she was brought in here.”
“Probably because her attitude has changed. What was your mom like before she got here? Was she a go-getter? Unstoppable? Active?”
“Yes. All those.”
“I figured. She seems the type.” Suzy took a deep breath. “But since coming here, I’ve seen her attitude change, and because of that, her overall well-being. She’s taken this diagnosis pretty hard.”
Who wouldn’t? “We all have.”
“That’s the thing, Will. She needs to be in a fighting mood to beat this. If not, I don’t know if she’ll make it.”
He swallowed and found it hard to do with the lump there. “So what do we do? How do we change it?”
“I know that you want to swoop in and fix things. I get that. But it’s not up to you.”
“Then who? Ma? I can’t watch her fade away a little every day.” He started to blink fast, trying to keep the tears from forming there. “She needs to fight. Why won’t she fight?”He felt a hand on his back and knew that it was Suzy’s. “Maybe that’s something you need to talk about with her.”
He shook his head and let it fall forward. “I can’t.”
“Why not?
“Becaus
e that’s not what Stones do.”
* * *
SUZY LONGED TO reach up and touch his face. To give him comfort with a simple hand on his cheek.
But he was her nemesis. He’d kicked her out of her home. It was because of him that she was sleeping in Presley’s guest room. He was the enemy.
And yet he needed comfort. She could almost see the little boy in him crying out for a hug.
And it was that image that moved her.
She put her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. He wasn’t made of ice. Or stone. He was human and needed to be held.
Be loved.
She closed her eyes and breathed slower. Pretended that she didn’t hear his breathing get labored and heavy. That the sighs weren’t cries. She brought her left hand up to the base of his neck and ran her fingers at the hair there that was starting to grow out and curl up.
He smelled like coffee and peppermint. She breathed it in, surprised at how homey he smelled. And how inviting it seemed.
She held on to him and let him cling to her. Until he found the strength in himself to let go.
She regretted the moment his arms left her waist. They’d felt natural there. As if they’d belonged there all this time.
She looked up into his eyes and saw the steel growing behind them. He was a Stone again.
And that might be just what his mom needed.
She nodded. “Better?”
He glanced down. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
“It’s okay.” More than okay. “I find myself comforting a lot of my patients’ families.” But not quite like that.
And she had never found it hard to let go. But with Will....
She cleared her throat. “I need to check on my patients.”
“I need to see my mom.”
They looked at each other for another moment, and Suzy wondered what he was thinking. Was he thinking of holding her again?
Because despite everything that had happened, she was. It didn’t matter that he’d ruined her life. He’d only wanted to help her. She could see that now. But helping her had meant hurting her at the same time. She opened her mouth to say something then sighed and shook her head.
And then he turned and walked in the other direction down the hall.
* * *
SUZY FOUND HERSELF staring out a window of the seniors’ home one morning after sunrise. The weather had turned colder which left the vegetation starting to shrivel and die. The large stalks that had once held blooming pink elephant hibiscus were now empty and barren. She knew how they felt. Because that’s what was inside her.
Nothing.
Someone called her name, and she turned to face her supervisor Rita. “I was daydreaming.”
“At least that hasn’t changed.”
Rita handed her a piece of paper. Next week’s schedule. Suzy scanned it and frowned. “I didn’t request any vacation time.”
“I need you to be on top of your game, Bylin.” Rita leaned on the counter. “Go home. Get your head straight. See a shrink. Whatever you need to do to get over this because I need you at a hundred percent. All your patients do.”
Suzy gave a nod, but didn’t feel it. “I love my patients. And working with them makes me feel better.”
“Take these next couple of weeks to get healthier.” Rita put her arm around her shoulders. “We’ll reassess the situation, and you’ll return even better. This isn’t forever.”
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe this was her sign to start all over somewhere else. No home, no job. Maybe it was time to move on. Run away when things got too scary or uncertain.
Maybe she was more like her father than she’d thought. He’d run when things got too uncertain. And he’d never looked back.
She thought about saying something to her patients. Telling them goodbye or... She stopped in Mrs. Henderson’s room first and noticed that the older woman’s eyes focused even less these days. “How are you today? Breakfast will be coming soon.”
Mrs. Henderson nodded. “Did Mr. Selznick get my script to you yet? I need to learn my lines.”
Suzy patted her shoulder. “I’ll make sure to bring it to you as soon as it arrives.”
“I’m playing Scarlett O’Hara, you know.”
“I’ve heard.” Suzy gave her a smile. “I’ll be gone a couple days.” Or weeks. “And I wanted to be sure to tell you goodbye.”
Mrs. Henderson nodded. “I’ll see you at the movies.”
“You bet.”
Mrs. Stone’s room was next. The older woman was sitting up in bed, reading a book. When she noticed Suzy standing in the doorway, she put her bookmark in place and closed the book. “Good morning, dearie.”
“I wanted to check and see how you were feeling.”
“Better than yesterday.” She patted the bed. “But you’re looking horrible. What’s wrong?”
Suzy sighed and took a seat on the bed. “I’m going on administrative leave for a few days or so.”
Mrs. Stone gasped. “Suspended? For what?”
“I’m going through a lot right now, and my supervisor thought I needed some time to take care of things.” She gave a soft shrug. “I have some vacation time I haven’t used anyway, so why not?”
“Because of the house?”
“That’s part of it.” She pulled her ankle higher on to her leg. “I need to figure out what I’m going to do about that. And now my job. And...”
“And my son?”
“Your son is definitely something I’m not sure what to do about.” Suzy almost laughed at the look of expectation on Mrs. Stone’s face. “But right now, that means staying far, far away.”
“He loves you.”
“If he does, he has a funny way of showing it.” She got off the bed and walked to the door. “I might not be working here, but I’ll check in on you. And we have a date for your next chemo. Don’t forget.”
Mrs. Stone held out her hand, and Suzy walked to her and grasped it in hers. “I’ve come to think of you like a daughter, so I hope you’ll forgive me if I’m too forward.” She gave her hand a squeeze. “Don’t let your situation ruin the beautiful person you are. You are stronger than that.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Stone.” She leaned forward and kissed the woman’s cheek.
The older woman in turn patted Suzy’s cheek. “Lovey.”
* * *
PRES MOVED THE hangers from left to right as they perused the dresses at the mall in Traverse City. Rick and Lizzie’s wedding was the following afternoon, and neither Pres nor Suzy had something to wear. Pres pulled out a red strapless cocktail dress and held it against her body. “What about this one?”
Suzy gave her a thumbs up. “I’m sure it will look great on you. You’ve got the body for it.” She looked down at her own. “I’m short and stubby. That would make me look like a cherry.”
Pres laughed and placed the dress back on the rack. “No, it wouldn’t. It would give you color.”
Suzy shook her head and kept looking. “I don’t understand why Will wouldn’t let me into the house just to get that one dress in my closet. Would it have killed him?”
“I think he was more worried that it could kill you.” Pres flipped through more dresses then looked up at her. “Have you decided what you’re going to do with the house?”
Uncertainty still reigned. Should she try to find the money to fix it or let it go? Maybe bulldoze it like Will had suggested. “I don’t know yet. I haven’t wanted to deal with it.” She put one dress down and picked up another. “Are you asking me to leave?”
Pres put her hand on Suzy’s arm. “Not at all. I’m enjoying our time together. Like tonight. When’s the last time we had a girls’ night out?”
True, but Suzy didn’t want to overstay he
r welcome. “If that changes, you’ll tell me, right?”
“I will always be honest with you.” Pres chose another dress then walked close to Suzy and held the royal blue dress up to her. “So I need you to listen to me. Until you decide what you want to do, you’re not going to be okay.”
“You sound like Page.”
Pres put the dress back. “Then she’s a brilliant therapist because I’m right. You’re stuck under this black cloud until you decide what you’re going to do. And putting off the decision is only hurting you.”
“I’m fine.” Suzy left the rack and circled around to another one. Maybe there would be a better selection on this one.
Pres soon joined her. “You’re not sleeping. Barely eating.” Pres crossed her arms. “That doesn’t sound fine to me.”
“You don’t know what it’s like.”
“So explain it to me.”
Suzy kept her head down, focused on the silky blouse in her hands. “It feels like I’ve lost Mama all over again. That she’s gone, and I’m alone, and I don’t know what to do.” Suzy covered her face and started to sob. “I’m barely hanging on here, Pres. I’ve been trying to stay positive, telling myself that it’s all going to be okay. That it’s all going to work out. But I honestly don’t know if it will. I’m so lost.”
Presley put her arms around her and rubbed her back. “This is the first time I’ve seen you cry since your mom got sick. It’s okay to let this out.”
Suzy shook her head. “Mama didn’t like my tears. She only wanted my smiles, so I made sure to give them to her.”
“That’s not healthy, Suze. That means you’ve been denying your emotions for years.”
“And now it feels like they’re all coming out.” Suzy wiped her face. For years, she’d been ignoring them, but she couldn’t keep doing that anymore. She didn’t want to. She needed to get to where she could take control of her own life. Figure out what she wanted and make the right choices for her future. “You’re right, though. I need to make a decision soon.”
“If you want to move, why don’t we go looking at places on my next day off? Now that you have all this free time, we can get an idea of what’s out there. See if it would be worth letting your mom’s house go.”